Regina Mills

One week since Emma took the pregnancy test that has sent her on a downward spiral. She has completely shut down, avoiding our friends and her responsibilities. If she wasn't pregnant, I truly believe she would have avoided food at all cost. Since she graduated, she has the ability to sleep all day. I don't have any classes this summer since I was rushed into the last semester, so I've been finishing up with my doctorate. Any free time I have, the blonde is pulling me into her bed to lay next to her, just so she doesn't have to be alone.

Emma asked me if I would go with her to the first ultrasound appointment and I agreed not wanting to leave her alone at a time like this. At least now she will have a valid confirmation on her pregnancy and also figure out how far along she is.

Now we are just sitting in the waiting room for her name to be called. Her thumb nail was securely locked between her teeth as she nibbles incisively. Her knee is bouncing uncontrollably, infuriating my nerves and driving me absolutely mad. I couldn't take the obnoxious bad habits anymore, so I swatted at her hand, knocking it from her mouth.

"Stop that!" I scolded.

"What?"

"Chewing on your thumbnail."

"Excuse me for being a little nervous."

"Be nervous, don't be annoying," I quipped right back.

"Emma Swan?" A young nurse called out from the doorway, instantly ceasing our bickering.

Everything around us fell silent, as the purpose of our visit was being brought to our attention once again. I reached over to squeeze some reassurance back into Emma's hand as we stood. I followed the two women into a small dark room. A giant television screen was on display in front of the medical bed. Then I spotted the ultrasound machine right next to the bed prompting my stomach to start doing cartwheels as reality kicked in.

"Miss Swan, have you ever had an ultrasound before?" The nurse asked gently as she sat down in front of the machine. Emma only shook her head in response. I sat down in a chair next to the bed, which I can only assume is usually for father's. "Okay well I'm going to walk you through everything so there's no surprises," the woman offered and again Emma only nodded. "Since this is the first ultrasound and the baby is so small we usually have to internally look. I'm going to gently slip this inside and we can get a better look at your baby. The next ultrasound appointment will be external, on top of your stomach, which I'm sure you're more familiar with. I'm going to need you to remove your pants," she handed Emma a paper looking sheet and continued, "place this over your lap and I'll be back in one minute. Would you like your friend to step out with me?"

"Um no it's fine. She can stay," Emma mumbled quietly, confirming how terrified she truly is.

The nurse nodded and stepped out of the dark room without another word spoken. Emma remained silent. Her nimble fingers trembled as she popped the button on her jeans. Slowly, her hips swayed back and forth in an attempt to help peel the skin-tight denim from her body.

She won't be wearing those for much longer.

Emma sat back down on the bed, covering herself up with the paper sheet she was offered by the nurse. I rolled my eyes when I realized my view was of her full bottom. I cocked my head to one side as my mind began to register that she has one nice looking as-

"All ready?" The nurse knocked tearing me away from my wandering thoughts.

"Yes," Emma confirmed as she shifted awkwardly on top of the bed.

"Go ahead and lay back."

The nurse sat down, pulling out a long white probe while I examined her every move curiously. To my surprise and clearly Emma's too by her facial expression, the nurse wrapped the probe in a condom before entering Emma beneath the paper sheet. My friend clenched her fist into a tight ball, inspiring my hand to reach out for her to hold, without hesitation she gripped my hand. Her palms were sweaty and clammy exposing how nervous she truly was.

We both watched the screen intently, waiting for the next part that would forever change both our lives.

"Okay, Miss Swan do you see the little bean shaped image on the screen? It's right here," the nurse used the cursor on the screen to draw a line across the baby, "this is your baby. I'm just going to measure it now and determine how far along you are."

My lip began to quiver, warm tears were slowly building in my eyes causing my vision to blur. It took everything in me to pry my eyes away from the screen to check on Emma. I should have prepared myself better.

Emma's bright green eyes were sparkling as they filled with unshed tears as well. Her lips were pressed firmly together as she tried to fight back a smile or a sob, I wasn't too sure.

I leaned over, my lips ghosting over her ear and whispered, "Are you okay?" She instantly sucked the corner of her lip between her teeth and nodded slowly.

"Okay you are all done. From the looks of it, you are around eight weeks. Congratulations," the nurse smiled politely and handed Emma the sonogram of her baby, then proceeded to leave the room.

The room was all too quiet as Emma stared at that picture, completely lost in a daze while she dressed. Her glossy green eyes never left that picture while the doctor spoke to her, or during the whole car ride home and even now, sitting at the kitchen table.

It's a good thing I paid close attention to the doctor's orders on what she should or shouldn't do and the things she should refrain from eating. I also retrieved her prenatal vitamins and set up her next appointment, while she was in a foggy haze from that sonogram photo.

"Em? You really haven't said much, are you okay? Anything you want to talk about?" I asked gently, because this past week I've been walking on eggshells not wanting to stress her out even more.

"I-I, this...this is my baby," she stammered incoherently.

I know she's physically here, but her mind is somewhere far away. I placed the hot cocoa down in front of her and claimed the seat next to her.

"You did that Emma. You created that life." She nodded as a fresh set of tears tumbled down her cheeks.

Just then Ruby and Belle burst through the front door, chatting away, full of positive energy. Hopefully their presence would be enough to lighten the gloomy mood lingering around us.

"You're back!" Ruby exclaimed as they both rushed to the table.

They each took their turn hugging Emma with care before taking a seat. Emma gradually slid the picture to the center of the table. I swear I saw her hesitate before she pulled her hand away from the picture. Ruby rapidly snatched the sonogram first, not able to contain her excitement.

"It's so tiny!" Ruby enthused with the biggest grin. She leaned over in her chair, so Belle could admire the baby as well.

"So adorable," Belle gushed while her index finger skimmed over the baby's outline.

"This just made it so much harder," Emma groaned, wiping away her tears furiously as if they were burning her flesh.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked placing her hand on top of Emma's for comfort.

The spunky brunette handed the picture back over to the mother to be. Emma didn't waste a second, pulling the image closer, so she could examine it all over again. Her eyes drifted over the baby with a heavy heart, forcing my heart to plummet to the pit of my stomach.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I was so set on adoption, but now I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. I want to keep my baby."

Both brunettes squealed with excitement, but I was silent. I know Emma is struggling with this and she has been so back and forth on the decision, that I can't really trust in her words right now.

"BUT," Emma interrupted their screams, "I don't know if I can. Between working full time and going for my masters in the fall, I just don't know."

"You know we will all help out in any way possible, right?" Belle questioned with her genuine sincerity lacing her words and filling in her eyes

"I know girls."

"Emma, you have plenty of time to think about this and what's best for the both of you. Take your time," I proposed which again she only nodded her response.

XXXXXXXXX

The following week Emma stayed held up in her bedroom with the black and white photo protectively at her side. She ate, which I was thankful for, but refused any of my dietary options that would be healthier for her and the baby. By the second week, she had emerged from her bedroom but lounged around the house, mostly setting up camp on the couch. Still, she continued with junk food and extra carbs to help her sorrow. By the third week, she was starting to act like the woman I remembered.

Now this past week, marks the twelve week point for Emma's pregnancy. She was now entering her second trimester and she was back to her old ways. She was even following some of my suggestions for eating better.

Emma was still back and forth on her decision but I'm trying my best to help her weigh her options and stay neutral to the situation. Even though I want her to keep this baby more than anything. I have spent every day with Emma since summer began and I'm starting to grow attached to the baby she is creating.

My eyelids were beginning to droop despite the fact that we haven't done much today but lay around and watch television. Emma reached between us for the remote. I was actually relieved she was going to turn off the television because I was starting to fall asleep. Instead, my friend took me by surprise and turned up the volume. I furrowed my eyebrows while turning my attention toward her.

Emma didn't say one word, but I could see the determination in her eyes as she gripped the headboard behind me. She leisurely lifted her right leg and swung it across my thighs. In response my eyebrow corked up, bewildered by her boldness to straddle my legs in such a daring way.

"Em-" she pressed her index finger against my lips, successfully shutting me up.

Her long finger dragged down my flesh, over my chin, traveling suggestively until both her hands were at the hem of her shirt. With her eyes locked onto mine, she lifted the material up and over her head, tossing it aimlessly onto the ground. My eyes widen when it finally registered that my best friend was sitting on my lap in just a red lace push up bra and matching thong.

My eyes scanned the gorgeous blonde before me, sending chills to run wildly across my flesh. Her chest was full and spilling over her bra, informing me that she has definitely gone up in size since the baby. My eyes drifted lower to her tight abdomen, no signs of the baby growing inside her just yet. I glanced back up, taking in her toned arms and wondering if she works out when I'm not around.

"My hormones are all over the place," she began in a deep, suggestive tone. "Since you didn't get the hint when I took off my pants an hour ago...I'm in desperate need for some kind of release," Emma stated firmly prompting my body to ignite with heat.

"Emma you have a lot going on, let's not add one more thing to the list. I don't want to ruin what we have," I pleaded desperately, hoping she would understand and not make this situation harder for me.

"What we have is unique and we didn't ruin it before when we kissed. So, I'm asking you to experiment for real this time."

"Em, I...I don't know," I stuttered, realizing I needed to gain back some control. "Can't you just take care of it yourself?"

"I have been and it's not satisfying," she quipped, causing me to swallow the dry lump that was rapidly forming in the back of my throat.

"Can't you find a random guy to sleep with?"

"First of all, because I'm pregnant I find that weird. Second of all, I want you," she demanded.

My entire body went limp as I swallowed hard. It took everything in me to suppress a whimper that was pleading to come out. The way my body was immediately reacting to hers was a dead giveaway that I did want this, more than anything, but I know just how wrong this is.

"I don't know what I'm doing? I've never been with a girl," I tried to inform her, but she wasn't having it. There's a longing look in her eyes and I'm fairly confident she's not even listening to me right now.

"I haven't either, that's why this is perfect. We will figure it out together. We can guide one another."

"Emma-"

"I'll go first if you want."

"You'll what?" I squawked. My voice cracked forcing my cheeks to burn crimson as I tried to keep up with this conversation.

"I'll go down on you first."

"Uhhh," I had no words. I was at a complete loss at her boldness and honesty about the situation.

"Well I'm not going to have you go down on me and then not repay the favor," she insisted. I stared at her blankly not knowing how to process this request. I was frozen in place, stunned by her captivating beauty. "We will go slow, we can start off by just kissing, we are both familiar with that with each other."

I took a deep breath and inspected her light pink lips as they enclosed the gap between us. I became lost in a trance and I couldn't take my eyes off them. The tip of her velvety tongue poked out to wet the soft flesh. Those delectable lips were slightly parted and glistening from her tongue. The moment they connected with mine, I melted into her touch.

It's almost impossible for me to ever deny Emma Swan anything. She has a way about her and I know she has a firm grip on my heart. I'm just not so sure if I can sleep with her and continue denying my feelings any longer.