Another regular boring day at college passed. But what awaited Rose at home was not regular or boring. If only she where that lucky.

Rose and Lissa got home before Eddie and Chris, who had decided to get Chinese take out for dinner. When Rose opened the door to the apartment she was immediately hit with the smell. It was unmistakeable. Alcohol. High proof. Mixed with sweat.

The apartment was dark despite someone always leaving a light on in the living room. For a second, Rose thought something had happened. She flipped the switch and was relieved to find Dimitri on the sofa. She assumed he was asleep but he wasn't moving and his head was in a funny angle.

"Is he dead?" Lissa whispered.

"Of course not", Rose prayed her answer wasn't a lie.

Then Dimitri let out a loud snore and once again, Rose was flooded with relief.

As it turned out, Rose and Lissa came home to a passed out Dimitri. He was lying on his stomach with his face half smushed against the cushion half hanging off the couch, an empty bottle of vodka in his hand resting on the floor.

Rose nudged Dimitri's shoulder. Once. Twice. All that was accomplished was that he let out another snore.

"What happened?" Lissa wondered aloud.

"I have no idea", Rose answered.

"Did he say anything this morning when you guys changed shifts?", the blond asked.

Rose thought back to that morning. She hadn't even noticed if Dimitri was being weird. "No. But if he drank all that", Rose motioned to the empty bottle, "he's not getting up any time soon".

Lissa scrunched her nose. "I'm opening a window". When she got back, she asked, "Should we try to move him to his bed?"

Just then, the guys showed up with the Chinese food. Rose really wished that hadn't happened. She hoped neither Eddie nor Chris would see a man they idealized like this. Too late now.

Lissa filled them in on the situation, though there wasn't much to tell.

Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. "He's in no shape to guard. We need to cover his shift", she informed Eddie, who nodded in agreement. "You can run the security checks Dimitri usually does at the beginning of his shift and stay on alert till 1AM. I'll take the rest of his shift and run the checks he does in the morning".

Even though Eddie was Christian's guardian and Dimitri was Rose's guarding partner, the three of them worked as a team, a single unit. Eddie agreed without a second thought.

"Eddie, wanna give me a hand and get him to bed?" Rose asked.

They discussed how to carry Dimitri's enormous frame when he suddenly let out a grunt and sat up. The bottle, previously in his hand, rolled away on the floor. Dimitri squinted at the four staring at him. He licked his lips and swallowed. "What time is it?" He looked around the room, trying to figure out where he was.

"It's almost time for you to start your shift", Eddie answered.

Dimitri's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. Give me a minute to get ready", he mumbled incoherently and scrambled to his feet. But he was in no shape to stand, let alone guard, and he fell back down to the sofa.

"It's fine, we'll cover your shift", Eddie offered.

Dimitri nodded as he stared blankly.

"Why don't you guys go start eating", Rose said to Eddie, Lissa and Christian, "and I'll help Dimitri to his room". As the three left for the kitchen Rose called out to them "Do not touch my kung pow chicken!"

She looked back at Dimitri who was on the verge of unconsciousness again. "Oh, comrade. what happened to you?" Rose wasn't really asking him and Dimitri wasn't really paying attention. "Come on", she gently pulled him to his feet by the hand. When he swayed Rose placed his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist. She started urging him forward. He stumbled and held on to Rose for dear life.

"Comrade", Rose huffed, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you reek".

"Sorry", was all he could offer in return.

It was the stench of the vodka and the alcohol sweats.

Rose dragged him along. "God, you weigh a ton", she groaned. When he fell forward Rose stepped in front of him to catch him. Unfortunately he steadied himself with a grip in her breast. As soon as he was fully upright he removed his hand so fast you'd think her tit was on fire.

"Sorry".

The continued their treacherous journey without fail. In his bedroom Rose sat Dimitri on the bed, but he didn't quite release his grip on her and pulled her into his lap.

For moment Dimitri seemed to sober up. He didn't seem so far away anymore, his eyes became focused on hers. He cupped Rose's cheek and ran his thumb over her lip.

Rose place a hand on his, moving his thumb from her lip. She used his moment of near-clarity to ask, "What happened today?", she dropped her hand.

"Today is a bad day", he answered with a pained expression, eyes misty. He ran his hand to the back of her neck. Dimitri pressed his forehead to her shoulder and inhaled deeply. He pulled her closer. He skimmed his nose across Rose's collar bone until he finally found purchase in the crook of her neck.

And Rose let him. She knew without a doubt Dimitri was seeking comfort. She just didn't know for what. But the way he held her, tight yet gentle, caused a spike in Rose's heart rate. She ran a soothing hand through his sticky hair. After a few moments, Dimitri's breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Rose pried him gently from her body and laid him down. She then noticed a picture frame turn right side down on his night stand. Rose hand been in Dimitri's room several time, this was the first she'd seen it.

Rose lifted frame and studied the picture. She recognized a young Dimitri immediately. Dimitri stood half a foot taller than the young man in the photo with him. They were both smiling goofily, arms crossed over their chests, leaning shoulder to shoulder. It looked like a graduation photo. That's when she realized the young man was Ivan. He had the unmistakeable blond hair and blue eyes of a Zeklos. More than that Rose figured today was probably the anniversary of his death, or another date equally as significant to Dimitri. Her heart filled with ache. She couldn't imagine the pain losing Ivan still caused him. For now, Rose let him rest.

Hours later, when everyone was asleep, Rose entered Dimitri room with a piping cup of coffee. He laid on his back, feet dangling off the bed, hair matted to his forehead. She placed and mug on his nightstand and pushed his hair away from his face. She squeezed his arm. "Dimitri, you need to wake up". She was answered with a grunt, so she tried again. "Come on Comrade, you need to get up, otherwise you won't be able to get through your next shift either". This time she shook him a little aggressively.

Rose was about to try again, her hands on his shoulders, when Dimitri caught both of her wrists. She gasped and was taken by surprise as Dimitri to yanked her to the bed. That's how she found herself pinned under him with her arms held over her head.

"You were unprepared", Dimitri muttered. Always the mentor. "Always be prepared".

Rose rolled her eyes, she wasn't a boy scout, for crying out loud. "I am prepared. AND I knew you wouldn't hurt me", she answered defiantly. "Plus, I didn't want to hurt you. You were so drunk I didn't know how your reflexes would be if I tried to stop you". It wasn't a total lie. And it's not like Rose had any real issue being pinned under Dimitri. In his bed. The only downside was the smell, really, since Dimitri hadn't showered yet.

It was then Dimitri seemed to noticed their predicament as well and pulled himself off of Rose. He sat at the very edge of his bed with his back to her. Dimitri ran his hands roughly through his hair. "I'm sorry Rose".

Rose, who was still a little rattle at their previous closeness, took a moment before she sat.

"How long have I been out?" Dimitri asked.

"That depends on when you blacked out on the couch", Rose answered. "We got home after school and found you passed out in the living room. After that, I put you to bed. That was 5 hours ago. Do you even remember waking up and me practically carrying you bed?"

Dimitri shook his head and wouldn't make eye contact. He pressed his palms together, nervous habit. "Did I," he cleared his throat. "Did I do or say anything inappropriate?"

Ignoring for a moment the whole hand on the boob incident, which was completely forgivable, Rose asked, "Other than get drunk before a shift?" She was annoyed and she figured the time for kid gloves had passed. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, Rose".

When Dimitri didn't offer any more details, Rose decided to let it go. It hurt that he wasn't as willing to share with her as she was with him, but he was entitled to keep some things to himself.

She got off the bed. "Drink your coffee, go shower and change. Then if you're up for it, come finish your shift", so I can get at least a few hours of sleep before classes, she wanted to add, but she held her tongue as she walked out of his room.

Fifteen minutes later, a freshly showered and shaved Dimitri joined Rose in the living room, smelling all kinds of good. As soon as the smell, that Dimitri scent she loved so, hit Rose she thought, Oh my.

"May I sit?" Dimitri motioned to the couch, beside Rose.

Rose was taken aback by his politeness. Not that he wasn't polite, he just never had to ask if he could sit with her. She nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Roza. I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I shouldn't have left you and Lissa and everyone vulnerable. I shouldn't have put you in this position. I'm sorry", he repeated.

Rose nodded again. "Are you alright now?"

Dimitri still wasn't making eye contact and he returned to his nervous habit of rubbings palms together. "I'll be fine".

"I've never seen you like that", Rose said.

"What did I do?" he asked appalled.

"It's not what you did, Dimitri. It's how broken you were", Rose took a deep breath. "You weren't drinking for kicks. You were obviously drinking because you're in pain". Rose ran her hand through her hair. "I get that you don't want to tell me what going on with you, but we're partners. How am I supposed to trust that you're well enough to have my back? To have Lissa's back?"

If it was possible, Dimitri looked even more horrified. He didn't think it was possible that he'd do something so bad that it would break Rose's trust. He finally made eye contact. "This was a one time thing. I won't be drinking again any time soon. Ever. Just, please", Dimitri stared into Rose's eyes and took her hand in his, "Please, I can't lose you".

Rose glanced at their joined hands.

"I mean, I can't lose your trust", Dimitri correct. But Rose suspected he really meant her. He went back to staring at the floor but didn't release her hand.

"Is this about Ivan?" Rose asked, just about a whisper.

Dimitri's eyes shot back to Rose's with shock that quickly made way for surrender. He wondered how she always seemed to just know. The truth was, that out of anyone that was ever in Dimitri's life, Rose was the only one who truly knew him, who truly got him. "He died 4 years ago today". When Rose didn't add anything, he continued. "It just started out with one shot of Ivan't favorite vodka. Well, 2 shots", he smiled sadly, "one for him, one for me. I guess it kind of spiraled after that. I didn't even notice I drank so much."

Rose filled with empathy. She'd probably drink herself into a stupor as well if anything happened to Lissa. She looked at Dimitri puzzled. "Did you drink the whole bottle?"

Dimitri nodded, looking more and more ashamed.

"How are you even functioning right now?!" Rose didn't have the slightest idea how Dimitri wasn't completely hung over, head stuck in the toilet, wishing for god to make it stop.

He just shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess I slept it off".

"That is so not fair. The punishment for drinking like an idiot is the massive hangover!" Rose chuckled. Dimitri did as well, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. She knew he was probably in his own personal hell right now, one of his own making. He neglected his sense of honor and his duty. He fell from grace and Rose couldn't do a thing about it.

"I just-". He cut himself off, not sure if he should admit it or not. In the end, he decided to let Rose in. "I feel like I'm forgetting him. He's gone and I'm still here. I'm alive, I have my family, my career, you". Dimitri immediately added "my guarding partner", he pressed his lips together. "I've moved on without him and I feel like I'm losing him a little more every day".

Rose bit the inside of her cheek, trying desperately to come up with a way to make him feel better, even though by all rights, after the shit he pulled, she should have let him wallow. "Tell me about Ivan", was the idea that came to mind.

"What?"

"Tell me one thing about Ivan. Something small, something insignificant, some anecdote".

It took Dimitri a while to answer. To Rose it felt like forever, like she was going to lose him to despair soon if he didn't answer.

Dimitri cleared his throat. "When we were fifteen, I can back to the academy from a long weekend at home, with a box of cookies I had made with my mother", he looked so far away. "I gave Ivan a taste. He loved them so much he finished the entire box before he realized there was honey in them", Dimitri looked to Rose, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Ivan was allergic to honey. Not deathly allergic, but enough that a rash broke out all over his body. He had to spend an entire day in the infirmary, and it was a few more days before his skin cleared up. He was so red he looked like a tomato. Kids called him Ivan the Red for the rest of the school year. He'd tried correcting them, saying the name was Ivan the Dread", by now Dimitri was chuckling.

"See?" Rose asked. "You're not forgetting. You're not losing him, but it does hurt less and that's okay. That's how it's supposed to be. We mourn our dead and carry them with us always. But we hear and we don't let it stop us from living".

Dimitri blinked at her in awe. "Thank you, Roza". He turned his head so she wouldn't see the tear that slid down his cheek. He wiped it with the back of his hand then turned back to her.

Rose could see his expression was no longer pained or tortured. He was at peace. Somehow despite everything, she brought him peace. "Your welcome, Dimitri".

Rose finally dragged herself to bed, elated not only that Dimitri opened up to her but also that she was able to make it better. She wondered when she should tell him he accidentally copped a feel…