Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.

Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!

SUMMARY: At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth. At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.

Team 7's registry is now:

Sensei:

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)

Subordinate (Minions):

Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)

Haruno Sakura (Genin)

Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)

Questions and Answers:

Animelove22:

Q: Did u get that moving the village from SpongeBob squarepants?

A: Actually I got it from one piece. It's future Water 7 but on land, so viola! Wheels and the village is now portable.

CHAPTER 4 – INTRODUCTION, ANBU STYLE

ANBU Headquarters – Cafeteria

"Another miso ramen, please" I cried out. Ahhh…. Ramen. Hmm…. Wait, wasn't I suppose to be doing something? Oh! Right, the baby chicks.

"Hey Puppies! Bring me the Kittens please." I singsong. As soon as they heard puppies, my cute little dangerous murderous puppies lined up. Yup. Still having withdrawal symptoms.

"Kitten? When did you get cats?" My poor dear confused Dragon asked.

"The new recruits. You guys are puppies. They are kittens because they're harmless but think they have claws. And I want them to pick up the baby chicks." I replied. It was completely logical to me at least but I saw confusion in their eyes. "Just get the kittens"

I finished the miso ramen that I ordered by the time my kittens are lined up. Awww….. some of them are still disgruntled. How cute.

"Alright kittens! I need you to pick up my new baby chicks. The students that our crack-pipe smoking old man 'volunteered' for me." I began to say. Oh! Is that a hiss? Huh…. It seems that even though they're disgruntled of me they're also going through withdrawal. Hmmmm… since kittens do have claws….maybe I'll assign some to the Hokage. That's something to think about…..right moving on. "Now, usually when someone is inducted, they are taken at night at a certain time and place. However, I really do need to meet them today so….. All of you are going to go get them without us telling them. It'll be their induction."

"So….let me just make sure I heard you correctly. All 80 of us are to go to the Academy to kidnap your students….. I mean baby chicks." Coyote asked.

"MmmmHmmm. Correct. Oh, and since you are going to kidnap them, do the whole bag, gags, and rope show. Now you're probably wondering why I'm sending all 80 of you guys since it's only 3 genin. Well the truth is, Kakashi shall be one of my genin too. So 78 of you guys would be bagging that giant baby chick. Please be careful. If things get out of hand just pulse me a signal and I'll come but you guys are my kittens because you have claws. So use them! Just don't kill my chicks that's all. Some rules no killing, nothing permanent. You guys do well and I'll train you guys. Now, shooo. I want them in the indoor training field A tied to a chair with the bag on their head by 1:30"

At the mention of me training them, their eyes lit up. And I swear I heard some purr. Okay, they're taking these nicknames too far. I wonder how they would do. Actually, now I'm curious. Okay! Time to stalk…. I mean observe their progress!

And what better way to observe than to be in the class itself. Okay! To the Academy!

Academy

"….. and that's what it means to be a shinobi." Dolphin finishing his speech. Argh… this is so boring…. Why did I want to do this again? Oh right, I was bored. Ah! The Jounins are coming in to pick them up. Hey, what do you know? Kakashi is actually on time.

"Kittens….pounce!" I whispered into the ANBU tattoo and 80 of my kitten obediently appeared. Huh…. Half of them did really pounced onto Kakashi. I really should be more careful with my words but it worked since it has the elements of surprise.

I sat back and watched the organized chaos that my kittens are leaving the classroom in. Oh… there goes the screeching baby chick. Ah…. At least the depressed chick is trying to fight back. Oh, there he goes. Ah… now to the main event….. my old chick. Hmm…. It looks like he dulled a bit but not that much. Still the kittens won't be a match for him. I signal to Dolphin to help out. And with an electric shock to the back of the head my old chick is down! Yay! Three for three!

Deciding to mess with the class I cried out, "Alright! We got the sharingan and the noise pollution. Retreat!" And that is how my organized chaos just turned into chaos. Alright time to go play with my new toys…. I mean students.

ANBU Headquarter – Indoor Training Field A

"Everybody report to Indoor Training Field A if you're not on an assignment! Don't worry, I'll video record it for you if you miss it" I called out into my ANBU tattoo as I watch my kittens tie up my little chicks. "Alright kittens! Seal your mask and pick up one of these kitten ones and then fall into form!"

One by one my puppies came in and stood behind me. "You my pups are going to seal your real mask and pick up a puppy mask and fall into form. In front of me!"

As my pups got their mask, I went over to the kitten to see if any of them had gotten hurt by Kakashi. Hmm….. they need to work on their dodging but otherwise it was pretty good.

When they all lined up in front of me I pulled off the bags and woke them up with a Suiton. Oh and boy did they wake up. I gave an order to a Nara to get ready to shadow possess.

Ah. Now I have their attention. Perfect.

"Hello Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I have kidnapped you guys. Should've been nicer to me in Academy, don't yeah think." I gloated in front of them. I stood in front of them looking into their face. Sasuke was a little pale. Sakura was getting red. Oh! Kakashi is perfect! Realizing just who is going to be his sensei, Kakashi faded into a ghost.

"NARUTO-BAKA! LET US GO THIS INSTANT OR I'LL POUND YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" screeched Noise Pollution. And, yup, they're surrounded with weapons pointed at them in an instant. Oh! The vicious ones are the kittens! I glance over to Kakashi and noticed that he looked like he wanted to do the same thing and was giving me adoring stares. Great. Now I'm worried about all the ex-ANBUs.

"Just knock her on her head hard without knocking her out and return" I said in a dismissive tone. *CRASH* And there goes the chair. Great. And this is why the budgets are always high. "Get her another one and splash her with water so she's completely aware."

*SPLASH* "As you can see, Sakura, insulting me, threatening me, or even THINKING of threatening me, will get you hurt." Wow, déjà vu….. oh, right the new recruits…. Where are they… ah right! They're doing some D-ranks for me. "These men and women are completely loyal to me. It's all in the mask. There are special seals there that makes them follow me to wherever and the Hokage doesn't even know about it. HAHAHAHAHA! If I say jump, what would you reply, guys?"

"HOW HIGH!" they chimed back. "If I said to jump off the bridge, what would you guys say" I continued. "YES SIR!" chimed their response. I glanced at them and noticed both Sakura and Sasuke paling really fast. Oh good. This is fun. Let's push them a little more. "Who do you belong to?" I asked. "YOU, THE COMMANDER!"

"Here, let me demonstrate these mask for you. You see here sitting next to you is Hatake Kakashi. Also known as the Copy-nin, an A rank, bordering S rank. We took him as he was coming to meet his team. Watch me put on the puppy mask and he will obey my every command." I put on the puppy mask on Kakashi and cut his binds.

"Kakashi!" I yelled. "Come here." Kakashi marched over to me right away. "Sit!" Kakashi sat. "Bark and give me 30 one finger push up!" *Bark* and started doing the pushups. I grinned. Yes, he's still one of mine even though he left. "And pup, who do you belong to?" I asked. "You, Commander-sama" he said in a reverent tone. "Go into formation."

I gave a smug look over to Sakura and Sasuke. Ah…. And there's the terror. I signal the Nara to get behind them and not let them know. It's show time!

"Now you guys are special. See this. This is the new mask. You would be completely conscious but can't do a thing but follow my commands." I showed them the chick mask which was only from the nose to the chin with a beak. I activated the silencing seal and put them on. As I did that I saw the Nara connecting his shadow to the both of them.

"Come here Sakura." I ordered and watched her walk over. "Now, your turn Sasuke." And walk over he did. I could see the terror in both their eyes as it was rolling around like crazy in their sockets.

I leaned into them and said, "And by the end of it, you'll be just as loyal to me, The Demon Lord!" I flashed my eyes with Kurama's chakra to make my eyes red with a black slit so it looked demonic. Oh….and there they go! Their eyes roll back and passed out.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" everyone was on the floor laughing their ass off.

I let them laugh awhile before I said, "Okay, guys jokes over. Replace your mask and get to work. Kakashi, stay"

"YES, SIR"

As the room emptied I turned to look at Kakashi properly. It seems the years have been rough on him mentally. Sigh. "Are you alright, Inu?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah… Yeah….I'm fine now. I'm finally home." Kakashi said in a relieved tone. I healed him anyways and activated his ANBU tattoo again. When I felt a connection I added to the connection I have with everyone, he looked over and smiled. Yeah, they may be murderous, dangerous, and crazy, but they're my pups.

I moved Sasuske and Sakura over to the couches and brought out the smelling salt. *GASP* They both woke up with a start and looked around. At the sight of me, they stiffen and paled.

"Good you're up. Follow me. And you won't like it if I make you." I said distracted as I was going through the paperwork to make then trainees. Knowing the way by heart, I didn't even look up. *THUD* Sigh. I turned around and, yup, both Sakura and Sasuke were pinned to the floor by Inu and Cat. With many more behind me. I started to develop a twitch. 'I'm not going to kill my ANBU…. Or maim….. you have to set an example. Don't kill them. Don't kill them.' I chanted that mantra in my head.

Breathe. "If you guys do not do your work and stop following me I'm going to send you to Daycare with giant diapers on for a week. Is that understood?" I said very, very sweetly. *WHOOSH* And they were gone with the wind. Sigh. Looking down at the two dumbasses I decided it was too much trouble to walk back. Flash it is then.

I nodded to both Inu and Cat to let them up and dismissed Cat. Inu kept both their hands behind them. I grabbed them and flashed to my office and walked to my desk.

ANBU Headquarter - My Office

"Have a seat." I said with a gesture and 3 chairs grew out of the ground. Inu grabbed a seat while Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee stood standing there. "Okay, but if you choose to stand then you have to stand the whole time and I promise you it will take a couple hours." And they quickly seat themselves.

"Okay, first of all lets clear the confusion and terror in your eyes." Both Sakura and Sasuke weakly protested. "What you just experience was just an ANBUs initiative or ANBU hazing. Whichever don't care what you call it. Now, usually I don't participate in this hazing and just let the seniors take care of it but you 3 are my new chicks so I had to take special care of you guys." I continued to say.

"ANBU?" Sakura whispered.

"Yes. ANBU. So you're not in any danger. Yet. At this moment. Anyways, what I mean is you're safe in this room." I saw Sasuke smirking when I confirmed that we're at the ANBU Headquarters. "Don't get a swelled head or anything because you guys were not CHOOSEN to be ANBU rather to tag along to the package." I pointed to Kakashi. He sweatdropped.

"Moving on. Your Jounin sensei would be me. "WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T EVEN PASS ACADEMY! HOW CAN YOU BE OUR JOUNIN SENSEI?" Screamed Tweedle Dum jumping up in her chair. I glared at her and she meekly sat down. "Do I have to tie you do the chair and gag you or will you let me continue?" I asked rhetorically.

"As I was saying, I am your Jounin sensei and if you don't like it then I can send you right back to the Academy." "WHAT THAT'S NOT FA-" I pointed to her chair and the legs and arms of the chair wrapped around her arms and legs. A wooden belt pulled her back down and the head rest turned into a gag. I looked at Sasuke and asked, "Do I need to do that to you too or can you control yourself?" Sasuke quickly shook his head. "Good."

"Now, as I saying for the third time, I am your Jounin sensei so you have two choices only. Academy or me as a sensei. What are your answers?"

"Stay" Sasuke said right away. I moved the gag away from Sakura's mouth for her answer. "Stay" And the gag's back on. I swear I saw humor and relief in Sasuke's eyes. Ohhh. Tweedle Dee looks like he got a fetish for bondage.

"Okay, since you guys agreed…No Inu, you don't get a choice" I said when I saw him raise his hands. He slowly lowered it pouting the entire time. Yeah. My title should change to Glorified Babysitter. "Let me tell you how things are done here. I don't ever take students because I can't show favoritism so this is already highly unconventional, but because of a bad pup I left lose, I'm stuck." Glaring at Kakashi. At least he has the decency to look sheepish.

"Now, what you heard when you were in that training field was true. I am the ANBU Commander so while I will be training you, there will be time where I'll have another ANBU babysit you while you do your exercises after I show you." I continued. I saw Kakashi's eyes glazed over in boredom. Now we can't have that…... I fired a lightning bolt at him. *ZAAP* "Oh look! You're back. I was afraid I lost you there. Now pay attention even though you know the drill. I'm not talking for my own health. I thought you would know better Inu." I scowled at him.

Sasuke raised his hands. Good he can learn. "Yes?" I asked. "Are you really the ANBU Commander and you're not just joking?" he asked politely just to play it safe.

"Yes, I am the ANBU Commander. You can even ask Kakashi there." I said as I wave a hand at Kakashi. "Yes, he is the ANBU Commander" he parroted after me. Right because that would convince him. Whatever. This is taking too long.

"Now in front of you are some forms you would need to fill and sign. Take your time looking over it." I pointed to the two folders on my desk. I let Sakura go from the chair.

"Now Kakashi, you have two options. You go back being Inu or you completely start anew. Which do you want?" I asked Kakashi. "Inu" "Okay, Inu it is. This is going to take them a while to fill and sign so if you want, there's a chair in the corner for you to sit and you can read those trash my Godfather writes." Making a shooing motion.

Looking at the time, I noticed it was 6. I made a clone and sent it to the Mission Assignment Desk while I finished up on the paperwork that decided to spawn on my desk.

2 hours later both Sasuke and Sakura said they're finished.

"Cut your palm and put it to the front of the folder and send some chakra through it. If you did it right, there should be a mask and clothes. If you did it wrong it will glow red in the parts you missed." I instructed. Ahh… you got to love seals. Less paperwork for me.

*POOF* *POOF* Two different color baby chick mask that covered the whole face popped out with clothes underneath. "If you don't like the color, too bad, that's life." I said as I saw Sakura open her mouth. "Now bring it to your left shoulder and channel some chakra. An ANBU in training mark will appear. This would be where you store your mask. This tattoo is a storage seal for your ANBU gear so you can change at any time. Now put your stuff away for now." I said as I took the two files they filled out.

"Inu, I put your stuff in your mark when I activated it. Now come here." I told him. He got up from his chair and walked over to stand in front of me. By this time Sakura and Sasuke were also standing. "Look at each other. You guys are going to be working together for a loooong time. Do you see anything you don't like? Well, I don't care. You're going to take whatever you're feeling about the other and you're going to toss it. From now on you guys are brothers and sisters. Arms, Legs, and Head. One Unit. That means I don't want to hear any Fangirl squealing (I glared at Sakura), or asking for dates. You do that when I let you go but not on my time. You guys will be eating together, bathing together, and sleeping together. For the next month you are to be joint at the hips unless I say so. I don't care that you're the opposite gender of the person next to you, you guy are to be everywhere together. If I see you apart within this month, I shall forcefully chain you guys together. Understand?" I told impatiently.

"Yes, sir!" they answered. Even though I can tell Sakura and Sasuke only answered so they can stay, I let it go. I feel sorry for Inu but then again this is payback for all those times he made fun of my height.

In a softer tone I continued, "When you walk out that door, it is to a new family. Everyone that has an active mark would be your brother and sister. You treat them with respect and they will respond back. Here, we don't care what clan you're from (I looked at Sasuke) or how rich or poor you are. We are a family. And like all families, there will be fights. The only rule that you have to follow will be: 'You may not kill, maim, or do any permeant injury whether it is mental, physical or spiritual.' Should you break this one rule, I will tear you apart piece by piece while keeping you alive the whole time just to heal you and do it again and again and again. I hope I'm very clear about this. If you have any problems, come to me or Dragon. I will be your best friend, your worst enemy, your sister, your brother, your mother, your father, your aunt, your uncle, etc. I will always be there for you whether you want me to or not. Now, if there's an emergency, just pulse your mark and I'll be there. If you are unsure about anything, ask. Politely. Now I can see that you're dead on your feet so I'll have Dragon take you to your new room. Tomorrow starts at 6am. Be ready by then and if I have to wake you up you'll all be used as target practice."

I gesture and Dragon appeared from the shadow and took them to their room. Oh boy, this is going to be a tiring month. I'll take it one day at a time.

Thanks for reading! Please review. Flames and criticize welcomed!