The two years that have passed since Chloe and Aubrey officially got together have passed more or less smoothly, each woman settling into their role in the relationship comfortably. Even the continued taunting from the other Bellas doesn't faze them much anymore, though Chloe occasionally worries about how seriously Aubrey takes trying to live up to their standards. It's been the cause of a few tense moments over the years, but Chloe refused to let Aubrey push her away, especially over the actions of a few women who should have nothing to do with their relationship.
And at the same time, she refuses to let Aubrey push herself too hard to please them. She has a hard enough time keeping her girlfriend from working herself to death over schoolwork and parental expectations, she's not going to let her stress over a few bitches whose opinions mean nothing in the long run.
She mostly succeeds, until Alice gives Aubrey a solo for Nationals. Chloe is insanely proud of her girlfriend, but she also knows Aubrey is likely to let the stress get to her if she thinks about it too much. So Chloe makes sure to revisit the calming exercises from their freshman year, and makes sure that Aubrey knows she's right there for her every step of the way.
She thinks she's succeeded as the solo winds down, until Aubrey loses it, vomiting all over the first few rows. As soon as Chloe realizes what's happened she's at Aubrey's side, rubbing circles on her back as she heaves again. When Aubrey finishes vomiting, Chloe immediately pulls her into a hug, ignoring the mess. All that matters is Aubrey.
When Alice goes to say something, Chloe just glares at her, all but daring her to start something. And even though Chloe has never so much as raised her voice to any fellow Bella, something in the look clearly startles the senior, and she cuts off whatever it was that she was going to say mid syllable.
Chloe knows the silence won't last, but if she can get Aubrey through the immediate reaction, she thinks her girlfriend will be able to stand up for herself when the silence ends. Not that Chloe will ever stop defending her, but it's always better when they stand together. Together, they can get through anything.
XXXXXXXXXXX
She doesn't exactly doubt that they can get through once the activity fair starts their senior year, but Chloe is definitely starting to question how well they'll be able to do on the way. So far they have no solid prospects, and Aubrey has started to shake next to her with every refusal. With the way the fair is going, Chloe is debating whether or not they should even stick around.
When their first potential recruit ends up being nothing like a traditional Bella, she thinks that maybe things are starting to look up, if Aubrey is even willing to consider filling the spots with a different kind of Bella. That still leaves them short at least seven potential Bellas, but at least they have a few more options.
Chloe is discussing that possibility and a few more of the potentials that have passed by their booth for a moment when she notices someone walk up to their booth out of the corner of her eye. Chloe turns to introduce herself, and finds that words desert her. Because as soon as she looks at the brunette in front of them, everything changes color.
And she can see a look of shock on the brunette's face, as the shorter girl quickly shifts her gaze to Aubrey, then down at the table between them. And Chloe can tell that Aubrey has gone stiff next to her, but she's so thrown by the change that she can't think of anything to say to reassure her girlfriend. It's just as overwhelming as the first time she'd seen Aubrey, but how can that possibly be?
She barely registers that Aubrey is as silent as she is, and decides that any conversation is going to be her responsibility to start. "So, are you interested in joining our A Capella group?" she asks, mentally kicking herself for falling into the sales pitch she's been spouting all day. She's just so confused by everything that's going on, she fell back on the familiar words. She notices then that her hand has found Aubrey's without her realizing, and she's running her thumb over the soulmate's band she'd given her their sophomore year. It seems to be calming them both, but Chloe notices the freshman staring at their joined hands before finally meeting their eyes again.
"Oh right, this is like, a thing now" she says, a barely noticeable tremor in her voice.
"Oh, totes" Chloe says with a smile, suddenly desperate to reassure the girl. "I'm Chloe, and this is Aubrey. We're part of the Barden Bellas, the best of Barden's four A Capella groups." She falls into explaining the A Capella culture and history, and thinks that things are going fairly well. The freshman is relaxing, and Aubrey's hand isn't shaking in hers.
Then the girl calls A Capella lame, and Aubrey switches to bitch mode next to her in the blink of an eye. Chloe tries to salvage the situation when she actually calls the girl a bitch, but she feels like she's fighting a losing battle. "Look…"
"Beca" the girl supplies at Chloe's questioning look.
"Look, Beca. A Capella is an amazing experience, and the Bellas are a close knit, talented group of ladies whose dream is to return to the National finals at Kennedy Center this year" Beca is at least not grinning insolently at Aubrey anymore, so maybe this is helping. "Help us make our dream a reality?" And okay, so maybe the scripted line of her standard pitch wasn't the way to go in this situation, but the rush of colors around them and the strangely overwhelming sense of connection are throwing Chloe off.
Still, from the way Aubrey is back to trembling next to her, Chloe guesses she remembers the occasional conversations were Chloe has admitted to dreaming about how amazing things would be once she met her soulmate and could see all the colors around her. And obviously her girlfriend can tell that something is off, and that it's entirely to do with Beca.
"Sorry, but I don't even sing" Beca is saying, and Chloe feels her heart drop. "But, it was really nice to meet you guys." And with that she's disappearing into the crowd, leaving both of the women behind her staring.
Chloe forces herself to turn and meet Aubrey's eyes, only to find anything she was going to say lost as she notices the new depths of color in them. As many times as she's looked at Aubrey, as many times as they've made eye contact, this is finally what Chloe knows she's supposed to see. Now if only she knew what was going on to cause it. Right now all she really knows is that something has changed, and they really need to talk.
Apparently Aubrey agrees, because when the blonde sees that there's only thirty minutes left of the fair, she wordlessly starts packing up the table, motioning for Chloe to keep handing out fliers so they lose as little time as possibly. Once everything is packed and stored away, Chloe isn't surprised when Aubrey pulls them to the nearest set of gray rooms. They've been their comfort spot since freshman year, and Chloe knows they help when Aubrey starts to get self-conscious about their colorblindness, though they've been mostly using them for other stresses over the past year. Chloe finds herself grateful for the habit, even with only going from colorblind to what she has to assume is full color she's started to get overwhelmed by the added amounts of sensory input.
"What. The hell. Was that." Aubrey starts as soon as the door closes. Chloe can tell she's more upset than pissed, but she still hates that she's hurt her girlfriend. Still, she's never lied to Aubrey before, and she's not going to start now. Of course, that doesn't' mean she has any idea what to say.
"I don't know Aubrey, I swear. One minute, we were talking, then Beca was there, then something changed." Even though she won't lie to her girlfriend, Chloe will try to avoid making it sound like Beca made color appear for her. Aubrey did that for her, Aubrey is her soulmate, and if she's feeling insecure after how Chloe acted, the last thing Chloe wants to do is make it sound like Chloe is replacing her.
"You saw colors, didn't you" comes the unexpected response, and Chloe wonders how Aubrey could possibly have known.
"Yes, but Aubrey, I swear I don't know what it means, and I still love you, please believe me. I will never choose anyone over you, you are y soulmate, my best friend, and everything I have ever wanted." Aubrey seems to lose some of the tension from her posture as Chloe speaks, and by the end has stepped close enough that she can pull her girlfriend into a hug.
"I know, Chloe" comes the soft whisper into her hair. "I'm still happy to hear you say that though."
"How did you know?" Chloe has to ask when the hug ends and they've settled onto the couch, where she's snuggled into Aubrey's side. She can feel her girlfriend tense a little at the question, but the answer comes with no hesitation.
"Because I did too." And now Chloe's brain is racing, trying to imagine what it could possibly mean. And she knows Aubrey is probably doing the same, thinking and overthinking enough for the both of them. They need a distraction or they're both going to end up obsessing about this.
"I know we have a lot to think about" she says before they can get to caught up in their individual thoughts. "But how about we try to forget all of that for a while, and go back to the color museum. We may not know why this happened, but it did, and we should take some time to get used to it." She thinks Aubrey is about to argue, but after a moment of clear internal struggle she shrugs instead.
"As much as I'd like to head home and start looking up anything I can find about what this means, I know you're not going to let me dive in headfirst. And I am interested in seeing what that color wheel is actually supposed to look like, now that you mention the museum." Chloe may be surprised at how easily her girlfriend agreed to the idea, but she isn't going to argue. Not with the outcome or the rationalization.
Over their three years together, first as friends then as girlfriends, Chloe has learned every possible method of keeping Aubrey from getting too into whatever it is she's working on, after realizing that her single-minded focus could get to the point where she would even forget to eat. At least this time Aubrey has enough warning that she's slipping into hyper-focus mode that she doesn't fight Chloe's distraction, or insist that it isn't needed.
"It's not like answers are going to disappear if we take a few hours to breathe. And you know you study better when you aren't stressed." As much as Chloe wants answers, she does believe that they need to slow down, or Aubrey will turn this into another reason to push too hard. And none of the answers are worth risking that.
XXXXXXXXXX
This is only their second visit to the color museum, both of them agreeing after the last visit that going back would be pointless. And to Chloe, the sight of so many missing shades would have been a reminder of the dreams she'd set aside. She's found new dreams after being with Aubrey, has been happier than she'd ever dreamed possible, but there's a definite bittersweet edge to the memories of the first visit that she didn't want to bring up with another trip. And even though Aubrey has never said anything, Chloe thinks it would have been a reminder to her girlfriend of her 'failure' to live up to the perfect ideal her father had expected from her.
Now that the missing shades have somehow appeared, Chloe thinks that another trip will make up for the last one's disappointments. And sure enough, when they walk in and see the color wheel that had been almost blah last time, all that Chloe can think is "this is what music sounds like". As bland as the wheel had been last time, Chloe had been completely unprepared for the sight in front of her now.
"Oh my god" she hears Aubrey say, but she can't tear her eyes away from the wheel in front of them. She does reach out for her soulmate's hand, meeting it halfway as Aubrey reaches for her as well, each drawing balance and comfort from the other. They stand there in silence for a long moment, just letting the colors wash over them, before turning as one to the first introduction room.
Even with each color simplified and separated from the others, after a while Chloe starts to feel overwhelmed, and pulls Aubrey towards the gray alcove to catch her balance. Aubrey seems to be dealing with the stimulus better, but follows her without argument or hesitation as Chloe settles into the alcove. "Hey, you okay?" she asks after a minute, holding Chloe close as she breathes deeply and focuses on the soothing monotones around them.
"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting it to be so overwhelming. It's not like it all hit at once, we already had colors in our lives, but it's all just so much more intense this time." And Chloe really hadn't meant to bring anything up while they're here, but she can't seem to help herself. She just hopes she's not hurting Aubrey as she lets it out. "I just can't figure out why this is happening, or what it could mean, and when I see the shades of green I think of your eyes and how beautiful they are, and wonder how I didn't get to see them like this for the past three years, because I never thought I could find you more beautiful than I did yesterday, but now I could spend hours just looking into your eyes. But then I see all the shades of blue we'd been missing, and I remember Beca's eyes, and I just don't know what's going on."
She's ready to keep going, words and explanations fighting in her head to get out, desperate to find some kind of relief from the jumbled mess they're currently in. But Aubrey quiets her with a gentle kiss, and Chloe melts into it with a sigh. No matter what confusion she feels, her love for the blonde is a layer of certainty beneath it all, and the kiss is a physical touchstone to that certainty.
"I know what you mean" Aubrey says when the kiss ends. "But no matter what, I love you and we can get through this together. That's what you're always telling me, right? So let's just enjoy this day together, and at least for now consider it all a gift."
Chloe nods in agreement, but moves closer to Aubrey, needing a few more seconds of closeness before she's ready to head back out. But before she's quite ready to let go of her girlfriend, she hears someone nearby and reluctantly steps back, not wanting to share the moment with anyone else.
"Oh dear, sorry to interrupt you two!" she hears a vaguely familiar voice say. "It's a bit overwhelming for a first trip, isn't it?"
"It's actually not our first trip" Aubrey says, reaching out to rest her hand on Chloe's arm with a smile.
"Yes, I remember you two! It's been quite a while since I've seen you here. We don't usually get repeat visits when…" The woman trails off into silence, leaving the sentence unfinished as she blushes. Not that either of them needed her to finish the sentence, they both know exactly what she meant. There isn't a lot of draw to a colorblind individual in a color museum. And while there isn't much social stigma towards the condition, it's still considered impolite to bring it up when you aren't familiar with how an individual feels about it.
"Well, something changed, so we decided it was a good idea to make a second first trip, in a way" Chloe says lightly, glossing over the awkward moment with a quick smile. But the lady just looks confused, staring between the two questioningly "We um… we're not colorblind anymore" she continues when the silence stretches on long enough to be uncomfortable.
"You're not… But it's not something that goes away" the worker says incredulously. "Especially not for two people." She sounds so surprised that Chloe is trying not to be upset by her words, reminding herself that this is a happy thing for her and Aubrey.
"Well, it did happen" Aubrey snaps, obviously bothered by the woman for some reason beyond what Chloe is feeling. "We were together this morning, and suddenly the rest of the colors showed up. For both of us." Chloe reaches out and grabs Aubrey's hand as she speaks, giving it a reassuring squeeze in hopes that it will keep her calm.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" the lady rushes to apologize. "It's just that, our eyes don't change, our souls do when they meet their other piece. That's where the colors come from, the recognition of the beauty of true completion . For someone to be colorblind then suddenly not, it doesn't make any sense."
Chloe can tell Aubrey is starting to tense again, but the honest feeling in the woman's voice as she describes the process has nearly melted her own frustrations. Then an idea occurs to her, and she nearly gasps before biting her lip. Aubrey isn't going to like this. But she has to know, so with a deep breath and a squeeze of her soulmate's hand, she asks. "If it takes meeting a soulmate, then could our colorblindness have been caused not by an issue with our eyes, but instead by the fact we were missing a piece? Because the rest of the colors came when we met someone at the activity fair this morning."
From the way Aubrey is trembling next to her, Chloe knows she's upset, but she surprisingly doesn't interrupt of speak when she finishes, and Chloe wonders if maybe Aubrey was thinking the same thing, just hoping she was wrong.
The woman in front of them is frowning slightly, as if trying to remember something. "There have been rumors of that happening, but most people assume that they're just stories. In my twenty years of working here at the museum, I've never seen it happen. Until now, apparently."
Chloe can tell that Aubrey is fighting to keep her control, so with a few polite exchanges to end the conversation, she says goodbye to the lady and leads Aubrey out of the museum. Ten can come back another time, or not, but right now they need to be alone to talk about this.
By unspoken agreement they're both quiet until they reach their apartment and settle in, neither wanting to start and stop the conversation once they get going. "There's no way" Aubrey finally says once they're settled in, each with a glass of wine in hand to help soothe their nerves. "We're happy, we love each other, and we're complete. There's no way we need this girl."
"We may not need her, Aubrey" Chloe responds, "but how else can you explain this? We both went from colorblind to not the second we met her eyes. Yes we're happy, and yes we love each other, but what else could that mean?" Chloe isn't trying to hurt Aubrey, never wants to make her question what they have, but she isn't willing to hide form an answer either. If Beca is somehow their third soulmate, Chloe believes that there has to be a reason for that.
"I don't know, Chloe, but even if that's a possibility, we're happy together. We make each other better. I can't lose that, Chloe. I can't lose you." There's an honest pain in Aubrey's voice that Chloe hates to hear, and she hurries to reassure her girlfriend.
"You won't Bree, I'm not going anywhere, I promise you."
"Then why do we need to talk about this? What is worth even risking it? Can't we just ignore it and move on?" The pain is still there, with an edge of desperation and insecurity that has Chloe tempted to give in, just to hear it disappear. But she learned early on in their friendship that giving in to Aubrey's stronger personality with no care for her own wants only made trouble between them. Living together all last year had reinforced that, and taught each woman how to balance their needs and personalities.
So despite the urge to just give in, Chloe speaks up instead. "I can't ignore it. Aubrey, we met her for a reason, you know I believe that. Just like I believe you and I met for a reason." Chloe takes a deep breath and takes both of Aubrey's hands in her own, staring into her girlfriend's eyes. "You and I, we took a while to get started. You were nervous then too, but look at us now. This doesn't have to be a bad thing." Aubrey is meeting her eyes, but Chloe sees no acceptance there.
"I don't know, Chloe. I don't think I can. She just, she just set me on edge. I can't help but feel like it's a bad idea. And she left the booth without saying anything. Maybe she isn't willing to try either." Chloe won't push Aubrey on this, they've both been honest about how they feel, and any decision made after this will be based on that fact. And as much as Chloe wants to settle this, she knows that after such an emotional day, they're in no place to make the decision.
So instead of continuing the conversation, Chloe turns and cuddles into Aubrey's side, wanting the closeness for reassurance. Aubrey seems to need it as well, pulling her close as they sit in silence.
"No matter what else, I will always love you" Chloe says quietly after a while, leaning up to kiss Aubrey's cheek.
"I love you too" comes the soft response, each woman settling back into silence as they get lost in their individual thoughts.