Emma Swan

I refuse to give up. I will do whatever needs to be done to prove to Regina she can trust me again. I want to be in their lives again. I'm not expecting her to forgive me right away or ever look at me in a romantic aspect ever again. I know that damage I've caused. I just need both of them in my lives again. I could survive knowing that one day we could be friends again. Henry never has to find out who I really am as long as I am allowed in his life. I just need them around. One of these days Regina's not going to be able to turn down Henry's adorable pout and we will go out for ice cream.

I've seen them four times this week alone. Once at the grocery store, Granny's, the park and her house of course. I was stupid enough to let them go once. I won't do that again.

Every year for the Fourth of July, there's always a big celebration in town. There's a carnival with tons of food and rides, along with fireworks tonight, once the sun sets. I'm hoping I will run into Regina and Henry, since I'll be with Ruby and Belle.

The heat was sweltering as it clung desperately to my sticky body. The air was filled with the mouthwatering aroma of delicious food being grilled. The sweet smell of funnel cake drifted through the air every so often, making me seek out a stand so maybe I can purchase one for Henry. Or maybe this was my chance to buy the kid an ice cream like he's been begging for.

"So, six years Belle...do I hear wedding bells anytime soon?" I inquire while playfully nudging her shoulder.

"I hope so. I want to start a family. We already live together I don't see what the big deal is," Ruby and I both smile sympathetically.

This has been a main concern of Belle's for quite some time now. I hope her boyfriend isn't playing games with her heart, but six years is a very long time, especially for a man his age.

"But I want to know about this new woman in Ruby's life..." Belle winks and I think Ruby blushes for the first time ever.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's all very new so let's not jinx it, okay?"

I decide this is my cue to bring up the topic of conversation, I'm sure both of these women are tired of hearing me whine about.

"So, um, do you guys think Regina will be here?" I mutter as I shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

"They usually are. We meet them here every year," Belle confirms inspiring my heart to flutter and a shy smile to slip across my lips.

That was until I laid my eyes on her. Then my heart went into over drive, taking off with a speed I was not properly trained for. I've never seen Regina look so casual before in public. Of course, I saw her in t-shirts and yoga pants in bed but never in public.

Regina is wearing very short, light blue, jean shorts. Her tank top is a red sheer button down that contains slits running seductively down the back. Her thick lips are painted ruby red to match her shirt while those raven locks are loose and flowing all around her face.

I think I stopped breathing.

"Emma, are you okay?" Ruby asks as she notices how I'm completely lost in a trance.

I swallow hard and nod my head slowly, utterly lost in the beauty that is Regina Mills. Ruby and Belle follow my gaze until they spot Regina and Henry.

"Oh...damn Regina looks good. Do you think she's taunting you?" Ruby laughs as Belle covers up her mouth to stifle her own laughter.

"Not funny guys," I snap and begin making my way toward the pair.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see Robin twirl Regina around and kiss her embarrassingly hard. My stomach turns, and I beg myself to turn away but apparently my brain enjoys the torture.

There is another little boy around Henry's age standing behind Robin. My head tilts to the side as I watch the little boy approach Henry with a wide toothy grin.

"That's Robin's son, Roland. Robin got divorced a year before he met Regina," Belle explains as we resume our journey walking toward the group.

"Hey guys!" Robin greets us first the moment he spots us approaching.

I didn't miss the way Regina's face fell when she noticed me lingering awkwardly behind my two friends.

"Mom can we go on the rides now?" Henry whines in which Regina shoots him a disapproving look.

"Did you even say hello to Aunt Ruby or Aunt Belle? I didn't raise you to be rude," Regina comments.

"I know," Henry mumbles as he moves around to hug all three of us, which took me by surprise. His mother specifically left me out but he still greeted me with a warm hug.

"Um Regina, would it be alright if I took Henry on the Ferris Wheel?"

I knew this wasn't exactly appropriate. I should've asked for consent in private but there were just too many people around.

"I don't think that's-"

"Please Mom!" Henry pleads with his hands folded and his lip in a full pout.

"Okay," she hesitantly mutters but caves immediately once that adorable pout was on full display.

"Thank you," I sincerely state while trying to make eye contact. She avoids my eyes as if I were Medusa, ready to turn her into stone the second our eyes connect.

I reach for Henry's hand and he happily slips his tiny hand inside of mine. Fear crept up the back of my neck at the thought of losing this small boy through the sea of people so I squeeze his hand even tighter.

As we start to walk away, I hear Ruby whispering to Regina. "Don't worry Regina, Emma won't say anything she isn't supposed to."

I hold on tight to Henry's hand as we maneuver awkwardly through the crowd. We wait in silence for a few minutes before it is our turn on the carnival ride. Henry hands the man our tickets in an attempt to act older than her really is. I smile at the little boy and follow his lead.

"So...five years old? Kindergarten is coming up right?" I ask trying to start the conversation as we sit down in our seats.

"Yeah! I'm excited Roland is going to be in my class!"

"Well that's cool. You'll have a friend."

He nods but quickly changes the subject taking me by surprise.

"How do you know my mom?"

"Oh um, we met at the university she works at. We were really good friends."

"That's cool. What happened? Why aren't you friends anymore?"

"Sometimes life just gets in the way," I shrug and try to fake the best smile I can manage.

"Well that stinks. I don't ever want to lose my friends." I nod along and watch the adorable little boy intently. "I think she likes you though."

I freeze. "Uh what?"

"I don't know, she acts different around you. I think you make her nervous. I'm sure she still wants to be friends."

I release a deep breath of relief. Of course, he wouldn't mean anything more than just being friends, he's five.

"So, what do you and your mom do for fun?"

"I like video games, but I only get so much time. We go to the park a lot. We bake, she likes brownies. We get ice cream. There's a lot of ice cream places but she always takes me to the same one. It's old looking but I think it's like our place." My heart is filling with so much joy listening to him rambling on about his life with Regina. "My mom acts strict but she's a softy when it comes to me."

"Oh, you think so?" I laugh, raising one eyebrow skeptically.

"Yeah! She has a hard time telling me no," he smiles brightly and I can't stop my laughter while shaking my head.

She used to say the same thing about me.

"You know Henry, I am so happy Regina has you but I'm even happier you have her as a mother."

Hot tears slowly take over my vision so I quickly turn away so he doesn't see. I hastily brush the tears away and take a deep breath to calm myself.

"Yeah, I love my mom. She's the best!"

A large lump is forming in the back of my throat from all these unexpected emotions. I thought I was in control, but I'm just too overwhelmed with the love these two share. This is exactly the life I had hoped for my son.

The ride soon ended, and I held his soft hand as we walked back to the group.

"Did you have fun?" Regina asks as Henry drops my hand and leaps into his mother's arms.

"Yeah! We were so high up. Did you see Mom?" He squeals while pointing back over to the Ferris Wheel.

"I did Henry," she laughs as she kisses his cheek.

A flashback of our former life together comes rushing back before my very eyes. Regina and I were standing in the nursery, she was holding the tiny newborn, kissing his cheek with so much love in her eyes.

I try to wipe away the tear that escaped before anyone saw but I notice Regina watching me intently. She gently places Henry back down on the ground but her eyes never leave mine.

"Daddy can Henry and I go on some rides now?" Roland asks tugging on Robin's shirt.

"Of course, my boy, let's go!"

XXXXXXXXX

Ruby and Belle went off in search for some drinks and Robin offered to take the boys on the Tilt-a-Whirl. Ultimately leaving Regina and I, standing silently next to the ride.

My heart is pounding just being this close to the woman who took in my son and raised him as her own. I need to say something, anything to her so maybe she can understand why I'm trying so hard to be a part of their lives.

"He's amazing Regina. He's so polite, well behaved and so smart for his age. Seeing you two together, is all that I dreamed of and more. Thank you for letting me take him on the ride."

"Well it seems I won't be getting rid of you as quickly as I thought."

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I promise, and I will prove it to you."

We both fall silent for a brief moment. The small cages zipping past us, forcing gusts of wind into our faces. The screaming and laughter of children as they whip around the ride echo all around us but she is my main focus.

"So, you had mentioned the other day postpartum, so I was right? You did have it?"

"Yes, I did. I went through a really hard time the first year I was gone. I was prescribed medication and I went to a therapist once a week to try and cope, with everything. After a year I was taken off the medication because I was doing much better. I still saw the therapist every other week, but that was my choice, to help deal with leaving you and Henry behind," I pause and turn to face her so maybe she can understand better. "I loved both of you with everything I had. It was the hardest decision I ever made but I know now, it was for the best. You two deserved better. I wasn't in the right mind to raise him alone. I was too young, selfish and foolish."

"You weren't alone Emma," she mumbles never once making eye contact with me.

"I know that now, I was too stubborn to see that then." She simply nods. I can tell she was fighting her own battle within. I think she wants to believe in my words but it's too hard for her and I don't blame her the least bit. "I know this isn't the time or place, I just felt like you needed to know. I still love you both so much."