Disclaimer: Legendarily Quiet does not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Roy didn't want to do it.

Of course, everything he had had to do to take care of Edward had started out awkward and uncomfortable at first, but he was one hundred and ten percent sure that this would be the worst. He'd sooner face a hundred piles of paperwork and the point of Hawkeye's gun than attempt to do what had to be done.

Roy ripped off another chunk of garlic bread and placed it into Ed's waiting mouth.

How was he even supposed to bring it up? He didn't want to offend the boy – it wasn't like Ed could help it – but this needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later. He didn't want to torture Ed and wait until Ed had to ask him to do it; that would be just plain cruel.

Roy twirled some spaghetti around a fork – the way you were supposed to do it – and placed it neatly inside Ed's mouth.

Well, he had never been one to beat around the bush with his youngest subordinate unless he wanted to purposely make him angry. Manning up and saying it like it was would be the only way to do it in this situation.

But of course, he'd wait until Edward was done eating.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

The teen looked content, sitting there with his eyes closed and his head resting back on the couch. Roy hated to destroy this picture of peace, but it had to be done. He took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"I'm going to give you a bath tonight." Roy had learned that it was sometimes better to just say things as statements instead of asking whether Ed wanted to do something or not, so that the teen wouldn't feel too embarrassed for accepting help when he would normally decline.

Ed's eyes snapped open and he turned to Roy with an angry look in his eyes, his face flushed red. He opened his mouth, no doubt with a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue, but then froze and turned his head to the side abruptly. Roy couldn't blame him. There was really nothing that could be said or done to make this situation seem any less embarrassing. Roy decided not to wait for Edward to give a reply and got up from the couch carefully.

"I'll go fill the tub."

Edward's mind was racing as he listened to the sound of Roy's footsteps going up the stairs. What kind of cruel and unusual punishment was this? Yes, he had known that this would be coming sooner or later, but it didn't make it any less horrifying now that it was actually happening! Ed wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. He, the Fullmetal Alchemist, was going to be bathed like a baby – and by his commanding officer no less! This was a new low, even for him. This would surely be the most humiliating thing to ever happen to him in his entire military career.

And probably for the rest of his life, too.

Edward's eyes darted around frantically. Even though his wheelchair was practically right beside him, it was impossible for him to get in it. Heck, he had been more physically able during the days when he was missing an arm and a leg!

Ed's stomach dropped as he heard the sound of running water coming from upstairs. The colonel was really going to do this. Gosh, Edward really was pathetic, wasn't he? If Mustang wanted to get rid of him after this, Ed wouldn't blame him. After all, there was only so far a superior officer could be willing to go.

Roy stared without seeing as the bathtub filled up with water. How would he even go about doing this? He had never bathed someone else before in his entire life! Honestly, he was more worried about messing up and making Edward feel more humiliated than he needed to be than by seeing the boy naked.

They were both over that by this point anyways.

Roy added some liquid bubble bath to the running water and watched as the tub filled up with bubbles. He had been surprised to discover that he even had any liquid bubble bath. If he recalled, one of his dates had given it to him as a present some time ago . . .

Roy shook his head. Now was not the time to be thinking of that. He had told Edward that he would take care of him to the best of his abilities, and Roy intended to do just that. He wasn't going to let this little hurdle stop him; he'd give Edward the best damn bath he'd ever had in his life!

Roy left the bathroom and made his way to his bedroom. He exchanged his button up shirt and trousers for a simple T-shirt and pajama bottoms. After making sure that all the materials he needed were situated neatly in the bathroom with him, Roy turned and headed down the stairs to collect his charge. Edward didn't say a word as Roy lifted him up bridal style and carried him up the stairs.

Roy tried to diffuse the tension. "Just relax, Ed. Despite what you may think, I'm not actually a pervert."

"You could've fooled me." Ed's gaze was to the side, his face still red, and for a moment Roy seriously wondered if Ed knew that this was just a joke.

Oh well, it didn't matter because Roy only looked at women anyway.

He looked down at the teen with pity. His heart went out to the boy, it really did. Edward was a prideful boy, through and through, and the last few days had really pushed him to his limits. But Roy was confident that after – if – they got through this, then they would be through with all the embarrassment and awkwardness of this whole situation.

He gave the boy in his arms a light squeeze. "Don't worry Ed," he said. "I'll take care of you."

Edward sighed as he was lowered into the water. The steam rose up to meet his face, and the hot water sent warmth down to his core. This was exactly the kind of relaxation that he had been missing out on recently.

"Is the water OK?"

"It's perfect." Ed sighed and felt himself sink lower into the water. "Don't let me drown now," he said, just as Roy propped him up again.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Now that Edward was actually in the tub, he couldn't see what he had been so worried about. The colonel had been quick and efficient in taking off his clothes, and his hands had never . . . yeah.

"Let's wash your hair first."

The colonel tipped his head back and used a cup to pour water over his hair. Ed sighed as Roy ran his fingers through his wet locks. It had been years since he had let someone else wash his hair, and he had forgotten how good it felt.

Roy squirted some shampoo onto his palm and brought his hands to Edward's hair. The boy's hair was smooth and silky, and Roy couldn't resist running his hands through it again and again. He buried his hands in Edward's hair and massaged his scalp gently.

"W-what are you doing?" Edward jerked his head to the side to look at the colonel, but Roy just took a firm hold of it and turned his head back to its original position.

"Calm down, Edward. This is supposed to be relaxing."

Edward didn't say anything, and Roy took it as a sign to continue his massage. Ed's body didn't have any tension – he couldn't command his muscles, after all – but Roy knew that he was starting to relax when he saw Ed's eyes fall close and his expression smooth out. Everything was quiet and Roy soon lost himself in the simple task of shampooing Ed's hair.

"Mmmmm."

Ed's eyes snapped open and Roy suppressed the urge to chuckle at his horrified expression. Edward cleared his throat awkwardly and slid his gaze over to Roy. When they made eye contact, Roy could no longer help it and let the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.

"Shut up!" Ed's cheeks flushed red and he cast his gaze downwards.

"It's okay to enjoy it, Edward." Roy massaged Ed's head a little harder, "I'm trying to make it feel good."

Edward jerked his head out of Roy's grasp and gave him a reproachful look. "Don't tease me," he said.

Oh God, was Ed pouting?

"I'm not teasing you Ed," Roy reached for another cupful of water. "Now close your eyes."

Edward obliged and Roy rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. There. The easy part was done. Now for the hard part . . .

Edward pursed his lips as Roy soaped up a washcloth. He resisted the urge to shudder as Roy rubbed it against his collarbone.

C'mon! He was the Fullmetal Alchemist, for crying out loud! If he could endure automail surgery, than he could sure as hell get through this without making a big deal out of it!

Ed tipped his head back as Roy moved up to scrub his neck. He had to admit that just as the shampooing had been, this felt good. Who knew that Roy had the magic touch?

Seriously, the man could've chosen to be a massage therapist or something instead of joining the military!

Edward let out a hum of satisfaction as Roy suddenly slipped his bare hand to the back of his neck and started kneading the muscle there. He basked in the wonderfulness of it all until Roy's low laugh made Ed realize exactly what he was allowing, and he jerked his head away – how many times was it now? – and glared at Roy.

"What do you think you're playing at?!"

"Ah." Roy had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry Ed; I just couldn't resist once I realized how much you enjoyed getting massaged."

Ed didn't know what to say. How was someone even supposed to reply to that in this situation? He would be lying if he said he didn't like it, but the whole situation made him feel awfully uncomfortable . . .

Luckily, Ed didn't have to say anything as Roy filled up the silence. "I guess the timing isn't . . . appropriate right now. I'm sorry and I won't do it again."

Edward huffed and turned his head away. "Whatever."

What a loss.

"Maybe later, though."

It took a lot of willpower to keep his expression neutral, but with the lack of a smirk on Roy's face, Ed thought he had done a pretty good job of hiding his delight.

Roy resumed his scrubbing. Edward's flesh arm, torso, back, and flesh leg were no problem. Roy tensed and the both of them sat in awkward silence when he realized that there was still a . . . sensitive area left to clean. Roy tried to mentally console Edward. It wasn't like he could see anything – bubbles still dominated the tub, and he would be very, very quick. Ed was staring straight at the wall, and Roy couldn't blame him. After taking a subtle, deep breath, Roy plunged his hand beneath the water and did it. He even had to lift Edward up to get . . . behind him.

Roy wondered just how red Ed's face could get.

Edward lay on his bed, wearing a tank top and boxers. He was instructing the colonel on how to dry his automail properly, and so far the man was proving to be competent.

"Just bend the elbow and – yeah, you got it."

"This isn't hard at all," Roy said, drying the automail as if he was polishing it. "I don't know why Al always says that you never maintain it."

Ed let out an explosive breath. "It just takes so much damn time!" he said. "It shouldn't take so long just to dry an arm, not to mention oil it!"

"Oh, that's right!" Roy brought a hand to his forehead. "We need to oil your automail joints, don't we?"

Well . . . he didn't need to oil it. It wasn't like Ed was running around and fighting anymore.

"You can just skip it," Ed said dismissively. "It'll be fine for a good long while still."

"Nice try, Ed," Roy said. "We'll go buy some oil right after your doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"My what?!"

"Your doctor's appointment," Roy said. "Dr. Westwood wants to monitor your condition, remember?"

Ah, that was right. The stern doctor who made nurses poke him with needles had wanted to monitor his condition. Hmm, maybe that was why Roy gave him a bath, so that he'd be presentable tomorrow.

Speaking of baths . . .

"Thanks Roy."

"No problem," Roy said, placing Ed's arm down and starting to work on his leg. "Your doctor's appointment gives me a valid reason not to go to work tomorrow, so it's a win-win situation, really."

"No – I meant," damn it, Ed could feel his face heating up again, "gosh, I really am pathetic, aren't I?"

Roy looked up sharply, his hands suddenly still. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can't feed myself, or change my own clothes," Ed gave a little laugh. "I can't even give myself a bath. I can't freaking move Roy, and you have to do everything for me. I'm just a burden to you, worse than useless –"

"Stop." Suddenly Roy was there above him, gripping his shoulders. "Edward, I want you to stop this right now."

Ed pretended that his vision wasn't blurring as he waited for the colonel to continue. Whatever he said next, Ed could take it. Even if his body wouldn't work for him, he would force his mind to accept that some burdens were just too much for some people. Roy was an alchemist, why was he even doing this without getting something in re–

"You are not a burden, Edward," Roy said, his voice strong. "Everything I do to take care of you, I do willingly and with open arms."

"But –"

"I'm not doing this because I have to, and I'm not doing this because I want something from you."

Oh, what a lie that was. There were a lot of things Roy wanted from Ed. Trust, love, and forgiveness, to name a few.

"I'm doing this because I want to. There's a big difference, you know."

"Why?" Ed's voice sounded desperate, and Roy was reminded of when Edward was crying on his couch and yelling at him to go away only a few days ago. "Why do you want to?"

That was the million cenz question, wasn't it? Roy already knew the answer, but how would Ed react to it?

Roy looked down at the boy he was practically pinning by the shoulders. He could tell that Ed was trying hard not to cry, but his breathing was already laboured and his eyes looked wet.

Roy didn't like to see Edward like that.

In one fluid motion, Roy pulled Ed up into a sitting position, and wrapped his arms around the teen. Ed didn't hug him back – of course – but that didn't stop Roy from holding him tightly. With one hand on his back, he brought the other to the back of Ed's head and tilted it just enough so he could whisper in his ear.

"I want to take care of you," he breathed, "because I care about you, Edward."

Roy brought his hands back to Ed's shoulders so that he could look him in the eye. "When you care about someone, you want to do everything in your power to make them happy and keep them safe."

Edward's eyes were wide, and his mouth formed a little 'o', as if he could not quite believe what he was hearing. "I will do everything in my power to make you happy and keep you safe Ed." Before the teen could say anything, Roy pulled him in for another hug that would've made Armstrong proud.

"I promise."

Lengendarily Quiet: WOOHOO, the special chapter is finally out, despite the fact that it took, like . . . a long time. Congratulations to everyone who guessed it right!

Lest: I still don't get what's so special about a bathtub scene.

L.Q: I am a crazy fangirl before I am a writer, Lest. You're the one who had to watch me sick that fangirl all over this chapter, so you better remember that, for any and all future craziness.

Lest: . . .

L.Q: Everyone, I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I'm not going to make anymore promises. The next chapter will come out when it comes out.

Lest: In the meantime, let's all busy ourselves with leaving a review!

L.Q: Please give me a review. They give me life . . .