Disclaimer: It all belongs to SM. I only own the story line and whatever future character's decide to pop up.

A/N: I want to give a special thanks to MADMAMABEAR: for being my Beta, thank you so much for working with me on my story. It really means alot to me. Luv Ya!

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What Could Have Been

CHAPTER 15

Jake POV

Sam and I went outside to sit on the front porch, it was nice outside and the cool air felt good on my skin. Sam and I talked for a long time about my new life. He told me to take my time with my new family and not to worry about patrols. After all I was going to be a very busy man for awhile. But he did tell me to make sure I phased every now and then so I could continue the wolf part of my life and that way I won't lose it entirely until the day I decide to stop phasing.

I agreed to go for runs every so often to keep in touch with my wolf-self, even though my strength isn't at its peak. I feel the pull of the wolf inside me. He wants out but I just don't have the energy right now. Quil and Embry came over after patrols to talk to Sam. It was nice to see my friends again; we talked and hung out for some sorely needed reinforcement.

Quil asked if I was up to phasing for a bit. I told him I was too tired for that right now and he looked sad but said okay. Embry said it might make me feel better, I was cautious because I knew my brothers would be in my head and I was afraid they might see everything that happened between Victoria and me. I still hadn't shared that horrible time widely with my brothers and sister; and certainly not with my Bells. I just couldn't.

After thinking about it, I finally gave in and phased. We ran the borders of La Push for some time. Quil was right; my adrenaline kicked in, I connected with my Pack and before I knew it I had Leah and Seth in my head running with me as well. They all missed this side of me, they said. Seth told Quil and Embry to head on back to Sam's; that he and Leah would keep an eye on me.

"If you need help getting Jake home, howl and we will come running 'k?"

"We will call if we need help Quil, no worries, we got this," said Leah.

Q and Emb phased out soon and we continued our run for awhile longer. I was so caught up in my own head, I hadn't noticed that everyone was paying close attention to my thoughts. I forgot about not being alone when I ran and just let everything flow through my brain. From the tiniest thought about Bells, all the way to Victoria and then back to the birth of my children; I was just drifting, idling.

I wasn't shielding my thoughts from everyone and hadn't realized it until Paul phased in and gasped when he saw everything Victoria had done to me. Poor Seth was crying and had to phase out for a bit to calm down. I started to panic and took off from my packmates. I freaked out knowing that they saw everything and I feared their judgement and pity.

I was the next Alpha and Chief of our tribe and I had to be strong and commanding; but how can I when I fear their reaction? I knew in my heart I hadn't done anything wrong but to be seen as helpless; it does something to a man. I ran until my paws felt like they were bleeding; until I became so exhausted that I could no longer stand up. I collapsed on the ground in a heap and cried so hard.

God! Why? I needed my Bells in a bad way and I needed to tell her what happened to me soon; but not just yet. I heard a snuffle close by.

'Shipa?'

'What Leah?'

'I am truly sorry for what you went through and I am proud of you.'

'How so?'

'You are a strong leader Jake and we don't look at you with pity; we understand how you feel and would never treat you with disrespect. You are our future leader and we are here for you whenever and however you need us to be!'

I huffed in annoyance and yet I felt shame and apprehension too.

'You don't view me as weak?'

'Of course not! Do you see me as weak?'

'No, I don't. I see a strong woman and a beautiful soul. You are a wonderful person Leah and any man should be honored to be in your presence.'

'Wow! Shipa! Who knew you were ever that deep?!' (chuffs a laugh)

'I try,...but thank you Leah, for being here for me. I'm afraid to tell Bella and my father. Rachel, Paul and Sam were the only ones who knew what I went through until now. I need to get past this, so I can be there for Bella and our children.'

'Well you need to believe in yourself. Jake, you are a good man and I am proud to call you my brother. I got your back whenever you need me.'

'Thanks Leah. I guess we better head on back to the house before Sam, Embry and Quil freak out!'

'Yeah, Seth went on home, he needs a little time to process. He looks up to you Jacob and he feels sad inside for you. But he respects you so much.'

'He's a good kid.'

We finally got back home and I phased back to my human self and got dressed. Sam was on the porch with Emily when we got back from our run. Leah nodded to Sam and Emily and then headed for home to check on Seth.

"Feel any better Jake?"

"Yes, I do actually. I'm not as tired as I was. I think I can actually get a good night's sleep and be up on time in the morning. Oh and Sam?"

"Yeah Jake?"

"They all know now and I feel a lot lighter then I did before. I think I can talk to my dad now and then Bella. I have the Pack's support."

"That's good! Jake, did they see everything?"

"Yes, but poor Seth is freaking out. I feel bad that he had to see me like that, he's like a little brother to me Sam."

"I will talk to him. He loves you, ya know?"

"I know...Leah went home to talk to him."

"Good. I was phased for part of it at the end, when the Pack reacted to what they saw. They will follow you anywhere Jake, no questions asked."

"Good to know."

"I figured it might help you if you phased."

"Yeah, it did and now I'm ready to get some sleep. I'll see you two in the morning?"

"Sure Jake, we'll be here, 'night Jake."

"Night Sam, Em. I'm gonna shower and get some sleep now."

I went upstairs and undressed. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot water and stepped under the spray. My body felt tight and I needed to absorb the events of tonight. I am glad my brothers and sister understand and still care for me and they are here for me. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now. I can actually breathe and live my life with the ones I love.

I finished up in the shower and turned the water off, grabbing a fluffy towel to wrap around my hips and a smaller one to dry my hair. I walked back into our room and over to my dresser to pull out a pair of boxers. I didn't feel like wearing a t-shirt to bed tonight.

I did feel a lot better now, so I crawled into bed and went to sleep. Morning came and I woke up to the smell of breakfest. I was so damn hungry and I needed to eat now! I got dressed quickly and headed downstairs. Then I was headed to the hospital to see Bella and my babies because they were being discharged tomorrow afternoon.

I told Emily and Sam that I was a lot better but Emily decided she should drive me over to the hospital. I agreed to it and we left Sam at the cabin and went to see Bella. We drove back to Forks to see my family and I saw Charlie's car in the parking lot.

We parked next to the cruiser and went inside to see my family. I was so excited to see my Bells and the babies again that I walked a hell of a lot faster in the hospital. We waited for the elevator to take us up to the fifth floor. Emily had to put her hand on my arm to get me to stop bouncing on the balls of my feet.

Bella POV

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, Bells. Where's Jacob?"

"He went home yesterday because he was exhausted, I told him not to come back until he got some sleep."

"He looked pretty bad the other day. How many days did he go without sleep?"

"Almost five."

"I'm gonna have to talk to that boy about getting enough sleep! He's got a family to be there for now."

I was enjoying my father's company, we were talking about Jacob when he and Emily walked into the room.

"Jake!"

"Hey, Honey! How's my family doing today?"

"Much better now that Daddy is here! I can't wait to go home to our own bed and relax!"

"I know, I miss you too and before you even ask, yes I did get some rest. I had enough babysitters making sure of it. I even let Emily drive me here today, okay?"

"Good! Because Jake, babe? You looked terrible yesterday!"

"Good boy, I was hoping you would get some sleep! I was worried about you son."

"I'm fine Dad."

"You missed the kids, they went back to the nursery already. They set their own feeding schedule so now I know when to feed them."

"Cool! That'll be a lot easier now."

"Hey Dad? You want to take Emily to see the babies?"

"Sure Bells, I'll take her down to see them."

"Jake?"

"Yes, Bells?"

I held out my arms to my wolfman and he moved quickly to wrap me in his warmth.

"I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Bells."

"I love you Jacob."

"I love you more Bells."

He bent down and kissed me and I hugged him tightly. He told me they said it would be fine to come and pick me and the babies up tomorrow morning; to bring his family home. I was so happy and anxious to get there. He told me Emily was making a welcome home dinner for the babies and me and that she and Rachel would watch the kids so we could spend some time together.

I thought that was sweet and really couldn't wait to come home with Jake then. Everyone stayed with the babies and me off and on all day until Anna kicked them all out so I could get some sleep. They all said goodnight and Jake kissed me and then went on home. Charlie was heading down to the reservation to see Billy. I settled down to feed my children and then get as much rest as I was able before going home to start the long process of settling into a routine with two newborn pups.

Jake POV

Emily and I went back to my place. Sam was was patrolling; he left a note letting us know where he was. Em and I went into the house and got everything ready and put into the car for tomorrow. November third, I would be bringing my family home. I had two more months until my eighteenth birthday and then we needed to have a wedding.

Before any of that could happen though, we would have Thanksgiving and then Christmas. It would be the babies' first holidays with us and the rest of our Pack and Tribal family. I had enough money set aside so we would be set for awhile and I could afford to take some paternity leave from work because I now owned the garage.

Emily made dinner for Sam and me. She had made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole and french toast. We had iced tea to drink and for dessert she served lemon chiffon cake to go with our were eating together tonight and we sat down and talked and laughed at the jokes that Sam had heard from Quil and Embry. Speaking of Embry...

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"Where is Embry? I haven't seen him much since the night the babies were born. Where's he hiding?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, his mom's back from the Makah reservation, so he went back home to be with her and to give you and Bella some privacy with the pups."

"Okay, but he didn't have to leave. We were happy to have him here."

"I know and he knows that too. He said he wanted to give you guys some space but would still come by regularly to check on you, alright?"

"Sure sure, Sam."

Sam said they were all very happy for Bella and me. Finally! I got the woman I've been in love with for so long; since we were little kids. We went into the living room and turned on the TV and we all sat down to watch a movie. We watched Underworld Evolution. It was a good movie but I thank God Bella never became a vampire because then life would really suck for me. 'no pun intended'

I said goodnight to Sam and Emily and went upstairs to get ready for bed. By this time tomorrow Bella and the babies will be home in La Push and we can start our lives together as a family. I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I felt so much better and I could relax but I missed Bella very much and I couldn't wait until she was lying here next to me once again.

Morning came and I awakened with a start. It was all real. I showered and dressed quickly and went downstairs to get breakfast. Emily left me a note saying she and Sam went over to my dad's house to check on him and make sure he was set for the day because they knew it was going to be very busy around my house today once Bella and the babies came home from the hospital.

I made myself some breakfast and hung around the house watching TV, trying to keep my mind occupied. The time passed so fast! Before I knew it, it was lunch time and as I was scarfing down a snack, the hospital called me to let me know that I could pick Bella and the babies up in an hour. I called my dad to let him know I was leaving to get them. He said he would tell Emily and Sam, as well as Rachel, to come back over to the cabin.

I got in the car, making sure I had everything I needed and then drove to the hospital as fast as I dared. I finally got there and the first person(?) I saw was Carlisle standing in the hallway. He appeared to have been visiting another patient.

"Hello, Jacob? How are you?"

"I'm fine, Carlisle, and how are you?"

"I'm very well thank you. Are you picking up Bella and the babies today?"

"Yes I am. That's where I'm headed right now actually."

"May we stop by before you go to deliver a present for all of you?"

"I think Bella will like that. She's been missing Alice and you guys for awhile now. I think it would make her feel better. But please don't mention to her what went on with Victoria okay? I haven't had a chance to tell her yet, with her being here and all."

"No problem Jacob. It's not our place to involve ourselves in your personal life and we all promised that we wouldn't."

"Thank you for everything you've done for me and my family, Carlisle."

"Any time Jacob."

I said goodbye to him and went up to get Bella ready to come home. I walked into her room, she was showering, so she could dress. She had all the things she needed for her and the babies laid out on the bed already.

I set the carseats down with the diaper bags. The nurse told me that as soon as Bella was done getting ready she would send Tori down with the babies so we could dress them to go home. I leaned back in the chair and took a nap while I waited for my girl.

Bella POV

I was still a little sore from giving birth but it wasn't too bad. I finished my shower and dried off carefully so I wouldn't snag my stitches with the towel. I dressed carefully and then dried and brushed out my long, wavy and unruly hair. I even put some makeup on for when I saw Jake.

I curled my hair and put on my bracelet, the one Jake made me for my graduation, the tiny carving of a russet wolf. I packed up my bathroom case and opened the bathroom door. I saw Jake was already here, he was napping in the chair. I walked over to the bed and put all of my things in my suitcase quietly so I wouldn't wake him just yet.

I reached into a small pocket of my bag and took out the little box with my engagement ring and slipped it back on my finger. I put the box back in my bag and went over to Jake and kissed him gently on the lips. He smiled and opened his beautful brown eyes. God! He was gorgeous! How did I ever get so lucky to have a man this wonderful?

"Bells."

"Jake."

We just stared at each other, grinning like banshees, for a minute or so. He leaned up from his slouched napping position and kissed me gently.

"You all ready?"

"Yes, I am. We just need our babies!"

"I love it when you say 'our babies'."

"You do?"

"Yep! I do."

"Is MY Jacob ready to go?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am! Is MY Bells ready to take our pups home?"

He smiled MY smile and I nodded my head with an eager grin.

"I'll call Tori so she can bring the kids. My discharge papers are already signed but we have to sign the kids' birth certificates before we can leave with them."

"Okay. Sounds good, honey."

I called Tori and she soon came in with our babies, Christi and Joey Black. She could easily tell how proud we were of our new family. She brought the papers we needed to sign and some gifts to take home with us as well. Once we had signed everything, we started dressing our children. I dressed Joey in a cute little outfit that Rachel bought. It was a tiny pants outfit that said Daddy's Little Boy! on the shirt.

Jacob tried to put a lavender dress on Christi; with my help we got her covered. She even had a little bonnet to match. We carefully placed each one in their carseat and buckled them in. We packed up all their stuff, the nurse came in with my meds to take home as well as some personal care items for new mothers. Nurse Anna went to get a wheelchair for me.

Jacob went down to pull the car around and put all of our bags, balloons and things into the trunk. He came back up to the room where he found Anna with me in the wheelchair. The babies were settled on either side of my chair waiting for their Daddy. We all stepped into the elevator to begin the trip into our new lives together.

Jake opened the car and put each carseat into the base and made sure they were secure. Then he and Anna helped me into the car. We had everything and everyone and were finally on our way home.

Emily called and Jake told her we were on our way home. She said everything was ready and they all were waiting. It seemed only seconds before we were pulling onto the road that led to our cabin.

Jacob breathed deeply to take in the smell of the trees and the clean air. I did the same and he turned to me and smiled contentedly. I could tell he was relieved to finally have his whole family home, on his Tribal land. We parked in front of the cabin.

"You need any help babe?"

"I think I can get inside. I'm sore but I can walk a lot better now then I could before. Just bring the babies up on the porch and then we can go inside."

"Okay, I'll grab our pups and then I'll come back to give you a hand."

"It's alright, Jake. Here I go, one foot at a time and standing up now. Not so bad. Walking feels good and I can't wait to hold our babies. Watch me go!"

I started walking up the path to the steps that went up to the porch. I grabbed the handrail and took one step at a time. Opening the front door, I went in to sit in the nursery. I gingerly lowered myself into one of the rockers and put my feet up to relax. Jacob came in bringing the babies with him and unstrapped the harnesses on both carseats. He picked up Joseph and placed him with infinite tenderness in his crib, then picked up Christianna and handed her to me to hold.

The new daddy went back out to the car and loaded all of the bags onto his shoulders, back and in his hands; bringing them into our bedroom to unpack. Once he was done he came back into the nursey and put the rest of the babies' stuff away. What a perfect partner my wolf was going to be as we raised our children together.

"Hey babe? Why don't you grab our son and come over here and sit in the other rocker. A little one on one time will jumpstart that father/son bond."

"That sounds really good honey and I would love to sit with you girls and hold my boy. You know I never thought I would actually have all of this joy. I'm still a little shell-shocked I think."

"Jake! Why would you ever doubt that you of all people deserve to be happy?"

"Because when you met Edward, my world turned upside down and I feared that you wouldn't ever feel the same about me, the way I've always felt about you."

"Jake, you've always had my heart, ever since we were young children. Edward could never touch or take away the feelings I have for you. No one can ever take your place and I wouldn't want them to either. You have my heart, my soul, and my love forever Jake. Please don't ever doubt how I feel about you."

"I won't, but for a while it seemed there was a point when you didn't want me."

"Not true, babe! When Edward told me he didn't want me or need me in his life, I realized that I loved him; but it didn't feel the same as when we were together. You see Jake you've always accepted me no matter how I felt at the time and you were never far from me no matter how hard I tried to push you away. You loved me enough to fight for me, no matter how bad it hurt you. Jake you never gave up on us and that night when you were crying in your sleep, I felt a pull to you that was so strong and I let myself feel what it was like to love you. It was awesome, Jake! We have each other now and two beautiful babies and soon we will be husband and wife. I couldn't ask for any more and I couldn't be happier."

"That night when you snuck into my room? I was dreaming about my mother. We met each other for the first time since her death. I had forgotten how beautiful she was. She came to me and told me that you and I were meant to be together, that we were soul mates. We are each other's destiny."

"Somehow I've always known we were meant for each other. That night I didn't stop you from making love to me because I needed you and I was tired of fighting my feelings for you. I was pulled to you too and I couldn't will myself to stop you. I love you Jake and I don't regret that night at all. We needed to be able to feel our love and to accept it."

"I will never regret loving you that night or any night for that matter. You are my soul."

"And you are mine. Forever."

We gently laid our children in their bassinette and I leaned over next to Jake and kissed him passionately on the lips. You know that old saying 'like paper and fire'? Well that's how it felt when I kissed Jake. My whole body lit up like he was lightning and I was the thunder. We are a perfect match for each other. Mommy and Daddy made out like teenagers for awhile and then it was time to feed the babies and put them to bed. Fortunately, Jake managed to keep the flames we made from getting too hot since I was 'out of commission' until some time in the future. We slipped out silently and migrated down to the kitchen. Jake had baby monitors throughout the cabin so we could hear the kids no matter what room we were in. There was a light knock on the front door. Emily and Rachel were here to watch the babies while Jake and I had dinner together for the first time as parents.

Rachel went up to the nursery to stay with her niece and nephew, while Emily set up the surprise dinner for us. She had the table set with flowers, candles and sparkling cider. There was a signature 'Emily' dinner of beef stroganoff, with salad and french rolls and red velvet cupcakes for dessert. She seated us at the table, then gave us hugs and kisses before she went upstairs to join Rachel in the nursery.

Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes and the food smelled so good. Jake and I ate silently at first. It was so nice to be able to spend some alone time with him and soon we were talking and laughing. I couldn't stop looking at him; he is just so beautiful. I loved the way the candlelight danced in his eyes. I wanted to be with him badly but there were two months of healing to get through before we could be intimate again.

'Waiting sucks but he's worth the wait, then Jake better watch out! Hormone changes suck! It's like I have no control over my feelings or desires and man he sure looks good enough to eat! Shit! I need to stop thinking like this, I need to take some time before I can pounce on him again! Ok, enough of that!' I tried to concentrate on the delicious meal before me.

We finished dinner and then had our dessert. I was so full and so was Jake. We were so tired; we went upstairs to say thank you to Em and Rachel and kiss our babies goodnight. In the nursery; Rachel was just covering the babies up with their blankets.

"Hey, Rachel, how are they doing?"

"Precious and fine! Em and I just changed them, they're not hungry yet but later...I'll try to wake you gently."

"Okay, thank you Rachel, we just wanted to kiss them goodnight before we went to bed."

"No problem guys, have at 'em."

We went to their crib and each took turns kissing our little boy and girl goodnight. We said night to Em and Rachel, walked into our room and closed the door. I changed for bed and so did Jake and we climbed under the covers. We laid there looking at each other for a while. Jake moved a strand of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

He smiled at me, I smiled back, we kissed and wrapped ourselves around each other. Sleep hit us pretty fast.

Jacob POV

I heard the babies a few hours later, got up and went to the nursery to check on them. Rachel motioned to two empty bottles that Bella had filled with breast milk that morning; giving me a kiss on the cheek as she went past, she slipped down the hall to her room. I whispered to my pups as I turned on the tiny lamp on the dresser and leaned over to peer into their little 'den'.

"Hey you two, what's the matter?"

I reached into the crib and picked up both Christi and her brother Joey. They each fit perfectly in my big hands. I sat in one of the rockers holding them and talking to them. I snuggled each babe into the crook of my elbow and we all fell asleep in the rocker. It felt nice to have my children in my arms. I hugged them close to my chest and they cuddled into my warmth listening to my heart beat as I fell asleep with them.

A/N: I had to stop there because it felt like a good spot to end this chapter. Hope you all enjoyed reading this so please read and review!... Chapter 16 is with my Awesome Beta!... MadMamaBear. As soon as she works her magic it will be up... Till next time my lovelies!