Author's Note: Oh, the Fade... One of the most confusing parts of the game and one of the hardest parts to put into actual words. So many things in the Fade are fantastic visuals, and it's crazy trying to translate them into an actual plot element. I hope I did it some justice. Anyway, thanks to all the followers and reviewers! You guys truly are the best, and it's so great hearing that you all are enjoying the story so far!
Chapter 35 - In Nightmares
With Niall's somewhat disjointed assistance, Serena navigated the Fade, discovering other trapped dreamers who passed their skills on to her. Before long, she could transform her shape, becoming a mouse small enough to fit through tight spaces; a spirit able to pass through and see doors only visible to demons; a stone golem capable of breaking through massive metal doors. One dreamer even taught her how to ignite her body in flames so she could pass safely through the fiery passageways that cordoned off parts of the Fade from her without being burned alive. Or, well, asleep, as it were.
Serena remembered speaking to Oren about the Fade as she moved through the mists... oh, how she was thankful she knew so little of it back then. She would have given him nightmares for months if she had spoken of this place. Perhaps it was due to the sloth demon, but this area was nothing like her dreams.
Templars, burning in flames, came to skewer her on their swords; mages, screaming for her blood, shot at her with spells; even darkspawn ran about the Fade, chasing her through mazes and into locked doors.
Escaped from her own nightmare, where she supposed fighting with an unknown weapon must have been part of her greatest fear, she now had her beloved daggers back at her sides, and lucky, too, for this section of the Fade was filled with terror upon terror.
Everywhere Serena went there were demons, fiery wraiths and sluggish slow-moving horrors that tried desperately to beat her down, but as she took on each new opponent, she felt her skills grow. Serena became faster, lighter, stronger; able to move and react and conquer all that came against her.
Finally, after she defeated what felt like every demon in the Fade, Serena returned to the pedestal, and felt the familiar rush as she was transported through the Fade.
Serena glanced around, unsure of where she was. It looked like the area Niall had been... was he near here then? She started walking, hoping something would eventually look familiar.
"Maker, forgive me. I failed them all." Wynne stood before Serena, her head in her hands. The bodies of young mages littered the ground at her feet. "They died and I did not stop it."
"Wynne? Wynne! It's me, Serena!" Serena ran forward, waving to the white haired mage. She'd never felt so glad to see a familiar face in her entire life. "Wynne, don't believe this, it's... a trick or something. The sloth demon-"
"How can I disbelieve what I see, what I hear and smell and feel?" Wynne kneeled down, touching one of the bodies lightly. "Death... can you not see it? It's all around us. Leave me to my grief. I shall bury their bones, scatter their ashes to the four winds, and mourn their passing till I too am dead."
"You have to fight this, Wynne! It's not real! We're in the Fade!" Serena wanted to shake her, to wake her up somehow.
Wynne scowled at Serena, her tone harsh. "Your blatant disregard for the souls of the dead strikes me as being utterly inappropriate." She pulled her silvery staff, raising it accusingly at Serena. "And where were you when this happened? I trusted you as an ally and you were nowhere to be found."
"Are you... you can't be serious, Wynne." Serena grabbed her staff, pushing it down. "I am the only thing here, right now, that is real! These bodies... this landscape... its all a dream! Wake up!"
"It is... difficult... to focus..." The older mage shook her head. "It feels as thought something is... stopping me from concentrating. I have never had so much trouble... Perhaps some time away will help clear my head..."
Suddenly, the dead mages began to rise. "Don't leave us, Wynne. We don't want to be alone!" Bloody tears ran from their blank eyes as they clamored towards Wynne, their hands outstretched, clawed fingers reaching for them.
"Oh, sweet Maker, this is madness..." Serena pulled her daggers, ready to combat the rising mages. "We have to defeat them, Wynne! We'll never get out, otherwise!"
"No, Wynne, stay!" Another dead mage pulled at her robes. "Do not fight it... You belong here, with us!"
"N-no, not yet. My task is not yet done..." Wynne swung her staff in an arc, a spell striking the young mages around them. The apprentices surrounded the two of them, casting weak spells and yelling. Serena cut them down as Wynne froze them. Soon enough, the last of the apprentices fell to the ground, their bodies melting into the ground.
"Is it over? Thank the Maker for you, Serena. I don't know what I was... I'm so sorry." Wynne hugged her tight and Serena was reminded of her mother's embrace from her own nightmare. "Wait... what's happening?" Serena felt Wynne's arms disappear around her, as she became less and less corporeal. "Serena...?"
Serena watched as Wynne disappeared and she was alone again. With a sigh, she walked to the now bright pedestal, touching her hand to it.
"Blessed art thou who exists in the sight of the Maker. Blessed art thou who seeks His forgiveness..."
Serena watched from behind a pillar as Leliana prayed at a small dais, a demon masquerading as the revered mother at Lothering was standing beside her, a sick grin on her face.
"L-Leliana?" Serena moved from behind the broken pillar and she saw the demon's eyes immediately snap to her. "Leliana! Are you all right? I've been searching for you all..."
The red haired bard looked up from her prayer, confusion written all over her face. "What? Who are you?"
"I beg you, do not disturb the girl's meditations!" The revered mother snapped at Serena.
Leliana looked between the two of them, shaking her head. "Revered Mother, I do not know this person."
"But we're friends! We met in Lothering..." Serena moved towards her, holding her hand out. "You have fought by my side, and prayed with me. You know me, Leliana, just try to remember-"
"Please, do not vex her. She needs quiet and solitude, to calm her mind and heal her heart." The revered mother's lip curled at Serena and she felt a knot of anger well up inside her. Serena marched up to the demon, rage steeling her against her fear.
"Those who bear false witness, And work to deceive others, know this: There is but one Truth." Serena walked up to the dais and stared down the fake Chantry leader. "All things are known to our Maker. And He shall judge their lies."
The revered mother's face twisted cruelly, her kind brown eyes going blood red. "If you believe that, then you are just as stupid as her," she spat, flinging a hand at Leliana. "Your Maker has left you, just as He left us!"
"In blackest envy were the demons born," Serena replied, her eyes narrowed at the robed woman. "I think your jealousy is showing just a bit there, mother."
Serena turned to Leliana. "A true mother of the Chantry would not behave this way, you know this, Leliana. Remember why you left the cloister..."
"My vision! I... I remember now..." Leliana shook her head, backing away from the demon. "I... I don't know who you are, but you are not my revered mother..."
"No, Leliana! This is your home, your refuge! Stay, and know peace!"
"There is no need, I carry the peace of the Chantry in my heart, and with Serena, we praise the Maker every day." The bard pulled her swords as the revered mother shook with rage, its spectral image distorting as it became the demon underneath.
"No, you are ours, now and forever!" The demon wailed, grabbing at them both. Leliana swung her swords in an arc, slicing down through the demon as it screamed. Serena pulled her bow and shot it as Leliana did a delicate spin, cutting it down. The demon let out one last long yell before dissolving into the ground.
"Oh, Serena, I'm so sorry!" Leliana came and hugged her, and Serena was reminded of her reunion with Wynne. "My head feels heavy... like I've just woken up from a terrible nightmare. We should probably get going and find the others- wait, what...?" Serena watched sadly as Leliana faded before her.
"I don't know why I get my hopes up here..." Serena said crossly, heading back to the pedestal.
Serena had no idea who's nightmare this was, but it was much darker than either Leliana's or Wynne's had been, and she had fought dead bodies in Wynne's dream. A cold wind blew through the depressing landscape, making Serena shiver uncontrollably. Two men stood near a torturing rack, slowly cranking it as a man laid across it, stretched far beyond it's compact frame should have allowed.
"I think I saw him flinch that time," one of the men said.
"Maybe," answered the other. "We'll make you scream yet, apprentice."
"No… I wouldn't... want you to hold back." The man on the rack groaned loudly, his voice strained. "I'd be disappointed... if you... did." The man turned his head and Serena recognized the long white-blonde hair and gasped.
"This one has spirit... it's a shame we have to break him."
"Zevran?" Serena carefully moved towards the men, her hands on her daggers. "Are you... what's going on?"
The tortured elf turned, his face a mask of pain and confusion. "Serena? What... what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be... here..."
"This is a dream, Zevran!" Serena saw the two other assassins stare her down but she stood her ground. "You have to snap out of it... this isn't real!"
"I can't... I need to stay strong." Zevran closed his eyes tightly. "This is my test. I am going to be a Crow... I need to show them I can tolerate... pain."
"You're already an Antivan Crow, you stupid man! That's how we met! You tried to bloody kill me!" Serena knew she was yelling, but she had had enough of these demented nightmares. "How can you not remember any of this?"
"Get out of it, girlie," one of the thugs yelled at her. "Or else you're going on the rack next to your boyfriend, here."
"Is this truly nothing but a bad dream? A bad memory?" Zevran pulled at his restraints and one of the assassins cranked the rack harder until he screamed. "I... I can feel it... that you... speak the truth. Serena?"
"Why, I think he's questioning us... he'll be punished for that... Severely punished." The dark haired assassin pulled two long swords and ran at Serena as Zevran pulled at his bonds, yelling and kicking.
Serena parried a blow from one of the assassins, kicking him back to the ground before running around the rack and slicing at Zevran's bonds with one of her daggers. "I am not fighting your demons on my own!"
"I don't have any weapons!" Zevran rolled off the rack and kicked at one of his fake Crow brothers.
"Hand up, look here!" Serena pulled an extra dagger from her boot and tossed into his waiting hand as he spun on his heel and slammed it into the ginger haired assassin's neck. With a loud snap, he turned the man's head, kicking him to the floor.
"A fine toss, Warden," Zevran called as he flipped backwards onto his hands, kicking the second assassin in the chin.
Serena grabbed his hair from behind and pulled his head back, her dagger slicing across his throat. The man dropped at her feet and evaporated before her.
"Well, that was bracing!" The elven assassin stretched out his shoulders, handing Serena her dagger back. "There's nothing like a good racking, is there?" Zevran started walking towards her and Serena could see his body start to disappear, just as the others had done. "What are you doing? Where-"
And then he was gone.
"Away! Away with you! I shall have no more of your pestering!"
For once, Serena found herself relieved to hear the brusque tones of her dark haired companion. A murky version of Flemeth, Morrigan's mother, stood in front of her, glaring down at the witch berating her.
"I am your mother... do you not love me?"
"You are as much my mother as my little finger, right here, is the queen of Ferelden!" Morrigan shot back, waving her hand at the demon. "I know you, fade spirit, you cannot fool me."
"Are you more clever than you own dear mother? Surely such pride must be punished!" Flemeth brought her hand back to smack Morrigan in the face. Serena watched as the demon struck her hard across the face and Morrigan winced, her golden eyes filled with cold fury. "There! That is for not showing respect!"
Morrigan laughed, pulling her staff. "That is far more like it, but it is too little too late, spirit." She turned to Serena and waved her over. "'Tis you at last! Come, Serena, rid me of this vexatious spirit! I weary of being prodded! Kill it, and then we can be off!"
"I… you... all right!" Serena was slightly taken aback that Morrigan knew right away that this was not real, but Serena wasn't about to dawdle any longer than necessary.
She charged at the image of Flemeth and threw one of her daggers at it, sliding at the last second to slice her second dagger across its calf. The demon screamed and swung its arms about as Morrigan danced out of the way, shooting icy spells from her staff.
Serena rolled under the spell and kicked out, knocking the fake Flemeth to the ground. Leaning over, she stabbed the demon in the face as it disintegrated before her.
"'Tis about time! That was most-" Morrigan frowned, touching her middle as it quickly became vapor. "No, not this again! I refuse!"
"But... that's not fair!" Serena yelled at the green-tinged sky. "She knew it was a trick! Why don't I get to keep her?" Serena kicked angrily at one of the disturbing tree clusters in the ground, knowing the Fade pedestal had just started glowing behind her.
"I know, I know... Maker's breath, I hate this place..." Serena sighed, stomping back to the pedestal and slammed her hand down onto it.
After her own nightmare, Serena had begun to dread this last nightmare more and more as she moved through the Fade, releasing her other companions. Wynne's had been ghoulish, and Zevran's nightmare had been outright alarming, but after destroying her own twisted version of Alistair, she was both afraid and embarrassed to face him now. The memory of those glowing red eyes haunted her as she ambled through the Fade, searching for a sign of him.
Serena shuddered as Alistair came into view. No glowing red eyes, and his armor was the same splint-mail he always wore. A woman was standing beside him, pretty, although a few years older than Serena. Was this... who was this? Surely it wasn't his mother, she was much too young. Two children were playing a card game at a table.
"Hey! It's great to see you again." Alistair waved happily as she neared him, coming to give her a hug. Serena smiled awkwardly and accepted the hug, not trusting herself enough yet to speak to him. "I was just thinking about you... isn't that a marvelous coincidence?"
Alistair beamed at her. He sounded happier and more buoyant than she'd ever heard him in real life. Who was this woman? And who did these children belong to?
"Are you going to introduce me to your friend, Alistair?" The woman smiled gently, her brown hair was perfectly set into little braids clasped around her head. Serena looked down at herself and winced, the blood and bits of demon filth clung to her leathers. She could only imagine what her face looked like, bruised and bloody.
"Oh, right. Serena... this is my sister, Goldanna." Alistair held out a hand and gestured to the woman and children. "These are her children, and there's more about... somewhere." He grinned goofily. "We're one big happy family, at long last!"
"Wow. Uh..." Serena looked around, trying not to appear rude. "You seem very... content."
"I am! I'm happier than I've been my entire life. Isn't that strange?" Alistair shook his head, smiling as if he couldn't believe his luck. "I thought being a Grey Warden would make me happy, but it didn't. This does." He put an arm around her, his voice dropping low. "And now you're here, too. It just... couldn't be better."
"I'm overjoyed to have my little brother back," Goldanna gushed at the pair of them. "I'll never let him out of my sight again!"
"You... live with your sister? Here?"
"There's nothing wrong with living with my sister," Alistair replied. "I've never had a real family before."
"Well, Alistair, is your friend staying for supper?"
Alistair turned to Serena, his elated smile back in place. "Say you'll stay. Goldanna's a great cook. Maybe she'll make her mince pie." He turned to the demon posing as his long-lost sister. "You can, can't you?"
"I... I can't stay," Serena said, pushing Alistair's arm away. "I don't think you should either, Alistair. This... isn't what you think it is." She locked eyes with him, willing him to understand. "Think about this, and how you got here. Think carefully."
"All right... if it makes you happy." Alistair frowned, his eyes narrowing in concentration. "I... it's a little fuzzy, that's strange..." He shook his head, as if he could somehow clear the confusion away. "No… wait... I remember a... tower. The Circle..." His face suddenly cleared as his eyes went wide and he pulled her to him in a rush. "Oh, sweet Maker, Serena!"
"You... the demon... I couldn't-" Alistair held her close and she knew memories of their encounter with the desire demon from before were flooding back to him. "You nearly died..."
Serena pushed him lightly away, still disturbed from the fake Alistair of her own nightmare. Afraid he would grab onto her and never let go. Or worse, pull his sword on her. "Yes, that was awful... we... we can talk about it later, Alistair. We have to get out of here! We're trapped in the Fade!"
Alistair looked around, his hazel eyes confused. "The Fade? Wait, but… it feels so real-"
"Of course it's real, brother dear," Goldanna snapped. Serena saw her normally kind eyes were now the red color she remembered from her own nightmare. She backed up unconsciously from Alistair. "This woman has no idea what she's talking about! Now wash up before supper and I-"
"No, I... something doesn't... something's not right here... I think I have to go."
"C-come with me then, Alistair, hurry!" Serena beckoned to him quickly, pulling one of her daggers. Alistair cast one last glance at his 'sister' before running to Serena, his hand on his sword hilt.
"No! He is ours, and I'd rather see him dead than free!" The monster rushed forward, and to Serena's horror, the children ran at them as well, brandishing fingers as sharp as knives.
"Alistair, what are you waiting for? Pull your weapon!" Serena vaulted backwards, kicking the demonic Goldanna in the face as she landed in a crouch, jamming her dagger up into the fiend's stomach.
"B-but they're... children!" Alistair fumbled with his shield, knocking the tiny spirits back tentatively.
"They're not children! She's not your sister! I'm real, and I'm being attacked!" Serena rolled away from Goldanna as she hissed furiously, clawing at Serena wherever she could reach. Serena pushed up on her arms and landed a kick to the demon's face, spinning on her heel to slice it across the neck.
Beside her she saw Alistair steel his shoulders as he whipped his long sword around and decapitated one of the children, smacking the other hard with his shield. Spinning, he drove the sword up into the small demon's middle, lifting it off the ground with the power of the thrust. Grabbing it by the scruff, he ripped the child off the end of his sword and flung him at Goldanna, knocking them both down.
"That's more like it, my prince!" Serena took the opening and charged the fake Goldanna, grabbing her and pounding her into the ground beneath her. She punched the woman in the face, all her rage at having her friends taken away over and over and being stuck in this Maker-forsaken place for so long giving her an inhuman amount of strength for her slender frame. She felt Goldanna's jaw break under her gauntleted fist, and her head fell to the side.
Serena stood, her chest heaving, as she lifted her foot and crushed the fiends' skull with the heel of her boot. "Looks like I just made mince pie out of your face, demon." She watched as the body quickly dissolved in front of her eyes. Alistair came to stand beside her, his eyes downcast.
"I can't believe it. How did I not see this earlier?" He shook his head, smiling crookedly at Serena. "Uh, try not to tell everyone how easily fooled I was, eh? Wait... wait..."
Serena could sense the familiar panic rise up in her as his body became intangible to her. "What's happening to me? Hey-" Serena reached out to touch his hand, just for a second, but like a ghost, it flowed right through her, and then he was gone, and she was alone. Unbidden, a single hot tear forced its way down her cheek.
Serena turned to the glowing pedestal, glowering angrily at the thing, and touched it for what she hoped was the last time.
Much of the Fade looked the same, like marshy swamp with twisted trees and downed pillars. It reminded Serena vaguely of the Kocari Wilds in the real world, if instead of darkspawn, the Wilds were infested with demons.
Serena pulled her daggers and strode forward, the bloody mutated form of the sloth demon standing before her.
"What do we have here? A rebellious minion? An escaped slave?" The sloth demon chuckled and Serena had to brace herself to avoid shivering at the sound. "My, my... but you do have some gall." He flung a hand out carelessly at her. "But playtime is over, and you all need to go back now..."
"You all...?" Serena looked around, confused. Slowly the forms of her companions materialized beside her. She felt relief rush through her at the sight of them.
"You tried to keep us apart." Leliana's voice was silky and dangerous as she spoke to the sloth demon. "You led us from each other because you fear our strength as a whole, don't you?"
"If you go back quietly, I'll do better this time," the sloth demon purred. "I'll make you much happier."
Serena snorted derisively. "Oh, yes, because being chased by the man I love through the halls of my dead parents castle... that was just a jolly good time! I'd really like more of that, please."
"I made you happy and safe. I gave you peace," the demon insisted in its slow drawl. "I did my best for you and you say you want to leave?"
"Happy and safe? Tell me that is a joke! He tried to kill me!" Serena knew she was making a spectacle of herself in front of her companions, in front of Alistair, but she couldn't help herself. This demon had twisted her own subconscious, things she didn't even know she desperately wanted, against her. "I'm done with your tricks and your games!"
"You wish to battle me?" The sloth demon let out another demented chuckle. "So be it... you will learn to bow to your betters, mortal."
"We'll see who is bowing before whom soon enough, demon," Serena sneered. "I made some friends in the Fade, and they taught me all kinds of fun things." Without another word, Serena shook her limbs out; casting the spell the burning templar dreamer had taught her during her journey through the Fade.
Serena felt her skin tingle as flames erupted across her, and she charged the sloth demon, wrapping her fiery arms around his neck as he, too, shifted form into an enormous ogre. Clinging to him for all she was worth, she grabbed one of his horns, pulling a dagger with the other as she stabbed into his face.
The ogre howled, tossing its head side to side in an effort to push her off. Serena jumped and rolled, landing close, and put out her hands, shooting a blast of flames at the back of the ogre. It turned, trying to focus on her, but it was being pelted with spells from Morrigan, while Alistair moved around it, slicing at its knees with his sword. Wynne stood near the back, casting healing charms while Zevran and Leliana protected her from the ogre's stomping feet.
The demon roared, changing once again, this time to a fiery rage demon, flinging blasts of flames at her companions. Serena followed suit, her body going absolutely light as her spirit form took over and she shot cold spells at the fiend with Morrigan.
Once more the demon shifted, this time into an arcade horror, able to cast a multitude of spells. Serena changed back to her human form and yelled for Alistair to dispel its magic before they were all paralyzed by the abomination.
Serena paused, waiting for an opening when all of the sudden the sloth demon turned, and she sprinted at it, her daggers out. With a quick kick, she slammed into the demon, knocking it to the ground as her body landed on top of it and she plunged her daggers into its face.
Immediately, a rush of pure energy expelled from the carcass and Serena was knocked forcefully back, the Fade world shifting again as she passed out. She opened her eyes to find Niall standing above her, his normally miserable expression replaced with one of relief.
"You... defeated the demon. I... I never expected you to free yourself, to free us both." Niall held out a hand to help her up. "When you return... take the Litany of Adralla from my... body. It will protect you from the worst of the blood magic."
"Your body? What do you mean? You're coming with us!"
"I cannot go with you," Niall said sadly. "I have been here far too long. For you it will have been an afternoon's nap. Your body won't have wasted away in the real world while your spirit lay in the hands of a demon..." He sighed. "Every minute I was here, the sloth demon was feeding off of me, using my life to fuel the nightmares of this realm. There is so little of me left..."
"I was never meant to save the Circle, or... survive its troubles. I am dying. It is as simple as that." Niall closed his eyes and Serena felt her heart break to look at him. "I do not fear what may come. They say we return to the Maker in death, and that isn't such a terrible thing." He opened his eyes again and Serena could see how earnest he was.
"My only regret is I could not save the Circle. But you can... Take the Litany, it is important!" He grabbed Serena's hands. "I... I feel I must go... please, remember... the Circle is all that matters now!"
Serena nodded, clutching the mage's hands gratefully. "Thank you, Niall."
Niall smiled, his form slowly shifting and evaporating before her. "No, my friend, thank you."