"- and I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Jill, really I am. I wanted to. But...but, I know what it was like for you and I know how everyone treated you and I…I just didn't want you to talk me out of it before I'd had a chance to try it for myself."
Kris let out a shaky breath and swiped at her wet eyelashes with the bend of her wrist. This was harder than she'd imagined it would be.
"It's not an excuse, I know." She continued in a quavering voice. "And I've been putting away money every paycheck to pay you back. I'll pay it all back, I swear I will, every penny. And... and I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I love you and if I had it to do over again I would have been honest with you."
With her confession expelled, Kris rubbed at her already red eyes and miserably laid her head down in her hands. Now out of words, she closed her eyes against the silence that followed.
"If I was on the Academy, you'd have my vote."
Kris sniffled and raised her head to send an irritated sideways look at Kelly, who was propped up on one elbow, watching her in amusement.
"Oh, shut up." Kris replied softly. She gave her sleeping sister's hand an affectionate pat before wiping her eyes again and sitting up in her chair.
Kelly grinned at her almost admirably. There'd been, and still was, much more pressing matters on hand for her to have properly processed the newsflash upon learning that Jill's college girl kid sister was a police officer. But now, given some time, she found herself unable to be angry with her. Instead, she found herself marveling at Kris's actions and, most of all, at her duplicity. She'd seen Kris on several occasions over the last year, talked with her about school and college life many times without having been any the wiser about what was really going on with her. It was probably the boldest, most uncharacteristic thing Kris had ever done and, dishonest or not, she deserved credit for taking control of her life. She wouldn't have thought the younger Munroe had it in her and after processing what she had done, Kelly now saw her in a different light.
Still though, as her best friend's little sister, a bit of good natured ribbing was completely in order. Maybe it would even cheer her up from whatever the hell had happened since she'd stepped out that had left her mood downcast and her eyes red and swollen "She'll probably be out a few more hours. Do you want to write it down and I'll see that she gets the message?"
Kris rolled her eyes, hoping her embarrassment wasn't showing on her face. "Shut up, it's therapeutic. Besides, you're one to talk."
That comment wiped the smile right off of Kelly's face. She flopped back down into her pillow and groaned softly to herself as she began to suspect from her younger friend's tone that they were about to rehash, for the second time, the spat they'd had earlier. And if Kris had been that upset upon figuring out that Kelly hadn't told Bill anything, then she wasn't in any kind of rush to see Sabrina after she found out about it. "Well, that's the truth." she grumbled, hoping to placate her friend.
"Yeah, some of it." Kris shot back. Her voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper and Kelly groaned again as she realized her suspicions had been confirmed. "More than you're telling. You know something was up at that hospital and whatever it was almost killed my sister! I can't believe you didn't tell Bill about that fat nur-"
"I already said. I'm not doing this with you." Kelly warned, turning away.
"Well, you need to with someone!" Kris's voice went almost to a shout before she checked herself. "Kelly, what did you see that you can't tell us?!"
Kelly whirled back around to face her. "Stay out of it, Kris!" she snapped.
"Why?" Kris shot back, just as angry. "I was there too! I saw that f-"
"You don't even know what you saw."
Kris fought back a scream of frustration. "I saw enough!" she retorted. She swore under her breath and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "These psychos are gonna get away with this because you don't think it's important enough to open your mouth and tell even your friends just what the hell it was you saw in there! God, I should have just told Bill when I had the chance!"
Kelly suddenly sat up, snatched something off of the nightstand between her and Jill's bed and flung it toward her younger friend. "If you want to tell Bill what you saw, then be my guest!" she bluffed angrily. "There's his card! Go ahead and call him and tell him you fired a shot at someone! Go ahead and tell him Sabrina lied about you not being there! He already doesn't trust me! I'm sure false testimony will be a huge help to Jill during his investigation. And if we both end up in jail over this, then you be sure you aren't wearing your cop uniform whenever you visit your sister, if you still have it after lying to your boyfriend and stealing his car, because we still don't know how Jill is gonna take that news, do we? So, don't you sit there and preach at me about keeping secrets!"
The bluff worked.
Kris glared at Kelly for a moment, worked up to the point of almost taking a swing at her friend, before grudgingly realizing that Kelly had a point. At a loss for a proper retort, she glared in silence before reluctantly backing down and fixing her eyes moodily to her sister's bed. She might be beat for now, but that didn't mean she still couldn't be upset.
"Alright, we both know something isn't right with that place, we both know those people were trying to kill us and neither of us is going to say anything about it?" she asked, her tone still stubbornly combative.
"Not until we're sure we can prove what happened." Kelly answered her calmly. Her sanity couldn't possibly handle having to fight with any more people than she already was. She gave a weary sigh and flopped back down into her pillow. "You think I want them to get away and keep doing this to people? Once we figure it out, then yes, Kris, yes, I'll tell them what happened. But, not until I'm sure that nothing will happen to Jill. Please, just trust me on this."
That was as close to a truce as she was going to get, Kris noted to herself. But unwilling to let go of her anger just yet, she rolled her eyes. "Fine. We won't say anything. We can lie to the police together. That way we'll never get any answers. Me and you, what a great team we make." she said sarcastically.
Kelly let out a slow breath, looking suddenly very bothered about something. "Well, what can I say?" she said quietly. "Misery loves company."
Something about the look on her friend's face made Kris remember what state Kelly had been in after escaping the hospital. Kelly had seen something and whatever it was had disturbed her into a terrifying paranoia. Not enough to leave Jill behind, though. No, aggravating or not, Kelly had risked her life to save Jill's in that place and, however strange her reasons, she seemed to think she was still protecting her now. Kris sighed to herself, feeling a bit guilty. Suddenly, her anger seemed unnecessary. She would have softened the blow, but the door opened before her mouth had the chance to, and both women turned to see Max hesitantly slip inside.
"Hey." He greeted them in an unsure voice. He'd noticed Kris's red rimmed eyes and the miserable look on Kelly's face and wasn't sure if he should acknowledge it or not. Quickly deciding he didn't want a part in whatever was gloomy discussion was going on, he forced a wide grin on his face.
"See?" Kelly muttered, shooting Kris a knowing look.
Kris shook her head disapprovingly. "Hi, Max." she greeted back, narrowed eyes still on Kelly.
Max's face fell. "See what?"
"Nothing." Kelly said quickly. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"
Max squirmed and let the door shut quietly behind him. Was he imagining it or did his presence seem to irritate her? Maybe she was just surprised that he was still here. Deciding to ignore his insecurity, he forced the strained smile back onto his face and seated himself next to Kris beside Jill's bed.
"I didn't get much sleep last night." He joked in a voice that was more confident than he felt. "Called in and took the day off. I think they'll be alright without me for a day." He cleared his throat. "How are you feeling?"
Kelly looked pained for a moment before pushing herself to a sitting position in her bed. "Fine. Ready to go home."
"And… and the baby?"
"The baby's fine." She answered quickly.
Max nodded. "Good. That's good. You uh-…you get a chance to talk things over with that doct-"
"You know I'm a little tired." Kelly interrupted, before he could finish. "If you don't mind, Max, I think I'll close my eyes for a little while."
The hint wasn't at all subtle and Max sank in his chair. "Yeah. Yeah, sure, Kelly."
"I don't mind either, Kelly." Kris piped up. The tension between Max and Kelly was thick and if she didn't either lighten the mood or get the hell out of here she'd surely suffocate. She ignored Kelly's dirty look and fixed her gaze on Max. "And by the way, my leg is okay too." She smiled sweetly at him, sitting beside her. "Thanks for asking."
The young man blushed. "O-oh." He stammered. "I'm sorry, that's… that's good to hear."
"Aw, aren't you sweet." Kris teased.
Maxwell coughed into a closed fist and, since he couldn't come up with a suitable response to that, remained quiet. Kris had nothing more to add either and so the three conscious occupants of the room sat in painfully heavy silence for a few moments longer, each wondering just what possibly could make this scene play out any more awkwardly than it already was.
The sound of the doorknob blessedly cranking open was like a brief moment of heaven. The rooms' hopes immediately soared, hoping whoever it was would dispel this awkwardness.
"Thank you, Jesus." Maxwell muttered under his breath, nearly collapsing with relief. He could kiss whoever was coming in. He twisted in his chair to see who it was and then immediately took it back as Dr. Alan Samuelson, still a bit pale looking, stepped into the room.
The young doctor gave a tight smile and tugged nervously on the lapels of his white coat. "Hi, uh, everyone."
Both Kelly and Maxwell had averted their eyes, leaving Kris as their spokesperson. "Hi, Dr... Alan."
Alan rubbed the back of his head. "Hi." He repeated himself, looking around the hospital room. "And… Sabrina? She's not here?"
Kris leaned forward in her chair, making a show of looking around the little room. "No, I guess not."
"Oh." Was all Alan could reply with.
He was teeming with nervous energy and it was so obvious he wanted to bring up the earlier newsflash that, to dispel the tension, Kelly decided it would be less painful to point out the pink elephant in the room than it would be to sit and listen to his awkward stammering a second longer.
"She's talking to Bill." Kelly sighed. "Any news?"
Alan choked on a laugh and Kelly immediately regretted her choice of words.
"No, I've had enough news for today. Thank God for that." Alan said quickly. "Not that I …what I mean is-" He cleared his throat, let out a long breath and then seemed to recover. "What I want to say to all of you is that I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. I was caught off guard and I don't think I quite made the impression that I'd imagined I would in this situation."
"Oh, God." Kelly muttered to herself.
"So," Alan said slowly. "My apologies, all of you."
Kris looked awkwardly between her two companions and realized that yet again, she was the group's spokesperson. "Oh, um, don't mention it. We all understand... considering."
"Considering." Alan echoed nervously.
The room fell quiet again and because she knew him better than Kris and Maxwell did, Kelly knew he wasn't done. Just seconds ago she'd been hoping Kris and Max would get tired and go home or leave for something to eat or for a shower or just to go do anything, anywhere that wasn't in her presence. There was a lot of thinking she had to do and in order to do that she had to be alone.
Now, however, she was begging Kris to somehow read her mind and not leave.
"Listen, Kris," Alan started, folding his hands in front of him. "Matt-"
"Max."
"Max. Would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Kelly. I think we need to talk about some things."
Kelly sat up in bed and her channeling efforts toward Kris doubled. "Alan, maybe we nee-"
Unluckily for her, Kris's mind reading powers needed practice. Eager to escape the scene unfolding in front of them, her face brightened and she immediately started scrambling out of her chair.
"No, problem." She chirped, using Maxwell to push herself up. One hand tugged at his sleeve and, eyes fixed jealously on Alan, he followed suit and reluctantly followed her to the door. "We'll just go get some coffee outside."
Kelly fought the urge to panic. "Coffee?" she called helplessly. "You already had some-"
"We'll get more." Kris cut her off, grinning her relief at escaping. "Have fun…..talking."
She hurried outside, leading a very reluctant Max by the arm. He turned and, realizing Kelly had his attention, sent her a sad smile and a mouthed "Good luck", before waving and slipping out the door.
Alan stood facing the closed door for a moment, his hands clasped nervously in front of him, before finally turning to Kelly with a strained smile.
"How are you feeling, Kelly?
Kelly snapped her eyes from the door to her ex-boyfriend, wishing Kris and Max would suddenly return. "Fine... considering."
He grimaced, and without being invited, Alan walked over and eased himself down at the foot of her bed. He laid his hand over hers and Kelly felt her stomach drop.
"Look, I was a real jerk earlier." He started gently. "And I'm sorry. It just… well, hearing from Sabrina this morning, then seeing you... especially the way you were, and then all this secrecy from Sabrina and then… this. It was a lot to handle."
Kelly sighed. "No one's blaming you."
"No, I know." Alan said quickly. He sighed and then fixed her with an odd look. "Look, before anything else, I need to know if you and Jill are in some kind of trouble."
Kelly tightened her jaw and awkwardly slipped her hand out from under his. "No, not anymore."
"Are you sure?" Alan pressed. "I see cops outside your room, Sabrina won't tell me anything-"
"Everything's fine." Kelly interrupted.
"Are you and Jill in danger, Kelly? I need to know." His voice took on a serious tone. "As someone who cares about you and for the safety of the other patients we're in charge of here, I need to know what we're dealing with."
Kelly looked away. "We're not dealing with anything, Alan. Me and Jill had a run in with some… someone. As part of our job. We got away. They don't know where we are. Bill is handing it. No one's in danger."
Alan stared at her doubtfully for a moment. Kelly had once told him that their six month long relationship was the longest she'd ever had. And even then, he knew it would take longer than six months for Kelly to fully trust anybody. She didn't trust him, she never had and that fact was what had pained him most during their relationship. Kelly had never been forthcoming about anything, not her past, not her feelings about him, not her future plans, and most definitely not about this. For that reason, he was suddenly glad he'd immediately informed hospital security as soon as the girls arrived, despite Sabrina's request that he keep quiet about it. But, that was best left unmentioned, especially now. Maybe he could have a word with Sabrina when she showed up.
"I hope not." Alan replied after a moment. "I wish you'd tell me what was going on. No matter what it is, I want to help you. And the ba-"
"There's nothing to help with." Kelly answered. "It's taken care of."
Alan locked eyes with her, wishing she'd reveal more. As usual, it didn't happen.
"If you say so." He said finally. He wanted to know more, but angering Kelly just before the conversation he wanted to have with her wasn't going to help. Pushing aside his doubt and worry, he smiled and decided to press on. "Anyway, now that you and Jill are safe-" he started, lingering on the word "safe" in a way that made Kelly want to roll her eyes. "- there's something else I wanted to talk to you about."
Kelly groaned. "Alan, listen, I'm sorry-"
"No, me first." Alan cut her off. "Please. Please, Kelly, I need to say this before we say anything else."
"Alan-"
He scooted closer and then slid himself off of the bed and to one knee in front of her. "You kept this baby from me, and I'm not sure why. I'm sure you had your reasons, I don't want to know, but whatever they were, it's behind us now. And no matter how big of an asshole I was when I found out earlier, please believe me when I say that having a baby with you is something I've wanted since we started dating. Having a life with you is something I've wanted for a long time now and even if this isn't the way I was hoping it would work out, I want you to know that I want to be in this child's life. And in yours, Kelly, if you'll let me."
Kelly sat up, starting to panic. "No, Alan, you need to listen-"
"No, please let me finish." Alan pleaded, taking her hand again. "Kelly, what I asked you before, I want you to know that I meant it then and I mean it now. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. And since circumstances are different now, I'm hoping you'll reconsider."
"Alan, it's not-"
"Marry me, Kelly." Alan urged, squeezing her hand. "I'm asking you again. We were happy before, weren't we? Whatever reason you decided to leave me, that thing that you have… the thing that keeps you from being happy, maybe this our second chance, maybe this time we can work through it. We have a child now, Kelly, a baby, and we can be a family. I'll make a good husband, Kelly, you know I will, you know I love you."
Kelly stared at him in stunned silence before finally finding her voice. "Alan, no." she stammered, shaking her hand loose from his. "No, you don't want to marry me. Stop."
"But, I do, Kelly." Alan continued. "And not just because you're pregnant, you know that. Kelly, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
At a loss for words, Kelly shook her head, pressing hard at her temples in frustration. "No, no, no. Don't say that. That's not true, Alan. You don't even know me. I'm not who you think I am."
Alan laughed. "I know all I need to know."
Kelly waved him off. "No, Alan. I'm… I'm not a good person. Listen to me, the baby-"
"Why are you saying that?" Alan said, almost irritated. "Do you think I can't tell who is right and wrong for me? I can, Kelly, and if you'll say yes, I know we can be happy together. Me, you, the baby, we can be a family."
"Alan, I can't make you happy." Kelly groaned. "Would you stop making plans for me and just listen?"
Alan's face suddenly blanched. "I… you are planning on having the baby, aren't you? Kelly, it's my child too, you can't-"
Kelly scoffed. "Of course, I'm having the baby!" she snapped.
The young doctor seemed to relax somewhat. "Then what is it?" he asked, taking her hand again. "Whatever it is that's holding you back, let's talk about it. It can be fixed."
His statement couldn't have been more wrong, Kelly thought grimly to herself. She sighed and took a deep breath. "Alan, I lied to you." She said softly. "I lied to everyone-"
"I know and I can look past it." Alan piped up, taking over the conversation once more. "You had your reasons, whatever they were."
Kelly sighed her frustration. "Listen to me, Alan. I can't marry you."
Alan's face fell. "Why not?"
"Because, I can't. Because you deserve better."
"Kelly-"
"No, Alan." Kelly repeated firmly, her voice sounding much braver than she felt. "I can't marry you."
Alan was silent for several moments, before rising slowly to his feet "And the baby?" he said quietly, He took a step back and shoved his hands into his coat pocket, suddenly distant. His features were emotionless but the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. "What does the baby deserve? To grow up without a father?"
Kelly had to look away. "No. Listen-"
"I still want to be involved." Alan said in a dull monotone. "I knew better. If it wasn't for me, if I'd been more careful, this wouldn't have happened. It's my responsibility too."
"No, it isn't." Kelly whispered. "It's not your-"
"It is my responsibility." Alan spoke over her. "Whatever you need, Kelly. I want to help. Please, let me help."
Kelly dropped her head into her hands. "You're not understanding me, Alan. The baby. It-"
The door suddenly swung open, pausing the tense scene playing out in the small hospital room. A nurse poked her head into the room and if she noticed the somber look on both Kelly and Alan's face, she didn't care.
"Dr. Samuelson, we need you on four. It's urgent."
Alan groaned softly. "There's no one else?"
"No, Dr. Samuelson, we need you."
Alan let out a resigned breath and then nodded, lifting sad, empty eyes to face Kelly once more. "I have to go. What were you saying? What don't I understand?" he asked quietly, straightening his coat.
With Alan's eyes and now the nurse's, an extra uninvited guest to the conversation, fixed on her, Kelly suddenly lost her nerve. Not here, not in front of a co-worker. Even she couldn't do that to him.
"I… go." Kelly muttered. "We can finish later."
Alan turned to follow the nurse out of the room. "Right." He said,his eyes still locked onto hers. "Goodbye, Kelly."
"Bye," she said meekly, watching his eyes fall to the floor and then exiting the room without speaking another word. Kelly laid a hand on her stomach, the intensity of the conversation she just held breaking down her already shot nerves. Her biggest fear had nearly come to light but she'd managed to thwart it at the expense of breaking a good man's heart in the process.
They had said their goodbyes before. But this time it felt a bit different.
This time it felt final.