I can't apologise enough for how long it has taken me to get this chapter uploaded. So 3 things first;
Excuses
It's a lame excuse but I'm always working. I've been working more days during the week and it's been busy so I've struggled to find time to write when sitting at my desk. The spare time I do have is spent with my family, friends and boyfriend. I have to prioritise time with them. Also though I plum forgot about my fanfiction. Every now and then I'd realise and forget again.
WHICH IS SHAMEFUL!
Pretty Little Liars A Reveal
Anyone else really disappointed?
The writers said it was different from the books! And yet it was still Mona! I'll admit it was clever but at the same time I never suspected her cause they ruled her out from the get go for us. I felt really bad for Hanna too, she'll definitely need some comfort from Caleb after finding out that it was Mona.
And finally…
I will do everything in my power to update on a regular basis until PLL returns.
I did try to write this chapter a number of times and that itself is part of the reason for such a delay, I didn't know how Hanna was to tell Caleb that the baby may not be his! I knew it would break Caleb's heart and a part of me couldn't write that. So in the end this is what I decided..
Enjoy :)
Chapter 23
Stand By You
The past week Hanna had weighted the pros and cons to having this baby.
Pro: It was her and Caleb's chance to start a fresh. Con: The baby may not be Caleb's.
Pro: If the baby was Mark's then would being a father numb the blow of her finishing with him. Con: Mark could reject the baby.
Pro: She could abort the baby. Con: Hanna couldn't bring herself to murder something so innocent.
She toyed with the idea of not telling Caleb and hoping for the best. But what if that baby wasn't his? Could she really go on pretending that it was? And if she did what if Caleb found out? She could risk losing him forever… which may happen anyone if she told him from the start.
Once she finally decided that she had to tell Caleb she went over and over in her mind how she would word it. Starting with her being pregnant would risk Caleb becoming elated before she hit him with the blow that it may not be his, but it seemed too harsh to begin with the negative of
"I'm pregnant with Mark's baby, but actually it might be yours." She didn't really see that as a silver lining. So when the time finally came and she couldn't avoid Caleb any longer she decided she had to just bite the bullet and go with what came to her naturally.
"Hanna you're scaring me, what's wrong?" Caleb asked when she hadn't spoken since he greeted her at the door. Hanna looked up at his worried face, his eyes focused on her and filled with care and she began to cry,
"I'm so sorry," she blubbered.
Caleb didn't look away from her, his face became hurt and he asked,
"Your choosing him aren't you?"
Hanna looked up alarmed and shook her head,
"No," she reassured him taking his hands in hers,
"Never," she added,
"I need to be with you. My life doesn't make sense without you in it," she told him.
"I feel the same," Caleb whispered.
"You may not once I tell you," she went on, but Caleb shook his head,
"Nothing can ever tear us apart again, whatever it is I will stand by you and we will get through it together."
"I don't think I can tell you. Maybe I should just let you go. What I've done, you don't deserve…" Hanna began frantically.
Caleb wrapped her arms around her,
"Hanna, shhh," he soothed her,
"Just tell me."
Hanna took a deep breath,
"I've felt so guilty about what we were doing behind Mark's back and I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't let him find out without it coming from me and to stop him getting suspicious I had to act normal," she began, Caleb nodded but said nothing.
"And now I find out that I'm…" tears streamed from Hanna's eyes,
"I can't say it… it hurts to talk about it."
"Pregnant," Caleb finished for her and Hanna nodded,
"I'm so sorry. I wish I hadn't. I just want us to be a happy family again, just you, me and Harry," she sobbed. Caleb held her closer and squeezed her tight.
"We can still be that," he told her. He took a deep breath,
"And if that means a new edition to our family then I couldn't be happier," he went on.
"But what if it's not…" Hanna began,
"If I'm not the baby's father then I will treat it as my own and be a Dad to it. I won't tread on Mark's toes if he wants to be a part of the baby's life but I will support you Hanna, and love the child as though it were my own because it is an extension of you, and I love you."
I struggled with this for so long and was worried what Caleb would say to express how he feels, but when it came to it it wrote itself (well not really but you know what I mean) the words just came to me and I knew exactly what Caleb would say, could see Tyler Blackburn saying those words with tears in his eyes and a crying Hanna in his arms. I can picture it and I hope you can too.
Until next time.