Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I seriously hate the lack of time I have atm, work keep springing more stuff on me to do and it means I have less and less spare moments at work where I can actually work on this, which I guess is the point of work, you have to be doing something. Anyhoo I really am updating this at every possible opportunity and I'm hoping this chapter will come as a nice surprise to you all and a sort of valentines present as it were hehe. I tried so hard to think of a way to incorporate Valentine's Day into this story but it just didn't seem like the right time considering Hanna is still making her decision.

Many of you asked me not to draw this story to a close just yet, so I've had to go with a storyline which I know is seriously over used but I'm actually going to twist it :) although I can guarantee it's a twist you're not going to like, which will also stop the course of true love running smooth, but those are my favourite kinds of stories.

I wonder how many of you actually bother reading my inner thoughts and drivel. Anyhoo on with the show.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 21

Realization

"I mean having a baby really puts a strain on a relationship don't you think? What with my hormones and everything, it's a wonder Brad and I haven't torn each other to pieces by now," Olivia was telling Hanna. She was the mother of one of Harry's friends, not that Hanna remembered which one now, nor was she really listening. Every spare thought was taken up by Caleb, the good times, the bad times, the funny times and that ever looming decision hanging over her head. She'd struggled to continue with her work of late too. She had been asked to create a dress for the natural nature fashion line which vogue were releasing in the spring, and though Hanna tried no idea sprung out at her, then one night while yet again she lay wide awake, thinking as usual, the idea hit her like a ton of bricks. She got up and immediately went down to her office and began to sketch, by morning she had created a long flowing dress which draped over the breasts and hung back behind as though the wearer were wrapped in a sheet, except this sheet was a rustic green. The only way to describe it plainly was, tent like. Though no one else understood the significance Hanna had quietly thanked Caleb, though only to herself, when the fashion director had raved about the dress none stop.

"I mean women rave about how wonderful motherhood is, they always forget about the morning sickness and constant nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach all the time," Olivia went on. Speaking of nausea, that was another thing Hanna had developed a lot of recently, although she chalked it up as being a consequence of not eating regularly. The stress of work and constant thinking about Caleb, Harry and their future was enough to put her off of the odd meal, but actually being sick with worry wasn't something Hanna had experienced before, she had thought that was just a saying.
Even when she managed to make herself eat she would eat junk, all fat and sugary foods.

"Maybe I shouldn't have Brad run out and get me sweet things at all times of the night just because I'm craving them," Olivia told her. Hanna nodded slightly. Craving, that was it. She didn't necessarily want to eat all that junk, she just felt as though she seriously needed to.

"What did you crave when you were pregnant with Harry?" Olivia asked, Hanna bit her lip in thought,
"Oh you know those strawberry flavoured fizzy liquorish things?" Hanna asked her, Olivia nodded and began listing all of the things she was craving with this pregnancy and what she had craved with her previous two children.
Actually, Hanna had been eating a lot of those liquorish things recently, 2 packets a day in fact and she'd had the sickness feeling as well as being sick.

Math had never been Hanna's strong point but she began calculating in her head. She'd had to stop taking the contraceptive pill a few months ago to avoid it being effected by the antibiotics her doctor had given her when she had last visited him, and she hadn't began taking it again afterwards. Her last period had been just a few weeks before Harry's birthday, which meant her period should have been 3 or 4 weeks ago.
But that meant,
"Are you okay Hanna?" Olivia asked,
"You've gone a little pale."
"Oh crap," Hanna muttered.