Emma Swan

I slammed the door behind me, a little bit harder than I initially intended too. I'm angry with my friends for always passing judgment on Neal, but honestly, I'm angrier with myself than my friends.

I know Neal has dipped his hands into some shady things before. I always just brushed it off and looked the other way. He always insists that once I graduate and we get ahead in life, he will stop. My boyfriend never divulges in the details of what he's actually doing, he always shrugs off the speculation and says it's not that bad or I don't need to worry myself over it.

A light knock suddenly tapped against my door. I don't have to ask, I know it's Regina. If it was Ruby, she would've barged her way through already, as if this were her room. Regina and I have become very close but she's still a little standoffish, thanks to her mother. Although I know Regina has come a long way in a short period of time. I'm so proud of myself for wiggling my way into her life and finally persuading her to open up to me. I've been slowly picking away the icy wall her mother built up around her heart. I'm honored she's a part of my life now and I honestly couldn't imagine a world without Regina Mills.

"Come in Regina," I mocked, prompting the door to slowly creek open. Her raven hair peeked around the corner cautiously before she entered.

"Are you alright Emma?" She asked lingering in the doorway. I mentally laughed thinking how uncomfortable she appears in this situation.

"You can come in all the way." She smiled shyly before she pushed herself off the door and walked over to my bed. She didn't sit down which took me by surprise, instead she made sure to keep a safe distance.

"Are you upset with what I said?"

"I don't understand why you and Ruby are so hard on Neal. He's trying his best for the both of us," I tried to reason.

"I understand that, but he doesn't have to do anything illegal. Do you even know what he's doing?"

"It's none of your business. It's mine, he's my boyfriend. Besides I thought you weren't going to cause any problems between us?" I snapped as my frustrations consumed my actions. I hadn't realized I was now yelling at my friend until I noticed the brunette wince.

"I said I wouldn't and I'm not. I'm just offering some friendly advice. I don't want-"

"I know. I know. You don't want me to get hurt." I exasperate. "Regina I've been with the guy for five years. He's never once hurt me. I'm fine."

"Okay then, end of discussion," Regina replied as her eyes casted nervously toward her feet, but I was still heated.

"Not okay then, because you will still be all judgey every time you see him!"

"Judgey?" She inquired causing her concerned eyes to flick up to meet my gaze.

"Yes! You are always judging him and giving him weird looks!" I retorted. My annoyance was growing rapidly only inspiring my tongue to become more defensive for my boyfriend's sake.

Even though, I know she's right. I know something fishy is occurring behind my back and instead of fixing it, I'm placing the blame on Regina. I'm lashing out all my frustrations on her, knowing how wrong I am, but I can't seem to stop this downward spiral.

"Well I apologize if that's what you think. I am always respectful toward him," she explained as kindly as she could manage, but I could see the hurt building in her eyes. She's trying very hard to be a good friend and I'm being a down right bitch. It's just easier to argue with Regina than face the facts.

"Respectful and genuinely nice are two different things."

"Okay..." she stretched out the simple word as she began collecting her belongings from my bed. "I think it's best if I leave."

I watched in complete silence as she packed her essays away into her folder. I should tell her to stay. I should really tell her I'm sorry, but I'm just too damn stubborn and right now I need to be angry at someone.

She swung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of my room closing the door behind her. Through the closed door I could still hear Ruby ask what's going on, but I didn't hear Regina answer, I just heard her say goodbye.

I threw myself back onto my bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. I'm a horrible person. Why did I have to be so cruel to her? This isn't her fault. I was just so furious because I knew she was right and I felt ashamed for always neglecting Neal's stupidity.

My muscles began to relax as my eyelids grew heavy. I spent my whole day locked away with Regina working on my paper and now I was mentally drained. Now with this small quarrel between Regina and I, I am happily welcoming the sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A distinct sound of shuffling registered in the back of my mind. I begged myself to wake up and face whoever was fumbling through my room. Next came the hustle and bustle of my dresser drawers being opened and closed softly, conscience not to disturb my slumber. My eyes finally fluttered open to find a blur shaped figure rummaging through my room. I rubbed my eyes to regain focus on the sight before me.

"Neal?" I called out, but my voice was hoarse from my sleepy state. I highly doubt my voice was even audible but then the figure before me froze, not moving one single muscle. "Neal?" I tried again as the hooded man turned around slowly.

"Hey baby, go back to bed," he smiled but all I could see was the fear clouding his eyes. I quickly sat up as reality kicked in, he's packing his stuff.

"Neal, what are you doing?" I blurted out.

A cold shiver ran up my spine causing the little hairs on the back of my neck to stand in attention. My heart started racing as my mind shuffled through all the possibilities that could play out right now.

Neal slowly sat down next to me on the bed. His hand cupped my cheek as his rough thumb swept back and forth across my flushed skin.

"I have to go baby," his voice croaked out. Neal's brown eyes welled up with tears and my heart began to pound furiously. I knew something was wrong forcing my breathing to become erratic. My fingers curled around his broad wrist, that was holding my face so lovingly.

"Where are you going?" I calmly asked making direct eye contact, so I could see if there were any lies beneath his future words.

"I have to leave the country. I'm not sure for how long, but I have to, right now." His voice trailed off as his own emotions became far too much.

"What? No! You can't! What happened?"

I was becoming frazzled just thinking about Neal having to leave for any reason. In my mind's eye, I could see my sanity but there was a dark cloud swarming around it.

"Baby some things happened on this job. I think they have August and I on camera. We need to get out of here."

Without any hesitation, I jumped up from my bed and ran to my dresser.

"Then I'm coming too!"

I began pulling clothes from my dresser drawer recklessly. I didn't give a second thought to the random choice of clothing that I anxiously pulled out. The dark cloud was swelling by the second, fully taking over my logical thinking and blurring my vision before me.

Neal gripped my wrist and spun me around to face him. I collided hard against his chest, but my mind didn't register the pain as I peered up into his eyes.

"No, you're staying here. You can't come. I can't involve you in something like this. Besides, you are about to graduate. I can't take that away from you."

This time both of his hands were cupping my face, gently caressing my cheeks. The tears started to flow freely down my face without my permission. The stomach acid was slowly creeping up my chest, threatening at the back of my throat.

"No! I love you! You can't just leave me!" I demanded forcefully even through my voice was trembling violently.

This must be a dream, there's no way my boyfriend of five years is leaving me in the middle of the night. Five long years. He is my world...my everything. I don't even know how I could survive without him. I can't even imagine my life without seeing him every day.

"I love you too Emma. I always will, but I'm no good for you. All your friends know it and I know it."

"But I don't know it," I sniffled, attempting to keep my nose from leaking, but my whole face was already soaked.

"Yes, you do baby girl, you just don't want to admit it," he smiled as he pulled me in slowly to place a gentle kiss to my forehead.

I jerked away hysterically, I can't allow him to leave. Rage began to consume my limbs, forcing me to shove his hands away from me.

"No! Stop it! I'm coming with you. We are soul mates. I will never find someone like you. I will never-" Neal wrapped his strong arms around my body, holding me securely in place so I couldn't pull away.

No, no, no, this can't be happening.

"You will love again Emma. Your heart is too big not to. I promise you not a day will go by that I won't think of you. I love you with everything I have and I'm giving you your best chance at life."

My body was in a full-blown panic attack. I was gasping for air as the tears continued falling from my face. I was sobbing uncontrollably. He pulled my body back and placed one more kiss to my forehead before he grabbed his bag and walked out the door.

I tried to chase him, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. There was a missing connection from my brain to my body. I felt sick to my stomach. My quivering legs gave out, causing me to sink down to the floor. I laid on the cold hardwood boards and cried violently until my body couldn't produce another tear.

I pulled my phone from my back pocket and sighed heavily. The bright screen lit up my entire pitched black room. The light was far too bright, forcing my eyes to squint until I could adjust. I scrolled through my contacts, contemplating if I should press the call button or not. Finally, my thumb hit the button and I waited.

"Hello?"

"Neal left me."