I don't own Divergent.

Hey, y'all. Thought I'd give you a quick update. I never really have much time any more. Hope you like this. I have like eight tests this week... XP. Anyway, enjoy...and Happy Chanukah/Merry Christmas/Happy Kwaanza!

Enjoy and R&R&F&F.

He obeys, looking at me the entire time. When the water is gone, I stand and return the glass and then join him in bed again.

"Love you," he says.

"Sleep, Tobias," I order, kissing his head. "You too," I add. I curl up with him and we drift off.

"Up," I say, poking Tobias.

"I'm not playing today," he grumbles.

"Of course you're not. But I need you to watch AJ for a little while." I grab the front of his shirt and lift him out of bed. "Take my son anywhere near Marcus - hell, take him out of this hotel room and I will end you, Tobias." I drop his shirt and grab him by the ear. "I'm not even joking, Tobias. I'm going to give Thom complete jurisdiction over what happens to you."

"You wouldn't let me die," Tobias argues feebly.

I pause. "No, I probably wouldn't, but I would let you be maimed." I release him. "Love you," I add, kissing him. "Don't leave the room."

"I won't," he replies, and then turns away from me.

I sit next to him and wrap my arms around him. "What's wrong?"

"You," he replies, turning to face me. "Setting up a tail for me, threatening to let them hurt me if I go after Marcus - you're not respecting me. Hell, you're not even trusting me."

I grimace. "I'm sorry, Tobias." I kiss his neck. "I wasn't trying to do that. I was trying to care for the people I love, you being at the top of the list, even above AJ." I kiss him, shifting to straddle him. "I do trust you, Tobes."

"Do you?"

"Of course!" I kiss his head. "I have them as a tail on you just as much to protect you from him as to keep you from going after him, if not more."

Tobias sighs. "You just don't get it."

"What don't I get?" I grip his shoulder.

Tobias looks down. "That I…" He chews on his lip. "It was immature," he mumbles. "I was joking with Zeke and I started talking about how I'd love to kill Marcus. I was drunk and so was he. I didn't know he took it seriously." He sighs. "And then I stuck with it…because you were paying attention to me."

I laugh. "Really?" I hug him. "I'm sorry, Tobias. Uriah was so upset about it that I automatically believed him."

Tobias gives me a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

I hug him again, this time grinding against him slightly. "No, Tobias. It's my fault. Completely my fault." Then I hop off him. "I'll tell Thom we've worked something out and he can go back to my dad."

Tobias nods, relief evident on his face. "That'll be nice. I always feel like he's judging me."

I shake my head, saying, "He's not judging, he's a bit jealous. Your job is much more glamorous than his, no matter how dedicated to this life he is."

Tobias shrugs. "Whatever you say." He gestures for me to come closer and gives me a quick kiss.

I hug Tobias to me firmly. "I love you, Tobias. I need to go to my dad's headquarters today -"

"Can I come to HQ?" AJ asks, cuddling under my arm.

"Bud, remember about knocking?" I kiss his head. "And not today. You and your dad are going to spend a day together. Maybe you can come with me tomorrow."

AJ sighs. "When can I see Uncle Caleb?"

"Soon," I promise. "I have to go now, though." I hug AJ and kiss Tobias. Then I tie my sneakers, grab my backpack, and go.

"Tris…" Tobias says, tone off.

"Yeah?"

"Why does your backpack have a knife hanging off of it?"

I take it off my shoulders. "Damnit. I thought I'd gotten that one in there."

Tobias stands and takes the bag off my shoulders. When he sees what's inside, his eyes nearly bug out of his head. He grabs my arm and leads me away from AJ. "What the hell, Tris? Why on earth would you carry that stuff with you, let alone allow AJ to be near it?"

I raise my eyebrow. "Tobias, it's just a few knives and a gun. And AJ knows he can't touch that stuff. My dad taught him that very well." I shrug. "I'm sure Dad will start teaching him how to fight soon, anyway. I think I was four the first time Dad showed me how to punch. Of course, I didn't start gun training until I was eight. I started knives when I was nine."

Tobias shakes his head. "I don't - I don't think it's a good idea for him to be around those kind of weapons."

"I -" I shake my head. "You know what, I'm going to go before I say something I'll regret."

Tobias sighs as I leave, grabbing my backpack and blowing AJ a kiss.

As I emerge from the L, I pull on a black baseball cap with the converse logo on it. My dad's scout nods, allowing me to pass. I jog to the door of the compound and nod to whoever's on duty, slipping in and jogging down the flights of stairs.

"Hey, man," I grunt to Maize.

"Hey, Tris." She gives me a side hug and continues on.

I nod to various people as I walk down the halls to where Dad's no doubt teaching some new initiates. I open the door to the training room. "Hey, Dad," I call.

Dad turns around, grinning. "Bea!" He turns back around, to the camera, and yells, "CALEB! GET IN HERE!"

Then he walks over to me and hugs me tightly. He takes my bag. "How are you? How's Four? AJ?"

"Four's leg got infected, but he's doing better." I smile. "And AJ's fine. Excited to be starting school."

Caleb races in and my brother and I hug tightly. "Beatrice," he breathes. "I missed you."

"You too, Caleb." I grin and hug him again. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine," he replies, holding me at arm's length and examining me. "You look great."

I ruffle his hair - he's apparently been letting it grow. It now flips out around his ears. "You, too, big brother."

Dad looks over to the initiates. "Initiates, this is my daughter, Beatrice. She's a member of Dauntless."

One initiates says, "Wait, is this Six? The Six?"

I look to Dad, who chuckles. "Yes, this is Six."

"I'm what?" I ask, poking Caleb.

"Your fears," Caleb reminds me. "There are six of them. Also, everyone who played softball knew of you. Number six."

I shrug. "Okay then." I wave to them. "What're they doing?" I ask.

"Knife-throwing," Caleb supplies.

I scowl and grab the knife Tobias had seen from my bag. I hurl it at a target and it gets buried hilt-deep in the middlemost ring, a black dot about the size of a quarter.

Dad nods and signs for me to retrieve it. I walk to the board and, hearing the telltale whizz, duck just in time. I grab my knife and roll my eyes at my father, who grins sheepishly. I get his knife, too, and toss it to him. He catches it hilt-first.

Caleb hugs me to him again. "I missed you, Bea." He grins at me. "I heard you were dating. Tell me who so I can threaten him."

"Four Eaton," I reply, grinning to myself.

"The baseball player?" Caleb asks, eyes wide.

"Yes, the baseball player," I say, rolling my eyes. "He's great."

"You know who his dad is, right?" Caleb hisses.

"Yes, I know," I hiss.

Caleb looks to me for a second. "Okay, then. Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"No."

"Then c'mon," he says.

Dad comes and sits at our table for lunch. Caleb and I have been here since about ten am. "Hey, kids."

"Hey, Dad," I say, patting the seat next to me.

"Where's AJ?" he asks, putting his tray down.

"With Four." I take a bite of my sandwich.

"And you think that's…safe?" Dad asks carefully.

"We worked it out," I reply. "He wouldn't put AJ in danger like that, anyway."

Caleb opens his mouth to say something, but Dad puts a hand on Caleb's shoulder to silence him. Then he sits down next to me. "How is Four's leg?"

"Better than a few days ago, but what he really needs is a lot of rest and antibiotics." I yawn. "So why'd you want me to come today, Dad?"

"To see us, of course," he says. "And, also…to start a little bit of the training, at least as far as understanding specifically what's going on."

I raise an eyebrow. "Dad, I understand exactly how you run the Divergents. You forget that I helped you run it for three years."

"Those three years were…a long time ago," Dad replies.

"You mean before I got raped?" I scowl. "Dad, it's not like that was the turning point of my life. I'm the same person I was before that."

"You did change, Bea," Caleb says. "But I don't think that was your turning point. I think your turning point was with AJ."

I shake my head. "I'm the same person!" I insist.

Dad sighs. "Okay, Bea."

"No! Don't -" I shake my head. "I need to cool off." I stand and walk out of the cafeteria, walking to my old room and putting the password in. It opens, and I sit on the bed, burying my face in my hands.

I want Four to be here now so badly. I chew on my lip. Hand shaking, I pull my phone out and dial his number.

"Hey, Tris," Tobias says.

"Hi," I whisper.

"AJ, sit down," he says, tone changing. "Sit there for a few minutes. I'm going to go in the other room and talk to your mom. Don't move, okay, bud? You can watch something on tv." He shuts a door and continues, "Tris? What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I just…needed to talk to you," I reply, voice cracking.

"I'll be right there." He opens the door. "Wait, where is there? Where am I going?"

I give him the outer address and tell him to text me when he's getting off the L.

Tobias, with AJ and his crutches, moves towards me as quickly as he can, gathering me into his arms. AJ wraps his arms around my leg, too. "Sorry you're sad, Mommy," he says. Then, glancing up, he adds, "Can I go see Papa and Uncle Caleb?"

Tobias kisses my forehead. I take AJ's hand. "Let's go, buddy. Puedes hablar con Tío Caleb y a tu Abuelo mientras tu papá y yo hablamos."

AJ nods and leads me to the door. Dad waits on the inside, and, seeing AJ and Tobias, lifts AJ into his arms and gives Tobias a look like, "Fix it!"

Tobias kisses my hand. "Where to?"

I begin to walk, knowing he'll follow. I unlock the door and pull him into my embrace. He drops the crutches and wraps his arms around me very tightly.

The sobs that shake my body are silent and, fortunately, tearless. Tobias walks me over to the bed and lays us down, holding me to him.

"T-T-T-" I stutter.

"It's okay," he soothes, rubbing my back.

"It's a-all coming b-back," I whisper, shuddering.

"Just calm down a little, and then we can talk," he says, blue eyes holding me in their calm grasp.

"Y-You don't understand." I take a shuddering breath. "The r-r-ra-"

"The rape," Tobias finishes, kissing a tear away from my eye. "Tris, he's never going to hurt you again. No one is ever going to hurt you again, if I have any say in it."

I shut my eyes tightly. "Before the - before Peter - before -"

"It's okay, I get it. Go on."

"- I was…a little different, I guess." I grip his shirt and pull myself closer to him. "I was lighter, I guess."

Tobias inhales deeply and kisses my head.

"Well, I guess that's obvious. But - I don't know, I guess it's just true. When - when -" I inhale with Tobias. "Peter…he…well, we'd been dating for a few weeks. Nothing serious, just out to coffee and lunch and dinner, once. He invited me to a party at his frat." I scowl, and Tobias hugs me. "I went. I didn't drink, I didn't touch anything. But then Peter made his way over. He gave me a coke. I didn't…I didn't - I trusted him. Turns out he'd spiked it, and, when I woke up, he was raping me and there was blood and -" I cough and Tobias clutches me to him more tightly.

"Tris -" Tobias says.

"And - and he was laughing," I add. "That's what I remember most. His laughter." I begin to sob again, and Tobias just holds me as tightly as he can, trying to make me feel safe, I guess. "I guess I'm just like every other stupid college girl that got raped," I whisper.

Tobias presses kisses to my cheeks. "Tris, what happened isn't to be brushed off. It did happen. It was terrible and I can't imagine how you might've felt, but…" He kisses my head again. "But it did happen."

I take shuddering breaths that slowly calm while I'm in Tobias' embrace, but he doesn't release me just yet. Instead, he shifts us so I'm above him, lying on his chest, and he's looking up at me. As my sniveling quiets to just calm breathing, he rubs my back and lets me breath his scent in. I slowly drift off into a comfortable sleep.

When I wake with a start, I grab for Tobias, having just had a dream about Peter, only to find he's not there. "Tobias?" I call.

He pops his head out of the bathroom. "You - I'm sorry. I just had to use the bathroom." He limps back over and kisses me on the head, settling himself beside me. "You okay?"

I wrap my arms around him and nod, yawning. "What time is it?"

"Three thirty," he replies, lips finding mine for a second. "How are you feeling?"

I pull away. "The better question is how are you feeling? Is your leg okay?"

Tobias pulls me onto his lap. "I'm fine, Tris." He smiles. "So you're feeling a bit better?"

I sigh and drop my head onto his shoulder. "Yeah. My dad…wants me to be retrained. Before Peter…raped me, I was basically my dad's second-in-command." I scowl. "Dad said I changed after the rape."

Tobias is silent for a second. "I think he's right."

"Tobias!"

"Just hear me out, love," he requests, kissing my neck slightly. "I think we change every single day. I think every little interaction, sight, smell, noise, feeling - I think it all changes us." He rubs my leg lightly. "You'd be a different person then you were five years ago regardless of whether or not you were raped."

I sigh. "That's reasonable."

"Yes, it is," he murmurs, lips finding my neck.

I allow him to kiss me for a little bit but then push him away. "I don't…"

"It's okay." He smiles. "I get it. Not today." Tobias sets me down and stands to stretch. "Hey, do you mind taking a quick look at my leg?"

I stand and settle him back on the bed. "Off with the jeans," I tell him, grabbing medical supplies from my bathroom. "Did you bring the ointment?"

He hands it to me and wriggles out of his jeans. He wore boxers today, which is probably good for if my father comes in.

I pat his thigh lightly and begin unwrapping his bandages. Tobias lies back and watches me. The bandages aren't stuck to him, but there's a little resistance when I pull them off. The cuts look better, but the infection is still there. I clean them with hydrogen peroxide and re-lather ointment on before re-bandaging him. Then I crawl up him and straddle his hips, just looking down at him. He sits up and wraps his arms around me.

A while later, there's a knock on the door, and Dad pokes his head in. "Oh-kay," he says. "Pants are not optional."

I just bury my head further into Tobias' neck, but Tobias chuckles. "Yes, sir. Tris was re-bandaging my leg, but I had to take my pants off to get to the cuts easily." He chuckles again. "The first time, I'd forgotten to wear underwear that day."

Dad closes his eyes and puts a hand over them like it's real. "Okay, um, well, that's a lot of information. I really only came in to check on you guys and let you know that dinner's ready, if you want it."

Tobias nudges me nearly imperceptibly. I shake my head and clutch his shoulders more tightly. "I think we're okay for now," he says. "Are you okay with watching AJ for a little longer?"

"Nat loves that little boy," Dad replies. "Your only worry should be if you'll get him back at all."

Tobias nods. "Well, um, maybe we'll come up later." He threads one of his hands into the hair at the base of my neck and holds my head to him. "See you later, Andrew."

Dad shuts the door and Tobias tucks his nose into a bit of my hair. He sits with his arms around me, protecting me, hugging me, for a long time. I honestly don't know when I drift off again, but I know he's still holding me when I do.

I wake sometime later to someone poking me. My eyelids flutter open, and Dad is leaning over me. "Up," he orders quietly. "Uniform on. I want you to train initiates today."

"Can Tobias come?" I murmur.

"Yes." He kisses my head. "I'm sorry about yesterday, Bea. You two should get up and go to breakfast now, though."

"What time is it?"

"Six thirty. Mom'll take care of AJ," he says. "I have to go."

I nod, and Dad slips back out. I sit up - Tobias must've gotten tired and laid us down - and fit my lips to Tobias, waiting until he kisses me back to pull away. "Good morning," I murmur.

"I'll say," he jokes, kissing me again.

I pull away, smiling at him shyly. "I have morning breath."

He rolls us over and pins me to the bed, kissing me again. "So?"

I smile slightly wider and pull myself flush with him. "C'mon, let me up. We have to go." I kiss his cheek. "My dad wants us to train initiates."

Tobias raises his eyebrow. "Me?"

"Well, he said I could bring you," I amend, slipping from underneath him. He flips over and watches me.

I look in the dresser for a uniform. "Damnit, he must've -" I mutter, and then look on my desk, where I see Dad has placed two uniforms, complete with the training shoes, which are slightly weighted. "Never mind, then." I pull my clothes off and dress in the smaller outfit.

Tobias watches, smiling at me sheepishly when he notices my gaze. "Sorry."

I kiss his head and hand him his uniform. "It's fine, baby." I slip into the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. Tobias soon joins me, not shaving, but following his normal routine. When we're both done, I lead him to the cafeteria, where he receives a normal Dauntless breakfast.

Tobias stares down at his food while I eat. "What?" I ask.

"I'm a MLB player and I don't eat this much protein," he says.

"Eat up," I say. I put an apple next to his plate. "You can eat this while we walk. You have five minutes to eat as much of that as you can."

Tobias, sighing, begins to eat.

I open the doors to the training room, Tobias - and his crutches - at my side. "Hello again, initiates," I say crisply.

"Six," they chorus.

"This is Four. He'll be watching today," I inform them, selecting a slingshot from the wall. "Who's your best shot?"

"Matthew," they says quickly.

"Very well." I hand the slingshot to the guy they indicated. He's maybe eighteen, with closely-cut dark hair and chocolate-colored skin. "Matthew, take your best shot at that target over there."

He aim the slingshot and hits the red ring around the middle black dot. "Sorry."

"Close, but not quite good enough." I pluck the pen from Tobias' left front pocket. "What I plan to teach you today is how to be resourceful. How to make a weapon out of, say, a pen."

Tobias snatches it out of my hand. "But not that pen."

I chuckle. "I know not that pen, Four. It was just an example." I hug him and kiss his cheek. "Can I have the one in your other pocket?"

He sighs. "What are you, telepathic?"

"No, but we live together," I quip. "I've learned." I raise an eyebrow. "Which drawer do I keep my favorite socks in?"

"Your sweatpants and basketball shorts drawer," he replies immediately. "Wait, how did I know that?"

"You watch," I reply, cracking the pen open. The initiates have gathered. "Anyway, within a pen, you have a sharp tip, a usually a spring, oftentimes ink and plastic tubing, and of course the outside of the pen. All of these things can be used as a weapon in worst case scenario." I set the pen on the table. "Make one."

Tobias and I slip out of the huddle of initiates and I hop up on a table next to him. He leans over and kisses me, sneaking an open-mouthed kiss before I pull back, grinning, and pinch his hip. "You said no open-mouthed kisses until after you brushed your teeth," he explains. "You've brushed them, remember?"

I chuckle and give him a quick kiss. "Yes, I remember." I run a hand over the stubble covering his cheeks. "I kind of like this." I kiss him again. "Maybe you should keep it."

Tobias smiles mischievously and kisses me. "If it means I can kiss you as much as I want, then, by all means, I'll keep it!"

I hug him. "Not as much as you want." I chuckle. "Then I wouldn't have anything to taunt you with."

"That wouldn't be too bad," he shoots back. Tobias takes my hand with his right hand and rubs my knee with his left.

"Then how on earth would I be able to leave you with blue balls?" I ask, grinning.

"I'm perfectly fine with normal-colored balls," he replies.

"But that's not nearly as much fun." I tickle him for a second. "See? Now that's also fun."

"And it doesn't leave me with blue balls," he adds. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. "I love you."

"You, too," I murmur, hugging him back.

"Six?"

"Yeah?" I sit up and release Tobias.

"We think we have something," an initiate pipes up.

"Well, bring it over here," I order. Tobias doesn't lift his arm.

The group walks over and quite possibly the smallest of them hands me a pen, but a reassembled pen. "When you press the clicker," she starts, voice accented, "it shoots the tip out at a fast enough speed to injure someone."

"Would it kill?" I reply.

"Perhaps. It depends on what artery you rupture."

"And as for the aim?"

"Not great, but you'd need to be pretty close for the tip to make it in anyway." Matthew steps forward and take the pen from me. "I could aim it well enough, but it wouldn't work unless I was within two or so feet."

I hop off the table and fetch a dummy from the closet. One of the Erudites here - they're still Divergents, but they don't fight like the Dauntless do - designed them so that they bleed like a real person and, when they've "bled out", a big black x appears on their chests. "Show me."

Matthew aims the pen carefully and clicks it. It hits the neck, and the dummy slowly begins to bleed, but not quickly enough to kill it.

I pull another pen out of my pocket. "Make it better. I want one that can kill." I heave Tobias off the table and hand him his crutches. "We'll be back. I'm going to go get more pens." I give them a hard look. "Fool around and you'll see just how good my fighting skills are."

Tobias chuckles when we're out of earshot. "I know that you're violent, but you wouldn't actually hurt them."

"Maybe," I say. "It's how we toughen initiates."

"But - don't they already come from lives on the streets, in gangs, stuff like that?" Tobias asks, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah, so?"

"So…they probably don't want to be injured more," he replies.

"This is just how it works, Tobias," I say, grabbing a box of pins and a box of tampons from the supply cupboard.

"What're the -" he gestures to the pack of tampons - "for?"

I chuckle. "The tampons? I'm going to make the initiates make weapons out of them."

Tobias looks down at his feet as we walk (or crutch) to the training room. "That'll be interesting."

I nod and kiss his cheek. "I think we should split them into two groups. Boys and girls." I hold the door for him, and he goes through and sits on the table. I toss the boxes to initiates. "Finish the pen challenge, and then split into boys or girls - or whatever you identify as - and work on a new weapon with one single tampon."

The initiates sigh and huddle back up. I sit next to Tobias again. He takes my hand and we just sit there. Suddenly AJ runs in and jumps onto the table, almost making it and then falling. I laugh and nod at him. "Try again."

AJ pouts. "Mom!"

"Try again," I repeat, voice changing.

AJ sighs and does another running jump, this time making it. He pulls himself into my lap.

"Where's Nana, buddy?" I ask, rubbing his back. I notice he's now wearing the blue sweater Tobias' step-grandmother knitted.

"She wanted to take a nap," he replies, yawning.

"I think someone else needs a nap," I say.

"I'm not tired," he argues, rubbing his eye.

"Just lay down, bud," I encourage.

AJ nods and presses his face into my stomach. Soon, his breaths have evened and he's limp in my lap. I lean on Tobias, who wraps an arm around me, pressing a kiss to my temple. He whispers, "I love you. Both of you."

I nod and, with the hand that's not supporting AJ, rub the inside of Tobias' thigh for a few seconds. Then I set my hand on his knee.

Tobias places his other hand on AJ, who snuggles closer in his sleep. Tobias leans down and whispers in my ear, "Will you marry me?"

I tilt my head up to look at him and fit my lips to his. "Not yet."

He smiles bitterly. "How much longer?"

I shrug. "I'm not…I don't feel ready."

Tobias nods and pulls me closer. "I love you."

I nod. "I know you do. If you loved me any less, you wouldn't wait."

"Then I guess you're lucky I love you," he teases.

"I guess I am," I reply. I shift AJ over to his lap. "I'm going to go check up on the initiates. Make sure he stays asleep." I glide over to the initiates and watch their work. "How's it going?" I say, startling most of them.

"Fine."

"Good, because you have five minutes. Whatever you have then will be the grade for the assignment." I raise my eyebrows. "And I suggest you all participate."

I walk back to Tobias and run my hands through his hair. "I'm going to use the bathroom. Make sure they don't go too crazy."

"Yes, ma'am." He kisses my head. "Have fun."

"You perv," I tease. Then I walk to the bathroom.

Tobias and I settle AJ into bed in his bed at Mom and Dad's house and then return to my room. Tobias strips down to his boxer-briefs (provided by my father) and brushes his teeth. I change into sweatpants and a sports bra and join him in the bathroom.

When Tobias sees me, he kisses my cheek. "I don't know how you do it, but you make even sweats and a sports bra look stunning," he murmurs.

I hug him. "And those boxer-briefs are fabulous," I reply, pinching his butt through the soft cotton.

He squeaks. "Fuck!"

I chuckle and kiss his cheek. "You ready for bed? I'm exhausted."

He nods and scoops me up, fitting his lips to mine. I thread my fingers into his hair. When he sets me down, I'm beneath him on the bed. "I didn't know you had a personality like that," he murmurs.

"We all have aliases," I reply, lips brushing his again.

Tobias nods. "True." He nubs his nose against mine. "But yours is…unlike you."

"No shit, Sherlock," I tease, pulling him onto me slightly.

He lets out a breath at the contact. "God, Tris."

I hug him and drop back down to the bed. "I'm tired."

"Tris," he groans.

"G'night," I reply, snuggling up to him and shutting my eyes tightly.