Summary: "Open your eyes!"
Those are the words Ryousuke has grown up with and loathes. If there were no consequences, he would. He wants to see the world, but he doesn't want to see everything else too. At Seidou, no one says anything about it as long as he does what's asked of him. Ryousuke knows there are a lot rumours about why he keeps his eyes shut but he'd rather have rumours floating around than seeing things he doesn't want to see.
I See You (The Boy Who Knows Too Much)
"Open your eyes." Ryousuke's mother told her newborn son gently, smiling. Her face was covered in sweat and she was exhausted, but happy. Her husband crooned at the baby from her side, holding her hand. The baby was unusually quiet, sniffling softly and squirming a bit, but keeping his eyes closed. A tuft of downy, pink hair sat on his head. His father reached out to gently cup it.
"Let's see those pretty eyes of yours, hmm?"
More squirming at the touch of his father's hand, a bit of grabbing at the air - and he opened his eyes.
They were beautiful, large and round, the colour of a rosy-golden sunset, bleeding into orange at the edges. They stared in shock for a moment, fixed on the two faces above him. And then he screamed.
xXx
"Hyaha, nice running!" Kuramochi greets him as he touches on to the home plate and keeps going until he reaches the bullpen. Ryousuke receives a hard thump on the back for his efforts and he smiles. Everyone is already in their gear, ready for defense, except for Ryousuke and Maezono who's still on second.
"Thanks, Youichi." Ryousuke gives back evenly. "You're looking pretty good out there yourself today."
"How can ya even tell?" he hears Jun calling from the back. Quiet snickers from what he can only assume are the third years. None of the underclassmen would be brave enough to laugh at Ryousuke.
"Haha, Beard-senpai has a point, Nii-san!" Sawamura adds, laughing.
Though there are underclassmen who are stupid enough to do so. He can hear Haruichi quickly trying to get Sawamura to stop, but Ryousuke is already turning his head in the direction of where the first years are huddled together. He can sense them freezing at the sight of the not-so-friendly smile on his face.
"And what is that, Sawamura?" he asks, deceptively soft. Even the third years have gone quiet now; no one in the bullpen makes a noise as they're either too scared or too intent on watching someone (read: Sawamura) get a beating. Ryousuke can hear Sawamura swallow. Ryousuke absentmindedly feels sorry for Meazono; he must be wondering why no voices are coming from the bullpen to either encourage or boo at him.
"Uuh, nothing. He doesn't have a point. That I can see." Sawamura adds hastily, trying to avoid getting two senpais on his bad side. He laughs, a bit too high to be real. "But I'm stupid right? Haha..."
"Ei-chan...please just stop." Haruichi murmurs quietly. Sawamura instantly stops babbling, once again surprising Ryousuke with how much control his younger brother seems to have over the other two unruly first years. He turns away, allowing himself an amused smile at the exhale of relief behind him. "Hey, how about we cheer Zono-senpai on? He looks a bit lost..."
And Sawamura is back to his usual energetic self, shouting out words of encouragement. Ryousuke trudges over to the bench where Kuramochi is already waiting with a cup of water. He accepts it gratefully, downing it in one go.
"How's the betting pool going?" he asks once he's done and sets down the cup beside him. Kuramochi stiffens beside him.
"Betting pool? What betting pool?" the second year tries to sound clueless, but he sounds just a bit too hysterical. Ryousuke sighs.
"You started it, didn't you?"
"What? No, I - "
"I said black." Yuuki's calm voice sounds from the front of the bullpen. He's observing the current batter intensely, but he's obviously still listening.
"Brown." Jun pipes up. He can hear the grin in his voice. "Statistically speaking, I have a pretty high chance of winning, ya know? Most people have brown eyes."
"I didn't know you knew about statistics, Jun." Yuuki says. His voice is calm as always, but to the practiced listener or good friend, the teasing edge is audible. One of the many facts and facets one can learn about the captain or any person by simple observance.
Jun starts sputtering and childishly pointing fingers, unwittingly loosening up the atmosphere in the bullpen before the next inning of their practice game starts. Ryousuke doesn't move from the bench but smiles. The low sunlight behind his eyelids colour Ryousuke's vision a dark orange-red; they feel warm.
Yes, facts about people are observable. But there are also facts that have to be told, not observed. Facts like that the fearless captain of the Seidou team is afraid of a particular shade of maroon-red or has an intense fear of drowning ever since a near death experience as a child. Those are secrets he's never told anyone; no one outside his family knows. Except for Ryousuke. And that is a secret the captain doesn't - or anyone - know of.
xXx
"But you have such pretty eyes! The fringe doesn't have to be much shorter, just a tiny bit. How about it?" their mother tried to convince the younger to get his hair cut. 6-year old Haruichi didn't say anything, but simply shook his head. Their mother sighed, looking at Ryousuke a bit regretfully. She thought he couldn't tell, but he did. "How is it that both my children have been blessed with gifts like your beautiful eyes and yet neither of you wants to show them?"
Gifts, Ryousuke thought, laughing internally. If only she knew what kind of 'gifts' we have. He merely smiles apologetically. She sighed and straightened up.
"Alright, then. The festival will be starting soon. Can I trust you two to get ready?"
"Don't worry, okaa-san, I'll take care of Haruichi." Ryousuke reassured her, taking his younger brother by the hand.
xXx
"That last hit was amazing, Nii-san!" Sawamura tells Ryousuke on their way to the bus. They've just won the game, advancing them another round. "Against such a difficult pitch! No one else could get the timing...how did you figure it out?!"
Ryousuke doesn't know if Sawamura is merely trying to get back into his good graces or if he's genuinely interested. He doesn't care enough to figure it out.
"Practice, Sawamura." he finally says after mulling it over. No one would believe him if he said the truth or able to imitate what Ryousuke can do. Besides, the biggest part of it, he does owe to practice and dedication. "Though I doubt you ever will be able to hit that well, no matter how hard you try."
"Aniki..." Haruichi quietly says from beside the now protesting Sawamura. Ryousuke smiles a little at the tone. On the field, his little baby brother may gain a bit of an intimidating aura in his best moments, but off the field he is just what he knows him as - Ryousuke's younger, formidable but shy brother.
xXx
Ryousuke doesn't remember when he first realised what it is he can do or when he first acquired the habit of having his eyes shut constantly. He knows he's always known it's not normal to know what he does nor the nightmares caused by what he finds out.
A memory sticks out for him, really more words floating around in his head and engraved in his mind than an actual moment he remembers. They're his mother's, uttered once and very sadly.
"I wish you would open your eyes more. I still remember seeing them for the first time, right after you were born. They are so beautiful. Why won't you open them? Don't you want to see this world?"
He knows his mother was being sincere when she said them, but the truth is, he doesn't. He doesn't want to see the world or the people in it, because most things aren't beautiful. They're twisted and dark. It's the rare occasion that he opens his eyes in tiny slits to see and sees something of such purity that it prompts him to look a little longer, to open his eyes fully.
Ryousuke loves his parents, but he knows that even they gave him nightmares. There are parts that most people keep locked away and hidden for their whole lives. Often, they aren't even aware of these darker parts of themselves and they never see the light of day. But he can see them, regardless of if they hide it or not, if they're aware or not. And it hurts and pushes at the boundaries of his own sanity.
The first time he encounters a person of such purity he couldn't help but stare was the day his brother was born. He didn't see Haruichi, the wrinkly, red faced newborn with the same tuft of pink hair on his head he apparently had had. He saw a shining, bright bundle of light, warm and gentle. He saw spring, smelled the fresh scent of tentatively blooming flowers, heard the gentle lapping of water over pebbled stones. He knew of his brother's shy and gentle nature, of his determination and courage, his quiet strength. He knew he would be better than him. He knew of his insecurities and that they wouldn't spoil the purity Haruichi is. And he also knew that Haruichi was like him.
Back then, Haruichi had been vulnerable and so, so pure that an immediate instinct of protection overcame Ryousuke. He knew he had to, needed to protect that innocence and goodness at all cost. It wouldn't be easy, not with the gift Haruichi had, but anything else he could and would protect him from.
xXx
It's been a few years now since Ryousuke has accepted that Haruichi no longer needs his protection. What he needs is experience to grow and even though the process is painful for Ryousuke, he knows it's inevitable.
But right now, he isn't concentrating on what is except for the pitcher right in front of him.
He doesn't open his eyes; years of having them closed has forced him to train his other senses and he already knows everything he needs to know about this pitcher from just the glance he's thrown at him at the beginning of the game. He knows the pitcher's goodness and darkness, he knows his dreams and deepest fears. He knows exactly which kind of pitches are his best and which his worst. He knows the exact angle and speed at which each one of them is thrown and the rest he's calculated in his head, like how long it takes for the ball to reach home plate and which kind of impact it will have on the bat.
Ryousuke's grip on his bat tightens; he opens his eyes in tiny slits as he checks the pitcher for good measure. Yes, he's still going for the kind of pitch he thought. The pitcher doesn't notice the intense look he's thrown; he takes a deep breath, winds up – and throws.
Ryousuke waits, calmly, then swings and hits the ball, strong and true. A clear sound rings through the field as the ball rebounds and flies off into the air.
xXx
"That last swing was amazing!" Youichi enthuses, clapping the third year on his back. Ryousuke smiles; they just had their regular post-game meeting and are the only two left in the room. "Hey now, open your eyes, will ya? This trophy does look pretty cool and you never even look at them!"
Those words haunt him. Open your eyes. Maybe he will even indulge his friend just this once. He's a bit hesitant; after all he wants nothing to taint his perception of his friend now. It's funny how he chooses to live in blissful ignorance of people while others would do anything to have a gift like his, to know people as intimately as he does.
But Ryousuke trusts Kuramochi. He's one of the only people he has the desire to truly see. So he slowly, cautiously, heart filled with the fear he knows too well from his nightmares, opens his eyes.
Youichi watches in amazement as the older Kominato brother opens his eyes for the first time since – well, ever since he can remember meeting him. And drops his jaw involuntarily at the surprise of seeing his friend's actual eye colour. They are like the sunset, multiple shades of pink, orange and gold with some undertones of blue and purple.
Beautiful.
That's Youichi's first thought. Then, no one's winning this bet. I get all the money, hyahaha.
And finally, Fuck.
Ryousuke watches in equal amazement. He's prepared himself for multiple possibilities and while he has considered this one, it seemed to be unlikely…but there it is.
Kuramochi is a figure of light. Not the same white as Haruichi, but no less bright. There's dependability and gentleness, so unlike what Kuramochi shows everyone else. There's a feeling of security and calm strength, again different from Haruichi but more visible and it feels blue. Really, maybe that should be Kuramochi's next hair colour. There's rocky terrains and thundering waterfalls, a huge tree with an impossibly wide trunk and an extensive roof, emanating safety. The earth the impressive tree is rooted in is rich and dark, grounded in reality. There's signs of decay in the earth as well but they're so unnoticeable, Ryousuke isn't bothered by them. And maybe, maybe he wouldn't have it any other way.
Ryousuke smiles at Youichi, making the second year's heart jolt and he realises once again just how screwed he is.
Yes, if it's Youichi, a little bit of darkness doesn't seem so bad.