Disclaimer: It all belongs to SM. I only own the story line and whatever future characters decide to pop up.

A/N: I want to give a special thanks to madmamabear for being my Beta. Thank you so much for working with me on my story. It really means a lot to me. Luv Ya!

Please read and review, fave and follow. Love to hear from all of you! YOU GUYS SO ROCK!

WARNING!:

Some situations in this story may be too graphic for anyone under the age of 18. If you are under age stop here, if not please continue. The warning remains due to capricious plot bunnies!

What Could Have Been

CHAPTER 17

Sam handed Christi to her daddy who took her upstairs, changed her diaper quickly if not expertly, before bringing her back down, pressing a tender little smack on her forehead and giving her back to her uncle.

"All better now."

"How did you know she was wet?"

"Because, she woke me up and told me she was wet."

"She was down here with us and she didn't make a sound Jake," Bella said with a chuckle.

"Ah ha, but she did! I guess you can't hear her but I can. She and Joey talk to me all the time!"

Bella was confused, but Sam had this look on his face that said he knew exactly what Jacob was talking about.

"Jake? What do you mean the twins talk to you?"

"Babe, when they were less then a week old, they started talking to me. I can hear their thoughts in my head."

"But...I can't hear them!"

"It's a wolf thing honey; I'm the only one that can hear them."

"Maybe not the only one that can hear them. Billy is checking your family tree, Bella, because one of Charlie's ancestors was married to a member of our tribe," Sam supplied.

"I didn't know that!"

"Me either!" Jake said, looking interested in this new information.

Sam started explaining some things to them.

"So, the Elders are checking it all to see if Bella will be able to hear them too. She might be able to eventually but Jacob is a Chief and the rightful Alpha and that's why they 'speak' only to him no matter what form he's in, well, so far anyway."

"Sam! Enough for now."

"Sorry, Jake but I had to explain it to Bella so she could understand what's going on."

"It wasn't your place to speak for me." Jake seethed.

"Boys! That's enough! Okay? We will wait for the Elders to figure this out and by the way, I'm not mad about not being able to hear our children, that's okay but what upsets me is the fact that you two are fighting with each other in front of our children! That's what's pissing me off!"

"I'm sorry Bells, I have a lot on my mind right now and a decision to make."

"I'm sorry Jake, Bella, I should have held my tongue. It's not my place to speak for my future Alpha. I understand that completely. I'll see you all later, I'm going to patrol now. Goodnight all."

"Goodnight Sam, and don't worry, it'll be alright," Jacob called after his packmate.

"What's going on Jacob?"

"Nothing! Can we talk about this later? I just need some time to figure this out okay?"

"Alright. I'll give you until after the next doctor's appointment to figure this out and then I want to know what the heck is going on between you and Sam!"

"Alright Bella! Agreed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WCHB~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella POV

The week went by fast and Jacob was upset and irritable and also very distant to me and to our family. Emily stayed with Jake and Rachel went with me to my doctor's appoitnment for my six-week check up. Jake didn't have to come to this appointment, only the mommy and the babies were needed.

So Rachel and I went in to see Doctor Angeles together with the babies. Rachel watched the babies while the doctor did my exam and she told me I was healing nicely and I asked the 'burning' question.

"I was wondering if it's safe to have sex with my fiance again?"

The doctor sighed lightly and smiled at me.

"Bella you need to give it two more weeks before you do that okay? You need more time to heal. You just birthed two babies so it takes a bit longer. You two can 'make out', and oral sex is okay, just no intercourse for two more weeks."

"Okay." I stared at the design in the floor tiles and blushed furiously.

I found Rachel and we were on our way home. We stopped at the mall to get me some new clothes that actually fit since my stomach was getting smaller, almost flat again and I wanted to get some sexy clothes.

Rachel helped me pick out some really sexy outfits to wear for Jacob. I was a little embarrassed but Rachel said not to be because we were girls and it didn't matter that I was here with Jake's sister.

"We will get my little brother's attention and hopefully get him out of this mood he's in."

We went home and Jacob wasn't there. Emily was in the kitchen while Quil and Embry hung out for awhile. The boys heard us pull up and ran outside to help us with the babies and bags. Quil grabbed the shopping bags and Embry grabbed the twins' carseats and carried them inside the cabin.

Quil and Embry offered to watch the babies while Rachel and I tooks the bags of clothes upstairs. We unpacked them and put them in the wash to remove the sizing before hanging them up.

We all hung out and talked about anything and everything related to the babies to pass the time. We ate lunch together and spent more time with the twins. They were so tired from the long day at the mall, we put them down for their nap.

The girls and I went out and sat on the front porch drinking iced tea. In times past, I would be snuggled in the swing with Jake. Lately, however, I'd been on my own when there was a little bit of alone time available. I missed Jacob but what could I do? He needed time to figure things out on his own, whatever they were. I hoped he would come and talk to me about what was bothering him.

I asked Rachel, "Am I going to lose Jacob?"

"No! Of course not Bella! Jake loves you and he imprinted on you! He can't take that back, ever; and you two are engaged to be married soon, so stop stressing! Just give Jake whatever time he needs to make his decision and you'll see that everything will be okay."

I tried to take her words and reassurances as wisdom I didn't seem to possess. Time would tell.

The days went by quickly and Jacob was still very distant. He got up early and kissed the twins and me goodbye and was gone all day. And then he would come home and go straight to bed after kissing me goodnight. Jacob did this every night for two weeks straight.

One day Rachel and I left the babies with Emily and went off to my doctor's appointment to see if I was totally healed yet.

"Bella, I've checked you out thoroughly and it's safe for you to have sex again. Just make sure you use birth control. Do you want a shot or a prescription for the pill?"

I chose the shot and assured her I would be careful to not get pregnant again anytime soon.

The twins were two months old now and it would be our first Christmas together as a family. Jacob came in with a big tree and put it in the stand in front of the living room window. Emily and Rachel brought out the Christmas ornaments and we started to decorate the tree. I found an angel in the box, my mother had bought it for us for our tree in Phoenix.

Jake held the ladder for me as I climbed up to put the angel on top of the tree. Charlie brought two little picture ornaments with the twins' pictures in them for us to hang on the tree. We made lots of food and wrapped lots of presents. Jacob seemed to be in a better mood now that Christmas was here but January 15th is the date we chose for our wedding, the day after Jake's 18th birthday. Something was still not quite right and time was growing short.

I was trying not to be worried or fretful, but it managed to show through anyway. Our Christmas gathering in our home with our new family was a little off; just a bit strained. Or was this only my worry and dread that filled my heart not with the Christmas Spirit, but with fear and anxiety?

Jake laughed and joked with all our guests. Everyone got to hold the twins and play with them since they had learned to roll over and scoot themselves forward on their bellies. The baby antics were the hit of the evening. Everyone ate dinner and then we opened presents.

I got Jacob a beautiful native-made coat and he had bought me a heart shaped locket that opened up in three pieces, it had a picture of Christi on the right side and a picture of Joey on the left side and the middle was reserved for a wedding photo. This way I could carry my family with me.

We gave everyone a framed photo of us and the twins for Christmas. They all loved the picture and thanked us for them. Jake and I hugged and kissed each other under the misletoe after we exchanged our gifts. The twins got all kinds of toys and clothes as well as matching baby bracelets from the Tribal Elders. Emily made the twins baby blankets with their names and birth dates on them.

We had dessert after we were done exchanging gifts with our guests. I fed and put the twins down for the night. Jake and I kissed our babies goodnight and walked back downstairs to tell our guests that we'd chosen a date to get married.

"Okay, everyone! Bella and I have another announcement to make to all of you and we think you will like it," Jake said.

I was nervous but Jake kept me centered and focussed on what we were about to tell our eager families who had been waiting only somewhat patiently.

"Come on now, Jake, tell us!" Billy exclaimed anxiously.

"Okay, old man! I asked Bella to marry me, she said yes and the date is set for January 15th!"

"The day after your 18th birtday Jake?" Billy asked curiously.

"Yes it is, so now we have to plan a wedding!" Bella said excitedly.

"It's about damn time you two! We were getting old over here waitin' on y'all to make up your minds. I am very glad to be welcoming Jacob Black into my family!" Charlie laughed excitedly.

Jacob POV

Bella showed everyone the ring I got her and all of the girls loved it, the guys in the Pack too. It was heartwarming to see all of the guys welcoming Bella to our family because she would become a member of our tribe on our wedding day.

Being Chief and Alpha didn't seem so bad now but I still wanted to talk it over with Bella first. But that wasn't the only thing I had to tell her. I needed to be honest with her about Victoria and what happened that night.

The evening wore into the wee hours and everyone made the move to turn in for a long winter's nap. The babies were asleep and we had enough family in the cabin watching them so Bella and I could take a walk together for the first time in months. This was the perfect time to talk. I told my dad and Charlie that we would be slipping out for a bit and going for a walk and that we would be back in a little while. They told us to take our time and enjoy ourselves because Bella had pumped enough milk to feed the little ones for two days.

I put my coat on that Bella had given me and she put on hers and we went out for our walk that I hoped would allow me to talk about some things that were bothering me and that I really needed to open up to her about this night. We walked to the tree line that bordered the forest and sat down on a big log.

"Bells, I need to talk to you about some things that've been bothering me for awhile now. I need to make sure you're okay with it before I give The Elders my answer."

"Your answer?" she looked up at me quizzically.

"Yes. Honey, I was told that the Council thinks the reason I can hear our children is because I am the future Chief and rightful Alpha male of the Tribe and Pack and that this has happened with the kids because it's my destiny to lead my people. Being an Alpha means I am also tied to my children; bound to them in a different way but similar to Pack."

"Okay, what exactly does that mean Jake?" she asked worriedly.

"Bella, the Council wants me to become Chief whether I choose to lead the Pack or not. I will become the Chief of our tribe after I have taken a wife. They have accepted you as my choice of mate. This will happen after the wedding and you will become a member of my tribe once you've bound yourself to me forever."

"Alright, Jacob. This is what I've wanted and it sounds pretty straightforward, go on."

"I've been fighting my destiny to lead the Tribe since I phased for the first time and that argument with Sam was about me being the heir to lead the Tribe and becoming the Chief. I wanted to talk to you about this before we married, in case you decide to change your mind about having a Tribal Leader as a husband."

The blood seemed to drain from her face and she seemed ready to swoon. I reached my arms around her and supported her body to my chest as she gasped for air to sustain her reply.

"Do you think so little of me Jacob? I am in love with you completely and we are imprinted and already bound for life as far as I'm concerned. I won't lose you no matter what your destiny entails. We belong together forever and I'm not willing to give you up no matter what! I love you, can't you see that?" she replied with fear in her voice.

"I was afraid that you wouldn't want me because of the role I now must accept for my people!" I tried and failed to keep the irritation from my voice.

"Oh, Jacob! I will stand by your side forever as your mate and I am honored to become a member of our Tribe; the wife of the Chief. I know this life has been hard for you and things have a way of happening whether you want them to or not, but I am proud of you. No matter what you decide, I will be here with you always," my girl exclaimed with tears streaming down her cheeks. My heart swelled with hope and pride in spite of my misgivings.

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay with this Bells?" I asked apprehensively.

"Yes! I am sure! If this is what you want Jacob then I'm all in," she said with steadfast determination.

"I never wanted to be in a pack, let alone it's leader; but the 'magic' of our people has demanded that I step up and claim my birthright as Chief andAlpha of the Tribe. I'm scared I'm not a leader and I'm afraid I'll screw up and lives will be lost!" I cringed at my inability to keep the fear from my voice.

"Jacob, if the Council felt that you couldn't handle this, they wouldn't have asked you to lead the Tribe," Bella said with affection, compassion and respect.

"I know but it's a big responsibility for me; I mean I'm a father now, soon to be a husband. I own my own business and run it and now I'm to become Chief and Alpha of the Pack. I will also become a member of the Council and nothing gets approved without me agreeing to it," I said pensively.

"I have complete faith and trust in your ability to make the right decisions for our family and our people. You won't be doing this alone, Jake. The Council won't let you fail and neither will I. I've got your back always Jake. I love you very much and I always will," Bella chose her words wisely.

"I love you too and I am grateful for that love and support Bells," I caressed her cheek with love.

"Good, because if I had to hear you put yourself down one more time, I might have to risk breaking my hand slapping you senseless," she giggled.

"Alright Bells, I have something else I need to tell you about but I'm afraid you still might want to smack me after," I bowed my head and sucked in a deep breath to steel my nerves for the rest of this little talk.

"After all that? I think I can handle anything you throw at me," Bella smiled.

"We'll see. You remember awhile back when I was really late coming home?" I asked her apprehensively.

"Yes, I remember. You've been very distant since that night. I fell asleep after making dinner and you came home from work very late. Why were you so late Jake?"

"I was late because I was attacked and restrained by Victoria that night. I was closing up after reorganizing the shop and I smelled a familiar scent. I was hoping that it wasn't who I thought it was but I was very wrong. I was hit in the back of the head really hard and my vision blurred so bad that I couldn't see to react fast enough. She got the drop on me and chained me up in the lift bay; I couldn't get free to defend myself, even when my vision cleared. I vaguely heard her talking and then I saw her standing over me."

"Oh, God, Jake! Why didn't anyone else sense her?"

"Emb and the guys had already left for home and patrol; she knew I was all alone inside the shop. I tried so hard to get free, to get back home to you but I couldn't. Bella I hope you can understand that this is the reason why I've been so distant." I hung my head in shame before my beautiful girl.

"Why were you being distant because of her?" she asked.

"V-Vi-Victoria tried to rape me in several different ways that night, Bells. I've been afraid it might make me less of a man in your eyes."

"Jake! No! That's not possible! Baby, you are the strongest and most virile man I have ever known! You are amazingly tender and yet extremely sensual and I've loved every single second we've spent together. You helped me bring our children into the world and then lived through something that horrible and still came back to me. You are the best ever man and father Jacob."

"I would have been dead if Edward hadn't shown up to save me," Bella was holding me tightly in her arms and I was crying at this point. What would my girl think of me now?

"Ed-Edward?" Bella asked confused.

"Yeah Bells, Edward and the Pack found out what was going on because Alice had a vision of what Victoria was planning. Alice had been keeping an eye out for the bitch's decisions and when she found out she called the rest of the Cullens to come and help the Pack get me free from her. Jasper and Alice spoke to my dad and got permission to guard you and the babies at our home. Emmett snuck in the back after Edward destracted Victoria. If he hadn't shown up when he did, she would have raped me and either killed me or tried to turn me to replace her lost mate. Victoria wanted to hurt you by hurting me and in turn hurt Edward. Bella, she was watching us ever since you came to the reservation," I told her with tears in my eyes.

"Jacob, why didn't you tell me?" My lady was crying hard now. This was what I had feared.

"I was ashamed Bells. I was afraid you would view me as weak, especially if anyone else found out. Some future leader I am. Afraid to be seen as weak and vulnerable!"

"Did she touch you in that way, Jake? Did she force herself on you?" she whispered.

I swallowed hard to clear the huge lump that had formed in my throat and resolved to tell my mate the entire story, the whole truth. I owed her that and so much more but I had to look away as I said the next words.

"Y-ye-yes, she forced me to kiss her at first; then she started touching me in places I didn't want to be touched, not by her! She said she wanted to know why you wanted me so badly. She was going to have intercourse as well as oral sex with me. She unbuttoned my pants and was unzipping them when Edward startled her and got her to stop. After that Emmett silently approached me from behind and broke the chains that bound me. I leaped and phased in mid air before tearing her apart. She didn't know what hit her before I killed her," I was crying incoherently now.

"Jacob, come here baby," Bella pleaded, reaching for me.

I moved cautiously toward her and allowed myself to be comforted by her love. She wrapped her arms around me and cradled my body with hers; stroking my hair and shushing my sobs.

Narrator POV

They sat there for what seemed like hours but in truth was only minutes. Bella hummed a lullaby Sarah used to sing to them both at bedtime when Bella would stay the night at the Black's home. Jake trembled a few more minutes, blessing the day this wonderful woman came into his life and sniffling as the tears subsided. Bella wiped the last tears from his cheeks and kissed him softly.

"I am so very sorry you had to carry this burden alone for so long. You don't have anything to be ashamed of baby. It wasn't your fault that Victoria picked you that night and not me. Just think Jake, if she had gotten to me, she'd have simply killed me and I would never get to be with you and our babies again. Please don't beat yourself up any more over this. It's over now and you're safe and your Pack and I will never let anything like that ever happen to you again, okay? I love you for being so strong when you were faced with such horrors that no one ever should go through!"

She sniffled softly.

"You, don't see me as weak?" Jake asked, unsure of her response.

"Never Jacob! I am relieved that you have put your trust in me with this and I will stand with you if you want to talk to your dad about this," Bella assured him.

"I appreciate that a lot, honey. But I think I need to talk to him on my own," Jake replied calmly.

"Okay baby, but I am here if you need me," Bella responded with a smile that definitely reached her eyes.

A/N: This was hard to write without crying myself, because like our Jake here, I know what it feels like to feel and be helpless like that and to feel completely powerless to save yourself from that kind of situation. That is why I left the warning up because I didn't know how this chapter would write itself. The plot bunnies got in my head and made me write from experience. I hope you all enjoy this story and will continue to read it.

You guys Rock!

OXOXOXO

ALIXANDRIA