So this is a REALY long chapter, and I was planning to make it longer, but I figured close to 5000 words would be enough for this one, heh heh. But anyways, yeah so this chapter starts out a bit sad, then gets fluffy! but then ends on kind of a depressing point, but don't worry, it will get better, I hope... well I think so anyway. Again feel free to review or PM me with any questions or suggestions, or even just to yell at me cuz I have too much OOC! Really I don't mind. Oh and be forewarned, the rating will be changing a lot sooner than expected so non M readers be warned! I wont be putting any Lemony goodness just yet, but it will get a bit graphic, or as graphic as I can come up with anyway, so just be warned.

And again, I own nothing but any OC I might through in there and the crazy idea for this story.

Please enjoy :)

The morning was bright, and warm, but not too warm, the kind of morning that could make one spring up from their bed and embrace the day and all of its glory, but one particular heartbroken girl felt like doing anything but, odd because on even the stormiest of mornings she would usually hop out of bed and face the day with a smile and an energetic "Hahi!". Today however, Haru growled as she rolled out of her bed; her head felt like it was being compressed in a vacuum and spun around at 100 miles an hour, and as the sun shown threw her window, she couldn't help but wonder if this was what a hangover felt like as she shielded her eyes from the light, because if so, than she was never going to drink… at least not enough to get a hangover…
Last night was a blur of heart ache, tears, and more than one tub of frozen yogurt she had at some point gone down to get during the night. As she stumbled into her bathroom, she noted that even in her self-pitting state last night, she was still able to clean up after herself and deposit the left over packaging of her snack into the garbage can. She sighed as she entered her bathroom cursing and blessing her uncontrollable need to leave thing clean and to be organized. Although today her organizational skills where a bit more of a blessing than a curse as she had no more packing to do, having lied last night to get away from the party that had turned into her own little personal hell, a wonderful thing seeing as all she wanted to do was take a long shower before she even thought about doing anything else. In fact, as Haru went through the motions of getting ready in the morning, she hardly thought at all, simply letting her body take over and get ready as she let her mind have the rest that seemed to have eluded her the night before.

She was in the kitchen starting on breakfast for her and her parents before something happened to bring her mind back from its peaceful abyss. "Hahi!" she said as she jumped, almost spilling the omelet she was making all over herself and the ground, as a loud knocking came from her front door. She sighed and took the pan off of the heat as she contemplated on which one of her friends had come to check up on her, but right before she reached the door, she froze as a horrible thought crossed her mind What if it's one of Them…

She stood frozen for a few moments and prayed to any God still listening that it was someone other than Tsuna or Kyoko, hopping desperately for Chrome, or Yamamoto. But as she stood their silently praying, the person on the other side of the door become a bit impatient.

"Oi! Stupid woman! Open the door already! I can hear you mumbling through the door."

"Hahi!" Haru said as she threw the door open and was confronted with the smell of gun powder, smoke and a sent that was uniquely his, along with a pair of bright green/golden yes that shown with a bit of concern, but an over lining shine of annoyance. "Took you long enough, stupid woman" Gokudera Hayato muttered as he pulled the cigarette he had been smoking out of his mouth and put it out, looking at the girl in front of him up and down as she stood stunned that he of all people was currently on her door step. And as he looked closer at the state the girl in front of him was in, the shine in his cat like eyes began to shift from annoyance to worry. "Oi! Earth to Haru! You there you stupid woman?" he asked as he waved a hand in front of Haru's face, effectively braking the trance she had fallen into.

"Hahi! Haru is fine Gokudera-san, but don't call her stupid!" she halfheartedly pouted as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her. As much as she loved her parents, they would only make an unnecessary fuss about Gokudera's presence, making things worse by assuming they were together, or inviting him in for breakfast to interrogate the poor boy on what he thought of their Haru. And as much as Haru would love to see Gokudera uncomfortable, they didn't have much time until their departure and she was not in the mood to answer questions about her love life, especially not with her mom, as she had come in a few times last night to check up on her, and Haru was still dodging her questions on who had made her feel that way. As much as she was obsessed with Tsuna when she was around him, she did have other things on her mind at home, regardless of what others thought, like the fact that her father was looking into jobs in America, though now that didn't seem as tragic as it used to…

Gokudera sighed as he shook his head and looked the girl in front of him up and down one more time. His fist clenched and his anger at his boss worsened despite his efforts to keep it at bay. He felt like the biggest ass in the world for even thinking about being angry at Tsuna, he was his right hand man for the Gods sake! But as he looked into Haru's sleep deprived and puffy eyes that lacked their usual shine and excitement for life that had made him look twice at this particular stupid woman, that shine that always seemed to help him when he was feeling down, at first without him even realizing they did… Hayato had the sudden urge to hit the Vongola Decimo. A thought that was immediately replaced with guilt, until he looked into Haru's eyes again, and the endless emotional cycle he had been dealing with since she ran out of her party yesterday, the tears she was trying to hide already shining in her eyes, continued to run through his mind.

Haru shivered and rubbed her arms as she averted her eyes from the ones that seemed to be reading into her soul. She knew what she looked like, she had spent and extra five minutes washing her face to try and get the swelling in her eyes down to no avail, but the concern she saw shining in Gokudera's eyes was more than that of a concern friend and it make her broken heart feel light and odd, a feeling she wasn't sure she was ready to feel just yet, especially when it is derived by the looks this particular boy gives her. As far as she knew, as of yesterday morning they were sworn enemies fighting for Tsuna-san's attention, a battle both of them lost…

"I knew it…" Gokudera sighed as he watched Haru avert her eyes as they started to tear up again, making her jump a little.

"Hahi! You knew what Gokudera-san? And what are you doing at Haru's house?" she asked pulling a smile she hoped was did not look too forced.

"I knew you were full of shit when you said that you were ok, and from that lame excuse you gave last night, I bet you've been crying your eyes out since yesterday, and you probably didn't even get any sleep did you stupid woman, don't you know that that's bad for your health!?" Not that he had much room to talk as he had spent most of last night walking around fighting with his emotions and debating on whether or not to come here today.

Haru's face turned red, whether with embracement or anger she wasn't even really sure, but she knew that she was not going to let this, stupid boy make fun of her for crying over lost love! "So what if Haru lied, what else what she supposed to do? Make a big scene, yell at Tsuna-san? Hate Kyoko-chan? Step all over their happy feeling over getting together with her pain? All because Haru was blind and didn't see what was right in front of her from the start? Is that what Gokudera-san wanted Haru to do? Well she wanted to do all of that and more, she really did, she wanted to brake things, she wanted to scream at how unfair the world was being, but instead she smiled, and she congratulated, and she tried, she tried with all of her broken heart to be happy for her friends, even as they rubbed her face in their love. So yes Gokudera-san, Haru did cry all night, and she is not sorry because after last night, Haru thinks she deserved at least that much!"

Gokudera stood in front of Haru a little shocked as she finished her rant leaning back a little because she had leaned into him a bit as she got more into her speech. Haru, having suddenly processed what she had just yelled into the street in front of her house early in the morning turned an adorable shade of pink as she squeaked a little "Hahi" and covered her mouth looking around to see if any of the neighbors had caught her little speech. Gokudera smiled a little as she leaned back, but as she squeaked and looked around it became a full on grin before he let out a low chuckle, bringing Haru's attention back to him with a glare, making him grin all the more.

"You'll be fine" he said as he tilted his head grinning again at the girl in front of him, the one who was slowly but surely worming her way into his heart. As his hair caught the early morning sun and he grinned at her, Haru couldn't help but blush at how handsome he looked and how his words once again made her broken heart buzz with warmth.

"S-so… Haru answered Gokudera-san's questions but he hasn't answered hers…wh-what does Gokudera-san want!" she demanded glaring at him with her hands crossed in front of her as she tried to ignore both her blush and the grin he was wearing that had brought it on.

Gokudera for his part grinned wider as the thought how cute she looked when she was trying to stay mad, and that if things ever did go the way he wanted them too, he would have to make sure to make her mad more often so that she would look this cute all the time. "Oh nothing, I just wanted to make sure you where ok, and since you are, I guess I can go now. Oh and no, Judime didn't ask me to come, I came on my own." He said over his shoulder as he turned to go, successfully making Haru blush in confusion, making his own grin wider.

It seems the pinker she gets, the cuter she gets…I'll have to remember that… he thought as he continued to walk away.

Haru was trying to get control of her face when he suddenly called out to her again making her jump. "Oh I almost forgot!" he turned and tossed something to her making her "Hahi!" as she fumbled to catch it. "Have a safe trip, we'll talk when you're ready to listen to what I have to say" he said with a lopsided smile, making her efforts to stop her blush moot. But before she could ask what he meant by that, he was up and over her fence and off at a dead sprint down her street out of her sight.

"Hahi! Wait! Gokudera-san!" but it was far too late. She sighed as she looked down at the small box in her hand. It looked like a jewelry box, one for a ring. She blushed bright red as that thought struck her mind, shaking her head Gokudera-san wouldn't get Haru a ring, their only just out of high school! (Yeah I forgot to say, but this story happens right after they graduate from Namimori High, Haru having gone there with everyone, agents her parents' wishes, not that it matters but yeah.)

When she opened the box she didn't find a ring, which did make her a little disappointed, a thought that made her blush again, what she did fine was a necklace, with a charm that looked almost exactly like the ring Gokudera use to wear when they were in middle school (so the post ring wars arch in the anime) only behind the image of a swirling storm on the other side of the pendant was the image of a field of flowers in spring. This again made Haru blush, as she remembered how Yamamoto would call Gokudera the "storm" of the group… and her name means spring…

As she entered her house again, clutching the pendant to her chest, Haru thought that maybe there was a reason to be excited for the end of this trip she was taking, and by the time her family made it onto the plane, she really couldn't wait to hear just what Gokudera wanted to say to her.

"Braking news, today at 7PM. A plane heading for America this morning was reported missing earlier today, and has been found down in the middle of the ocean, no survivors have been found. Authorities are investigating but mechanical malfunctions are thought to be the cause for this horrible tragedy. In other news, the owners of…." The rest of what the news caster was saying was lost to the room as everyone sat in a stunned silence, broken only by the soft cries of a small Chinese girl and the young Japanese woman who tried her best to comfort her.

No one had wanted to believe it when the call came in from the Varia saying that Haru's plane had gone down. Squallo had called Yamamoto, and in an oddly quiet tone he had explained that it was the responsibility of the Varia to know where the bra-I mean the main family members were and went at all times, so they had been tracking Haru's plane when it went down in the middle of the pacific, and although their resources where vast, it would be hours until a team would be able to get to where it went down, and their there was no guarantee that they would find anyone, let alone anyone alive.

Tsuna had wanted to keep it a secret from the other until he had confirmed the information was real, but Reborn had insisted that in matters like these, not even the Varia would lie and so it was decided that only a select few would know until Haru and her family were confirmed dead. They had waited for hours for a call back, but when it came, the news was not good. The crash had been ugly, and there had been blood to call predators from all over to the scene, most of the bodies where no longer recognizable. Tsuna felt sick as he looked through the pictures trying to identify Haru and her parents. Form the story the pictures told, most had died before they hit the water, and it seemed as though Haru's mom and dad where both lucky enough to have died on impact, but unfortunately their bodies where ravaged by the sharks that where called by the smell of blood.

Tsuna was sweating as he continued to look through the files coming in from the sight of the crash, dreading the picture that would reveal to him the face of his crazy cosplay loving family member with her body ripped to shreds and her eyes staring lifelessly into the sky as so many other faces he was seeing where. Tsuna was suddenly extremely grateful towards Reborn for the insensitivity lessons he had forced on him a few months ago, because if not for those horrible few weeks of torture, the task at hand would be that much more trying. But as the picture kept pouring in, he had a dreadful feeling that they would not be able to find Haru among the wreckage, and as he shifted through the last of the photos his suspicion was confirmed.

Tsuna felt like sitting at his desk for the next few hours, to process what he had just seen, and to give the rest of his family a little more time of blissful ignorance. As of now, only he, Yamamoto, Gokudera and Reborn new of the crash, but as the Boss, a position he had finally taken up a few months ago, agents his better judgment, it was his responsibility to help the family through events like these. He was hoping he would never have to have this conversation with Kyoko or the kids, but there was no choice, it was better they found out from him than a news report. Tsuna ordered the Varia to bring back Haru's parents bodies, and to erase any and all evidence that they where ever on the plane, something that Squallo found amusing, but agreed to as Xanxus had already begun the process of corrupting the plane files.

Tsuna sighed as he put his head in his hands, he wasn't sure why but he knew that no one could find out that they were on that plane. Spuallo said that they would deal with an explanation for their sudden death, but that just made Tsuna feel sick to even think about. As Tsun griped his hair and stared at his desk the room stayed unusually silent considering the four occupants that resided in it in, all in their own little worlds, struggling to process what was happening.

Tsuna felt a small hand on his shoulder that made him jump a little in his seat as he looked up into his once teacher's eyes. "You need to call the family together… they will need each other when they hear the news." Reborn said as he looked out the window offering silent support to his student as he dealt with the death of a member his family.

This is what finally broke Tsuna, Reborn had never looked at him like that, and as he felt the small hand on his back tighten, and it finally all clicked in his head. Tsuna closed his eyes and faced away as an image of Haru flashed through his mind, causing silent tears to fall. Suddenly another hand was placed on his back, making him look up into clear brown eyes filled with a sad understanding. "I'll go get the kids and Chrome's group."

"I'll call Lady Kyoko and her brother" Gokudera suddenly said as he abruptly left the room leaving Tsuna a little confused. Yamamoto patted Tsuna's shoulder before he ran off after the bomber, sure that he needed support right now even as he was sure the other boy would fight and deny it. Tsuna took a deep breath and turned to his teacher for guidance.

"Right now all you have to do is be there for everyone." Reborn said as he hoped onto the window "I'll deal with the funeral prep, and invitations, I'll call Dino and Enma, Hibari will be over soon, make sure to leave him a space at the back of the room, you know how he hates crowds." He lowered to brim of his hat as he turned to face Tsuna again. "This is something I cannot help you with, as the Vongola Decimo you have to be prepared to have these types of conversations, and no matter how painful you have to be strong, for them…." As he looked into his students eyes again, Reborn felt a like he had let him down, he had hoped that he wouldn't have to go through this type of thing for many years, but he knew personally how cruel the Fates could be, so he sighed and turned to go before saying "But for now, just let yourself feel, I'll make sure no one bugs you until your ready…" With that he left his student to cry for the girl who gave him her heart even though he didn't want it… as Tsuna sat there thinking about Haru, he finally came to realize the pain he must have put her through with his happiness the night before.

Being the man he was, Tsuna tortured himself with thoughts of what she must have been feeling the night before, and how stupid he had been not to have seen it. Her sudden disappearance finally made sense, and he felt like the biggest ass in the world to have rubbed Kyoko's and his relationship in her face like that, not even thinking about how she would feel. Superior intuition my ass, I couldn't even tell when one girl was suffering... suffering because of me…

By the time everyone was down in his living room, Tsuna had composed himself and was as ready to explain what happened as he ever was going to be. As he explained what happened to both his family and friends, he kept his face neutral, doing his best not to look at Kyoko, or hear Lambo's question as to why Haru would not be coming back. By the end of it all, Tsuna was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed and pray that this was all a bad dream, but as his mother passed out tea and he looked around at the group in front of him, some in tears, others with far off looks in their eyes, he realized that he had to be strong, regardless of how much he didn't want to, because he was the Boss, and as such they would only be as strong as he was.

Looking around again, Tsuna again realized how much Haru had affected their lives, as he looked towards Chrome crying into Mukuro's shoulder, Hibari behind them seemed a little more pensive than usual, and his hands seemed to be clenched even as he crossed his arms in front to him. Dino and his family where doing their best to try and calm Lambo down as Bianchi hugged both Kyoko and I-pin as tears ran down her own face. As Tsuna's eyes swept the room again, he noticed that two of his Guardians where missing, and catching Bianchi's eye from across the room he silently asked for their location. Bianchi nodded towards the door that lead outside, and as he walked closer to the door he could hear voices.

"… I won't believe it until I see her! I can't Yamamoto, I just can't"

"But you saw the picture Hayato, there is no way she-"

"Don't say it! Just don't! Listen I know, ok, I do but something is telling me that she isn't gone, and until I find her I won't stop looking, I already called that stupid freak prince, I'll owe him a favor but I don't care, I'm gone in the morning."

"And you planed on telling me when Gokudera?" Tsuna asked as he came into view of his Rain and Storm Guardians standing by his front gate. Gokudera tensed as his Boss came into view, he no longer had an internal batter going on inside his head, but the emotion that had won where his boss was concerned was not guilt, but anger. Tsuna took an involuntary step back as he looked into the eyes that where usually filled with admiration and adoration only to find pure contempt. "Gokudera?"

"I apologies Decimo, but I will be taking a few days of personal leave, I submitted the proper papers to Lady Kyoko and Reborn-san, now if you'll excuse me." He said with a stiff bow that left Tsuna feeling cold. But before he could leave they all heard a small voice behind them.

"You knew." Kyoko said as she stepped up to stand beside Tsuna, her eyes dry even as her cheeks held the evidence of her earlier tears. "Of course you knew, no one who knew her didn't know how she felt about Tsu-kun, but you knew last night, when I was so blind, when we were so blind…" Kyoko stared at Gokudera's turned back as it shook with his emotions "You knew how cruel we were being, not just to her, but to you, who had to watch her suffer… I'm so sorry…" Tsuna put an arm around Kyoko as she finally broke down again, looking towards his right hand man's hands as they clenched in anger.

"We're both so sorry Gokudera-kun" Kyoko sobbed.

"Yes, I did know" he finally said, without facing them, his voice quietly rising as he went on "I knew how selfish you were being, how much you're love hurt her, and how she still did her best to be there and be happy even as you shoved your happiness in her face. I saw how neither of you saw nor even cared when she left her own fucking party in tears. But that's not why I'm mad, I can't be mad at you for that, because she wasn't mad at you for that, she couldn't be mad at you for being happy, that's all she ever wanted for the both of you… No I'm mad because both of you gave up on her. She's stronger than either of you think, I've seen it, I've watched her walk away from everything we've put her through with a smile on her face, wail you had Tsuna, Kyoko, she had no one, but she still smiled. So why the hell would you think that this would kill that stupid woman! She's too strong to let a stupid plane crash do her in! The fact that we can't find her body is a testament to that! I refuse to give up on her, even if all of you have"

As Tsuna pulled Kyoko into his arms he watched his storm Guardian walk away from him and his family, and although he knew it was only temporary, he knew that he had a lot to learn if the man who was once the most loyal to him was able to walk away from him so easily after yelling at him like he did. Tsuna sighed as he looked down at the girl in his arms. It's not like I don't deserved it, but did he have to get Kyoko involved? He looked up at Yamamoto "Fallow him, make sure he doesn't do anything rash, and bring him back before the funeral, I want you all there, even if he doesn't think she's dead, we know her parents are, so he needs to be there for them at least."

Yamamoto nodded as he looked into his Bosses pained eyes "You know he's right…but you can't let it get to you too much, he hates himself just as much for not telling her sooner how he felt. He feels just as responsible for her pain, if not more so because he could have stopped it before it happened… if he had just been man enough to say something to her." Yamamoto sighed as he started after his suborn best friend "You know him, he'll be over it in no time, you know he can't hate you Tsuna, and don't cry too much Kyoko-chan, you know how much that worries the boss." He said with a last small smile and a wave as he ran off to catch the bomber boy.

As he lead his crying girlfriend back into the house and asked his mom to make her a calming tea, he hoped with all his heart that Gokudera was right…

He came back for the funeral, as ordered. He stood there and said goodbye to her parents, and promised them he would find her no matter what. The boss and Lady Kyoko didn't talk about what had happened, and he didn't either. Things went back to normal after a while, or as normal as possible with her gone, and with working two jobs to afford the stupid princess and that damn babies help to find her even as he tried to keep his behavior normal. Weeks turned into months, and each failed attempt, each false lead tore another piece of his heart away. As months slowly turned into years, even the prince and his young companion tried to talk him out of looking. But he didn't stop. Her birthday was always the worst, after the first one when he drank for the first time, drank until he didn't feel the pain anymore, it took Bianchi finally dragging him out of his apartment after a week for him to finally start to act normally again. Each year though, it was the same, one of them had to come find him, spend the day with him, and try to keep away from the relief they knew he wanted.

But as much as he wanted the pain to end, he knew that she would be sad if he let himself go like that. For as much as Yamamoto's encouragements, Bianchi's begging and finally Tsuna's orders would rise him out of his pain, her memory was always the thing that pushed him that last bit out of the darkness… because she was waiting for him, and no matter what he would find her…