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When you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide

Carla made her way to the kitchen on her hands and knees, still crying and obviously in no state to be alone. She wondered whether her phone would be ringing if it was switched on. She wondered whether Peter was thinking about her or if he, like most others would, had put it out of his mind to sort another day.

Carla reached up and grabbed the open bottle of wine, holding it in her hands as she sank back down to the floor. She didn't think she'd felt like this in such a long time. Not since Peter and the baby and her life was almost fixing itself again. Almost, but not quite apparently. She breathed in the smell of the thing she was so used to turning to for comfort and oh she longed to drink it all. To drown herself in a misery and forget everything for a while. Drink was not the answer but at least if she drunk enough she could forget the question. Just forget it all.

Carla groaned as she pulled herself up and stood by the sink, her tears still not yet having subsided. She wouldn't put the bottle down, couldn't. She needed it, longed for it but god, she longed for her baby more. "God!" Carla threw the bottle into the sink and watched as it smashed and the red liquid seeped away. She looked down at her stomach and placed her hands on her bump, "God why do I love you so much already. Fuck." Carla pushed her hair from her face and forcefully wiped her eyes.

She felt out of control. Her whole life centered around something she had no control over and she was finding it so very hard. Taking a deep breath she realised she had to do whatever she could to keep this baby safe and that meant holding it together. Holding herself together no matter how much she longed to fall apart. She was good at that. Good at falling apart, she'd had enough practice. She didn't feel quite as skilled at holding it together but she figured now was a good enough time to start trying.

It was hard though, especially being on her own. She could have gone to Peter but he was miles away and probably pissed at her for the way she was acting. He was probably sick of her by now anyway. Damaged goods. Carla bet this was what pushed him to another woman the first time. She would talk to Rob but their relationship was far from solid and he'd probably make her feel worse before he would even think about making her better. Then there was Michelle, but of course that wasnt an option. Her best mate and probably someone who'd hurt her more than almost anyone. The entire reason she felt how she did.

That left one person. If Carla hadn't pulled her coat on and headed to the long closed cafe and the sanctuary of her friends house, if she had stayed ten more minutes, she would have been around when Peter arrived home to look after her.

The next morning, Peter was sat on the sofa with his head in his hands, worried out of his mind. Carla hadn't taken her phone, Michelle wouldn't answer his calls and all that remained was a smashed photo frame and fragments of a broken bottle of wine. Had she drunk it? Were she and the baby in trouble? He hadnt slept all night and he was meant to be getting ready for his and Carla's best friends wedding. Instead he was refusing to move out of fear and worry.

A long while later as Peter stood buttoning his shirt, he heard keys in the door and turned to see Carla letting herself in, looking exactly how he felt.

"Jesus Carla I've been worried sick! Where the hell have ya been?!"

Carla was surprised to see him, frowning in confusion. She could see he'd cleaned up and she was thankful not to have to think about the mess she had been the previous night. "Shouldn't you be with Steve?"

Peter stepped closer to her. He wanted to be angry, he should be. But when his eyes looked at hers and saw the state she was in, he just couldn't bring himself to be. "What's happened with you love?" His voice was so soft, so caring, it made her skin goosebump, "I- I didn't drink it you know.." She knew he would know what she meant and he nodded in relief as he cupped her cheek. "Come on, come here." Peter's hand on the back of her neck pulled her against him and she didn't even try to resist his comfort anymore. He longed for her to open up and tell him what was bothering her but he knew better than to push. So he just held her close as Carla cried away her hurt and buried her face away from the world in Peter's chest.

Eventually, Carla pulled away, wiping her eyes with the back if her hand, "sorry for worrying ya.. I didn't know you were coming back." She offered him an exhausted smile and he simply shook his head, Peter knew she'd explain when she felt able. Carla wasn't good with words, she never had been and he knew her well enough to understand that it just took her time to find the right ones.

"I'm not going by the way." She mumbled as she threw her coat over the sofa and kicked her trainers off. She was still in the dress from the night before but it didn't have the same feeling anymore. It felt tainted and so did she. Part of her wished she hadn't found out Michelle's dirty little secret because everything was finally settling. Now she knew there'd be hell to pay. Carla felt like she was going to make sure of that.

Peter sighed but nodded, already assuming it was Michelle related. Most of their problems were at the moment. "You know I 'ave to, don't ya?" Carla just pursed her lip with a nod. She probably should tell him, she probably should tell Steve and Rob but she wasn't going to. She wasn't in any fit state to cause such a war in that moment but she knew when she felt up to it, all hell would break loose. Michelle wouldn't get away with it. She was goin to hurt like Carla did.

"Tell Steve I said good luck. Poor blokes gonna need it."

Peter had left Carla sleeping, almost in a settled state, on the sofa when he left for the wedding. He'd run her a bath and made her eat before he went and she looked as though she was feeling slightly more human again. She'd even managed a small smile, which made Peter's heart swell every time.

He wasn't expecting to see her until that evening, he'd planned on making an early exit from the reception to take her to bed and look after her properly. This was the last place he wanted to be, away from her, surrounded by drink and the centre of attention fully on someone he felt an unease to be around now. Considering it was her wedding, the bride had never looked so unhappy.

Carla's arrival to the pub made heads turn, especially Peter's but none more than Michelle's. Everyone had discussed why she might not be there, at her best friends wedding and the intrigue was driving them crazy. The look on her face face told Peter they were all about to find out, including him and her words in the almost silent pub conformed that.

"There she is, the woman of the day. Hello Michelle, miss me?"