Chapter 23

Clark stood on an adjacent roof-top building, his powerful arms crossed over his chest as the wild winter wind mussed his hair and made the tails of his overcoat flap out behind him like dark angel wings. He watched as the red SUV pulled into it's assigned parking space. Chloe sat behind the wheel for a few more seconds, fixing her make-up in the rearview mirror. Clark bit the inside of his cheek when he realized she was wiping a tissue under her eyes and set about fixing her mascara. She must have cried all the way from Smallville. The constant war within him raged forth. Part of him wanted to reveal himself and kiss the tears away, but the other part rebelled, enjoying the anger and self-righteousness of being the injured party once again. Chloe recapped her mascara and shoved it into her purse, opening the door and stepping down from the vehicle.

As every other morning, she'd gotten up around six-thirty. After taking a shower, she sat on the edge of the tub and slathered some kind of sweet smelling goo into her skin. She then wrapped herself in that tattered yellow robe, twisting her hair up and clipping it at the back of her head. She brushed her teeth and then went into boys' room, waking first Kaid and then Connor. The boys grumbled slightly before coming slowly awake. Chloe didn't leave until the boys were sitting up and wide-eyed in their bunks. Once she had the boys up, she went to the kitchen where she found his mom making breakfast and chatting with Davis who had come in for some food before going back over to the Hubbards'. Chloe smiled a good morning and like all the other times, Clark's blood boiled when she would pay attention to the interloper at his kitchen table. Martha kissed Chloe's cheek before handing her a cup of coffee, sending the woman back upstairs to get ready.

An hour later, Chloe and the boys tramped down the stairs where they ate all the breakfast prepared by Martha. At eight o'clock on the nose, Chloe herded the boys out and into the SUV. At eight-ten, Chloe pulled up in front of Smallville Elementary. Clark watched from a safe distance as Chloe parked and walked both boys up to the front of the building. With disdainful expressions, they accepted her good-bye kisses before they ran off and joined some other boys walking into the school, their backpacks bobbing on their shoulders and golden hair glinting in the morning sun. Standing by the hood of her car, Chloe watched as Connor and Kaid disappeared into the school. At this moment, Clark himself zipped back to the Talon apartment and sped through his morning shower. Dressed and ready for work, he downed a bowl of cereal and a few pieces of toast before taking his place outside his apartment door.

Like clockwork, at eight-eighteen, the right door swung open with a jingle and Chloe walked in. And like every other morning, her eyes fluttered up to the second floor landing. Unlike every other morning, though, Clark stayed where he was. Adjusting the knot of his tie at his throat, he met Chloe's eyes. For a moment, he was taken aback. Every other time they'd met, whether it be in the frozen food aisle in the grocery store or across the street, Chloe would look at him with her heart in eyes, remorse and guilt pleading with him. Not today. Today, the glassy green depths were sparking with anger and resentment. Forcing her lips into a cold smile, Chloe shook the blonde waves she'd arranged her hair in out of her face and thrust her shoulders forward, gliding on impossibly tall heels to the counter where she placed her order. Clark's heart beat in his chest as she tapped her clear polished nails on the glass, holding her chin high in a regal manner. Exchanging the money in her hand for the red and black Styrofoam container, Chloe smiled graciously at the girl behind the register. Clark didn't know why, but the emotion in her eyes moved him more than all the apologetic glances in the world could. Bounding down the stairs toward her, he arrived at the bottom stair as she crossed over the threshold. He stood transfixed as she walked right past him, sliding over-sized oval sunglasses onto her face, shielding her eyes from him. She paused, her hand on the bar of the door. Clark waited, praying she would turn back to him. Instead, her back stiffened and Chloe stalked out in to the bright morning light.

He'd flown high overhead, watching the SUV below him as it made it's way along the twists and turns of HWY 94, leading into Metropolis. Minutes before Chloe pulled into her spot, Clark had landed on the roof-top next to Isis. Whether Clark wanted to admit it or not, this had become his favorite part of the day. Like a druggie always looking for his next fix, Clark drank in the sight of Chloe sauntering into the lobby. With a burst of speed, Clark changed roof-tops, finding one that looked directly into her office. The dynamic had changed between them this morning. Clark was no longer the only one angry. He couldn't deal with an angry and resentful Chloe. He didn't like feeling like he was somehow to blame for the chasm that stretched between them. But he did. He'd deleted her texts and emails without reading them. He'd deleted her voicemails without listening to them. He'd thrown out her letter without opening it. One of the double doors opened and Chloe stepped inside her office. Clark watched as she walked across the carpet to her desk. She was wearing Clark's favorite pair of heels, the ones that slimmed her calves and lifted her rear and lengthened her legs. They matched the teal color of her pencil skirt.

Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I just get over it? Clark shouted at himself. With a heavy sigh, Clark pushed himself into the air. He needed to be at work. Perry had been jumping on him for weeks now about dragging himself in at nine-thirty every morning. By nine-thirty, it was usually safe to go into the office. Lois, by that time, was usually off chasing down a lead and Clark could avoid her until early afternoon when she came trudging in, either snarling at a dead end or almost vibrating off her chair in excitement at a possible story angle. The partnership and tentative friendship between him and Lois had disintegrated. Now all they were, were two reporters who shared the same work space and that was it. Lois was starting to cover more and more of Superman's feats, although sightings of the man were hard to come by. Mostly people were just seeing a blue blur, Clark not having the nerve to show himself like he did the day of the elevator explosion. Clark was covering more public interest stories, annoying the crap out of Perry with articles about pet shelter adoptions and the lack of funding for the Senior Center, resulting in a shortage of water-wings for the Splashing Seniors Water Aerobics class. Lois hardly spoke to him when she did see him which was just fine with Clark.

He came down beside the dumpsters behind the Daily Planet. Striding around the corner of the block, Clark entered the revolving doors and made his way up to the fifth floor. The doors opened and Clark pushed his way to the front and out. Shrugging out of his overcoat, he looked about the newsroom. It was quiet, what with it being a few days before Christmas most people had taken off or left on vacation time to be with family. Boughs of holly with tiny lights were strung around the tops of the walls and a lot of desks were decorated for the holiday. There was even a short Christmas tree beside the coffee maker in the corner. And at his desk, Clark spied a tall woman dressed in a elf costume that looked as if it should be paired with a mall Santa. He groaned when he realized the woman was Lois. And she was holding a bag in her fingers with his name on it. Clark fought the urge to run. He didn't like the idea that was running through his head.

"Hey, Clark," Katie, one of the other reporters greeted him, smiling brightly at him.

"Hi, Katie," Clark replied, ignoring the flirtatious tone in her voice.

Lois spun around at the sound of his name. She shot Katie a murderous glance that sent the girl ducking behind a file cabinet and then turned back to Clark. Her eyes softened a tad, but didn't lose the dangerous gleam. Clark remembered Chloe's eyes but quickly pushed the memory away. Clark stopped six inches from Lois' green slippers with a little gold bell at the tip of the tall curve.

"I never pegged you as one of Santa's Helpers, Lois," Clark said snidely. "More of a minion."

"Can the 'tude, Smallville. Catch," Lois replied as she tossed the bag to him.

Clark caught it and peered down inside. A mound of red fabric with white fur edging lay in wait. Clark shook his head. "I don't think so," Clark said, leaning over and dropping the bag back on his desk. "You can find some other drone to play the Jolly Man. I don't know what you have planned but this was never in my job description."

"Sorry, Scrooge. This came down this morning, straight from the top. Barney, the guy who plays Santa every year at the Toys For Tots rally, is sick. Oliver needed a substitute. Your name was the one pulled out of the gift bag," Lois stood, the bells attached to her elf costume tinkling. "Rally started ten minutes ago. Suit up and let's go."

"I'm not doing it," Clark said stubbornly. "You two can find some one else to make a fool of. I think I've had my fill for awhile."

Lois halted. She turned around slowly, keeping her fists balled at her hips. She stared at Clark. "Made a fool of you? Is that what you think we did?"

Clark decided against sitting down. Lois was in fighting stance and Clark could use all four inches he had on her. Clark started to respond, but Lois beat him to it.

"Yes, that's exactly what me and Ollie were doing. Watching you with your sons and laughing at you behind your back," Lois spoke in measured tones. "Do you actually hear yourself?"

Again, Clark tried to respond. Again, Lois barreled on.

"You have two of the most amazing sons who are so full of life and joy and love. And what have you done? Have you got to know them? Have you spent any time with them? No, because you are too busy pouting just like Kaid does when Chloe won't let him have ice cream before dinner. Did any of this play out like any of us wanted? Do you think I enjoy watching my cousin slowly start to cut herself off from everyone again? Just like she did when you left her the first time?"

With every word Lois gained volume and took a few more steps, coming toe to toe with Clark.

"I have spent sixteen years watching Chloe mourn for your sorry ass. All that time, I may not have liked you, but I respectedyou. I thought you may have been a pretty stand-up guy. Even when Chloe was raising those boys by herself and going for days without sleep or a moment to herself. I knew there had to be something special about you when Chloe would refuse to say a word against you, even when she was at her wit's end and her nerves were shot. All these years I've been telling Chloe, you're not worth her time. You're not worth her tears. You're just not worth it." Lois finished on a snarl. She started to stalk off, but turned on a dime and glared at him through a vicious smile. "I love being right, Clark. But just this once, I would have loved even more to be wrong."

Lights twinkled up at him from the decorated roof-tops of a housing edition in Metropolis. It was Christmas Eve and most people would think the night would be quiet. Wrong. Clark had already stopped three muggings, five drunk drivers and even one tree fire from a busted Christmas light in an apartment in Suicide Slums. Clark looked at his watch. It was only seven-thirty. He shook his head. Behind, he picked up the crunch of footsteps. Stilling, he listened closer as the footsteps came nearer. Just as he was about to put on a burst of speed, a familiar voice spoke into the cold night.

"Nice outfit. Little too brooding for you, though. But, that's just my opinion."

Clark looked down at the long black leather coat he was wearing over a black t-shirt and black pants with black motorcycle boots. He turned to Oliver, dressed up as the Green Arrow.

"You think you're the only one who can pull off the leather look?" Clark asked sarcastically.

Oliver flashed his teeth in a grin, pulling off his sunglasses and pushing back his hood. "I read about the Monorail collision you stopped. Very impressive. You better be careful, Lois is starting to develop a serious case of hero worship."

"I wouldn't worry, Oliver. If Lois ever finds out who Superman really is, she'll start saying he's the devil incarnate," Clark threw back.

"You should give her more credit. She doesn't hate you, Clark."

"You could have fooled me." Clark turned back to the city. He felt Oliver come up beside him. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you and Lois be cuddled up somewhere with some glasses of spiked egg nog?"

"Don't you know heroes never get nights off? I was actually heading out when I saw you up here. Christmas Eve dinner," Oliver paused. "In Smallville."

Clark schooled his features. He didn't respond, just kept looking off in the distance, listening for sounds of trouble.

"You know, the gang would love to have you. We missed you on Thanksgiving," Oliver tried again.

Clark took a deep breath. He looked over at Oliver. "Well, thanks for stopping by. I wouldn't want to keep you any longer from the big celebration."

"Right," Oliver replied. He followed Clark's gaze back out over the city. "How long are you going to punish her?"

Clark tensed. "I'm not punishing anyone."

"She made a mistake, Clark. Something you know all about. Don't stand there and act like you've never made a choice you regretted. Or made a decision for someone else because you thought it was the right thing for them."

The two men met each other eyes.

"How could Chloe keeping the fact that I'm a father be the right thing for me? Or letting me think that Connor and Kaid belonged to you?" Clark questioned, facing Oliver.

"I don't know, Clark. Maybe you should ask Chloe," Oliver responded. "She's tried to explain things to you, but you keep pushing her away. You owe her the chance to explain."

"I owe her nothing," Clark said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, really?" Oliver barked back. "Tell me, Clark, who helped you run and hide up at the North Pole? Who put your life before hers trying to bring you back from that Phantom place you got sucked into with Lois? Who, during every mission we ever worked together, kept one eye on you and the other eye on the five of us? For the past eight years, who is the woman who has been raising your sons by herself while trying at the same time to protect their secret and your identity? Chloe has been your best friend for a long time Clark and she has always put your feelings and well-being before hers."

"Then why didn't she tell me?"

"Because she was scared!" Oliver exclaimed. "She was scared, Clark."

"Of what?" Clark asked, not really expecting an answer.

"That is something you need to ask her."

"I don't know if I can get past this, Oliver," Clark admitted quietly. "I have always trusted Chloe. She's always been the one whose stood by me. How could she do this? She lied to me. You all lied to me." Clark turned his head and looked at Oliver. "How could you keep something like this from me? I thought you were my friend."

Oliver's face clouded for a moment. "For the same reason I never told Chloe that you played Dr. Howard Mierzwaik with her memory. Because I was asked not to," Oliver told him pointedly before he clapped Clark on the shoulder and turned, walking across the roof-top to the fire escape. Clark stayed facing the north, watching the clouds that were moving in, promising snow.

"She's leaving, you know."

Clark turned and looked at Oliver, one foot on the fire escape. "What do you mean?"

"Chloe's leaving."

"Leaving what? The League? Isis?"

"She's leaving Smallville." Oliver stepped back on the roof, meeting Clark in the middle of the roof. "She told you. In the letter she wrote, she told you she was leaving."

"I didn't read it."

Oliver rolled his eyes. "She and the boys are moving to Baltimore to be closer to her parents. She sees no point in staying in Smallville any longer."

"When is she leaving?" Clark asked, feeling frantic. He didn't want Chloe to leave him.

"Day after tomorrow. Her and Davis-"

"Davis?" Clark growled.

"Yeah," Oliver continued, hiding a small smile. "Her and Davis are driving up. She's bought a house and everything."

"Well, you have to stop her, Oliver."

Oliver laughed. "You think I haven't tried? All of us have. Including your mother." He sombered. "But her mind is made up. She says she needs a fresh start. There are too many memories here."

Clark swallowed. He felt like he was losing everything.

"We all make mistakes. What's important is what we do after we make the mistake. I know Chloe hurt you, but she wants to make it right. And letting Chloe leave, letting Connor and Kaid leave, will be the biggest mistake you will ever make. Take it from some one who knows. Girls like Chloe, they only come around once in a lifetime. When they do, you hold on to them. No matter what. You will never find some one who loves you as much as Chloe does. And I know you love her. You can't let this stand between you."

"Sometimes love isn't enough." Clark looked at Oliver, still at odds with himself.

Oliver shook his head. "Love should always be enough." He turned and slid down the fire escape. Clark watched him ride off on his bike, Oliver's words ringing in his head.

Clark watched until Oliver's tail-light was swallowed up into the darkness. Chloe was leaving. She was leaving Smallville. And she was taking his sons with her. Clark didn't know what to do. Clenching his jaw, he realized he'd foolishly believed Chloe would continue to wait for him until he was ready. Just like she had always done. But he'd given her no encouragement that he would in fact be coming back.

Oliver had been right. Chloe wouldn't have done this without some kind of reason. She had never once been intentionally hurtful or deceitful. She'd been his best friend. She'd walked through hell with him and for him.

"She has always put your feelings and well-being before hers." Even when he didn't deserve it. And she was leaving. Leaving for the same reasons Clark had left eight years ago. Clark couldn't let her leave. He didn't want her to leave.

"Love should always be enough," Clark whispered to himself. He was still mad and he was still hurt. But he loved her. He loved Chloe Sullivan more than he could have ever imagined loving someone. He loved her for who she'd been to him and who she was. He loved her for always loving him, even when she was certain it would never be returned. Most of all, he loved her for the life they'd created together and the family she'd given him. He loved his sons. He didn't know them, but he loved them. He couldn't live without Chloe and the boys. The memory of the eight, long lonely years he'd spent in the Fortress without her smile, her smell, her annoying habit of talking at warp speed pressed in around him. He couldn't go a day without seeing her. He'd been basically stalking her since the night at the warehouse, tracking her every move when he could. If she moved to Baltimore, it would be even more difficult than it was now. She couldn't go. She couldn't take his sons. The boys he hadn't even gotten to know. And they would need him, too. He'd been so selfish this past month. He'd only been thinking of what Chloe had done to him, what they all had done to him. But what had he done to them? What had he done to Chloe? To their sons? He promised he would never leave her again and at the first wave of trouble he bolted. He abandoned her again and not just her. Connor and Kincaid, too.

Clark leaned against the brick wall of a neighboring building. He hadn't even told he loved her. She didn't even know. Clark didn't know if he could stop her from leaving. Maybe he'd already missed the opportunity of letting Chloe explain herself and maybe they could never go back, but he had to try. He had to tell her how he felt. Beyond that, Clark wanted to know why she'd done it. Why she'd kept all this from him? Clark clenched his fist. He wouldn't let Chloe leave. Not like this. And not with Davis.

Pushing off, Clark shot into the air and headed north, toward the Fortress of Solitude.

Clark touched down at the end of the driveway. He saw a few cars and Oliver's bike. Like Thanksgiving, all the windows were lit up and a few strands of elegant white Christmas lights were hung from the eaves of the house. Out of habit, Clark focused and the walls melted away. The fired crackled happily while the people gathered around it drank from cups with snowflakes or reindeer painted on them. Shelby, with reindeer antlers tied behind his ears, laid across Connor and Kaid's laps as they watched 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. Clark took a deep breath. He walked the length of the driveway. As he stepped up on the porch, he stomped the snow from his boots. He'd changed into jeans and a red sweater, wanting to at least try to look in the festive mood. He even had a green t-shirt on underneath. Steeling himself, Clark reached out and rang the doorbell.

"I'll get it!"

Clark breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Chloe's voice call out. Clark turned, his breath taken away at the prospect of seeing her again, being this close to her. He heard the door knob turn. The door opened as he swung back around.

Lois glowered at him from the doorway. "Can I help you?"