Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. See Ch. 1
A/N: Again so sorry for the delay. RL does not take the need for writing time into consideration. So, a little explanation. I always intended to have the situation 'resolved' this way. I think i mentioned on tumblr once that I strongly believed electricity would be a key to 'saving' stiles. I always thought if that's what kick-started it, then it better damn well be the way to save him too. Sadly, it was not the case, but alas we have the power of fic and fandom and head-canon that can resolve any situation anyway we so wish ;D Also, I include a quote from Papercut, by Zedd at the start of the chapter. I envisioned that song being played though some of the Stiles CPR scenes. Because I am continuing to whump him and agonize everyone around him.
T/W: Again, there's some mentions of 'giving up'/suicidal thoughts but nothing too direct.
Chapter 8
Right now it feels like we're bleeding
So deep that we might not get back up (Papercut, by Zedd ft. Troye Sivan)
"Stiles!" Derek roars when he sees Stiles step out of the ring. It gets drowned out by the shrill scream erupting from Lydia.
There's nothing that anyone can do but watch as Stiles body stiffens, then seizes, as he falls to the floor. His body convulses in the pooled water full of violent ticks and full body tremors as the electricity feeds into his body.
The Nogitsune, although not seizing, crumples to the ground as soon as the first tentacle of electricity strikes Stiles body. He lays silently in the confines of the mountain ash.
Derek strides forward to the boy, with no concern for himself, as Stiles body shakes violently but was suddenly pulled back. Scott has his hand wrapped around his arm. Face shocked, he turns angry eyes towards him.
"Are you crazy?" Scott snaps at him before turning away to look at Stiles forlornly. "Kira?"
"Already on it," the young kitsune says before somersaulting over Stiles and landing easily to catch the errant wires in an almost identical way to how she had saved Isaac.
Kira clasps the end of the wires with her hand, eyes glowing bright as she siphons the electricity through her palms. The pulsating, angry lines of electricity recede from Stiles shaking body and reverse back to Kira until they completely disappear. Satisfied with the result Kira discards the now useless wires to the side and nods at the group of people before her.
Melissa is the first to react, stumbling to the ground by the now lax Stiles. Her hands urgently search for a pulse and then she shakes her head in frustration.
"Raph," she snaps up at McCall. "I need your help. He's not breathing. Two rescue breaths. I'll do compressions."
McCall nods and drops down on the opposite side of the boy, tilting his head back in preparation for the breaths. Derek watches as Stiles chest rises and then falls when the breath was pushed in.
Scott and Lydia immediately go to each other. Lydia cries and buries her face in Scott's chest, refusing to watch.
"It's all my fault," Derek hears her muffled cry. "I shouldn't have let it out."
"It's not your fault," Scott's words are slurred by his own grief. "Please, Stiles. Don't do this. It can't happen again. I can't lose you too."
Derek sidesteps the still intact rings of mountain-ash and drops to his knees by McCall's side, ready to offer Melissa respite if she tires from the compressions, remembering Stiles last words to him. Of course, Stiles was prepared for this. He knew what could happen. He was prepared to die to save everyone else. The stupid, idiotic fool.
He slides his palm over Stiles unresponsive cold and wet hand, curling it over so it's wrapped tightly into his fist as he watches his body move rhythmically with each compression.
In the distance he can make out thundering footsteps on the stairs, the Sheriff's harried breathing loud in his ears, as he makes his way to the roof. And Stiles.
Stiles wake up exactly where he was the last time he had been in the white room. The Nemeton.
He blinks sluggishly as he uncurls himself. The whiteness is temporarily blinding and it isn't until it starts to fade away that he realises someone else is sitting on the opposite side of him, legs folded, arms resting on either side of their body.
Stiles recoils violently.
Only to realise it's not the Nogitsune wrapped in bandages or even a clone of him. It's a girl. A woman. Brown hair just past her shoulders. Familiar.
"Took you long enough," she says with a roll of the eyes.
"La…Laura?" he stutters. He only met her a few times as a kid but a faint familiarity was there, amplified when his brain flashes back to the dream-type memory of broken photo frames and a smiling face. The face that was now looking at him.
"In one," she nods.
"I'm dead, right?" he asks tentatively, as he resettles himself back on the stump, feeling more at ease in her presence. "That's why I'm here."
"Hold your horses, kid…" Laura says with a roll of the eyes. "Right now there's a bunch of people trying to keep you alive."
"Bardo?" he asks
Laura looks around and shrugs.
"Maybe they should just let me go," Stiles mutters, shame washing over him.
Laura's eyes harden and suddenly she's right there in front of him, an obvious Hale glare angrily there with her. A coldness seeps into him at the rush of the movement. He's not sure if it's because he's currently in close proximity of someone who's dead or if it's because he's obviously dying.
"You're talking shit, Stilinski…" she snaps at him.
"Am I?" he snaps back. He rolls off the nemeton and paces back and forth in an angry stride. "People are dead because of me. I let him in."
"Oh, okay then," Laura says with a roll of the eyes. "If that's how it is then I guess it's my fault too. If I had been a bit clearer with my messages then maybe none of this would have happened."
"But you were!" Stiles yells, feeling tears prickle his eyes. "I didn't listen."
"Yes you did," she says quietly. He feels his hand being tugged until he's sitting back on the stump, legs over the side. She releases it and settles her own fingers next to his. The coldness remains but Stiles doesn't seem to mind, feeling a calmness between them. "They were warnings, yes. But there wasn't much you could have done. The ball was already rolling."
"Because of what me, Scott and Allison did?" he asks quietly. She nods at him and he shakes his head again. "So it is my fault then."
"Are you seriously telling me you wouldn't have done it if you had a second chance," Laura asks softly. "You saved three people, Stiles. Your dad included."
Stiles shrugs and then buries his palms into his eyes. "I don't know," he whispers. He feels ashamed that he honestly can't answer the question. Would he? Would he save Melissa? Chris? His dad? Even if he knew what would happen after? How much people would suffer because of his own selfishness?
"I know you would have," she tells him. "And no one judges you for that."
"I still…" Stiles starts, he drops his hands and shakes his head. "A lot of people are still dead."
"All the Nogitsune," Laura buts in. "None of it was you."
"And Kira," Stiles continues. "I wrote the code for Barrow."
"No you didn't," Laura states, leaning forward. She actually winces and looks apologetic. "That wasn't a code for Barrow. It was a warning to you."
Stiles blinks in surprise.
"What?"
"Barrow was already being controlled by the Nogitsune," Laura insists. "He didn't need a code to tell him to go after Kira. He already knew. That code was our way of telling you that Kira was in danger."
"Maybe make it clearer next time?" Stiles asks dryly, with raised eyebrows, "And not send me somewhere where I get electrified into an evil fox spirit?"
"The dead can't always communicate clearly," she shrugs and then smirks. "And we don't always make good decisions."
Stiles snorts and then break into a watery grin.
It seems to please Laura who smiles back. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a while."
"You… you watch me?"
"We watch over all of you," she says. She lifts her hand and places her palm against the side of his face until a coldness rests there, although he can't quite feel skin against skin. "Don't ever think you're alone."
Stiles nods, biting his lip.
"So what now?" he asks.
"Right now," Laura says. "We have some unfinished business that needs to be addressed."
"Like what?"
"Like closing a door."
The Sheriff is inconsolable when he barrels though the door to see Stiles lifeless on the ground, Melissa and McCall trying to pump what little life they can into his abused and damaged body. The new deputy is with him – Parrish – who immediately tries to pull the older man away.
The CPR seems ineffective. Stiles continues to lay unresponsive and cold. Derek listens for any signs of life – a small beat to the heart, the sound of a lung inhaling and exhaling – but all he can hear is the loud thunderous beats from everyone else and McCall's loud controlled breaths as he pushes them into Stiles mouth.
Derek glances away, not wanting to see the agent's attempts, and catches sight of the burn marks that littered Stiles right arm. He knows there's a similar one on the right side of his face too.
"Derek," Melissa says with a frown between rounds of compressions. "We need him cognizant when he comes around."
When, not if.
She nods down at his own hand where it's still wrapped around Stiles un-injured hand. He'd been siphoning pain – god, could he even feel anything when he was technically dead? He releases Stiles hand, surprised with himself. He hadn't even realised he'd been doing it.
Melissa was obviously tiring. Arms trembling, face flushed, she kept rubbing the side of her face against her shoulder in an attempt to wipe away at the mixture of salty tears and building perspiration.
"Let me take over," he says, gesturing to the curly haired nurse.
She stubbornly shakes her head.
"Let me help," Derek repeats, gently placing his hand over her trembling ones and pushing them away.
"O- okay…" she stutters and Derek automatically continues the last few pumps to the chest to allow McCall the next round of breaths.
"Don't give up," the Sheriff says quietly and Derek isn't sure who he's talking to.
"You okay to continue?" he asks McCall who nods in response.
"It's been too long," he hears Lydia mutter tearfully.
"She's right," McCall grimly states.
"We're not giving up," Derek snaps, head snapping to look at the man.
"We need to restart his heart," Melissa states.
"How about a defib?" McCall asks.
"There's not enough time to get one," Melissa shakes her head frustratingly. She glances around her and then settles on Kira.
"Kira?" she asks sharply.
Kira flinches at her name.
"Yes?" she asks, voice unsure.
"You just channelled a hella lot of electricity. You think you can put some of it to use?"
"You want to electrocute my son again?" the Sheriff asks, worried.
She turns to look at the man.
"Just enough to restart his heart."
"You want me to shock him?" Kira asks. She frowns and worries her lips between her teeth, glancing at Scott. "I don't… I don't know how."
It makes sense, but he's startled by how clearly petrified and unsure she is – she's young and hasn't even mastered controlling her aura – and yet here they were asking her to push just enough electricity into Stiles to get his heart beating again.
"Isaac," he snaps over his shoulder to where he knows the boy is standing. "Go and find a defib. Just in case."
Isaac nods and then darts away
"There's a hand held one in exam room 3. Next floor down," Melissa shouts after him before turning her attention back to the young kitsune. "I just want you to try."
Kira looks uncertainly at Scott who nods back at her.
"Okay," she stutters, coming over to where they were crouched. "I'll try."
They have to walk quite away through the white room until they find a door.
Stiles points out several times that there isn't a door, that there's only white floors and walls and an annoying tree stump that never looks too far away, while Laura just rolls her eyes and channels a Derek-like scowl of annoyance at him. Strangely, it settles him.
"Oh," Stiles exclaims out loud, surprised when a door suddenly appears. He swears that there was nothing there before. "That's a door."
"Obviously," Laura says with another roll of her eyes. She claps a hand, hard against his shoulder. Or, at least, tries to. There's coldness that pushes hard into his shoulder, causing him to stumble. "At it, Stilinski."
"Hey," he mutters, rubbing at where he thinks Laura struck him. "At least I know physical aggression is a Hale thing."
"Or maybe it's just a Stilinski thing?"
"Definitely a Hale thing," Stiles shakes his head and then turns away to look at the door. "FYI. I don't think it's as easy as that. It's a supernatural door in my supernatural subconscious. I don't think I can just go up to it and shut it.
"Yes you can," Laura sighs, sounding tired and annoyed.
"No, you can't…" a voice says from the door.
"Oh, look who's here…" Stiles mutters sarcastically as the other him appears in the doorway. "Now the party can really start."
"You can't get rid of me that easily," the Nogitsune tutters. "Just like you can't close this door."
"Don't listen to him," Laura says, irritated. "It's just a door. You can close it."
Stiles eyes the door wearily, wondering if they were a safe distance away.
"Can he come through it," he asks, worried.
"No," Laura says, shaking her head.
"Nice touch with the mountain ashy by the way," the Nogitsune version of him says. He pushes himself up against the barrier and grins, despite the obvious pain it must cause. "And the electricity. I didn't see that coming."
"Because we don't think exactly the same," Stiles says, relieved at the thought.
"Touché," Nogitsune nods at him. "But I'm still here."
"Not for long," Laura grits her teeth. "Don't listen to him, Stiles. You can shut the door."
"You can't shut me out, Stiles…" he says. Stiles starts to feel sick as the Nogitsune grin widens. He pats at the invisible mountain ash barrier with his hand, pulling it back and breathing with satisfaction at the pain it causes. "I'll always be here, just under the skin. They'll be a darkness."
"Deaton warned me about that," Stiles says. He shrugs in disinterest, refusing to admit the nogitsune's words bothered him.
"An itch just under the skin," the Nogitsune continues, smiling cruelly. "That'll be me."
"I'll deal with it," Stiles mutters at him. "You're not pulling the strings anymore."
"You can't stop me, Stiles. I'm a thousand years old…" he starts to repeats again. Stiles rolls his eyes. Doesn't this guy have any other lines, he thinks to himself. "This was my game. You can't close the-…"
"Oh, shut the fuck up," Stiles snaps seconds before he marches up to the door, slamming it shut right in the nogitsune's startled face.
There's a stunned silence after.
"That was…" Laura starts to say.
"Awesome?" Stiles asks with a sheepish grin, turning to look at her.
"Yeah," she smirks and nods at him and then turns on her heel. "And completely not needed. You could have shut the door when I first told you," she says over her shoulder.
"Yeah," Stiles says, having to trot to keep up with her. "Sorry about that," he says a second before he suddenly doubles over, a hot white pain exploding in his chest. "Oh my fucking god," he practically screams out.
"Stiles?" Laura's at his side in an instant.
"Am I dying?" he asks, trying to push himself upright, feeling his chest muscles cramp. "For real this time."
Laura's cold ghostly hands hover over him, between touching and not touching, in her limbo-dic state. "No," she says, smiling at him reassuringly. "You're friends are saving you."
It takes a while for Kira to channel enough electricity to emit a charge but as soon as little sparks appear Melissa directs the kitsune's hand to Scott's chest.
"There's no harm in trying," Melissa says out loud and she's right. Stiles is categorically dead. There's no pulse. He's not breathing. And there's no signs of Isaac and the emergency defibrillator either.
Kira's hesitant at first, giving Stiles small bursts of charge that do nothing but cause his body to stiffen and then fall lax again. This process repeats itself a few times, only pausing for Melissa to check for signs of life and Derek and McCall to slip back in with their practiced routine.
"Isaac you better have found it," Derek mutters quietly, not satisfied with their progress. Stiles has been down for too long. Too long to be healthy, he thinks.
"I can do it," Kira says with sudden determination and orders everyone to clear again.
She doesn't at first and Derek is about to flat out yell for Isaac to get his ass back there when Kira snaps loudly in his ear. "CLEAR."
This time her eyes glow startlingly bright and her aura shines, the shape of the fox-spirit clearly framed around her. From the gasps around him he knows the others can see it too. Melissa immediately draws her hands away from Stiles body. Derek shoves at McCall's when he sees the older man's hesitancy.
Stiles body arches again, before falling back to the ground. There's an unmistaken sound of a fluttered heart-beat and then silence again.
"Whatever you just did," Derek orders, grabbing at Kira's outstretched hand. "Do it again."
"Holy shit," Stiles complains, rubbing at his chest. "That fucking hurts."
"It's supposed to," Laura grins. She joins him back on the nemeton where Laura had just dumped him. "Feeling pain is good. It means you're still connected to the land of the living."
"You can't feel pain?" he asks.
"You could punch me in the face and I wouldn't feel a thing," she says with a satisfied shrug.
"You're a werewolf," he deadpans. And then frowns. "Can I even touch your face? What with you being dead and all."
"Stop avoiding."
"Avoiding what?" he asks before another wave of pain ripples across his chest. Whiteness explodes behind his eyeballs. When he blinks it away, Laura is still there, body shimmery and wavering before it settles back into shape again.
"That," she says, pointing at him. "You need to go."
Stiles straightens up, looking Laura hard in the eye.
"What if I don't deserve to go back?" he asks, sounding unsure of himself.
Laura sighs loudly beside him.
"We've been through this." She says quietly. "It's not your fault."
Stiles doesn't respond. He glances away and drops his head down, staring at his feet.
"You don't belong here, Stiles…" Laura shakes her head at him. "This isn't the afterlife. I don't even belong here. Do you know how hard it was for me to get here? This place might be full of light but it's only masking the darkness. And it definitely didn't want me here."
She rolls her eyes at the curious look Stiles gives her. "C'mon," she says. "It was created by the Nemeton. It was never going to be good."
"I guess," Stiles says. He plays with a thread on his sleeve. Not good. Maybe it's exactly where he needs to be. Not good. Not good. Not good.
"You don't belong here," She repeats, her tone firmer. "Scott needs you. Derek needs you. And what about your dad?"
"Don't," he says weakly. He doesn't want to talk about his dad. About how devastated he'd be if Stiles stayed dead. Of course, he knew. He'd barely survived his wife dying and had only managed to drag himself out of his grief, and the bottom of a bottle, because his son had needed him. He wouldn't have that this time. He wouldn't have that protective factor to stop the spiralling depression and pit of despair. Stiles shakes his head to try and stop the destructive thoughts burning his already sore chest further.
"You're going to do great things, Stiles…" Laura continues, seemingly unaware or ignoring the fact that Stiles is lost in his thoughts. "You need to survive."
"I don't need to do anything," Stiles mutters bitterly. "I think Stiles has done enough."
"You have," Laura agrees, nodding. "And so have I. I can't stay here much longer."
"Then take me with you," he asks, lifting his head and looking at her. He feels his eyes pool with tears. "Don't leave me here."
"It doesn't work like that, kid…" she states sadly and then shakes her head. "Besides, if I brought you back there's going to be a lot of people ready to tear my ass asunder."
"Like my mom?" Stiles asks, voice cracking. He releases the thread between his thumb and finger and ends up twisting the bottom of his sleeve instead.
"Yeah," Laura smiles sadly, lifting a hand to rest it beside his face. It's wavering again, falling in and out of focus. "She'd be really disappointed if you gave up."
Laura sits back and Stiles nods, wiping at his eyes with the back of his sleeve.
"Is Allison there too?" he asks.
"I haven't met her," Laura shakes her head. "But I know she's there. And I know she wants you to survive."
Laura leans over again, resting her mouth against his ear. There's a rush of muffled voices, Stiles can't really decipher what anyone is saying, but he thinks they sound familiar just the same. Laura's voice slips in between them. "It's time to go home," she breathes quietly into his ear.
"Wait!" Stiles gasps.
Laura pauses and pulls back questionably.
"Do you have a message for Derek?" suddenly remembering he's talking to Derek's sister. Derek's dead sister. Who has trouble communicating, apparently. "I can do that. Pass a message on, I mean."
"It's okay," Laura shakes her head and smiles at him. "Derek already knows."
She suddenly manages to shove him back down on the nemeton, with more force than necessary… well he suddenly finds himself lying like a star-fish across the tree stump and not really knowing how he got there. Laura looms above him and rolls her eyes. "What are you waiting for? Wake up already."
She grins once more before flicking him right between the eyes just as world explodes in another wave of pain and light, ripping him violently from the white room and sending him crashing back to reality.
"AGAIN!" Melissa barks at them.
"CLEAR!" Kira shouts out before charging another bolt out of her palm and into Stiles chest.
Stiles arches off the floor again and then slumps back. This time the flutter of the heart that follows stays and beats loudly in Derek's ears.
"He's back!" Derek snaps in relief even before Melissa has a chance to check his pulse at the side of his neck. McCall tracks Melissa's movements for confirmation. When she nods in agreement the man drops his head in relief, muttering under his breath.
"Thank you," he hears a voice crack brokenly. Glancing over his shoulder he sees that the Sheriff has slumped down the wall, face wet with tears. Parrish is crouched next to him, hand resting on his arm. "Oh god. Thank you. Thank you."
Stiles suddenly sucks in a breath, arching off the floor again, this time by his own volition, as he coughs and hacks.
"Hey, hey…" Derek leans down, trying to reassure the sudden shaking figure. He helps Melissa roll him over into the recovery position, knowing it would be more comfortable and also safer for the still not quite with it boy. Stiles doesn't resist, lolling over easily, flopping on his side and rolling against Derek's leg. "It's okay. You're okay. Just breathe, Stiles…" Derek instructs.
Stiles continues to cough and hack, sucking in lungful's of air.
"Shh, you're okay," Derek soothes, planting his warm hand against the back of Stiles wet shirt, feeling the cold skin through the thin shirt, rubbing gently. "Just breathe."
"Der…Derek?" Stiles chokes on the word, bringing bile and saliva with it. A cold hand suddenly comes up, struggling to find purchase, before it twists weakly into his own shirt.
"I'm right here," Derek reassures him, patting his back. "I'm not leaving. Not again."
Stiles nods and pushes his forehead against Derek's knee, breathing shakily against it.
"Dad?" Stiles asks, calling out.
"I'm here son," the Sheriff says, coming over straight away. McCall moves out of the way, standing up, allowing the man space to reach his son.
Stiles immediately tries to push himself up, in search of his dad's voice. He glances up blearily and Derek can tell he's disorientated and dizzy. There's tears in his eyes.
"Hey now," the Sheriff admonishes. His hand falls to Stiles face, and pushes the wet hair away from where's it's plastered to his forehead, before resting his palm there. "Stop that."
"Dad," Stiles croaks out, tears falling and mixing with his already wet face. He sags after a few seconds of pathetically trying to claw his way up and drops his face back against Derek's leg. Derek can still feel the tremors against him and the distinctive scent of his tears, mingling with his anxiety and other tumultaneous emotions.
"Just stay down," the Sheriff says, running his hand backwards, through his son's hair. "Get your breath back." Even as he says it, Derek can see the older man take a shuddering breath of his own. "That was one hell of a time-out, kid."
Derek chuckles because it's probably the understatement of the year.
McCall mutters something and Derek turns his head, curious.
"Hmm," the Agent says, pointing to the other side of the roof. "Where's the other him gone?"
Derek had concentrated so much on Stiles he hadn't even realised the mountain ash now was missing the entrapped embodiment.
"He just disappeared," Parrish speaks up. "One minute he was there and the next he was wasn't."
"Poof," Stiles manages to cough out and then laugh, which only adds to another coughing fit. "Gone."
"Stiles?" Scott asks, stepping forward. "What did you do?"
"Closed the door," Stiles finally says, sounding sleepy and exhausted. "Laura helped."
"What?" Derek exclaims, startling everyone, apart from Stiles who promptly passes out.
He only has a second to process what Stiles has said, silently reprimanding him for dropping that bombshell on him, when he realises that the nogitsune wasn't the only thing that had gone. The electrical burns, right there in front of his eyes, were slowly receding until they disappeared completely.
Afterwards the only two things that were left to indicate something had happened was the zing of electricity and the slight arrhythmia to Stiles heart-beat.
tbc