Beca still isn't entirely certain what made her agree to audition for an a capella group, though she has to admit that something about Chloe's eyes was probably the biggest push. She doesn't know anything about the other girl, won't even admit that she probably had something to do with the colors that now surround her, but when Chloe had argued so passionately for her to join, Beca couldn't seem to refuse her.
The look in those eyes had even gotten Beca through the embarrassment of singing where other people could hear her, and Beca couldn't manage to look away the entire time. She'd been aware that Aubrey was getting upset with her the longer she kept the eye contact, but Beca couldn't help it. Something about the look of pure belief on Chloe's face had captured her and wouldn't let go.
That was why she'd run as soon as auditions ended, not wanting to face either woman. She doesn't know what's going on, but she knows none of this was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be avoiding the two, not willingly putting herself I a positon where she'd see them all the time. She's not even considering the possibility that she won't make it into the group, there's no way Chloe will let her off the hook that easily.
And there's a part of her, a small and decidedly traitorous part, that's glad the older woman is taking the initiative. Because even with the continued avoidance of the past month, she hasn't been able to forget her, or Aubrey, or the questions the two of them raised
She's walking slowly back to her dorm after her late class,, lost in thought, when the hood is thrown over her head and she feels someone grab her arms. She's about to start struggling when she hears a familiar voice. "Easy Beca, it's initiation night" comes Chloe's soft reassurance, and without hesitation Beca follows along, questioning all the while how the woman manages to disarm her so easily. She reminds herself repeatedly that she doesn't actually know the woman, but she's still following the guidance of the hand it hers as she's led off who knows where.
She watches Chloe and Aubrey interact through the oath, and Chloe's wink after her protest about drinking throws her completely. Because the women are definitely wearing matching rings, and the way they act together is definitely couple behavior. Not that they're making out or hanging on each other, but they're obviously constantly aware of each other, comfortable with each other in a way that goes beyond just friends. So why is Chloe winking at her like that? And why does the universe have to do this to her?
She's almost embarrassingly grateful to get to the hood night party and away from the questions they're raising. She even finds herself hoping for a distraction from Jesse, knowing he likes her, though he's claimed many times at the radio that he's waiting for a woman who makes his life sound like the best movie soundtrack he's ever heard. She also knows from those conversations that he's one of the people who believes in casual dating for fun while you wait to find your soulmate, and that he assumes Beca's wardrobe choices mean she hasn't met hers yet.
So Beca finds herself responding to his flirting, needing the distraction as she tries to avoid the way Aubrey is glaring at her. She's not intending to go anywhere with it, but he's safe, and doesn't make her think. And after the emotions of the day, a cup of beer and not thinking sounds really good.
Of course, as soon as Jesse leaves, Chloe pops up in front of her, and Beca is left really wishing she had those beers right about now. Especially because Chloe is clearly on her way to tipsy, and Aubrey is still glaring. And Beca can already tell that things with the blonde are going to be tense, so the glare just provokes her this time, and she finds herself flirting with Chloe, knowing it's dangerous territory but finding herself not caring. Tomorrow at practice will be the time for regrets, tonight she's feeling almost stupidly brave.
Of course, the bravery has its cost, and Beca knows she's going to dream about the depths of color in Chloe's eyes for weeks, and about the way she's pulled so close to the woman that they're nearly kissing. She wonders for a minute what kissing Chloe would feel like, but bravery only gets her so far, and there's no way she's going to pull a stunt like that, even to piss of Aubrey.
She settles instead for staring at her ass as she walks away, and gulping down the beer Jesse brings for her immediately after. It's cheap, and nothing she'd normally drink on her own, but I'll get her drunk, hopefully drunk enough to ignore the possessive way Aubrey is holding Chloe, and the strange twist of emotions it brings to Beca's gut. So instead of focusing on them, Beca drinks until she knows she needs to stop, and continues flirting with Jesse, making sure it stays harmlessly innocent. And it works, other than the occasional glimpse of Chloe or Aubrey through the crowd.
She does regret the drinking the next day, as Aubrey pushes them through choreography and a workout that Beca is sure she designed purely to punish her for speaking up at the beginning of practice. There's no other reason to make seven hungover girls run laps on the stairs that Beca can see, even if they do have a performance next week.
Of course, things only get worse after practice, when Aubrey comments on her style, her attitude, and the apparent "toner" she has for Jesse. And there's a strange note in the blonde's voice as she critiques the last that Beca can't place. Because Chloe is never mentioned, and Beca had been sure there would have been some kind of response, even if just a "stay away from Chloe" like she's currently getting about Jesse.
Still, the whole situation is so ridiculous that instead of denying the accusations she continues to antagonize Aubrey, even as she walks away. Sarcasm and avoidance, her oldest standbys for serious situations, save her again
They're nowhere to be found a week later though, when Chloe tearfully tells the Bellas that she has nodes. Aubrey is already at her side, but Beca has to push down the urge to rush to them both, which is absurd. She's only known them for a week, only seem them at Bella's practice. She doesn't even care this much about people she's known for years, has never let herself get so attached.
But now she is honestly concerned, and can't stop herself from speaking up, almost twitching with the effort it takes to stand in place. She tries not to think about it too much when she's back in her dorm, but she finds herself looking up self-care tips for nodes and texting the links to Chloe, ignoring the response and the emotions swirling through her. Even if she's apparently starting to care, that doesn't mean she's going to give in that easily. She still doesn't know what's going on, but she does still knows that relationships are a risky business that she's better off avoiding.
Simple as that.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Look Aubrey, Beca sent me a list of ways to help deal with my nodes" Chloe says excitedly when the link comes through, only skimming the article before she's sending off a thank you text that she hopes isn't too over the top. "I told you she cared, I could tell she was worried today when she heard." Even with the undercurrent of fear Chloe has felt since she'd head the doctor tell her what was wrong, she can't help but feel almost giddy at the text on her phone.
It was the same thing Aubrey had done as soon as they got home, pulling out her laptop and looking up everything she could find on how to tread them, and how to help Chloe deal with them. Several of the other Bellas had sent comforting texts, but Beca was the only one who went home and researched. And it wasn't a list that Aubrey had found, though it contained most of the same information, so obviously Beca had done just as much searching as her girlfriend had.
"I didn't argue with that, Chloe. I'm just saying that being concerned about this doesn't mean she's willing to consider a relationship with either of us. You saw her at hood night, I know you did. It's why you nearly kissed her, she was off flirting with that Treble."
"I wasn't going to kiss her!" Chloe ties to argue. Because yes she'd seen the flirting, and was tipsy enough to get a little handsy, but even while drunkenly affectionate she knows better than to kiss anyone but her girlfriend.
"Still, I know you were jealous. And that was only a week ago, Chloe. I just don't want you to get your hopes up and end up hurt. And I don't want to get hurt either." Chloe knows her girlfriend has a point, but she's still hopeful. She can't help it, it's practically hardwired into her personality to see the best in every situation.
It's one of the ways Aubrey balances her out, the blonde is always realistic and logical about things. The balance between them makes Chloe wonder what Beca would contribute to their views as a group. She's been doing that a lot lately, trying to imagine how the brunette would fit into their life, because she firmly believes there is a space that is supposed to be filled, even if she can't see it.
"I know, Bree. But we still haven't been able to get to know her, and she cared enough to find this. You have to admit that's at least a little promising, right?" Aubrey just sighs at her, crossing the room from where she'd still been researching on her laptop before answering.
"Why don't we see how she acts in practice, and if she's willing to get to know us, before we make any kind of assumptions about how she feels" she says as she settles next to Chloe, running her hands through the redhead's hair. "It's easy to care through a text message, but that doesn't mean she's going to open up in real life."
And as practices pass without Beca changing how she acts towards them, Chloe has to admit Aubrey had a point. Even when she tries to pass her solo to the brunette, there's no real emotion response to anything but the music. And even though Chloe loves how much Beca has obviously become invested in the Bellas, it doesn't help with the longing she feels every time the brunette brushes her or Aubrey off.
That's part of the reason she speaks up to defend Beca, even knowing Aubrey will probably take it as an attack on her. She can convince the blonde later that Chloe will always be on her side. She just wants the younger woman to see that Chloe is willing to be on her side too, because she really does agree with both of them.
It seems to work, because even though Aubrey snaps at them and refuses to budge, there aren't any of the danger signs Chloe knows so well to warn her that Aubrey is being pushed too far. And Beca is actually smiling at her when Aubrey turns her back, not completely avoiding her gaze. Maybe, just maybe, the brunette has taken a step closer to them, Chloe thinks. Or at least, close to her, which is closer to Aubrey by default.
She suggests a Bellas bonding session to Aubrey later that night, and gets a look that tells her Aubrey knows what she's up to, but her girlfriend nods anyway. "We're not letting them sleep off hangovers in our living room" is all she says, even though Chloe knows that's exactly what is going to happen, because a bonding night just isn't complete without at least one overly personal drinkging game.
She still vividly remembers having to admit to the awkwardness that was her first kiss, back in middle school, a story that she hopes will never be mentioned again. Still, if it brings the Bellas, or specifically Beca, closer together, Chloe is more than willing to put up with a little thing like embarrassment. She knows Aubrey won't play, but that's okay too. They'll need someone sober and responsible, and Aubrey still doesn't do well with opening up to other people.
They're already well on their way to drunk when Stacie suggests "Never Have I Ever", and everyone but Aubrey and Beca agrees immediately. Beca tries to back out, but Chloe quickly jumps in to push her a little. "Come on, Beca! It's a bonding night, we're supposed to learn more about each other. How are we going to do that if you won't play?" Chloe knows she's using the same puppy dog eyes on the brunette that she uses on her girlfriend, but she figures she can be forgiven for that. It's not like she's using one of the more personal methods of persuasion, after all.
"Aubrey isn't playing" Beca quickly points out, looking at the blonde like she'll somehow save her from this. But Aubrey knows how much this means to Chloe, and she had promised to give finding out more about Beca a chance, so she quickly jumps in on Chloe's side.
"That's because I'm the designated sober chaperone tonight. Someone needs to make sure no one hurts themselves, or ends up on YouTube for something stupid."
"Fine." Beca finally says, giving in to the expectant looks from the entire group. "But I reserved the right to refuse to explain something."
"Nope" Chloe says with a grin, setting a shot down in front of the girl with a wink. "Normal rules apply. But we will let you go first."
"Fine" Beca says again, this time with a roll of her eyes. "Never have I ever donated blood."
"That's what you start us off with? Come on girl, you know there's some good stuff in this group" Cynthia Rose says as Chloe, Denise, and Jessica drink. Beca just shrugs and gestures for Jessica to go, looking down at the shot in front of her longingly.
Aubrey keeps the shots full as the game goes on, making sure the girls drinking the most also drink plenty of water between shots. The questions range from innocent (Chloe and Ashley end up drinking the most for those), to decidedly sexual (Stacie, Cynthia Rose, and Fat Amy drink most for those).
It's not a fast game, as they often stop to hear explanations when someone surprises them. It takes a full five minutes of Denise explaining that she hadn't meant to kick a dog before Chloe will let it drop, for example. Still, they're all definitely intoxicated before too long, and that's when Stacie asks the most loaded question of the night.
"Never have I ever met my soulmate" she asks, and Chloe can see Aubrey freeze where she's standing in the kitchen grabbing more water. Still, the question has been asked, and Chloe slams her shot back, seeing Lilly, Denise, and Cynthia Rose do the same even as she hears Beca protest.
"Dude, that' snot something you're supposed to ask people!" the brunette splutters, hand on her glass but not drinking.
"What, it's not like I'm asking if people are with their soulmate or anything, I'm just curious" Stacie defends with a shrug. "Besides, it's pretty straightforward, either you see color and drink, or you don't and you don't. These guys didn't seem to have a problem with it" she says with a wave at the four who'd taken the shot.
"Fine" Beca mutters yet again, before slamming back the shot and leaving the table. Seven pairs of eyes are staring after her in shock, but Chloe and Aubrey both follow without a word, finding the brunette sitting on the edge of the guest bed with her head in her hands, elbows braced firmly on her knees.
"I'm really not in the mood to have this discussion right now" comes the muffled voice, as if Beca knows exactly who followed her into the room.
"Believe me, neither am I" Aubrey says with a sigh, shutting the door behind them. "And don't worry, we're not having it while you two are both this drunk. But Beca, I don't want you to run away tomorrow and pretend nothing happened, because that will only hurt Chloe and make this all take longer." And Chloe knows she's definitely drunk, because when Aubrey starts being this protectively concerned about her happiness, it's all she can do to keep from tackling her girlfriend into a hug.
"And what if I don't want to have this conversation when I'm sober, either?" Beca asks, finally looking up at them.
"Then you'll still be hurting Chloe, and I'll be upset with you. And even if I'm not sold on any of this, I'm not okay with letting people hurt Chloe's feelings. Now Beca, even with your attitude and frustrating ability to find every button I have, you're actually a good person, and we know you at least care about Chloe. So please, we aren't asking for you to do anything but talk to us at some point tomorrow."
"Why do you even want to talk to me?" Beca stalls, still looking at them, but wrapping her arms around herself defensively. Chloe goes to speak, but Aubrey quiets her with a quick glance.
"If we get into that, we're going to end up having the conversation tonight. So will you just trust us, and promise that you won't run? Because I'll let Chloe track you down if you try, and take it from me, she does not give up when she wants something." Beca is looking between the two older women, taking in the guarded look on Aubrey's face, as well as what Chloe knows is an openly hopeful look on her own.
"Just give us a chance, Beca" Chloe whispers when she hesitates, wanting to reassure her, but not knowing how without starting the conversation she knows Aubrey is right to put off. She nearly tackles Beca back onto the bed when she slowly nods, but settles for beaming widely, pulling Aubrey into her side to satisfy her need for physical connection. They've only just gotten the reluctant agreement to talk, there's no way an over the top physical gesture will help the situation.
"We'll head back out to the others then, finish out the bonding night. If you want to stay in here for a while, we'll make an excuse for you" Aubrey says, a gentle note in her voice that Chloe doesn't think Beca has ever heard before. Now that Chloe thinks about it, that particular tone mostly comes when Aubrey is talking to her, when she's starting to feel overwhelmed by something.
So when they leave the room and the door is shut firmly behind them, Chloe pulls Aubrey into a tight hug, trying to wordlessly thank her for softening towards the other woman. "What changed?" she whispers into her hair, knowing her girlfriend will understand what she's talking about.
"She looks about as overwhelmed as I remember feeling the first time I met you, and I remember being so hesitant to give us a shot, I can't blame her for reacting the way I would have if you hadn't taken the lead and pushed me. And she has to face both of us, which has to be even more intimidating. She deserves a chance."
"Well, we'll see tomorrow if she's willing to give us one too" Chloe says with a hopeful smile, before walking with her girlfriend back into the living room to where the other Bellas are still waiting. They can deal with that tomorrow, tonight they still have some bonding to get to.