Sorry it's been a while! Please review if possible, they make me smile. XO
Carla groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa, leaning the crutches beside her and pushing her hair out of her face. She smiled halfheartedly up at Michelle and took the coffee from her, watching the steam rise as she concentrated on the boiling liquid, resting it n her tracksuit covered thigh. She leaned back onto the sofa, struggling to pull her legs up and make herself comfy before rolling her eyes at Michelle as she asked if she was okay.
"Sorry, I don't mean to keep on. I just care, Carla.." Michelle bit her lip, sitting on the armchair opposite Carla.
Carla nodded, "I know you don't. Sorry for being such a miserable cow love." She sighed, sipping her coffee before staring into space, not really in the mood for small talk.
She half listened to Michelle, nodding and responding every so often as though to appear to be listening but she barely heard a word she said, her mind somewhere else completely, somewhere she would much rather be.
Later that evening Carla eventually persuaded Michelle to take some time for herself and head home, telling her that her that Steve would need her too and that she could do with some alone time, desperately hoping she would listen.
After struggling for long while with a glass, a bottle of wine and her crutches, Carla eventually managed to find her way to the kitchen table, sitting back with an infuriated sigh before pouring some wine and drinking it back quickly. She knew she wasn't meant to drink on her medication but that was the last thing on her mind. She was tired. Tired of being the victim, tired of being mollycoddled, tired of being in need. Especially when the one thing she needed she couldn't reach. Or rather, she was too scared to try.
Carla rubbed her head, drinking back the wine quicker than she realised, topping up her glass almost constantly. She allowed her eyes to close, her mind wandering to when times were easier than this. She had known hurt since she was a child, known what it felt like to be scared and alone when all she wanted was love and comfort. Liam. Liam had taken up almost all of her childhood and most of her adult life too. Wanting him, craving him, missing him, needing him, loving him. He was still always there, she still thought about him every day at least.
Now she was tormenting herself again, over another man, another person who she had again let in, loved and trusted and wanted and needed so very desperately. She felt as though he had been ripped away as well, as though everyone was always taken away.
Carla hardly slept since leaving the hospital and every time she did her dreams were plagued with the same memory over and over again. His lips mouthing her name and then before she knew it, the back of his head. His old battered leather jacket heading out the door quicker than she could stop him. She wasn't enough the first time and she wasn't enough that time. Experience told her she probably wouldn't be enough this time but the wine and desperation for once outweighed her fear and before she knew it her fingers were typing his number and her phone was by her ear.
Her breath hitched in her throat as he answered but neither of them spoke, neither of them dared. All that could be heard was the sound of their nervous breathing, though Carla was sure she could hear the shock and nerves in Peter's voice despite him saying no words at all.
She broke the silence first, her voice shaking in fear and want and most of all, love.
"Peter..."
He responded with her name in return, speaking so softly. She had always loved the way her name sounded in his voice. The way it sounded so right. She thought to herself that the way it sounded hadn't changed, the love still appeared so clearly. Though she wondered if maybe she was imagining it, bringing it to life because she was desperate for that to be the truth.
"Peter, I need you..."