A/N: I would like to announce that Kallian's Sketchbook will get back to its normal agenda starting today.

Since I believe that RL will not be a problem for a while, there will be a new chapter every monday from now on.

This chapter is for Rohh Lael, who did not let me forget that he has already reached the current chapter and is pressing me for more. If you wake up tomorrow with 3 more chapters ready at your door, do not forget that it was you who asked for it. Joking sweetie, you know I love you, right? ;)

.

Credits:

Portuguese Beta: Rohh Lael

English Beta: wintryone

Artwork: goo. gl /FrCOj (without the spaces or check my profile) Thanks for the suggestion, Rohh Lael ;D

Disclaimer: Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware.

Edit 27/11/2012 : Fixed a minor grammar mistake. Thanks wintry :)

Chapter 7

Before the dawn

.

Kallian

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you."

Alistair's words echoed loud in my head as I watched Noah receiving the cup of blood from Duncan.

And Jory was dead.

Duncan stabbed him.

When Jory found that the ritual could kill him, he panicked. He drew his sword and tried to flee. In the next second, he was lying dead a few feet from me. Why?

Duncan had not killed Mahariel when she fled. Why did he have to kill Jory?

"There's no turning back," was what Duncan said.

And through his eyes, I knew he really meant it. I would die by his blade or by the corruption of the taint. The only chance I had was to resist. Keep straight with this until the end and resist.

Survive.

I saw Noah hesitating. He was awfully serious, apparently processing everything. However, despite his calm and his seemingly unshakable self-control, his breathing was really fast and I could see by the look in his eyes that he was scared.

Suddenly I realized that he was reflecting my own anxiety. I could almost hear his heart beating as strong as mine.

He stared down into the cup and hesitated. I could see the determination in his eyes welling up as he took a deep breath and raised the object up to his mouth, taking a long swig of the liquid.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Duncan said, taking the cup from him.

"Noah's eyes widened, and I could see the cords in his neck bulge out." His eyes rolled back and he fell choking, putting his hands to his throat before collapsing.

Alistair knelt beside him, pressing his fingers against Noah's neck to check his breathing.

"He'll live," he said apparently relieved as he looked at Duncan.

I let out a breath I did not knew I was holding, relieved.

Daveth had passed through the same process. However, he gave a muffled cry before falling lifeless on the ground. Alistair shook his head with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry Daveth," Duncan said, turning to me then. I took the cup with trembling hands and took a good look around me.

Duncan's expression was full of expectation. Alistair had his head lowered, frowning. However, his eyes were fixed on me.

There were three other Wardens present, but they were so dry and impersonal that I didn't care to record their names. They were pretty confident about Noah, but their expressions changed as soon as it became my turn. Their mask of disbelief made me want to kick their dammed asses.

And I would have loved to do it, if only I could remember how my legs worked.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Duncan told me, looking into my eyes, but the sound of my beating heart was so loud in my ears that I just guessed that this was what he said. I was so scared that I could not keep my hands steady, much less get rid of the feeling that my legs would fail at any moment.

But I knew that these feelings would only harm me, so I tried to clear my mind and focus on what had to be done.

I took a deep breath and raised the cup up to my mouth.

The blood was cold in the cup, but was warm when it touched my lips. But when it slid down my throat, it became hotter and hotter until it reached my stomach and started to burn like hell. From there is spread to every vein in my body. I felt like my flesh was crumbling. My vision blurred, the air did not reached my lungs and the last thing I felt was my head hitting the ground.

"She'll live," Alistair said checking Kallian's pulse at her throat.

"Very good," Duncan said, ordering the other Wardens to take care of the bodies. From the corner of his eye, he saw Alistair staring at Jory, visibly uncomfortable.

"I know how you feel Alistair," Duncan continued. " But you must understand that our work often requires us to be other than nice."

"I know Duncan. I understand," Alistair said, staring at the puddle of blood on the floor. "But it doesn't mean that I have to like it."

"This feeling is important, Alistair. This kindness shows your character, and it will help you to keep sober in this crazy world, but at the same time it's a good thing, it is also equally dangerous." Duncan said putting the cup inside a leather bag. "As a Grey Warden, you have to remain neutral – You should never get involved. Which means you cannot always do what you think is right, and there are times you must go against your own principles on behalf of the greater good.", "he added, placing a friendly hand on Alistair's shoulder.

"I know, but ..." Alistair stroked the back of his neck, still staring at the ground. "I did not know him, but he seemed to be a good man with a family and a whole life ahead of him. He didn't deserve to die."

"Good people die every day." Duncan raised Kallian - who showed few signs of agitation – in his arms carefully and nodded for Alistair to do the same with Noah. "What we can do is to use all possible and impossible means to stop the Blight and prevent more innocent people from suffering the same fate." Duncan sighed heavily before continuing. "As for those who perished during the ritual, we can only honor their sacrifice by giving our blood to fulfill our mission, as they did."

Alistair did not answer. He just put Noah on his shoulders, thoughtfully. It all made sense to him, yes, but it didn't make the situation better.

Seeing that Alistair was still uncomfortable, Duncan decided to change the subject.

"What did you think of them?" Duncan asked, looking at Noah.

"They are very skilled."

"Now, now, I know that! Why do you think I recruited them?" Duncan gave an amused smile, "I want to know your opinion. What can you tell me after spending an afternoon with them?"

"Oh, that. Well..." Alistair lowered his head, turning to face the ground again. "They hate me."

Duncan laughed hard. "Oh don't be so dramatic."

"I do not know if this will work, Duncan," He admitted, as they descended the stairs that led to the Grey Warden Quarter. "They keep to themselves and don't talk much, and definitely they don't share my incredible sense of humor." He forced a smile.

"Be reasonable, Alistair," Duncan said smiling while gently accommodating Kallian within the large tent, which he had arranged for their arrival. It had two bedrolls already stretched on the ground, one at each, separated by a thick cloth that divided the place into two sections. "Sometimes people can seem dry and obscure, like small fragments of charcoal. But if polished with care, they can shine like diamonds." He paused to see if Alistair was following his reasoning. "Just give them a chance."

Alistair waited until Duncan finished his speech to gently lower Noah on the left bedroll. When he finished, there was resolution boiling in his eyes.

"Confess," Alistair said, smiling, "You have a manual that teaches how to speak in code, don't you?"

Duncan laughed. "Ah, Alistair…" He nodded. "Your sense of humor is really unique. I just haven't figured out yet if this is a good or a bad thing."

Alistair replied with a grin as they walked out of the tent. However, a faint moan stopped him before he left.

Kallian was restless, thrashing and clutching the sheets tightly. Thick drops of sweat began to appear on her furrowed brow and her jaw was so clenched that it seemed like it would break. He watched her carefully and turned back to Duncan.

"She'll be okay?" Alistair asked, fighting the urge to wake her.

"It's just the effects of the Joining," Duncan replied, leaving the tent.

"But ... she seems to be suffering so much," Alistair said giving a last look at her. From the corner of his eye he saw that Noah was becoming agitated, too.

"It will pass, Alistair," Duncan said, already outside.

Alistair stared at the floor for a moment and shook his head before leaving the tent.

Kallian was dizzy, slightly nauseous. She rubbed her eyes to get a better look around and realized that she was sitting on a rock, on top of a familiar hill, under the same sunset she always saw in her nightmares.

Breathing became almost impossible when she realized where she was.

Fade.

As the years went by, Kallian learned that if she could not remember how she arrived where she was, it meant that something was wrong. Very wrong.

She looked around scared, panic spreading through her body. Her first reaction was to grab her daggers, but as usual, they were not there. The Leather armor was replaced by a light, knee-length white dress. Her body - No scars her shoulders exposed and clean - It was the same way it was when they first met.

It was a small ritual - among many - that the lion had: to mark her again every time they met. Keeping the memory alive.

And for Kallian it was worse each passing day.

Her heart was slowly calming down as she realized that she was alone, even knowing that it would not take long for that reality change.

However, each moment of peace, no matter if it's short or not, it was a blessing.

She sat on the stone again and tried to remember the previous events, breathing deeply several times. Flashes of her Joining arose in her mind. The process was unpleasant, and for a moment, she had thought she would die. It was so painful. But hopefully it would not take too long for her to wake up.

Then, as if to contradict her expectations, the first explosion came from the direction of Denerim. Kallian covered her eyes to protect herself against the dust, but before she could compose herself, another one went off, and brought a strong breeze in her direction.

It did not take more than a few seconds before there was a third explosion. This one was closer, and so strong that the impact hurled her against a pine tree.

The little elf groaned when an involuntary cough send spasms of pain through her stomach. One of her ribs was broken. She rolled over to the side, lay on her back and hugged her abdomen, her eyes closed tightly.

"Oh, that looks bad," said a hoarse voice that breathed on her face.

Kallian froze. She did not need to open your eyes to know who it was.

"Be… gone," she said between gasps, still recovering from the impact.

"You could be more receptive, at least for once." Kallian could smell sulfur mixed with copper and anchovies on his breath as he spoke. "We've been friends for so long."

"We are not friends," she snapped, opening her eyes slowly. The first thing she saw was his scarlet eyes fixed on hers, a few inches from her face. "I will not deal with a demon."

The lion smiled, "Yet." he said, backing away slowly and sitting with his back to the hill. The wind still blew strong, and the balance of his black mane gave him an air of omnipotence. He wagged his tail slowly around his body in a provocative, almost smug way, which completed his expression of pleasure.

"Go away." Kallian repeated weakly but firmly, forcing herself to sit up.

"I'd rather stay," The lion replied and smiled again. "The chaotic environment of a desperate mind is fascinating," he said looking back, as a fourth explosion was rocked the foot of the hill, not far from them.

"Can you feel it? The smell of fear. All the despair, the anguish almost palpable as it touches your heels and spreads like a contagious disease throughout the body." He continued showing his teeth, purely happy. "It's fascinating, totally fascinating. Don't you think?"

Kallian didn't answered. She understood and could actually feel what he was talking about, but fascinating was not exactly the first word that came to her mind to describe the feeling. Actually, it was not even the last.

"I came to offer you something new today," he continued. "And before you say that you don't care, I suggest you listen to me first."

"I don't care." She stood up, staring at the sunset. The light was her escape point, the source of her strength and sanity. While there was light, she had the strength to not let the fear take over her mind.

Once in darkness, only the Maker - if he exists - knew what really happened. And she did not want to think about it.

"I presume you're homesick," he said standing as well, circling her slowly. Seeing how her expression became slightly shaken, a smile of satisfaction came over his face. "Perhaps I can offer you the release of your duty." Watching her internal struggle was sometimes more pleasurable than seeing those poor mages accept his offers. "Think about it: Tomorrow you can be back to your home, in the arms of your father, pretending that you are not to blame for causing such chaos to those you love most." He paused, for long enough to make sure she followed his reasoning. "Because you know it's your fault, don't you? All the confusion in the Alienage until now was generated by acts arising from your negative influence. Because of course, none of those cowards would be bold enough to act as they did if they were not influenced by someone else. The things would be so different without you around, don't you think? "

"But I gave you a second chance," he continued, his voice overlapping the sound of a fifth explosion. "I am a spirit with a charitable soul. Like a good father who offers a helping hand to troubled child, knowing that the next day he would repeat the same mistake, but who nonetheless believes in his son's ability to change." He stopped walking and sat down, his eyes on the same level as hers. "You spit in my hand, Kallian. You made a fool of me." He put his paw heavily on her right shoulder, marking and burning the same way he always did, forcing her to her knees. Her scream echoed through the trees. "But anyway, here I am believing in my little rebellious daughter and offering a third chance." He dropped his paw, licking the blood from his claws. "A fresh start. Oblivion I may offer, if you're nice enough. The blessing of ignorance can be yours for the same price as always."

Kallian looked at the sun, which quickly disappeared below the horizon. As much as she wanted to forget, no matter how tempting the offer to erase all the bad things that had happened in her life and start over was, she would not solve her problems that way.

She would be fooling herself, living a dirty and fake illusion.

The sound of the sixth explosion gave her an idea. She got up quickly and began to run as fast as she could, throwing herself down the hill towards Denerim. With luck, the thud of one of these explosions would be enough to wake her.

After much stumbling, falling and rolling, she reached the city gates while the place was quickly covered in darkness.

The lion just watched while she ran. It was with much regret that he began to fade as he saw the black sky turning red.

Kallian kept running without looking at anything until she reached the market. She only noticed that the place had brutally changed when her tired legs made her stumble and fall to the ground.

The city was on fire. There were darkspawn everywhere, destroying and looting. This was no longer Denerim, but some smaller village that she did not know.

She stood up, realizing she no longer wore a white dress, but the Leather that Duncan had arranged for her. She also noticed that her daggers were in her hands in time to block the sword of one of darkspawn before he could cut her stomach.

"What the ..." She was interrupted by the exploding fireball of an Emissary, just some meters from her feet. She flew against one of the houses. Her ribs that had been anesthetized by adrenaline, groaned in protest, burning like they were inside of one of the houses on fire. She lay on her back just as she had done before and looked around.

The panic was widespread. Farmers and soldiers were lost in the middle of the black army, elves and humans fighting for their lives as equals.

Between the sound of metal clashing, arrows being thrown and bodies falling, she saw a soldier who looked slightly familiar fighting near where she was. She could see the unshaven man with an unkempt brown hair, covered with dirt and blood swinging wildly while he wielded his giant sword against a Vanguard.

Even upside down she could recognized that vandalized armor anywhere.

"Noah ...?" She whispered, squinting to try to see better. Despite the distance, he seemed to hear her and turned his head toward her, his brown eyes fixed on hers.

Before he could open his mouth to say something, a loud roar split the air, leaving them nearly deaf. The source of the sound, a huge black dragon landed between them. His tail missed Noah by a few inches.

She quickly got back on her feet.

His red eyes looked deeply into Kallian's soul, almost as if he could read her thoughts. She had never seen such gross cruelty in the eyes of a living being before, not even in the demon that haunted her. She wanted to look in Noah's direction, to see if he was okay, but she found herself unable to move.

The dragon, meanwhile, took a deep breath, dropped his long neck back and let out another fierce roar. But all she heard was a loud static, thin and shrill that directly echoed inside her head. She closed her eyes tightly, covering her ears with her hands, but it was useless - it was too strong.

As suddenly as the dragon came, the sound stopped. She opened her eyes, startled, staring at the dragon. The static had turned into a mesmerizing melody, blocking all of her senses.

She had no more control over her own body.

The music began to form words inside her mind, words she was gradually understanding.

"I'm watching you, Warden." She felt his words through the music. "You will fall!"

He opened his mouth again and the deafening static was back. Kallian fell to her knees with her hands pressed against her ears, resting her elbows on the ground. Her head felt like it would explode.

The dragon, satisfied with his work, took flight. A huge cloud of dust made Kallian topple sideways and she fell on her back. The sound started to fade slowly, but her head was still hurting.

She looked up to where Noah was and found him lying, hugging his stomach with one hand and holding his forehead with the other. His hand fell lifeless to the side before he could say anything.

Soon, her own consciousness was weakening and before her vision darkened completely, she saw the dragon spitting a green fire on the plantations.

Noah

Holy Shit!

What the hell was that?

I was shaking like a child who saw a ghost under the bed. And covered in sweat like one.

I never had a ... Dream ... So strange in my entire life. First, the village being massacred by darkspawn. It seemed to be Highever outskirts at first, but I saw no familiar faces. No, it was not possible. It could not be. Highever stood in the far north of Ferelden and technically the horde were invading from the south ...

I shook my head. I could not think about it. Not now.

The elf moaned at my side. We were in a large tent, divided by a thick piece of cloth that blocked my vision of the neighboring bedroll, but I recognized her voice. Apparently things were not easy for her either.

I looked at my hands, which trembled with less intensity now.

I'd been woken up a few minutes ago by my own screaming, if that is even possible. That stupid dragon destabilized me - with his cruel eyes and that stupid song that entered my mind and took control of my body. I thought I was going to explode from the inside out.

Not to mention the impression that I had seen -

"Ahh!" The elf screamed. By the movement of the cloth and the sound of her rapid and mismatching breathing she was probably awake.

She quickly began to whisper amid dry coughs and choking. Except for the word 'Real', I could not understand any other word.

I called to her, "Elf?"

She gasped and in a broken voice, said "Noah?"

Maker, she seemed to be really bad.

"You survived," I said, lying down again. "I did not expect that."

"I hope ... you have lost a lot of money with that dammed bet," she said weakly, trying to regain her breathing.

"It only ends when it ends. I still have a chance." I returned the provocation. She snorted in response.

I waited until she calmed her breathing to break the silence, "Are you okay?"

There was a long pause before she answered, "I will be. You?"

"Same here," I replied, staring at the ceiling of the tent, feeling something clicking in my brain.

I was a Grey Warden now.

I do not know how long I slept, but it must be late at night. For the light that entered the tent, the fire was still burning, but there were only a few shadows walking out there. Probably in a few hours, I'd be on the field, fighting against Blight, with an overconfident King, half a dozen Wardens and an old war hero - Cailan's right arm, who seemed to be unable to bring him to reason. If our army were not so great, I'd say we'd be screwed.

I put my hands behind my head, somewhat at ease with the whole situation.

Anyways, everything was now in the hands of Maker.

"Noah?" she called. Her voice was almost normal.

"Hm?" I made a sound with my throat for her to continue.

"You..." Her voice died before she finished.

"I...?"

"I had the impression that you were..." She paused again. "Never mind." I heard her body falling against the bedroll.

I grumbled, growling low against the pillow.

"We will have to share the tent?" She asked after a while, her voice clearly afraid.

I thought for a moment before answering, "Apparently yes."

I saw her get up and slowly walk to entrance of the tent. It took a while, but I understood what she was thinking about.

"Go back to the bed, elf," I said firmly. "I will not lay a finger on you. I'm not that kind of guy."

She turned to look at me, disbelief written all over her face, "How do I know if you're telling me the truth?"

"You don't" I replied, staring back at her.

"So how do you expect me to believe in you?" She crossed her arms.

"I don't."

"You're not making much sense" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not even trying." Her petulance was fun and annoying. While I like people who look me in the eye without wavering, and who aren't afraid to argue with me, I lose my temper too easily with stubborn people. But, for now it was fun.

"And what exactly are you trying to do?"

"Sleep," I said triumphantly, smiling like a child when I saw her frowning. "And you should lay your elven ass somewhere – Here in the warmth and safety of the tent or out there exposed to the bad soldiers, whatever - and try to do the same." I said, turning my back to her.

The elf snorted, "I hate you."

I laughed, "I know."

Defeated, she returned to her bedroll without saying anything. If she slept there or just got her stuff, I didn't know. The fatigue hit me suddenly, and before I realized it, I was asleep.

Please, leave a review. It's very hard to know if you're liking if you don't talk to me. I would love to hear your opnion. :)