Let's Kill Hitler Pt. 1
August 26th, 2011
Amy and Rory visited and left while Amelia was still asleep, which I was glad for. I didn't want to flaunt that I still had my child while their's was taken. Jack came home around five to find Lia in her play pin on the floor next to the couch while I was watching a documentary on crop circles.
"Crop circles?" Jack asked coming and sitting next to me on the couch.
"Yeah." I said. "Amy and Rory stopped by and asked what was the quickest way of contacting the Doctor. He wasn't picking up his phone. So, I suggested crop circles."
"Yes, but why crop circles?"
I smirked. "Because, won't a crop circle that spelled Doctor in Leadworth catch The Doctor's attention?"
Jack laughed. "It works, doesn't it."
"Yep. Anyway. If we want to go with them, we have to be there."
"Susan, our daughter is only more than three months old. We can't take her with us."
"We can leave her with Sarah Jane." I insisted. Then I smirked. "If I remember correctly, this was one of my favorite episodes."
"Oh no." Jack groaned and dropped his head into his hands.
August 27th, 2011
After dropping Amelia off at Sarah Janes for the day, we used my vortex manipulator and landed in the middle of the crop circle in Leadworth. We could hear Amy and Rory's car making the crop circle.
"Hm. Leadworth crop circle. I wonder what the teams back in Torchwood will make of this." Jack said.
"They'll just think someone was trying to contact The Doctor." I said as the Tardis came into view. "They would be right."
Then out of the crops came Amy and Rory's car. "Stop. Stop!" Amy yelled from inside the car and Rory slammed on the breaks, Jack pulling me out of the way before the car stopped short of the Tardis.
"You almost ran my wife over!" Jack huffed as Amy and Rory got out of the car.
"Sorry." Rory said, wincing.
The Doctor comes out, holding a copy of the Leadworth Chronicle with the headline Leadworth's Crop Circle. "Seriously?" The Doctor asks, holding the newspaper up to them. Then he turns to me. "Susan, did you give them this idea?"
"Busted." Jack whispered in my ear as I shrugged.
"Well, you never answer your phone." Rory said. "And yes, it was her idea." Rory said, throwing me under the bus. I glared at Rory playfully.
"Okay, you've had all summer. Have you found her? Have you found Melody?" Amy asked The Doctor.
The Doctor looked to Rory. "Permission?"
"Granted."
The Doctor gives the newspaper to Rory and hugs Amy. "You know who she grows up to be, so you know I will find her."
"But you haven't yet."
"Hang on. What's this bit?" Rory asked. There is a line through the middle of their crop design in the photograph.
"That wasn't us." Amy said, puzzled.
Another car is driving towards us through the corn. We all yelled and dove for safety as the Chevrolet Corvette skids to a halt by the Tardis. A young woman gets out. "You said he was funny. You never said he was hot."
"Mels!" Rory scolded.
"What are you doing here?" Amy asked.
Mels rolled her eyes "Following you. What do you think?"
Rory walked slowly to Mels car. "Er, where did you get the car?" Now we could hear Police sirens in the distance.
"It's mine." Mels paused. "Ish."
Amy sighed. "Oh, Mels, not again."
"You can't keep doing this." Rory said, exasperated. "You're going to end up in prison."
"Sorry. Hello. Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. You never said I was hot?"
Mels ignored him. "Is that the phone box? The bigger on the inside phone box? Oh, time travel. That's just brilliant. Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. I'm their best mate." Mels said, leaning against the side of the Tardis.
"Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were a bit shy."
"I don't do weddings."
The sirens get closer.
Mels sighed. "And that's me out of time." Mels pulls a gun on the Doctor.
"Mels!" Amy yelled.
"For God's sake!"
"What are you doing?" Jack asked.
"I need out of here, now."
We could also hear a helicopter coming as well.
Panicked, the Doctor said, "Anywhere in particular?"
"Well, let's see. You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell. Let's kill Hitler."
The Tardis is out of control. Jack is holding onto me with one arm and the other onto the Tardis controls. Sparks are flying everywhere. "You've shot it! You shot my Tardis! You shot the console!" The Doctor yelled at Mels.
"It's your fault!" Mels spat.
"Argh! How's it my fault?"
"You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace."
"That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie."
Jack and I shared an exasperated look.
After the Tardis crash landed, Jack helped me up off the floor and we all ran to the doors of the Tardis, desperate to get out of the smoke, coughing as we went.
"Out, out, out! Everybody out. Don't breathe the smoke, just get out!" The Doctor yells.
"Where are we?" Amy asked.
"A room." The Doctor answered.
"What room?" Rory asked.
"I don't know what room. I haven't memorised every room in the universe yet. I had yesterday off. Mels, don't go in there."
The Doctor takes Mels' gun away.
"Oi!" Mels growled.
"Bad smoke. Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke. Bad, deadly smoke because somebody shot my Tardis!"
"Jack?" I asked my husband as he stared at the red flags that he just noticed on the wall.
"Please tell me we are not where I think we are." Jack said, grabbing my hand and squeezed it.
Rory has gone to Zimmerman. "Doctor. This guy, I think he's hurt."
I winced. "Sorry, I can't say that."
Jack sighed. "Out of all the places-"
"No, hang on. No, he's fine." Rory said.
The Doctor puts the gun in a fruit bowl. It's owner gets up from behind his desk.
"Ooo, hello. Sorry, is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my vehicle. Faults on both sides, let's say no more about-" The Doctor stopped once he realized who he was talking to. "It."
Jack pushed me behind him. "This is your idea of favorite episode?" Jack hissed.
Amy stared at Hitler in shock, "Is that? No, it can't be, Doctor?"
"Thank you, whoever you are. I think you have just saved my life." Hitler said.
"Believe me, it was an accident." The Doctor said, stunned.
Hitler walked over to the Tardis. "What is this thing?"
"What did he mean, we saved his life? We could not have just saved Hitler." Amy said, panicking.
"You see? You see? Time travel, it never goes to plan." The Doctor said.
Hitler turned back to us. "This box. What is it?"
The Doctor smirked. "It's a police telephone box from London, England. That's right, Adolf. The British are coming."
Zimmerman stands up.
"No, stop him!" Hitler yells. The Doctor ducks as Hitler shoots at Zimmerman. At the sound of gunfire, Jack covered me and pulled me down next to the couch.
Rory punches Hitler and grabs his gun. "Sit still, shut up."
Amy goes to Zimmerman. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine. I think he missed." Zimmerman says.
"He was going to kill me!" Hitler yells.
"Shut up, Hitler!" Rory snaps as Jack and I stood back up.
"Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there. Now do it." The Doctor said.
"Right." Rory said, looking peterfed. "Putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. Come on."
I giggled as Rory went to put Hitler in the cupboard. "This is why it is my favorite episode." I said to Jack who rolled his eyes.
"But I am the Fuhrer!" Hitler roars with fury at the situation.
"Right, in you go!" Rory said as he pushed Hitler into the cupboard.
"Who are you?" Rory shuts Hitler in a large cupboard lined with shelves.
"Are you okay?" The Doctor asked Zimmerman.
I walked over to stand next to The Doctor and looked at Zimmerman and said, "Of course you are. Your a Teselecta."
"Oh I-" And Zimmerman fainted.
"I think he just fainted." Rory said.
"Yes, that was a faint. A perfect faint." The Doctor said. Then he turned to me. "What did you mean, Teselecta?"
"Mels?" Amy asked. I sighed. I forgot about Mels.
"Hitler" Mels said.
"What about him?" Jack asked.
"Lousy shot." Mels collapses, clutching her side.
"Mels! Mels!" Amy yelled, rushing over to Mels, the rest of us not far behind.
"Rory!" The Doctor said, panicking.
"No, no, no, no! I've got to stop the bleeding." Rory said.
"How bad is it? Rory, what can we do?" Amy asked.
"Just keep her conscious. Stay with us, Mels." Rory commanded Mels as he put pressure on Mels wound.
"Hey, look at me. Just hold on." The Doctor said.
"I used to dream about you. All those stories Amy used to tell me." Mels said.
"What stories? Tell me what stories. Vampires in Venice. That's a belter." The Doctor said.
"When I was little, I was going to marry you." Mels said. I couldn't help a small laugh. Amy glared at me then went back to watching Mels.
"Good idea, let's get married. You stay alive and I'll marry you, deal? Deal?"
"Shouldn't you ask my parents permission?"
"As soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone."
Mels snorts. "Might as well do it now, since they're both right here. Penny in the air. Penny drops." Mels begins to regenerate.
"No." Jack said, looking at me. "No way. She's her?"
"What the hell's going on?" Rory asked.
"Back! Back! Back! Get back!" The Doctor said, pulling Rory and Amy back with him while Jack and I backed off.
Mels stood up. "Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler in the middle of New York."
"Okay, Doctor, explain what is happening, please." Amy asked.
"Mels. Short for-"
Mels nodded. "Melody."
"Yeah. I named my daughter after her." Amy said.
"You named your daughter after your daughter." The Doctor stated.
"It took me years to find you two. I'm so glad I did. And you see? It all worked out in the end, didn't it. You got to raise me after all."
"You're Melody?" Amy asked, bewildered and in shock.
"But if she's Melody, that means that she's also-" Rory started.
"Shut up, Dad. I'm focusing on a dress size!" Mels screamed and regenerated into River. By now The Doctor, Rory, Amy, Jack and I were all by Hitler's desk, staring at her in shock. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then. Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh, the hair. It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of mature." She strikes a Mrs Robinson pose. "Hello, Benjamin." River smirked.
"Who's Benjamin?" The Doctor asked.
"The teeth. The teeth, the teeth! Oh, look at them." River pins the Doctor against Hitler's desk. "Watch out that bow tie. Excuse me, you lot. I need to weigh myself." She runs off into a side room.
"That's Melody." Amy said, shocked.
"That's River Song." Rory added.
River pokes her head back into the room. "Who's River Song?"
"Spoilers." The Doctor said.
"Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check." River said, ducking back into the small room.
"Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head." Rory asked.
"Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard." Amy replied.
"That's not helping." Rory said.
I burst out laughing and everyone glared at me. "What? That was funny."
"This isn't the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. Doesn't even know her own name." The Doctor said.
"Oh, that's magnificent!" We heard River yell. Then she came back into the room and placed one hand on the doorframe while the other was on her hip. River smiled. "I'm going to wear lots of jodhpurs."
"Well, now, enough of all that. Down to business." River said, taking Hitler's handgun and her hand gung out from behind her and pointed one at The Doctor and the other at me.
"Oh, hello. I thought we were getting married." The Doctor said.
River rolled her eyes. "I told you I'm not a wedding person."
"Susan, why does she have a gun pointed at you?" Jack asked. I walked foward to stand next to The Doctor. "Susan!"
"Doctor, what's she doing?" Rory asked.
"What she's programmed to." The Doctor said.
"Where'd she get the guns?"
"Hello, Benjamin." The Doctor said.
"You noticed." River said. She tries to fire both guns, but the chambers are empty.
"Of course I noticed. As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit."
River smirked. "I know you did." River turned to me. "Don't worry, darling, your next." Then she turned back to The Doctor.
"I know you know." The Doctor said to River. He turns the bowl and she points a banana at him instead.
River sighed. "Goodness, is killing you two going to take all day?"
"Why? Are you busy?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm not complaining." She grabs a letter opener and The Doctor sonicks it away.
"If you were in a hurry, you could've killed us in the cornfield." The Doctor said.
"We'd only just met. I'm a psychopath. I'm not rude." River said. She grabs Zimmerman's automatic, but the Doctor has the clip.
"You are not a psychopath." Amy said, walking up to River. " Why would she be a psychopath?"
"Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill Susan and The Doctor. The problem is Korvarian didn't tell me who to kill first. I'd figured I'd go with the hottest one."
"Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath." The Doctor said.
"I'm all yours, sweetie, Susan." She kisses him lightly. Then before I could stop her, or pull away, she kissed me lightly on my cheek. I sighed at the contact, knowing what was about to happen.
"Only River Song gets to call me that." The Doctor said.
"And who's River Song?" River asked.
The Doctor hesitated. "An old friend of mine."
River shrugged. "Stupid name. Oh, look at that." River said looking out the open window. "Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, don't follow me. And, yes, that is a warning."
"No warning for us then?" The Doctor asked.
"No need, my love. The deed is done and so are both of you."
I staggered into Jack and clutched his arm to keep myself upright as River's poison did it's work.
"Doctor, what's wrong?"
"Susan!" Jack said, helping keep me up right.
"What have you done? River!" The Doctor asked.
"Oh, River, River, River. More than a friend, I think." River said.
"What have you done?" The Doctor asked.
"It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor. The man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruellest. Kiss, kiss." River blows us each a kiss and jumps out of the broken window.
A/N:
Followers:
frugglewump
Reviewer:
alwaystherereading: I agree. This chapter probably answers your questions. :)