Chapter Seventeen
His apartment was so spacious. And it was so beautifully decorated. Why does he have so much stuff in here if it's just going to be him living here?
"It's really nice in here." I said.
"Thanks." He said.
"So what is it that you have to show me?" I asked wishing that we weren't alone in this place though.
"Why don't you sit down for awhile?" He said motioning over to the red and black couch in his living room. This place looks so expensive. When did he have the time to do any of this? I sat down on the couch like he said he sat down next to me. For awhile neither of us said anything. The silence was good but it was also awkward. It made me extremely nervous. What could he possibly have to say that's making him like this? I guess he could sense my uncertainty because I could feel him tampering with my mood trying to calm me.
"Stop that." I growled annoyed.
"Stop what?" He asked quizzically
"Stop tampering with my feelings, I hate it when you do that. " I said rolling my eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I just want you to relax Bella." He said placing a hand on my knee. I moved his hand quickly.
"How can I be calmed? I'm always nervous around you when we're alone."
"And why is that?" I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Why ask a question when you already know the answer to it." I said softly.
"I guess you're right. But still, I don't like that you feel unsettled around me." He said, I could feel his eyes staring at me but all I could do was look down, I couldn't do anything else.
"Bella please I want you to open up to me. Let me into your thoughts." He begged. He almost sounded like Edward when he wanted so badly to be inside of my mind when he knew something was bothering me.
"You said you had something to show me. What is it Jasper?" I asked trying to avoid my true feelings inside. He sighed and got up. He went towards a desk he had where a computer was sitting at. He opened the drawer and pulled out an envelope he then walked back towards the couch sitting back down. He placed the envelope on the coffee table in front of us.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Inside that envelope there are two tickets to Brazil." He said gently. Is he trying to get me to run away with him? Have he lost his mind?
"What does this mean?" I asked.
"He's gone there." He said looking at me.
"Edward? Why would he go there?" I asked.
"He's gone to Isle Esme." He stated. He's at Isle Esme; the place where we went for our honeymoon; the place where I finally shared my body with Edward for the first time; and the place where Renesme was conceived. That place held so many amazing memories for us both. But why would he go there?
"How do you know that's where he is?" I asked.
"That's not important. Just know that is where he is. Those tickets are for you and Renesme. If you're truly unhappy and you want to follow him to work things out then go. But if you feel anything for me, anything at all I want you to stay and sort out your feelings until he return on his own." I looked up at him. Is he really giving me an ultimatum right now?
"What are you trying to do right now Jasper?" I asked trying to stay calm.
"I'm trying to make things right." He replied.
"And you thought this was how you were going to do it?" I said pointing at the envelope.
"I'm giving you a chance to fix things to the way you want it to be. If you want to work out things with Edward then you need to leave now and take Renesme with you. Stay there in Brazil for awhile until both you and Edward have sorted things out and are over the mess that we both have caused here. But if you have any feelings for me, any at all then stay here and let me be here for you. Let me hold you and protect you." He said seriously.
"I told you that I won't leave my husband for you." I said.
"Then leave. Go to him now." He replied.
"I can't do that." I said looking down.
"Why not Bella, if you're not going to leave Edward for me then why can't you go to him?" He asked.
"We need this break from each other it's going to be good for us." I said.
"That's lie you're telling yourself. You're never going to resolve anything if you aren't honest with yourself." He said getting irritated with me.
"I don't need this from you, I'm leaving." I said jumping up.
"Bella don't do this! Running away from your problems is not going to do you any good! You've got to stop running and deal with this now!"
"Take me back home." I said looking away from him.
"Fine then." He said coldly. I walked towards the door he was right behind me. He grabbed my hand and placed the envelope there softly.
"These tickets are only good until the end of the week. So you have until then to make up your mind." He said. I placed the envelope in my back pocket and walked out of the door. Damn it all.
JPOV (Jacob)
Renesme was in a deep sleep. She looked so peaceful and I was so happy that all the madness that has happened to her tonight has not affected her sleep at all. I softly grabbed her hand and gently placed it on my cheek trying to peek into her dreams. She was dreaming about me and her of course we were having a picnic by that the creek Bella likes so much. I placed her hand back on down gently and smiled. I better get to that couch; I know that Bella is seriously going to give me hell if she finds me in this bed. I kissed Renesme's forehead softly and gently got out of bed trying my best not to wake her.
I grabbed a blanket and some pillows and headed for the couch in the living room. I heard a car pulling up in the driveway. Who in the hell could that be this time of night? I t didn't smell like Edward. It was Bella and Jasper. I could tell by their scent. What the hell are those two doing this time of night? Bella can't be serious. She can't be possibly hanging out with Jasper alone after all the shit that went down tonight. I heard her telling him goodbye and she was walking towards the door. I really can't believe her.
"Oh you're awake." She said as she walked through the door. She looked like all the energy has been sucked out of her. When was the last time she fed?
"You look like shit." I said.
"Well thank you. That's exactly what I need to hear." She said with a little smile. She came and sat down next to me.
"What were you two doing?" I asked jumping straight to business.
"Is that any of your business?" She replied leaning her head on the couch closing her eyes like she was tired.
"It is if it's going to hurt Renesme at all in the future." I said.
"Jake now is not the right time to get on my nerves." She said. I sighed.
"Okay well what are you going to do about Edward? Nessie is really bummed about him leaving." I egged her on.
"I don't know yet." She replied monotone.
"You need to figure out a game plan soon Bella! You can't let things keep going on like this." I said getting irritated with her.
"Damnit Jacob! I don't need this right now. It has been a long fucking night okay! I will deal with it when I'm ready to but until then I want you to butt the fuck out of my business and only worry about Renesme." She shouted at me. I hope she didn't wake Renesme up. She shot up and walked off to her room slamming the door. I cannot believe she just reacted that way. Things are really going to shit.
"What is going on?" Renesme came out her room rubbing at her eyes.
"It's nothing baby just go back to bed." I said softly. She yawned once more and the then slowly went back to her bed room. I sighed and sprawled out on the couch. I placed my hands on my faced and inhaled deeply. How the hell am I going to fix this? I thought to myself as I exhaled softly.
BPOV
Who in the hell does he think he is? He has no right to question me and my whereabouts. I was so pissed off that all I could do was just pace back and forth throughout my room. I was looking around too, and for the first time since he left I really felt like Edward was gone. And even though I want to believe that he will come back because he said he will I feel like he won't. I flopped on my bed and sighed. Jasper is right, all I'm doing is making excuses for myself and running away instead of facing the problem head on. I could feel the corners of the envelope poking at my back I pulled it out and raised it over my face just staring at it.
Should I go to Brazil? Just pack up my things and Renesme's thing and just leave? If I leave now I can forget about Jasper and really work on things with Edward. But do I really want to forget about Jasper? These feelings I harbor for him are evident and I can't just ignore them or pretend that they do not exists. Even though I know that's what I should do if I want to fix my marriage and make things right with Edward but I just can't bring myself to do it. There's a part of me that doesn't want these feelings for Jasper to go away. I actually want to feed into those feelings and see where they take me. But I know that's extremely dangerous.
"Bella what the hell is going on with you?" I groaned to myself. There was silent knock at the door. I knew it was Jacob.
"Go away." I said closing my eyes.
"I just want to apologize, Bells let me come in." He said.
"I don't want to hear it." I said. I heard the door open and he was letting himself in anyway. Like what's the point of asking to come in if you were going to barge you way in anyways.
"Are you serious right now Jacob? I don't want to hear anything you have to say. So just go." I said getting up and walking over to the window. I didn't even want to look at him.
"Bella, I'm sorry okay? I know I have no right to question you the way I did back there and I really do apologize for that." He said. I could hear the annoyance in his voice.
"It's whatever Jacob. Just leave." I wasn't in the mood for this.
"What in the world has gotten into you? I know things are going to shit right now but acting this way isn't going to help anything." He said. I turned to look at him.
"You think you know about what's going on but you don't! So don't act like you could possibly understand what I'm going through right now. Just get the hell out Jacob." I shouted.
"You're going to wake Renesme. Just calm down please!" He said trying to reason with me.
"I'am calmed I just want you to get the hell out of here and mind your own business, you're only here to protect Renesme and be there for Renesme! I shouldn't be of any concern to you." I said.
"What do you mean by that?" He shouted back.
"Just exactly how it came across." I replied.
"You think I'm here just for Renesme, and that I shouldn't care about you anymore?" He was getting frustrated now.
"I don't have time for this Jacob."
"I still care about you Bella! I will always care about you do you understand that." He said he sounded so desperate. I didn't say anything. This was the last thing I wanted to hear.
"You were my first love. I thought I imprinted on you remember? When you almost died giving birth to Renesme I thought my world was ending and I wanted revenge on the man and the baby that did that to you if you had died that night. Do you remember any of that?" I could hear that he was getting ready to cry.
"Be quiet Jake before Renesme hears you." Renesme didn't know that Jake was once in love with me. And I never want her to find that out.
"You used to tell me everything. We used to talk about anything! You could always come to me when something was bothering you. I was that warm sun you ran to each and every time Edward did something wrong to you. Remember how miserable you were when he left you to supposedly "protect" you. I brought that smile back to your face when all you could do was cry! It was me who gave you that will to live when all you wanted to do was die! So why has things changed now? Why can't you talk to me like you have done many times before?" Jacob pleaded.
"Jacob that is enough, I don't want Renesme hearing any of this." I said looking away.
"Look I love Renesme, I love her with everything in me, but that doesn't mean I've stopped loving you too. I will always love you Isabella Swan and I will always care about you. Don't ever forget that. Don't you ever dare forget that okay?" He said. I didn't answer him. I didn't want to. He sighed and left, closing the door softly behind him. I sighed and plopped back on my bed covering my face. Fuck my life.