Disclaimer: It all belongs to SM. I only own the story line and whatever future characters decide to pop up.
A/N: I want to give a special thanks to MADMAMABEAR for being my Beta, thank you so much for working with me on my story. It really means alot to me. Luv Ya!
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WARNING!:
Some events and situations in this chapter maybe too graphic for anyone under the age of 18. If you are under age stop here, if not please continue. I do not promote anyone being violated or mistreated at all, whether it is emotional or physical. The actions are implied so the events in this chapter were necessary to the plot of this chapter in order to show a certain characters nature.
What Could Have Been
CHAPTER 12
Bella:
Emily came up to bring me breakfast. I asked her where Jake was and she told me that she forced him downstairs to the sofa bed to get some sleep because he sat up all night in the chair watching me sleep. I felt bad because I really wanted Jake next to me at night and I worried that he was watching me and worrying himself. Emily also told me that he didn't want to wake me up with his tossing and turning at night.
I started to wonder why he would be so restless. He hasn't been like this since his mom died. What could be troubling him this much? I'll have to ask him later when he wakes up. Emily and I spent our time together talking and playing card games during the day since I couldn't go for walks; I was so close to birthing our babies and walking might force an early onset of labor and we definitely didn't want that!
Various members of the Pack, especially Seth and even Leah came over from time to time. It was nice to see Leah now that she didn't hate me anymore. She was actually happy for me and Jake. We talked a little about the Pack and how things were going. She asked me how Jacob was doing.
"He is really tired, he doesn't sleep much and I miss him next to me. He's often on the sofa downstairs."
"Why is he not sleeping in bed with you Bella?"
"I'm not sure exactly Leah, Emily told me he has been really restless at night and can't sleep."
"Hmmm..that is a little strange, because he usually sleeps like the dead!"
"I know he does, or at least he used to. I haven't seen him this anxious and upset since Sarah died, I remember that clearly."
"He's probably nervous about being a father and raising two children at such a young age," Leah said.
"I know that I'm nervous, but as long as I have Jacob with me, then we should be just fine."
"You two will be just fine and everything will work out."
We watched a movie for a while and then Leah had to go help Quil's mom out at the store she ran. She said she would send Seth over to see me and keep me company. I told her that would be nice and then she left me with my thoughts. I called down to Emily and she came up to see what I needed.
"Emily?"
"Yeah, Bella? What did you need hon?"
"Is Jacob awake yet?"
"No honey, he's still sleeping. What did you need?"
"I just wanted to talk to him about his behavior lately."
"His behavior?"
"Yeah. Emily, he won't sleep in the same bed with me, he doesn't sleep at night; instead he stays up all night long and then he sleeps during the day if he's lucky. What's going on Em?"
"I'm not sure Bella but I can ask Sam and see if he knows anything, alright?"
"Could you ask him for me? I would appreciate it."
"Ok, I will talk to him soon and ask him."
Emily went back downstairs and called Rachel.
"Hello?"
"Hey Rachel? Would you like to come over and visit with Bella?"
"Sure, I would love to. Sure."
She said she would be here in five minutes, tops. Em laughed at her friend, she was the fastest female when it came to coming to see anyone for ANY type of gossip.
Bella sat in her bed and watched TV hoping that maybe Jake would come up and see her. She heard the doorbell ring and Emily's voice calling out to whoever was at the door.
The door opened and closed and she heard a familiar voice.
"Hey Emily, where's my soon to be future sister in law?"
"Upstairs in bed. Rachel, can you stay with Bella and Jake for a little bit? I need to speak with Sam but he's not answering his phone."
"Sure sure, no problem. Hey, where is my baby bro anyway?"
"Sound asleep on the couch."
"Oh, ok. Well I'll stay and you go talk to Sam. See you later Em."
"Thanks. I'll be back before dinnertime. There's food already made for lunch in the fridge and Bella's awake upstairs."
"Cool, I got it covered from here."
"Bye Rach."
"Bye Em."
Rachel:
I walked into the living room and checked on Jacob. He was sleeping; restlessly, and mumbling in his sleep. I haven't seen or heard him do that since mom died. I wondered why this was happening again.
Worrying myself silly, I went up to see Bella. She was twitchy, sitting in her bed watching a really bad reality show on TV when I came into the bedroom.
"Hey Bella."
"Oh, hey Rachel! How are you?"
"Ok, I guess, and you?"
"I'm worried about Jake."
"You too huh?"
"Yes, what do you know Rach? Tell me you have an insight on him, or something, anything."
"Probably the same as you; he won't sleep and when he does, he will only sleep in the daytime. He is mumbling in his sleep right now but I can't make out what he's saying. How long has he been like this?"
"Since he was really late coming home from the garage about two months ago."
"Jacob doesn't patrol with any of the guys anymore. Sam has him going solo when he does patrol but I don't like him all alone out there."
"Wow, I didn't know that was going on! He doesn't really talk that much anymore, not like he used to Rachel. I'm scared about his health and his behavior. I don't understand what's happened to him."
"Me either. I'm going to call Paul and see if he can find anything out for me."
"Oh, thank you Rach!"
"Hey, are you hungry? You wanna eat lunch now? I can wake Jacob."
"Yes I think I'M hungry, but you can try to wake him, good luck with that."
"Ok, then I'll work on that and I'll bring your food up to you in a few minutes."
Rachel and Paul:
I walked downstairs to the kitchen and got the food ready. Once I was done making lunch, I took Bella's tray up to her and then came back down to wake Jake to eat. I walked over to the couch and sat down on the floor beside him; watching and listening to him dream.
He squirmed and mumbled something about, "'Victoria? Let me go!' then he started to get more and more upset, like he was fighting this woman. Yeah I knew who she was, thanks to Paul, we don't keep secrets from each other. I was getting worried when Jacob started cursing in his sleep.
"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS...OFF...MY...DICK!...YOU FUCKIING BITCH!"
"STOP!...NO!...LEAVE...ME...ALONE!...DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!...GO...AWAY...VICTORIA! PLEASE! GOD! HELP ME!"
I started to cry and I ran to the kitchen and out onto the back porch.
I took out my cell phone and texted Paul to get his ass over here. After I texted Paul, I went back into the house to watch over my brother. I prayed to the Great Spirit to watch over and protect my little brother and to keep him safe from harm. This was certainly one time I wished our mom was still alive.
Something was really wrong with my little brother and I'd be damned if I was going to watch him suffer anymore like this! My phone buzzed and the message read, 'I just found out a few things that Sam thought he was hiding from the Pack on Jacob's orders/request. Be there in a few minutes. DO NOT WAKE HIM UP(!) until I am there! He could hurt you girls if you startle him enough!'
'Ok, I promise to wait. I am in the living room next to him on the floor by the couch. The door is unlocked.'
I put my phone back into my pocket and sat quietly waiting for Jake to wake on his own. After only 10 minutes, Paul came in the back door.
"Rach?"
"In here baby!"
Paul approached me carefully and kneeled down in front of me.
"How is he?"
"The same. He is really scared Paul, something isn't right."
"Come outside on the back porch with me and we can talk ok?"
"Ok."
We walked out onto the back porch and sat down and started talking about Jacob.
"So, what was Sam hiding from everyone Paul?"
"Uhmmm...you aren't going to like this Rachel, not at all but here goes; a couple months ago there was a problem at the garage and the Cullen coven came onto the reservation to protect Bella and the babies. Jacob was attacked and held against his will by a vicious, psychopathic vampire named Victoria."
"Jake said her name in his sleep a few minutes ago, he told her to let him go and to stop touching him. What does that mean Paul?"
"It means honey, that your brother was more or less violated and almost raped by a vampire who wanted revenge against Edward Cullen and Bella. She wanted to either kill Jacob or turn him, to replace her mate James, who the Cullens killed about a year ago."
"So, you mean to tell me that my little brother was violated in multiple ways against his will by a BITCH VAMPIRE!?"
"Yes, baby, he was."
"OH MY GOD! Does Bella know what happened?"
I knew the answer to that question when Paul bowed his head.
"I see, so Jacob hasn't told her yet?"
A penitent head shake.
"Ok then, we won't tell her either right now, but she is growing more and more suspicious about Jake's behavior and I don't know how much longer we can keep her in the dark about this."
"I know baby, and this kills me to know that some vamp did this to our brother, but we have to be supportive and not press the issue too much with Jake until he's ready to talk about it ok?"
"Yeah, I understand. You're right Paul. We should go back inside and check on Bella."
We both went back inside and split apart. Paul watched Jake and I went to take Bella some water and to sit with her. We had to keep her as calm as possible. She was due in a couple of weeks and her calm attitude was of the utmost importance.
While Paul was sitting in the kitchen; he heard a whimper and the next thing he heard was a loud thump. Something fell to the floor. He got up and rushed into the livingroom and on the floor by the coffee table, curled up in a ball was a whimpering Jacob. He was crying and Paul felt so bad for him that he sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug.
Jacob clung to Paul and cried into his chest. Mind you Paul wasn't normally this sappy but he was tending to his imprint's brother and his Pack brother, his future rightful Alpha as well and you always help and comfort your family in times of distress.
"Why? Why couldn't she just leave me alone? I told her if she left right now that no one would follow her, but she didn't and I couldn't help it and I couldn't fight it or her, she kept kissing me and touching me, she wanted to have sex with me in several different ways and my body betrayed me! Oh God! How do I tell Bells?"
"Shhh..Jake. It's ok, you're safe now and she is dead!"
"I feel so dirty, violated! Paul! Help me! I can't even sleep in the same bed with Bella because I am afraid she will hear my nightmares! I still feel those icy touches on my skin, make it stop! Please! Help me!"
Paul Lahote was stunned with the horror of his Alpha's experience. He could only assure him of his presence, his support.
"I'm here Jake. You can talk to me or Rachel if you're not comfortable speaking to Bella about this."
"I can't tell her! Because she will leave me!"
"Give Bella more credit than that, Chief. Because she has handled a lot of bad stuff and has made it through. Maybe talking to her about it will heal your heart and soul."
"I don't know. I am too ashamed to have anyone else know about this, Paul! I don't want them to view me as weak."
"Let me tell you this, Alpha. YOU will never be viewed as weak. In any way, shape or form. Count on that! Jake, go talk to your dad about this. He won't judge you and he can help you. I'm sure of it."
"I'll think about it, ok. Just give me some more time please brother?"
"I will. Until the babies are born and then it's time to fix this Jake or you won't be any good to the kids or Bella!"
"Paul? Is everything alright down there?"
"Yeah, Rach, everything's fine babe. Just give us a few minutes alright?"
"Alright, come up when you're ready ok?"
"Yeah, babe, be there in a few."
I wiped the sweat from my forehead.
"Well that was close."
"Tell me about it, my sister is way too perceptive about things. Does she know?"
"She is putting some of the pieces together but I really think she is waiting for you to want to come to her for help."
"I might just do that. Bella isn't a viable option because I have to keep her calm and stress free until she has our babies."
"I hear ya, dude. Look, the three of us will help you with this. Talk to Rach first and then she can go with you to Billy and you both can speak with him alright?"
"Sure, sure."
"We should probably head on up before Rachel or Bella comes looking for us."
"Yeah, umm..I need to use the bathroom and wash my face. I can't let Bells see me like this or she'll worry."
"Ok man, meet you upstairs."
I left Jacob and went up to see our girls. They were laying down on the bed next to each other, Rachel was rubbing Bella's belly. Jacob came up and walked over to the bed and laid down on the other side of Bella. He and Rachel took turns feeling the babies move. I could see a little foot and tiny toes poking through Bella's belly, it was amazing that you could actually see the outlines on her skin. I can't wait to be a father to Rachel's children because it will be the most amazing thing in the world.
"How are you feeling Bells?" Jacob asked.
"Stretched to the limit, sore, tired, cranky, fat. I feel like a faucet without a shut off valve!"
"We only have a little ways to go Honey and then our baby boys will be here!"
"I know. But I miss you Jake, so very much!"
"I am sorry baby, I promise I will do a better job for you ok?"
"Okay babe, I love you!"
"Love you more!"
BELLA:
The week went by too quickly and now we were going back to the doctor's office for our second week appointment. Jake and I drove to the hospital to our doctor's office. We parked and Jacob helped me out of the car and we went in to see her.
Dr. Angeles did another exam and she said, "You are now at three centimeters, Bella. How are you sleeping at night?"
"Um..I am exhausted and I can't get comfortable. Jake carries me up and down the stairs so I won't fall down and I'm just too tired. I eat healthy food and nap often during the day."
"You are progressing nicely Bella and the babies are still in the head down position and dropping properly."
"So, no C-Section?"
"No, no reason for one at this time, you can have the babies naturally."
"Good a vaginal delivery, yay me! Because I hate hospitals and I didn't want to be stuck in one for weeks."
We got home and again Jake carried me up the stairs and set me down on the bed. I kissed and hugged him. I didn't want him to go so I asked him to stay with me and feel both of the babies kick. Jake liked to listen to their heartbeats and to feel them move, so I used it to my advantage to get him to stay with me awhile.
Jake and I were sitting on the bed when Emily came up with our lunch. I let Emily touch my stomach and she smiled. She said one day she and Sam would know what it felt like. Of course Sam would blush red when she would say that, I always thought they were so cute together.
Quil and Embry were always coming to see me especially when they were curious about who the babies would look like and of course they had to take bets from everybody on the reservation. They even suckered Billy, Charlie and Sue out of twenty bucks. Paul put up a hundred dollars betting on me as the dominant parent.
Whoever lost the bet had to give the money to Jake for the college fund. My mom called me regularly to see how everything was going. I told her we were doing just fine and we had two more doctor's appointments left before my due date.
She was coming in from Florida on Friday. Charlie offered her a room at his place for her and Phil because Jake and I already had company staying with us. Angela called and told me to call her when I went into labor. I told her that she was already on the list of people to call.
I decided to take a nap before dinner. Jake was outside chopping some wood for the fireplace. He wanted to make sure the house would be warm for the babies when they came. I think he was trying to keep himself distracted by making himself useful.
'I don't know who was more scared, me or Jake.'
Everyone was around the cabin in shifts to help or to talk/calm Jacob down, who had become a nervous wreck at times. Every time he heard me moan or hiss in pain he thought I was in labor and he would freak out.
At one point Embry had to take Jacob outside and tie him to the big spruce tree in the backyard because he was totally driving me crazy with the 'are you ok?', 'should we go to the hospital?', 'do you want me to call the doctor?"' My gosh, who does that anyway?
Rachel was like, "Please, oh please, let me smack him around a bit. He'll calm down!"
I told her not to hurt him like that. "He is just scared and nervous."
"Ok, but Bella? If he doesn't calm down soon, I will have Charlie tranq him!"
"You mean sedate him?"
"Yep, a little horse tranquilizer will do the trick but I'm afraid he'll have to be shot repeatedly throughout the day to keep him under!"
"Rachel!?"
"What? It could work!"
"You've totally lost it now, sister! Ugh, why me?"
"Because you were the one who let him dip it in!"
"God! Rachel? Some tact please?"
"Honey I'm a Black. We're all about tact, NOT!"
"No, that's not it, you've been hanging around Paul too much and now you're sounding like him!"
"Pfft, at least I'm here to keep Jacob in line for you, ya know, nobody else wanted the job!"
My shoulders just slumped in defeat and I laid back in bed and watched TV.
Another week went by and we were off to the doctor's office again. Dr. Angeles did an exam and she told me I was now at six and a half centimeters. She said to go home and rest and she would see us next week or when I went into labor. She said to come in if my water broke. But if I started contracting to come in when they were five minutes apart and lasted about three minutes. I told her I would come in if either thing happened. We left and went to La Push. Jake once again refused to let me walk into the house and up the stairs, he carried me again. Once we entered our bedroom and I was settled, Emily and Rachel came in with food, a couple more pillows, some magazines and a few books I liked.
They stayed with me while Jake went over to Billy's to let him know it would be anytime now. I was more than half way. I only needed to get to ten centimeters to start pushing. I was happy to know that by next week we would be parents and get to see our children for the first time.
Alice:
I missed Bella and Jacob and I kept an eye on Bella when Jacob wasn't too close to her. I could see her more clearly.
Esme asked me, "How is Bella?"
I told her, "She is doing well, she is dialated to six and a half centimeters now and she could deliver as soon as next week."
Carlisle said he would be doing rounds at the hospital for the next two weeks.
He would let us know how things were going with Bella and the babies. Edward was happy to hear that everything was going well and that Bella and Jacob were still safe and happy, which made him happy for the first time in months.
I called Bella and talked to her for awhile and she sounded good but she was also very tired. She tried to sleep as often as she could. I told her to tell Jake I said 'hi' and that I would call her again soon. I was anxious for the babies' birth. I knew Jacob and Bella would be awesome parents.
I already went shopping for some things to give them once the babies get here. Esme had made them little quilts that said "Baby Black" on them, in a baby green and white color. They had little russet wolves on them. Emily gave her the idea when she called to ask what they would need.
Emily is so sweet and then there's Rachel. She's definately Jacob's sister and then there's Rebecca, who lives in Hawaii, but I know her thoughts and love are there in La Push. But I have to say Kim and Leah are unique and strong women. I like them all. One by one, they will make wonderful mothers as well,...lets just say that I have it on very good authority.
Bella:
Well Friday finally got here and my dad went to the airport in Seattle to pick up Renee and Phil and then bring them by to see me. A few hours passed and then I heard voices downstairs. Charlie was here with them, Jake told them to go on upstairs to see me.
"Hey, Bella. How are you feeling honey?"
"I feel like a beached whale! I hate being stuck in this bed!"
"Bella honey, it's just for a little while longer baby. You need to rest, you don't want to go into labor too soon do you?"
"No, I don't but I'm just tired of this! I want to go for a walk with Jacob and spend some time with him!"
"My little girl finally has her Indy Boy?"
"Yeah, I do. I was so blind. I never should've ignored Jacob; he has always been my friend and I finally see what an important part of my life he's been and I'm not just saying this because he got me pregnant either. I really am in love with him Mom and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."
"Are you saying that Jacob has asked you to marry him?" Renee's eyes lit up.
"No, Mom! He hasn't! And I don't want to get married right now either!"
"I am confused Bella. Why won't you marry Jacob?"
"He's too young to get married."
"Ok. Let me ask you a question Bella. Let's say for arguments' sake Jacob did ask you to marry him, what would you tell him?"
"If he asked me right now I would say no. But if he were to ask me after he turns eighteen then I would say YES!"
"Have you two talked about this yet?"
"No, we haven't,...why?"
"I really think if you two plan on staying together and raising your children together Bella, you need to talk to Jacob and find out what exactly it is that the two of you want from this relationship. Understand?"
"Yes Mom, I get what you're saying."
"All I'm saying Bella is that you can still say 'yes' honey, just set the date for later after Jacob turns eighteen. I don't want you to throw this love away Bella; because once its gone, its gone and there's no getting it back. Just don't dismiss Jacob if he asks you alright?"
"Alright Mom. I don't want to hurt him but I just want one thing in this relationship to go the way it's supposed to ok?"
"I know honey just be careful not to break his heart or yours, because Jacob is completely dedicated to you and the children. I know for a definite fact that Jacob wants forever with you too but he wants to do it right."
"Thanks Mom, for talking with me about all this."
"You're welcome baby. I just want you two to be happy."
"I know Mom."
"Ok baby, we're going to head back to Charlie's and get some sleep, we'll see you later ok?"
"Yes, bye Mom."
"Bye baby girl."
My mom gave me a lot to think about but Jacob hasn't even mentioned marriage to me. That's why I didn't want to get married right away, but also because Jake is still too young and I don't want to force him into anything he might not be ready for yet. I was very tired so I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
'I had a dream that Jake had asked me to marry him and I said no and it broke his heart. The look in his eyes made me cry so hard that I woke myself up calling for Jake.'
"Bella? Honey,are you ok?"
"I had a bad dream."
"It's alright, Bells. I'm not going anywhere ok?"
"Ok, Jake, I love you. I'm sorry for scaring you."
"It's alright Honey, it was just a bad dream, you're safe now and I love you more."
Jacob:
Bella screamed for me and scared me half to death, I ran into the house and up the stairs to see if she was alright. She had a bad dream so I crawled into bed next to her. I put my arms around her, I kissed her and held her there in my arms until she fell back to sleep. We stayed like that all night. There weren't any more bad dreams, but soon Emily came in to check on us.
"Hey, how's it going?"
"She had a bad dream and woke up screaming. I calmed her down, I just got her back to sleep."
"Are you ok Jacob?"
"Is it possible for a seventeen year old to die of fright?"
"Jake, I don't think you're going to drop dead everytime Bella screams!" she laughed.
"Ha ha! I'm serious Emily, I don't know how much more I can take, I feel so useless. Bella's upset about being stuck in bed all the time, she wants out but the doctor wants her to rest. I am so damn tired I can't see straight ever since she became pregnant! I've felt sick, tired, moody, sad, lonely,...pick one! I've got it all! All the emotions SHE'S supposed to be experiencing! I never thought the pregnancy would effect me like this!"
"It's called sympathy pains... a lot of new fathers go through this."
"How do you know this Em?"
"I read books Jake!"
"Can you watch Bella for me?"
"Sure Jake, where are you going?"
"To town for something. I'll be back in a few hours. And please don't let me forget our last doctor's appointment is tomorrow. We'll find out if she needs to go into the hospital or not."
"Ok Jake, hey wait! Take your cell phone with you okay? Just in case."
"Ok, be back soon."
I left and went into town for awhile. I wanted to buy Bella's engagement ring so I did. It was beautiful. It had a silver band and was covered in light blue diamonds, the center of it was a heart-shaped sapphire. I had the band engraved. It read, 'Soul mates forever, Jacob & Bella'.
I thought it would make her happy and I did want to marry her someday, I just didn't know when to ask. I walked around for awhile to think about what I wanted to do and then I ran into Angela.
"Hey Jacob, has Bella had the babies yet?"
"No, she hasn't. We go back to the hospital tomorrow for a check up."
"Okay, well let me know when it happens. I'll talk to you later Jacob and tell Bella I said hello, okay?"
"Sure Angela, I'll tell Bells you said hello."
Angela went on her way and I figured I would pick up some flowers for Bella and I also picked up her favorite candy. On my way home I stopped by Charlie's house to ask him for permission to marry his daughter.
"Hey Charlie."
"Hey there Jake, is Bella alright?"
"Yes, she's fine. I came over because I wanted to ask you something."
"Ok Jake; go ahead ask me."
"Chief Swan, I am in love with Isabella Marie Swan and I am asking you for permission to marry your daughter."
"Wow! Jake, I am so proud of you! You have grown so much and I know you will love and protect my daughter and your children. I would be honored to have you as a son-in-law! The answer to your question is yes! You have my permission and my blessing to marry Bella!"
"Thank you sir!"
"Just call me dad already!"
"I will when she says yes."
I headed home to Bella. I was happy that Charlie agreed to let me marry Bells. Now all I need to do is propose to Bella and hope she says yes. 'I hope she says yes!'
I walked in the door and went into the kitchen putting Bella's flowers in water and taking them upstairs. Bella was playing cards with Emily and I put the vase of flowers on the dresser and Bella's face lit up when I walked in. She smiled at me and wanted a kiss. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. I kissed her softly and hugged her tight. I handed her the box of candy I had gotten to smooth the way for the rest of my plan.
"What's this? A surprise for me?"
"Open it!"
"Ok, I will!...Oh my God! What are you up to?" She took the box from me and untied the ribbon.
Emily was totally focused and curious.
"What is it, Bella? What's it say?"
"It's candy, and it says: 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?'."
"WOW! Bella!"
"Do you like your presents?"
"Yes, I like the candy but what's this little box taped to the lid?"
"What box?" Emily asked.
"This box!" She held it up showing Emily the pretty box she was holding in her hand.
"Open it!"
"Ok Emily, here goes,... .GOD! JACOB?!"
"Let me see! WOW! Jacob, its beautiful!"
"So, do you like your gifts?"
"Yes, I do!"
"You do?" Jacob asked.
A/N:
Sorry about the cliffy! Aahh..no I'm not! lol . I had to stop there and keep you guessing if Bella will say yes or no! We all know how 'on-the-fence' she is about marrying Jacob, so we will see if our wolf did a good enough job convincing her! Please review and let me know what all of you think will happen! You guys so rock!