Auhor's Note: *huggles* New chapter! Yay!
Sandstorms and Falling Leaves
Chapter 22: Gaara: Waking Hours
Gaara jolted awake, sitting up in her bed and searching her dimly lit room for any sign of danger. Finding none, she lay back down, glancing out the window before forcing her eyes to shut once more. 'Just three more hours until dawn.' She told herself wearily.
Naruto had been gone a little over a week and she had developed a nightly routine. Determined not to let her nightmares affect her health she would make herself go to sleep a little after midnight. Then she'd wake up in a cold sweat about an hour later. After a few minutes to calm her racing heart, she'd force herself to go back to sleep. The process would repeat until dawn when she'd finally allow herself to get up for the day.
The only problem with her new sleep schedule was the fact that she wasn't really getting much rest from it at all. If her sister's concerned glances, and Hinata's cautious suggestion for them to cut back on training for a while, were any indication, Gaara figured she must be well on her way to looking as bad as she did before the first night she spent with Naruto.
'And I have no idea how to fix it.' She admitted to herself tiredly, allowing aqua eyes to open in the darkness of her room.
She couldn't discuss the problem with either of her siblings. They both still felt too much undeserved guilt over the situation as it was. She didn't dare tell Hinata about her memories, it would be wrong to inflict that kind of horror on the gentle leaf chunin. None of her subordinates could know either, since she needed them to be confident in her.
She pondered the problem until she fell asleep again, jolting out of images of leering Akatsuki laughing at her as she screamed and looking to her window to gauge the time. 'Two more hours.' She decided, closing her eyes and letting the nightmares claim her once more.
Midmorning the next day found her waiting outside the Hokage's office. After several hours that morning trying to decide who to consult about her sleeping problem, Tsunade seemed like the only logical choice. The woman was familiar with nearly the whole situation already, and she wasn't as emotionally invested in it as most of the other candidates.
Shizune had taken one sharp eyed look at the pale redhead and offered her a chair before going to alert the Hokage of her visitor.
After about ten minutes the dark haired woman opened the office door and bowed respectfully. "Kazekage, the Hokage will see you now."
Gaara nodded to the woman as she passed, waiting until the office doors had been pulled closed behind the Hokage's personal assistant before she moved towards the desk and the buxom blonde behind it.
Tsunade set her paperwork aside and studied the petite young woman for a few seconds. "You look terrible." She said bluntly.
Gaara wasn't overly surprised to hear it but it did make her wonder how the older woman made it through diplomatic meetings.
"Let me guess, you're not sleeping again, ne?"
The redhead nodded stiffly, squashing her pride to admit even that much.
"You ready to talk about it?"
Her only answer was another sharp nod.
The taller woman stood and moved from behind her desk with a sigh. "What am I gonna do with you..." She muttered, gesturing for the ex-jinchuriki to sit on the couch she kept for naps when Shizune wasn't watching.
Gaara sat, her hands clenched at her sides the only outward sign of the turmoil she was feeling. Now that she had committed to talking to the older woman about her nightmares, she honestly wasn't sure she could get the words out.
Fortunately, Tsunade seemed to sense her discomfort as she took time to perform a simple medical scan instead of pressing the teen to start talking right away.
"Well, you seem to be doing better than you were the last time I checked you, but there are definite signs of sleep deprivation beginning to show." The med-nin announced as she finished.
"I have nightmares." The redhead finally forced the words out determinedly.
Tsunade nodded encouragingly.
"I remember everything...about the Akatsuki ritual." She didn't go into details as she had with Naruto. Some things were too painful to share a second time.
Brown eyes widened at the implications of that quiet admission.
"I wake up every hour and sometimes it takes a long time to get back to sleep. I haven't slept through the night since..." She found herself blushing.
"Since Naruto left." Tsunade finished, rescuing the younger girl from the embarrassing words.
A deepening of the pink tint in the younger girl's cheek was confirmation enough for the older woman.
"I didn't think about your situation when I gave him that mission." The older woman frowned.
"It's fine." The redhead insisted.
The med-nin started to say something else but the younger girl cut her off.
"I need to learn to sleep on my own."
Tsunade nodded slowly. "Okay...what have you tried?"
Gaara's smooth features slipped into a frown and she had to bite back a sigh. "Everything." She said grimly. "That's why I came to you."
Tsunade let out the sigh the redhead wouldn't allow, she eyed the younger girl thoughtfully for a moment before slapping her knee suddenly and rising to her feet. She walked over to a blank stretch of her office wall and performed a complicated set of hand signs before laying her hand on a nearly imperceptible divot in the smooth plaster. The beige wall seemed to dissolve beneath her fingers until she stood facing a narrow hallway.
"Come on." She called, not bothering to look back to see if the younger kage was following.
Gaara hesitated only a moment before moving into the narrow corridor. She had come to the older woman for help. That meant she was going to have to trust her.
A few moments later, they emerged into a cluttered private office, obviously not intended for visiting heads of state to ever see. Piles of scrolls and books littered the desk's surface along with hand scrawled notes on various topics.
The blonde gestured for the redhead to sit. It took a few moments but Gaara managed to uncover a wooden chair under a pile of old mission reports. Taking her seat, she watched the taller woman search through a wall of books behind her desk for several minutes. Finally, the buxom hokage seemed to find what she was looking for.
Tsunade pulled a heavy volume from the shelf and held it out to the waiting redhead. "These are all the studies I've compiled on sleep and sleep disorders." She explained simply.
Gaara took the proffered book in both hands and looked it over curiously. It appeared to be written in the Hokage's own hand writing and had loose pages stuck in where the older woman had run out of room to get her thoughts down on various topics.
"Look it over and come back to me if you find anything that sounds promising to you or if you have any questions." The older woman had decided to let the petite teen do her own research rather than trying to pull more information from her. It would allow the redhead to feel she was doing something about the problem for herself which would be easier on the girl's pride. It would also allow Tsunade time to try to come up with another option in case nothing in the heavy tome worked. "I'll let you know if I think of anything else."
Gaara nodded and stood. "Thank you." She offered stiffly.
Tsunade waved off the courtesy as unnecessary before standing herself and leading the way back down the narrow hallway to her public office. Once there she showed the worn looking ex-jinchuriki out, closed off the secret passage to her study, and then flopped into her desk chair with a sigh.
'That kid just can't catch a break.' She thought with a small frown as she considered all the odds against the displaced Kazekage. Still, adversity had made the petite redhead strong before her kidnapping. The blonde had no doubt that the girl could overcome the new odds with the same determination. 'She actually sort of reminds me of Naruto that way. Neither of them knows how to give up when it's hopeless.' The comparison brought a grin to the blonde's face as she shook off her musings and go back to work.
Gaara took the large tome back to her apartment, heading straight to her room and laying the heavy volume on her desk before opening it.
'Sleepwalking...sleep talking...sleep apnea...snoring...' She skimmed the first few pages, deciding they did not apply to her situation but she hesitated on the section for insomnia. 'No.' She decided after considering the topic for a minute. 'It isn't that I'm not tired or can't go to sleep. I just can't stay asleep for long.'
She continued to page through the book for several more minutes, dismissing topics that didn't apply to her and reading over the few she thought might be pertinent. Still, she found nothing helpful.
'Night terrors?' She read the title of the section hopefully. Her dreams were certainly terrifying. She read over the notes with interest but shook her head as more and more features did not line up with her problem. 'No.'
Moving on, she skimmed through several more topics before coming across a large section titled, Chronic Nightmares. That looked promising. The petite redhead began to read over the text but her eyelids were feeling heavy and she soon found herself nodding off.
She shook her head to clear it and rubbed her eyes wearily. She just wanted to read the first few pages on that subject before she stopped.
Temari peeked into her younger sister's room to see if the redhead wanted any lunch. The sight in front of her made a small smile spread over the wind user's face. Gaara was fast asleep with her head propped on one hand and her elbow on her desk next to a large book.
The blonde didn't want to wake the sleeping girl so she started to pull the door closed silently. A small noise from Gaara made her pause. She looked back over at the snoozing teenager, thinking she might have woken up but the redhead was still clearly asleep. Temari frowned, something had changed; where her sister's features had been smooth in sleep, now they were tight in distress. The redhead's mouth moved but no sound came out save for small moans that might have been words but were too low to make out.
"Gaara." Temari called out, moving into the room as she spoke. "Wake up, Sis. You're dreaming."
The redhead seemed not to hear her, deep in the throes of her nightmare. The older girl stood frozen in indecision as she watched the redhead struggle with foes that were only present in her mind.
Suddenly, Gaara shot upright with a strangled noise that might have been a scream if she had let it out. She banged her shin hard on the desk as she nearly fell from her chair in her hurry to escape the terrors in her dreams. The pain actually seemed to help her clear her mind as she looked around warily.
She spotted the still frozen blonde and frowned, clearly not happy to have company.
"I was...just going to ask if you wanted lunch." Temari explained, choosing not to address the scene she had just witnessed.
"I..." The redhead cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm not hungry."
"Oh...okay." The elder girl nodded and hurried from the room, trying to save her baby sister's pride and honestly unsure what else she could do. Gaara had made it clear that she didn't want to share the burden of her nightmares with her family. That was a dubious honor reserved for Naruto.
Gaara took a few moments to compose herself before standing and leaving the apartment through her window to avoid confronting her sister. She took to the rooftops and headed for the cliffs above the village. The fresh air often helped to clear the last remnants of her dreams from her mind.
Only when she stood poised on top of the massive stone faces of Konoha's leaders did she stop and try to relax. Looking out over the village and beyond to the forest, she found her thoughts wandering to Naruto.
'Where are you now?' She wondered, watching the horizon as if she could see the yellow haired teen if she just looked hard enough.
To Be Continued...
Author's Note: It isn't super long but it is a new chapter and I hope you all like it. The next chapter is about Naruto. After some suggestions from reviewers I have decided to try and alternate chapters between our heroes until they are back together. Naruto's chapters will likely be a bit short because I don't want to give away everything he's up to but I do think you should see some of what he's thinking while he's away.