A/N: We're getting close to the end of what I had planned for this fic - I only wanted a small comedy piece, as I've found in the past on other sites that if I stretch humour/crack fics out too much, they run stale. Still, I intend to do at least another chapter after this one and possibly more if the inspiration strikes me, so the misadventures of Neo aren't quite over yet!

Disclaimer: I'm afraid RWBY doesn't belong to me - it all belongs to the genius team at Rooster Teeth.

'Really, it's almost like people don't trust me or something,' Ozpin mused internally as he considered his latest project, while a furious tempest of rage that some also knew as Glynda Goodwitch paced around his office.

It had taken a couple of days, but Neopolitan had managed to recover from the horrible experience she witnessed while shadowing team CFVY, and they were once again faced with the conundrum of where to put her.

"Well, Ozpin? What are we going to do with her?" Glynda demanded, "She's obviously incompatible with literally everyone in the entire school. She can't even interact with some of them without leading to mass property damage! She hasn't made any effort at all to change her attitude or behaviour, and you haven't made any attempts to reign her in at all!"

"Yes, I know," Ozpin agreed.

"We're almost out of options here, Ozpin, and - wait, you know?" Glynda paused in confusion.

"I haven't made any effort to reign her in," Ozpin nodded, "That was the idea. Honestly, Glynda, did you really think I didn't have an ulterior motive for my actions regarding our colourful new friend other than to annoy you? Not that annoying you isn't a valuable and productive use of my time, of course, but still."

Glynda forced herself to ignore the last part of his statement and mulled it over for a moment. "All right, Ozpin, you have me curious. Exactly what have you got cooked up now?"

"It actually neatly ties in with another concern you have raised with me in the past," Ozpin began simply, "I'm sure you recall our rather curious guests."

"Yes," Glynda agreed dryly, "I could hardly forget the appearance of someone who I fought directly against purely because she is now wearing a school uniform instead of a dress. Miss Rose may not recall her features, shadowed as she was, but I am an experienced Huntress."

"Well," Ozpin began innocently, "It has occurred to me that our new enrollee could be very valuable as an ambassador to our school. We could certainly attach her to a team from one of our visiting contemporaries," he took a sip of coffee, "Of course, the fact that one of the members of the group I had in mind has a striking similarity to a young woman who prevented you from capturing a criminal, and another almost perfectly matches the description of an armed young woman who had asked for directions to the book shop of a man who was murdered minutes later are mere coincidence."

Glynda frowned. "But surely if she's on their side to begin with-"

"-I'm not sure I believe that she has ever been on anyone's 'side' but her own, Glynda," Ozpin interrupted, "But in either case, what will happen is: she will either subject our guests to her... wonderful personality because she is genuine in her desire to actually be 'on our side', or, she will need to do exactly what we have allowed her to do very publicly throughout her time here so far to keep her cover and prevent anyone from seeing that something is amiss."

"You... you're going to weaponise annoyingness," his deputy said in horrified awe, "I thought you couldn't terrify me any more than you already did."

"I always aim to surpass the expectations that people have for me, Glynda," Ozpin replied smugly, "I assumed you knew that by now."

"Emerald, can you get the door?" Cinder spoke up as breakfast was interrupted by a knock.

"Sure, Cinder," Emerald practically jumped out of her seat to answer it.

Mercury made a quiet 'whiplash' noise under his breath.

"You!"

The two still at the table looked up as Emerald stepped back, pointing at the familiar face standing in the door.

"Woah, wait, weren't you Torch-" Mercury was stopped by a glare from Cinder, "Uh, I mean, who are you? I've obviously never seen you before, you stranger, you."

Roman Torchwick's former hired bodyguard held up a whiteboard.

WHY HELLO STRANGE PEOPLE I HAVE CLEARLY NEVER EVER MET

She scribbled another note.

I HAVE BEEN ATTACHED TO YOUR GROUP IN THE INTEREST OF INTER-SCHOOL RELATIONS

Neo gave a predatory smile.

AND NOW WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT TIME TO INFORM YOU THAT I ACTUALLY HEARD EVERY SINGLE HEIGHT JOKE

Emerald paled and Mercury winced. "Ah."

Cinder internally grimaced as the pair glanced at her for direction. "We need to go with it or we risk losing our cover," she whispered reluctantly, "I'm sure it won't be for long."

HEY GUYS

Mercury and Emerald shared a look as Neo tapped them on the shoulder. They had gone on an errand out in the city, and she had insisted on accompanying them.

YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD DO WITH RIGHT NOW

"Stilts?" Mercury offered, only for Emerald to elbow him in the side.

"Don't provoke her," she hissed.

"Sorry," he whispered back.

I COULD DO WITH A NICE BOOK

The pair shared an uneasy glance. "Well, it's a good job there's a library," Emerald offered.

NAH, I DON'T LIKE LIBRARIES

Neo scribbled with a frown.

THE CONCEPT OF TAKING THINGS FROM PEOPLE THEN HAVING TO GIVE THEM BACK ANNOYS ME

"Agreed," Emerald muttered under her breath.

Neo gave a curious look.

SAY WASN'T THERE A GOOD BOOK SHOP IN THIS CITY GUYS

"Uh, yeah, there was," Mercury agreed nervously. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

THAT GUY DIED THOUGH DIDN'T HE, SHAME ABOUT THAT

"So he did," Mercury nodded, desperately trying to think of a way to stop her (they'd already tried taking the whiteboard. That had ended badly), "Fancy that."

Neo put a finger on her chin in a pondering gesture.

WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED GUYS

"I'm sure it doesn't matter," Emerald said quickly, "Look, there's an ice-cream truck! Let's get some ice cream! You like ice-cream, right?"

Neo's head whipped to where the green-haired thief was pointing.

HOLY MOTHERF**K

She whirled around, eyes sparkling and board held up.

GIMME ICE CREAM BITCH

Emerald and Mercury breathed a sigh of relief as the parasol-wielding menace seemed to be successfully distracted - for now.

The day later found Neo shadowing Cinder as she made her way through the campus and back to their dorm room.

HEY CINDER

Cinder spared Neo a glance out of the corner of her eye. "Yes?"

THERE'S PROFESSOR GOODWITCH

The girl gave a sufficiently awed expression as she pointed out the teacher in question.

I HEARD SHE'S A TOTAL BADASS CINDER

She looked at Cinder.

IMAGINE HAVING TO FIGHT HER

"Yes," Cinder said slightly uncomfortably, "Imagine."

WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE LIKE CINDER

"Thankfully, I'll never know," Cinder replied primly.

I BET IT WOULD BE EVEN HARDER THAN INFILTRATING THE CROSS CONTINENTAL TRANSMIT TOWER

Neo gave her a questioning look.

DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE MORE OR LESS DIFFICULT THAN DOING THAT CINDER

"I don't know," the young woman said, then, more quietly, hissed, "Shut up."

Neo reared back, clutching her heart dramatically.

TELLING A MUTE PERSON TO SHUT UP

She let her bottom lip tremble a bit.

HOW COULD YOU TORMENT A DISABLED PERSON LIKE THAT CINDER

She then wiped an imaginary tear from her eye as she flipped the board around.

ONLY AN EVIL PERSON WOULD DO THAT CINDER

"For the plan, it's for the plan, it's for the plan," Cinder repeated to herself under her breath.

"F**K THE F**KING PLAN!" Cinder screamed as she began setting fire to her immediate surroundings in an attempt to incinerate the heterochromic little pest that had been inflicted on her for the last couple of hours, "EVERYTHING DIES!"

I ONLY ASKED IF YOU THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN A CATSUIT CINDER

The ever-present board hovered in front of her, part of one of those damned illusions.

I JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU

"Shut up and stay still so I can char the flesh from your bones, you little annoyance!" Cinder blasted the area containing the board with fire. It did nothing.

THERE'S NO NEED TO GET ANGRY IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'VE GOT THE BODY FOR IT

The board flipped around of it's own accord.

AFTER ALL CINDER, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AS FABULOUS AS ME

"DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"-the third such incident in the space of a few weeks. However, this time, the attacker, one Cinder Fall, posing as a visiting member of Haven Academy for the Vytal Festival, was also revealed to be partly responsible for the sabotage that lead to the Grimm incursion of Vale several weeks ago. Haven Academy and Mistral have denied any involvement and have declared that she has no link to them in any way - government officials have also revealed that they do not believe her to be an agent of Mistral. Whatever the truth, we can all be glad that this obviously dangerous woman is now safely behind bars. This is Lisa Lavender, bidding you all a safe night."

"Don't say it," Glynda warned as she turned off the television.

"Don't say what? I wasn't going to say anything," Ozpin replied innocently.

"I know you. I know what you were about to say and if you say it, I swear you will reach escape velocity. Though I do need to ask," she paused, "What will become of Neopolitan now?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas in mind..." Ozpin leaned back in his hair as he took a sip from his coffee cup.