A/N: Last Chapter of the year! Yay!

Thanks for the great reviews! You guys are amazing :)

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Credits:

Portuguese Beta: Rohh Lael

English Beta: wintryone

Artwork of Chapter 11: goo. gl /o9BXl (without the spaces)

Artwork of Chapter 12: goo. gl /SgD0T (without the spaces)

Disclaimer: Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware.

Chapter 12

Starting over

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Kallian

There were no nightmares that night.

I stayed awake for a long time, and to be honest I didn't have any idea of how many hours I slept. I just know that it was already morning.

I was exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted.

In the morning, before we left, Flemeth gave us some things - breads, fruits, water, bandages and five sovereigns for each of us.

Can you believe it? Five sovereigns! And also a few silvers.

This, however, does not put her on my list of best friends. I cannot help but be suspicious of mages. Especially when I could read them. Every mage has part of his nature written in his energy. They could lie if they wished to – to others, to themselves – but they couldn't lie about their magic. It was too way personal, like it was coming directly from their souls. Once I'd learned that, I found myself being able to read them, like a book. Their intentions fueled their actions, and it ended up being reflected in their magic.

Flemeth, however, seemed to be neutral – awfully neutral. I couldn't feel anything from her. Anything! And sincerely, I can't decide if this is a good or a bad sign. She saved me from the Darkspawn, and there was nothing I could do but accept her help.

But I sure was grateful.

"I don't trust you, witch. Leading us to a place so isolated like this seems too convenient for you," Alistair demanded suspiciously. He had been very quiet since we'd left Flemeth's hut, and when he opened his mouth it was to complain. Humans...

Yes, I was still angry with him because of the previous day.

"Feel free to take your own path, Warden. Embrace the horde, if you want. However, if you're not going to giving us a better alternative, then I suggest you shut up and let me do my job," said Morrigan.

Ouch!

Ah, yes. Flemeth also "gave" us her daughter. And she was leading us out of the Wilds, using some interesting shortcuts to avoid the Darkspawn horde, which by the way, was really huge.

Morrigan stopped, looking at Noah, as if waiting for confirmation if she should keep leading or not. He didn't say a word, just ignored her and kept walking. Lately, this was his response to everything.

I still cannot believe he decided to come with us. At least, I thought he was with us. I couldn't be sure, since he just put his sword on his back in the morning and started to follow us, like a ghost.

Actually, you just knew he was there because you could hear his breathing now and then.

His bad temper had reached an impressive new level.

Morrigan then crossed her arms and started to stare at me.

"What is it, Morrigan?" I asked, staring back.

She shrugged. "I just want to know if anyone else disagrees with me." She shifted her weight and tossed her head in disdain. "If you'd rather take a different path than the safe one, feel free to go. But before you do, let me know so I don't waste my time trying to help you. If you'd rather die through your own ignorance, I can be back home in time for dinner."

Of all the people I could have traveled with, how the hell did I end up with the most difficult ones?

I watched her for a while, thinking. Noah leaned against a tree, waiting to move on. Alistair looked at me intently, waiting for my response. He probably expected me to agree with him.

I had no idea how things got to this point, but it seemed that the last word would be mine.

The whole question was: How could I trust an apostate?

An apostate who saved our lives.

This situation could not be worse. But the truth is that we needed her.

I took a long, deep breath before answering.

"Morrigan, you know this place better than anyone, so if you tell me that this is our best option, then I can only trust in your word," I said slowly, studying her reaction. "Do not disappoint me, or else..."

"Or what? I'm not afraid of threats Warden," she retorted angrily.

I'd say things were complicated enough, since one false step could throw us directly in the path of the horde, but since she took it personally...

"You should be afraid. His sword flies." I replied, pointing to Noah, who rolled his eyes.

"What?" She asked, confused, squinting.

"One day you'll understand." I shrugged. "Lead the way."

The group followed Morrigan's lead for hours, stopping occasionally to take a break. They went through dark and suspect places, but as promised, it was far away from the main horde. Also, with our Grey Warden senses, we managed to avoid all of the minor groups that were around.

It was less than an hour until twilight, and the group was looking for a place to set up camp.

"I don't like the idea of spending the night here in the Wilds..." Alistair said as he picked up branches and pieces of wood along the way for the fire.

"This place is cruel to the unwary traveler who venture through its mysterious paths in the night," Morrigan said, analyzing the place. If her intuition was correct, they were just a few meters away from a glade, hidden among high rocks and trees - perfect for camping. "But I don't think you want to risk that, do you?"

"Right..." Alistair said, defeated. He looked at Kallian, hoping to get some support, but she narrowed her eyes, shook her head and resumed walking.

She reminds me too much of Noah, he thought, crossing his arms angrily.

"This is the place I mentioned," Morrigan said, pointing to the small glade ahead of them.

It was a beautiful place, despite its somber atmosphere. The grass, very green and low, covered the entire site along with the brown moss that fell from trees, fighting for its space with the rocks and the dry branches. It was, indeed, a place well protected and dark at the same time. There, it seemed that the night had already fallen.

"Have I disappointed you, Warden?" Morrigan asked, victorious.

"Not even a bit," Kallian replied, relieved. It was good to get at least one of her concerns off her shoulders. "Good job, Morrigan."

Noah walked around the place, making a brief inspection of the ground, especially where the entries weren't covered by trees - the blind spots and the really protected points of the place. Alistair was preparing the campfire while Morrigan was setting out her bedroll as far as possible from the group. Noah settled against a rock under a tree, just like Morrigan. The difference was that he did not have a bedroll. Actually, none of the Wardens did.

The only belonging they had was Kallian's backpack, which she hadn't let go of since she left home and a sack with the supplies that Flemeth gave to them, which Alistair was carrying along the way.

Once the fire was set, Alistair stood up and walked toward Kallian, who was standing near one of the trees in silence.

"Looks like we'll sleep on the ground today. But at least we will have the fire to warm us up," he joked, trying to smile. Kallian, however, frowned and gave him such an empty look that even with the fire burning near them, he felt a chill over his spine.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she replied sulkily, walking near the campfire. Alistair followed with his eyes until she sat facing the fire.

He was confused. What was wrong with her? She had never been so rude with him before.

What was that? He thought. But the truth was that he was willing to find out. After all, he could take the risk of having another Noah in the group.

He walked up to her, determined to get an explanation at any cost, one way or another.

"What is your problem?" He asked angrily.

"If you're here only to scream again, then don't even bother to open your mouth, Alistair," She cut, irritated. "I don't need this shit."

Scream again? What she was… Oh.

Then, everything made sense.

She was angry with him because of the way they'd argued the night before.

Suddenly, his anger turned to guilt and all the harsh words died in his throat as little elf returned to watch the flames.

He was silent, sitting on the ground at in a safe distance from where she was. He opened his mouth several times to say something, but he couldn't find the right words. He deserved her coldness; after all, he'd acted like an idiot. Everything he thought to say seemed insufficient.

"I'm sorry," Alistair said, staring at the flames, embarrassed. It was the only thing he could say. He was feeling horrible for such a blunder. Of course she was not the one to blame for everything that happened, and he felt like an idiot that he had even thought so. "I…"

Kallian looked at him, raising one eyebrow suspiciously.

"Go ahead," she conceded, hugging her legs underneath and leaning her cheek on her knee, looking at him seriously.

"I... I think I was a bit unfair to you," he began, still staring at the flames.

"A bit?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Okay, a lot," he admitted softly. "I needed to vent and I ended up taking it out on you ..."

"... Unnecessarily," she added, keeping her eyes fixed on his. The silence between them was very disconcerting, but he didn't dare to divert his attention from the flames. He was just too ashamed to look at her.

After what seemed like five minutes, she whispered, "I just wondered how you were handling everything. I didn't mean to bother you or invade your space."

He turned his head to look at her, surprised by her answer. He definitely did not expect this. She was visibly upset, so he was expecting shouts and kicks instead of words. Definitely this just made things even worse.

"Seriously, I'm sorry," he said after a while, looking deeply into her eyes. Her instincts were telling her that he meant it, and normally her instincts hardly failed. "I was going through a bad time, and Noah was troubling me before you arrived. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts and, well, the result was that you saw."

"I expected this sort of reaction from him," she said honestly, closing her eyes. "I didn't know you were like him."

"Wait, wait!" He said, raising his hands defensively. "I'm not like Noah, I swear!"

"That was not what you showed me."

"Let's start over?"

"How so?" She asked, lifting her head.

"We could ignore what has happened so far and start from scratch."

"Your conscience is so heavy that you have to go to that extreme to feel better?"

"Ouch, you got me," he said, smiling sheepishly.

There was a long silence. Alistair was troubled. For him, one more mistake had been made and he was certain that he had won the hatred of his new companions.

He was ready to get up, when Kallian extended her hand.

"Kallian. Pleased to meet you," she said, leaning her body back, leaning on one hand. She would never know if he meant it or not if she wouldn't give him a second chance. So, be it. She didn't need another problem.

What could be wrong with that?

"Alistair," he shook her hand, smiling. His grip was gentle, but firm. "The pleasure is mine."

They were quiet for a while, staring at the fire, until Alistair decided to break the silence again, "I should have realized that you weren't like Noah."

"Yes, you should," she grumbled, but her face was more relaxed, which gave Alistair confidence to continue the conversation.

"I guess nobody asked how you were, right?"

"You guessed right." She gave a half smile. "Our group is not the best example of fellowship, right?" She gestured for him to look around.

Alistair looked at Noah and then at Morrigan. He chuckled at the thought of three different camps inside the same group. Kallian couldn't help but smile. It was the first time that she was in a group like this, but even knowing that she hadn't any experience with this subject, she knews how absurd this whole situation was.

"Definitely not!" He took a deep breath, getting serious again. "How are you handling this?"

She thought for a moment, assessing the best way to explain the situation without seeming desperate or lost.

"One step at a time, I think that would be the best answer." She stretched her legs toward the fire and leaned back on her arms. "And you?"

"As you can see, not very well." His gaze was lost somewhere in the forest. Thinking about Duncan was as if a knife was carved into his flesh - every time a memory popped into his mind, the blade coldly turned in his heart.

"You liked him a lot, didn't you?" She asked, seeing the inner conflict plastered on his face.

"Yes..." His eyes filled with tears, but he did not let them fall.

"He was a good man," said Kallian weakly, lying down against the cool grass of the glade. "I cannot believe he's gone."

"Neither can I," he whispered, lowering his head.

"You want to talk?" She asked, looking at Alistair from corner of her eye. She knew it was a sensitive subject, and she was afraid that he would lose his mind again. Actually, part of her was feeling bad for seeing him so sad. It still bothered her to see his distant wet eyes lost in his own sorrow. She knew what it felt like – It was like she was facing a mirror.

"No, I guess. Thanks for the offer anyway," he said, standing up.

"It would be nice if we could rest; tomorrow will be a long day. But first we have to establish an order for the watch." Kallian said.

"I can go first if you want." Alistair offered.

"I'll take the second then. Morrigan will take the third and Noah the last."

"Okay." He replied, walking away from the fire, to make room for Kallian as she settled down.

"I don't remember agreeing to this," Noah muttered. His voice has never sounded so bizarre.

"You were listening to our conversation?" Alistair asked, mentally counting the distance between them. Noah was relatively far. Or they were too loud, or Noah had good hearing.

"Even Amaranthine could hear your conversation. Tell me, why we had to find a place hidden like this if you cannot keep your freaking mouth shut?"

"Ah, thank you for letting us know you're still with us, Noah. We are grateful for your active participation with the group, and for you relentless willingness to help – always with a smile on your face." Kallian said, mockingly.

"Screw you, elf." Noah growled.

"Good night to you, too," she rolled her eyes.

"Put out the damn fire at least." Noah grumbled.

"What? Why?!" Kallian jerked up, startled. "What's this about the fire again?"

"We have a nearly full moon in the sky. Total visibility. Anybody seventy, maybe a hundred yards away can see the smoke." He leaned back against a tree. "Unless of course you want to attract the Darkspawn. "If that's the case, continue with your conversation and they'll be here shortly."

"We can't just lower the flames and let it weakly burn?" She asked, ignoring his rudeness. Her mind was occupied with other problems. Like the Demon.

"You heard what I just said?" Noah growled.

"He's right," Alistair said as he lit a piece of wood to use as a torch. "Not only Darkspawn, but there's also bandits that could be attracted by the fire. We need to go unnoticed."

Kallian stay silent, defeated. She watched Alistair stepping on the fire, the flames gradually becoming extinct.

Kallian

Completely in the dark, in the middle of the woods, sleeping on the cold ground and alone. I was definitely screwed.

I could already see those damned scarlet eyes, watching me in the shadows, moving in every breeze, in every rustle of the leaves.

There was no best time for him to keep that promise. And the wait was killing me.

By the Void, Dammit!

I was awake, lying on my stomach with my face buried in my arms, refusing to sleep until the time that Alistair called me to replace him.

The watch was worse than expected, because I had to keep my eyes open.

But at least I had a torch.

By the way, I covered Morrigan's turn, too.

Everything was quiet, and despite my initial fear, I wasn't that scared anymore. After surviving the first hour, the others were not so bad.

I could see that the torch illuminated more than I thought. I could watch the silvery leaves of the bushes lit by the moon wavering in the wind. I could also see the breathing silhouette of my companions, sleeping peacefully on the ground. And most importantly: There was no lion behind the trees.

But that didn't make me want to sleep. In fact, I was deadly tired because of the hike, tired of having spent the last night crying, but I knew that as soon as I closed my eyes, everything would start all over again.

"Go to sleep, elf." Noah said suddenly, taking the torch from my hands. I almost fell off the rock where I was sitting.

"It's not your turn yet," I said, trying to grab the torch back. He abused the fact that he was taller than me, and lifted the torch high above his head and out of my reach, just as he had done with drawing at Ostagar.

As if my life were not complicated enough, fate made me small.

"Neither is it yours," he said grimly. I frowned at him too, but instead of teasing me, he pointed the torch to the ground and looked at me with a victorious expression that made me be sure that I would not like what was coming next.

"Sleep. Now." He continued with a threatening tone. "If not, I will extinguish the fire."

He was sure a manipulative son of a bitch!

"Right!" I huffed, defeated. Staying in the dark was one thing, sleeping in the dark was another, and much worse. I started walking to my seat near the ashes of the fire, when he made a sound with his throat to catch my attention.

"There," he pointed to the place where he was sleeping near the tree root.

"Wait, you want to tell me where I should sleep?" No way! I still had my damn pride. It would not be manipulated by an arrogant human.

That was until he lowered the torch to a few millimeters from the ground.

I would give anything to punch him at that moment.

"Right!" I raised my hands, angry, snorting toward the place he had indicated. He, in counterpart, disappeared among the trees, starting his rounds.

I cursed him so badly at that moment that frankly I don't even remember my exact words. Especially since most of them I had invented. The rage blinds the reason, and apparently, it destroys the vocabulary, too.

Anyway, I bit my tongue and I lowered my head against the tree root.

There was an opening in the trees, just above my head, which allowed the moonlight to penetrate the gap completely, gently touching my face. It was by far the most enlightened place in the camp. I could see a privileged view of the moon, as well.

Noah, Noah… I honestly don't know what to think about you. Most of the day you're an arrogant bastard, but on the other hand, the remaining part shows that you have a heart inside of your skiff of ice.

Bipolarity is a disgrace.

I tried to relax, looking at the moon. She was beautiful, as always, transforming everything it touched into silver. Slowly, I was losing consciousness and then, before I knew it, I was sleeping - the veil of the fade was playing with the tips of my fingers.

I could feel the world transforming itself around me when Noah's cry pulled me out of my dream.

"Darkspawn!"

Happy New Year! ;D