Chandler's POV

First things first, I'm not stupid. I didn't run away with no money and nowhere to go. Well, I didn't have anywhere to go, but I had a vague idea. I wanted to go to California. My reasons aren't that great. California is supposed to be a beautiful state. Besides, it was far from Texas, and that was my main priority.

Needless to say, I took money. My escape was perfectly planned. The day before I ran away, I broke into my dad's safe and cleaned it out. He is a lawyer, and he doesn't believe in banks. Ideally, I would have flown, but I'm too young to buy a plane ticket. So instead, I took a train. It was actually a really fun experience. I had one bag of clothes with me.

I got off the train in downtown LA. I hadn't planned for this; once I got to LA, I had figured that what would happen would happen, and it was going to be good.

I walked in a random direction, and an hour later, I found myself at a public park. I sat down beneath a giant oak tree and closed my eyes. The sun was shining, but a slight breeze kept me cool. I could not have been more comfortable.

The sound of someone crying woke me up. I looked over to see a small child on the ground. Her mother was cleaning the scrape on her knee, singing softly to her daughter as she worked. It was honestly beautiful, and it made me think of my mother. Not too long ago, this could have been me. Suddenly, a realization hit me. I was alone.

I began to silently cry. What kind of a world was so cruel as to chew up an innocent child and spit them out abused, raped, broken, and alone?

I took a steak knife out of my bag. It may sound bad, but when I cut myself, I stop thinking about my other problems. I truly believed that it helped me. I took the knife to my arm and pressed down. Then, I slowly began to slide the cold steel through my skin. I did this twelve times on the same spot, creating one deep cut. When I returned the knife my bag, my hand was shaking.

I spent the rest of the day at the park. I bought a hot dog from a vendor for my dinner. After I had eaten, I curled up into a ball under what I was beginning to think of as my tree and went to sleep.

As I hope you know, whenever one sleeps outdoors, one wakes up early. So I found myself heading to Starbucks before the sun had risen. And since it was summertime, the sun rose early. I walked into Starbucks and put a twenty on the counter, asking for an iced coffee with caramel and whipped cream. The cashier gave my arm a funny look, and I followed her eyes to see dried blood. I had forgotten about.

When I returned to the park I was feeling sad. I missed Shawn. I took out a piece of paper and began to write. This is the final product.

"I love you more than you'll ever know.
I'll follow you wherever you go.
The love I feel when I look into your eyes
Is far too strong for me to deny.
I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do.
For all eternity, I will love you.
But I know you will never be mine,
Although, to be honest, that's perfectly fine
Because I could never make you as happy as you deserve to be,
So I leave you alone, despite the pain that causes me.
And I pray for your soul. I pray for you to be strong.
And I pray to stop loving you because it feels so wrong."

I sighed. I really missed him, even though he treated me even worse than I deserve, which is an accomplishment because I don't deserve a lot. I put the paper in my bag with tears starting to form in my eyes. I closed my eyes, sipped my coffee, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

My contentedness was shattered by the sound of a basketball bouncing. Why was someone here so early? I looked over to the basketball court where two ancient men were balling. Weird. I finished my coffee and threw away the cup.

From where I was sitting, I could see the basketball court, but anyone on the court could not see me unless they came down the hill. As I watched, two boys about my age (maybe a little older) walked over to the court. The first one was skipping and had a basketball under his arm and a sports duffel over his shoulder. He was kind of cute, but was also a little thin.

The second boy made my jaw drop. He was stumbling along as if half asleep, and he looked like he really didn't want to be here. He had a lot of freckles and chocolate eyes that made my chest hurt. He and his friend made their way over to the two old men.

"WHAT IS UP, MY HOMIES?" The first kid screamed at the top of his lungs. He did super complicated handshake with the two older men.

The four guys started playing two on two. The two old men tried really hard, but they failed miserably. It was really funny and adorable at the same time.

Eventually the two older men hobbled off. The boys my age made their way to the bench where the first one got out… fried chicken? A few minutes later, the freckled boy came down the hill to throw away the box. My eyes were glued to him. He was even more attractive up close.
He suddenly turned and saw me watching him. There was eye contact. I swear my heart stopped.

As if making a decision, he turned and walked away. He and his friend packed up their equipment and headed off. I sighed. If I only deserved to at least talk to him.

Just so you know, I wrote that poem about my crush. So yeah. Since I have no social life I can update often.