Lucy pov

I sat in my room hugging the pillow. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I'm having a hard time thinking, sleeping, deciding. It's all to confusing and stressful. The worst of it is I haven't spoken or seen natsu in a week. A long week of battling with my self. A lot of loneliness as well.

Levy and erza sort of backed away once I told them what was happening, which is good. I don't want them involved and have them worry over me.

I feel hopeless really. It's either, forgive natsu or forget natsu. I feel like if I forgive natsu I'll only end up getting hurt again. And to forget him will hurt me even more. How can I forget someone who was a big deal of my life? Not to mention he was my first kiss.

I laid down and put the pillow beside me. I stared up at the ceiling. I'm so sick of this. How much can I endure this time?

I've been thinking about lissana as well. And that thinking probably got me even more scared of her. I'm glad I punched her, but then again if I see her again she'll do worse to me. Worse than the time she kicked me repeatedly in the stomach. Almost killing me. That's what got me afraid. It made a lump in my throat.

I can't deal with anything right now. I feel so vulnerable. I feel weak. I feel useless.

I've been skipping school as well. I plan on going tomorrow though. Just to catch up on whatever I missed, and I can imagine a shit load of stuff.

I sighed. I just feel like crying my eyes out and curling up into a ball. I feel so sensitive.

I just want this.. to end.

…

Natsu pov

I sighed as I stared at my phone. "No new messages" I grumbled and shoved it back into my pocket. I'm starting to get worried now, about luce. I haven't heard of her in awhile. She hasn't come to school. And erza and levy don't know what's going on with her, surprisingly. I would go see her but I told her I'd respect her privacy. I don't want to barge into her space. She said she needed some.

But still, who knows if she's still alive. I'm scared of something happening like last time.

I came over to lucy's house. Her dad finally approved of me coming over. I felt excited actually. I grinned as I walked towards the back of the garden to where she said to meet her.

Once I got there, I looked at the size of the area. It was huge. You'd think people lived here. I kicked at the grass waiting for her.

"Maybe I'll.. explore until she comes back" I started walking around. I was curious about this place.

I seen this huge white gazebo in the back. I started walking my way there.

I started to hear crying. Weeping. I stopped and listened for a second. Gasping was head as well. "Luce?" I called out and started walking faster.

There she stood in a light purple dress, her hair in curls with a bow in the back even. She was crying and holding her chest staring at the gazebo. Gasping for air almost. She started to hyperventilate as she fell to her knees.

"Luce!" I ran towards her. I came behind her. She keeled over gasping, tears fell onto the grass. "Luce what's wrong?!" I started to panic. She turned and grabbed me. Her arms wrapping around me. I stared down at her.

"N.. Nat..Na.. Natsu.." she barely got out. I grabbed onto her and held her. "Shh" I said calmly as held her. "Calm down luce" I told her. She buried her face in my shirt.

After a good 20 minutes she calmed down. But she didn't dare look up. "Natsu?" she said sounding muffled by my shirt. "What is it?" I asked her. "Take me away from here" was all she told me.

I got up and tried blocking the gazebo from her view. Once she stood up I grabbed my sweater and put it over her head. She covered her self in it. After that I guided her inside, she didn't take it off until we got inside.

"Sorry for that.. attack back there" she frowned and looked down. "I.. get them from time to time" She sighed. "How come you got one back there?" I asked her. "Remember…how I told you I can't really go some places around here? Because of.. my.. mom?" She looked at me. I nodded.

"That gazebo was her favourite place" she had tears in the corners of her eyes. "I thought.. maybe..maybe this time.. I.. can go there again" taking a deep breath she stared at the ground.

"Thank you natsu.." she looked up at me. I flashed a grin at her making her frown fade away.

"Anything for you luce"

I sighed. That was when we were 10. But I'm scared it might happen again. It wasn't good last time.

…

I sat in my room, headphones plugged in. I cracked my back and laid back on the bed.

Luce.. I hope you're okay.

I sighed and closed my eyes. It's been a boring week without her. It was always more fun when we were together. I couldn't help but think about the last night we were together. Walking back from the restaurant, eating together with jellal and erza like when we were younger. Running away from that cafe lissana was at. Laughing together with her, like no care in the world.

Kissing her…

I blushed at the thought. I kissed lucy heartfilia. I let that run through my head. I smiled.

I yawned tiredly. Without knowing I shut my eyes and fell asleep, music still on.

Lucy pov

The next day I eventually went to school. I didn't miss anything surprisingly. All I missed was a history quiz and math review. The other stuff was pretty easy. I could probably finish it by tomorrow.

But I still have that lonely feeling, even if I'm around a crowd of people. I didn't bother talking to levy in class either. I don't want her asking me a millions questions each minute. And erza I don't think was here, which was a bummer. Even though I probably wouldn't talk to her either.

The bell rang. Ending class and meaning the start of lunch. Everyone got up in a fast motion heading for the exit. Once I got up and out of the classroom I walked down the hallway, wandering. In a daze almost. Like I couldn't snap out of it. I wouldn't bother snapping out of it even if I could. I just..didn't care.

Once I realised where I was going, I didn't bother stopping. People blankly stared at me as I passed them. It made me feel weird. But I continued to ignore them.

The roof top felt breezy. It felt nice on my skin actually. I took a deep breath. I scanned my area. No one was around. No one to watch me. No one to judge.

I stepped on the edge of the building. I slowly put one foot on the ledge, and then began to put the other one on once I got my balance. Some people walked by, but they didn't notice me. And they were all heading inside so the number of people were starting to decrease. I stared at my footing. Once step is all it takes. I could end it here, right then and now.

Should I? I mean…no one's going to miss me. I'm just a burden to my friends anyway. They'll be glad.. right? I wouldn't have to make others worry about me no more. I felt a lump in my throat starting to form. I swallowed it and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths.

The fall was far enough to kill me, it an instant. No pain. Just a swift death.

I felt dizzy looking at the ground, my vision started to blur. I stood still. Not daring to breath. Not daring to move.

I think I'll do it.

"Luce?"

…

I decided to re-write this chapter. Sorry if it seems depressing right now, happy times will come :). The next chapter should be up soon though.

In the mean time leave me a review ;)