Thanks for sticking with this. Hope you've enjoyed.

You're the light, you're the night, you're the colour of my blood. You're the cure, you're the pain, you're the only thing I wanna touch. Never knew that it could mean so much

Carla held her daughter close against her chest and breathed in her smell. It was the first time in the two and a half weeks she'd been born that Carla had held Macie properly since the hospital and as looked down at the tiny being, she wondered why she'd ever wasted a second of it.

She was still completely unaware of Peter's presence as she sat crossed legged on the sofa, her eyes on her daughter. "Mummy's here now little one. Mummy's here." Carla held her as close as she could, almost trying to make up for lost moments. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me for a mummy but I'm gonna try my hardest, I swear. People will probably tell you lots of things about me when you get bigger Macie. I'm not that liked round here you see. I want you to know how much I love you though, and your daddy does do. He's the one that's been looking after you why I've been being so rubbish, but I'm gonna get help now I promise darling. I'm going to try and be a good mum. I want to be, I do. You were made with so much love and you're so so precious. A miracle. My little miracle."

Peter had let himself in a while ago after forcing Carla to stay with Macie while he went to check on the bookies. He knew it was hard on her but he'd needed to make her do something. Make her feel something. So he'd gotten up that morning as normal, fed and clothed his daughter that was only very recently allowed home from hospital and then placed her in her moses basket in the front room beside Carla who was where she always was these last few days if she wasn't at the factory. Sat, pretending intently to concentrate on rubbish TV while Peter could see right though her. He could see the pain and fear in her eyes a mile off. "Right love I'm popping into work. See you two later." He kissed Macie's forehead and then Carla's and then, he had simply left. Not giving her more than a second to protest.

"Your dad's a right moron trusting me on me own with you. I don't know how to stop you crying or feed you or owt!" Carla sighed to herself and ignored the fact that as soon as she had tenderly cradled her screaming daughter to her chest, the crying had stopped.

"You're so little. So fragile. God, I've never been good for anyone. This'll all end badly little one."

Peter bit his lip and slowly made his way over to his two girls, "Eh, I think you're doing pretty well actually love."

Carla looked up, startled and then threw her husband a glare, "What were you thinking you flammin' idiot! I can't look after her, you know that Peter!" But Peter shook his head as he sat beside her carefully, "She looks pretty content to me sweetheart." It wasn't until then that Carla had realised Macie was asleep. Slumbering contently for the first time in her mother's arms.

"You 'ave been good for someone Carla. You've been good for me. Do you know how hard it's been not to turn to drink these last few weeks? How much I've been desperate to get off me face? You think I would've stayed sober if it weren't for you and that little girl? That baby that you carried and you gave me? Cos I know I sure as hell wouldn't have."

Carla shook her head, but her eyes remained on the little girl she was finding so comforting to hold, "I'm a mess, Peter. Why did I ever let you convince me I could be a mum."

Peter so delicately ran a finger down his sleeping baby's cheek and then did the same to Carla, "I don't need to convince you. You're already doing it. She already needs you, Carla. And you need her. You love her and she's going to grow to love you with a love you have never ever known. A love that knows no bounds no matter what you do, as long as you show it back. As long as you are always there. To wipe her tears, to cuddle her after a nightmare, to fight off anyone that tries to hurt her. To scare away monsters under her bed or wipe her grazed knees. To take her to school on her first day and be there for all the parents evenings and the sports days and have her friends over for tea and let her tell you everything she's done that day even if it's utter rubbish. You are going to be a better mum than I was a dad to Simon and I am going to be the best dad I can hope to be. We're going to give our daughter everything we can in this life Carla. I will not let you push her away or push me away. I won't."

When Peter pulled back after placing a kiss to his wife's head he realises she is crying. But she isn't crying because she is sad.

"I want her to be so proud that I'm her mum, Peter. Not embarrassed. I want her to grow up and come into work with me and I'll carry her around while she cuddles into me. I want her to toddle around playing with my expensive lipsticks and wearing my heels when she's trying to be like her mum. I want to take her to school and meet her friends and I want her to trust me with anything. To come to me if shes scared or worried or confused. I just want to be everything my mum wasn't." Carla wiped her eyes quickly, careful not to disturb Macie,

"What if I can't do that Peter?"

Suddenly he realised why she was so terrified. She didn't want her daughter to end up as lonely as she once had been. It broke his heart for the little Carla he had never known but would have done anything to protect.

"You know what love? I think you're already half way there." She let her eyes meet his and slowly, she nodded. Because she was beginning to realise that just by wanting to do all these things, she was a better mum than hers had ever been.

As she let Peter cuddle her and held her daughter even closer, Carla Barlow finally realised that it isn't about the perfect life and it isn't about being happy all the time. It's about the people you spend the imperfect moments with and it's how perfect they make those moments anyway.

And looking at the little family she had made, she was pretty sure she had come further than she ever imaged she could.

The end.