Chapter 16: A Terrible Burden is Lifted Off Me

(Jacob)

It was dark and I was lonely. Ever since they discovered I was magical, a wizard as Marlo put it, they stopped talking to me. It was like I didn't exist. And I hated that feeling. Because it reminded me of how worthless I was. That I was an accident.

Mum and Dad had moved me out of the room I used to share with Jasmine because they were worried I was infecting her with my disgusting worthlessness. Now my new room was the closet in the hallway.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd actual been free. It felt like forever ago. They took me to the bathroom twice a day and gave me food twice a day. And of course they made me go to school. But that wasn't a relief for me like you'd expect. It was just endless teasing. But that, well, I suppose it was better than being completely ignored.

I brought my knees up to my chest and wiped my eyes on my much too big sleeve. Crying was for babies. It's not okay to cry. It's not okay to be afraid. I learned that the hard way.

Suddenly the door opened. Jonathan didn't even make eye-contact with me, just left the door open and expected me to follow. I didn't move though. If I defied his order he'd have to look at me, right? He'd have to turn around and address me.

He had taken about five steps before he realized I wasn't follow. Then he came back, an angry look in his eyes.

It's better. I told myself. Better than being ignored.

But that was really hard to believe when a twelve year old the size of a sumo wrestler was towering over you.

Yet I still didn't move. Not because I was still trying to be defiant but because I was literally frozen with fear.

Jonathan made a face. "Pathetic," he spat, and grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me out of the closet.

I started coughing violently. I could see the thick cloud of smoke that was always floating around in our house. It made me sick every time I inhaled. But if I said that out loud I'd get a good beating.

Jonathan led me to my parent's room and practically threw me on the floor. I fell right at their feet, which made them seem ten times more intimating.

"Jacob," my father said.

I held my breath because I could smell the alcohol on his. As I tried to stand up I tripped on an empty beer can and fell back down.

"Father," I said trying to keep my voice steady.

"You're no son of mine," he snapped. He took a sip of beer and a drag of his cigarette.

I tried not to cower in his presence but I really couldn't help it. They were scary. Especially my father, or not my father I guess, if he was saying that I wasn't his son. They haunted my dreams, and when I was awake thoughts of them invaded my mind.

Finally my father spoke again. "Before I tell you what will happen I want you to know this was not my idea."

He looked like he was waiting for answer so I nodded.

"Your brother has managed to convince us that we shouldn't get rid of you. That we should keep you." He sounded absolutely disgusted by the concept of having me around. It just reinstated the worthless feeling. "You shall be allowed to live here. But you will stay out of our way, you will do whatever Jonathan says and most importantly you will not complain." When I didn't say anything he barked, "Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered.

A few seconds of awkward silence. "Well, go!"

I ran out of there like the room was on fire.

As I was running Jonathan stopped me. "I was supposed to do the dishes. You do it instead."

"But I can't even reach the sink," I protested.

"As if I care. Don't you remember Dad's rule? No complaining. Now do as I say."

And so I did the dishes. It was incredibly difficult but by climbing on the counter I was able to reach the sink. After about forty-five minutes I finished.

"What are you still doing here?" asked Jonathan when he saw me. "You have to be at school in fifteen minutes."

"You're still here," I pointed out.

"I'm getting a drive. You're walking."

I frowned. "Why can't I get a ride?"

"Cause you're like… the family maid now. And there's no way were giving you a ride."

Jonathan laughed, swung his backpack over his shoulder and left. I saw Jasmine running after him. I said bye to her but she ignored me.

I saw my mother's car pull out of the drive way. My Dad's care pulled out seconds later. He was probably going to work. Or as I called it going to the bar and doing much more drinking than working.

Now that I knew everyone was gone I let myself sink to the floor. I could feel my throat closing and the hot tears form in my eyes.

"It's not fair," I sobbed. "It's not fair."

What kind of seven year old had to deal with this? Why did I? No person, never mind a child, should be made to feel worthless by their family.

I let myself have five minutes and then I wiped the tears off my face and put on my mask, like I would so many times in the future.

It was a week after the incident, as I call it, that I found the cute little puppy.

It had been an accident in all honesty. It was more like he found me and then followed me home. I suppose I should've known better than to bring another living creature home to the people who barely wanted to keep me but I hadn't thought of that. And I shouldn't have had to think of that.

I hid him in my closet when I went to school the following day. I knew it was going to be a rough day because we had a math test. Of course I hadn't been able to study for this test because I was busy doing Jonathan's laundry.

And as if that wasn't bad enough Riley Lambert, the biggest, toughest kid in second grade made it his mission to murder me after Kim Rosemary spilt his juice box and blamed it on me.

I couldn't have been more right. I failed my math test and Riley gave me a mega wedgie in front of the whole class. I just wanted to get home to my cute fluffy puppy.

But when I got home he wasn't in the closet. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find him. I asked my family out of desperation but they just ignored me. Finally after Jasmine found me crying she told me, "Daddy sent the doggy away but don't tell him I told you."

It didn't matter though because Daddy overheard. He grabbed Jasmine and practically dragged her into my parent's bedroom. She cried a little and I felt sorry for her. My little sister, only five years old, was about to get punished for helping me.

Sure I hated my father, and I was scared to death of even being in his presence, but I choked down that fear to help my sister. Trying to make myself look big, and strong I strode into my parent's bedroom and was met with a terrifying sight.

I'll admit that none of us really know what happened that day. But to me it looked like my father was beating my five year old sister, or was about to. He had his fist raised and she was cowering in fear, tears on her face.

"Leave her alone!" I screamed loudly.

My father turned to me. "What did you say to me?"

"I said leave my little sister alone you big bully!"

My father stared at me for a moment and it was probably the most terrifying moment of my life. Then slowly he turned his head back towards Jasmine and his hand reached for his belt. Or at least I assumed it was his belt. Looking back on it I suppose it could've been his pocket.

But to me it looked like he was going to hurt my sister. And I couldn't let that happen.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I ran over to her and threw my hands up to protect us both.

I'm not really sure how it happened. I was angry I guess but I didn't mean to do anything. I mean I hadn't planned to do anything. But mean to or not, plan to or not that didn't stop the vase from flying across the room and hitting my father smack in the temple.

"I don't even know what to do with you anymore," Jonathan spat shaking his head in disgust.

I flinched at his words.

"You are so damn lucky! You turn out to be an evil magical trader, but no we still keep you. You murder our father but we still keep you. You cause endless amount of trouble at school, but what do we do? WE STILL KEEP YOU! And then you run away to your stupid magical school, get rejected there too, and want us to take you back in?"

I stood in the cold on the porch of my house. I hadn't wanted to come back here, but I kept thinking about Jasmine. I don't know how I thought to leave my seven year old sister with my abusive older brother.

"I don't want you to take me back in!" I shouted. "I loved being away from here! But I can't leave Jasmine."

Jonathan snorted. "You're a murdering liar, Jacob. You left because you're a coward. And you came crawling back here because your conscience was eating you alive. Because you're selfish."

"You are so wrong!" I argued. "I came back to save her."

Jonathan surveyed me for several minutes. The wind was cutting through my ripped dirty jeans leaving me shivering slightly. I did my best to stop, because I didn't want to show weakness but it was too late.

My brother grabbed me by the color of my shirt and forced me inside. I was suddenly having second thoughts. "You are a disgusting excuse for a human being," he snarled at me as he threw me in the closet.

I sat there for a good hour before the door opened. To my surprise it was my sister.

"You're a lying coward," she said with her arms folded.

"Jasmine-" I began but she cut me off.

"You're horrible." She shook her head in disbelief. "I looked up to you!"

I could see my sister was fighting back tears. I reached out to her, trying to giving her a comforting hug but she pulled away like I electrocuted her.

"Don't," she said warningly, the tears that I thought would spill seemed to turn into fire behind her eyes. "Don't try and defend yourself or tell me you didn't mean to. I've heard enough of that."

"But-"

She shook her head again. Then she kicked me in the ribs. I looked at my sister, towering over me the same way Jonathan had done for years. It was disturbing how much she looked like him in this moment.

"You said you'd never leave me," she practically growled. "You promised!"

"I know, but-"

She turned away from me, presumably to hide her tears. "I hate liars. And lying cowards who try and justify their crimes? Despicable."

"I'm not-"

"I want to hear you say it, Jacob. I want to hear the truth." The tears formed in her eyes again and for a split second she lowered her defenses, "Please."

"He had killed Sparky!" I reminded her. "And you had told me. He dragged you into his bedroom and he was hitting you! I couldn't stand for that. He was reaching for his belt and I stood in front of you to protect you."

My sister's face softened, slightly. "But why did you have to kill him?" she asked, her tone desperate. She didn't want to hurt me, she just wanted answers.

"I was angry and annoyed and tired of him treating us badly. I promise you, Jaz, it was an accident, but the vase just came flying from across the room and hit him in the head and…"

I trailed off because I knew if I kept speaking I was going to cry. He didn't deserve my tears, dead or not he was an ass, and if someone was going to have to get hurt better him than my sister. Besides tears were weakness and I couldn't show weakness.

I was about to speak again when Jonathan came in shaking his head. He walked towards the closet moving Jasmine so his body was now blocking my exit and most of the light.

"Your little sister was right, you are a lying coward," he said, shaking his head. Then he went down on one knee and talked to Jasmine. "Jasmine, sweetie, Jacob is lying to you. Again. He used his evil magic to kill our father simply because he felt like it. You had nothing to do with it. I mean, if he really cared about you he wouldn't have taken away your father, and left you here all by yourself while he was out having the time of his life, right?"

I stared in shock and horror and my sister's face that had been growing softer and softer stiffened again, this time into a snarl directed at me. "You. I can't believe you!"

"Jasmine why would you believe him? He's been abusing the both of us for years."

She shook her head. "He abused a killer, Jacob. He didn't touch me. Besides Jonathan never lied or broke my heart. You've done it too many times."

She turned away but Jonathan grabbed her arm. With the other hand he reached for his belt. "I hope you understand now, why I had to do this all these years."

I looked between my brother and sister, not believing what was happening. For a fraction of a second I could see pity on her face but a second later it was gone. I had probably imagined it.

"I understand completely," she said and walked towards her room. Glancing back at me, staring for a second at the weak, heap of flesh lying on the closet floor, then said, "Do your worst."

And believe me, my brother obliged.

I stared at my shoes, unwilling to look at their faces. Jasmine and Jonathan were right. I was a coward. I couldn't even look up and face what I've done. Or at least I couldn't until Jasmine strode over and forced me to look up.

"Keep what little dignity you have and hold your head high," she said to me. "You look absolutely pathetic."

I didn't respond right away. But then she gave this little half-laugh. The ones you might hear coming from the mouths of the popular snobby kids on the muggle TV shows. And that I couldn't stand.

"Keep what little dignity you have and shut your mouth," I snapped at my sister.

She turned around shocked. I had never spoken to her like that. Even when she did it to me, I couldn't. But now? Now this had gone on for too long.

"You're pathetic!" I shouted at my sister. "You walk around as if you're all innocent? Well, that's a load of bullshit. After all let's not forget who I was trying to protect when that vase cracked his skull open."

"Do not," she growled dangerously, "Turn this around on me."

"But that's what you did to me," I replied. "You let me take the fall for something that could've just as easily been your fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"We didn't know it at the time but you're a witch! It could've been your wandless magic that made the vase fly across the room, not mine!"

I knew it wasn't true. The one thing I remember clearly about that night is that I had felt a surge of power as the vase was lifted into the air. But I wanted my sister to feel pain the same way I had. I wanted her to know how it felt to be responsible for the death of someone.

"That's ridiculous," she snapped but she looked thoughtful.

Suddenly, my voice softened. "So is the idea that I would ever want to hurt you." Jasmine didn't say anything but I could see her scowl become less… scowl-y so I guess that was better than nothing. "Jaz, I hurt you. And I know that. But I can promise you that it ate me alive inside, killing Dad. And leaving you with Jonathan? The biggest mistake of my life. But I was only nine. I was scared and he isolated me as much as possible. I never forgot you were there, but he made me forget that he could hurt you too. If I had remembered that, even the scared nine year old who just wanted to get away from his abuser would have thought of some way to save you too."

I had tears in my eyes now. But unlike usual I didn't try to wipe them away. I embraced them. Because hiding from your tears, telling yourself that you were unbreakable, that you weren't allowed to- to show emotion, that wasn't okay. That was weakness. And the tears? The tears were strength. The wet streaks down my cheeks, showed more than dry cheeks ever could, that I was brave. That I was struggling, but I was accepting it. That I was facing it.

"You know, Jacob," Jasmine said, no longer looking at me but looking determinedly at the floor, "I never meant it. When I said I liked Jonathan better than you. I-"

"I know, Jasmine, I know. He got to both of us in ways-in ways that can't be put into words. We'll never be able to get rid of that. We'll never be able to forget that. But," I added pulling down the top of my shirt so that the scar, the scar that Jonathan had burned into my skin when I was eight showed. JJC. Jonathan Joseph Cadler. "Those scars don't have to affect our future. Our past may belong to him, and we can't make that back, but the future, Jaz, it's whatever you want it to be."

Jasmine pulled down her shirt as well. She touched her identical scar, and finally looked me in the eye, "It's whatever we want it to be, Jacob. Because our future will be together."

I smiled at my sister and reached out my arms to her. And for the first time in six years, my sister didn't refuse my hug.

(Albus)

"I know this was important, James, but couldn't it have waited until after lunch?" groaned Luke as he walked through the door of the class where we held our secret meetings.

"It can't wait," James insisted pacing the room. "We need to find out who the hell this Mystie girl is as soon as possible."

"Consider yourself lucky," I mumbled, "He woke up most of the Gryffindors at four in the morning to try and start this meeting."

"Shut it, Al," my brother grumbled.

After a few minutes everyone was present. James addressed the group. "As you all know we've been looking for the girl who writes the Hogwarts news which has been assaulting me and my brother. And honestly, I'm worried they're going to try to attack my sister sooner rather than later-"

The door burst open. "Try right now," said Jacob entering the room with Lily and Hugo. Roxy, Frank and Lucy followed.

Jacob threw a copy of the Hogwarts News down on the table.

The cover showed a picture of Jacob and Lily together in the library. Although you could easily tell they weren't kissing, it sort of looked that way from one angle. In the corner is said Turn to page 8 for more juicy details.

I grabbed the magazine and turned to page 8.

Jacob Cadler. Third year student, chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, star student in his classes, and a quite a good prankster. But did you know he also has a horrific past?

Jacob Cadler lived in an abusive home with his older brother and parents. He was physically, and emotionally abused both at home and at school. He-

Jacob grabbed the paper from my hand. "The next page," he said flipping to it.

Baby Cadler has a secret admirer. Lily Potter, daughter of Harry Potter, and sister to Crazy Attention Seeking James Potter, and Cheater Albus Potter, is apparently obsessed with Jacob Cadler. She has spent her last two years at Hogwarts jumping between him and another boy Liam Gardener. It seems that Lustful Lily Potter can't decide which boy she wants to seduce first.

"That's ridiculous!" I shouted slamming the magazine back on the empty desk.

"You should've stayed out if this Lily!" James snapped. "There's a reason I didn't want you back in the Resistance. I was trying to protect you."

"I don't need your protection James," she snapped back.

"Hey," Alice said calmly over both of them. "We all need to calm down. Everyone take a seat."

We all listened to Alice taking seats either on top of the desks or on various chairs.

"Now," she continued, "This is horrible news that the privacy of Lily and Jacob has been invaded. But there's nothing we can do about it. I say we focus on this meeting for now, and prevent this from happening again rather than dwelling on what can't be fixed. Okay?"

We all nodded, although James mumbled unhappily.

"Good. Now progress check; Jace, Max have you found out anything about Mr. Joe?"

"Certainly," Jace said excitedly practically jumping out of his seat. "We discovered that Joe is sending messages back and forth with Stonewell. We didn't get a chance to read any of them though."

"And he uses a different school owl each time so no one will suspect anything," added Max.

"Good," James said nodding. "Anything else?"

"He has a weird green tattoo," Jace recalled. "On his arm."

Alice and James exchanged a dark glance. They didn't say it out loud, probably for the younger students benefit, but they didn't have to cause most of us were thinking it anyway; Mr. Joe has the Dark Mark.

"That's, uh, good," James said slowly.

"Good that you found all that information," Alice corrected. "Keep looking though. You never know what you might find. And Lysander, how's the article going?"

"I wrote it. Got all the quotes and stuff before the break, edited it last week, and my Mom said it'd be published soon. Monday the latest."

"Great," Alice said, clapping her hands together. "Now for the news. We've succeeded in finding Mystie. Or at least, we think we have."

We suspect her to be a Ravenclaw in fourth year by the name of Melissa young. Lysander, Lorcan, Cassidy we need you guys to keep a look out. Tell Dylan about it too. No one else though. We don't want her to somehow find out about it. If she knows we're looking for her, she'll change into someone else. We don't even know if Melissa Young is her real identity."

I looked around the room and suddenly noticed my brother wasn't there. I peered at the door and saw it close ever so quietly.

"James, no," I muttered under my breath and dashed out after him.

James was going to go after Melissa. I just knew it. It's like he couldn't sit still for a damn minute. Wait for two seconds while we made a plan. What was he going to do, charge in there and politely demand she stop writing the Hogwarts News? Somehow whether she was Mystie or not, I didn't think that conversation would go over very well.

I was starting to run up the stairs. James couldn't have got that far… why couldn't I see him?

And then I remembered, the Ravenclaw Common Room was guarded by a riddle. There was no way James would be smart enough to answer it. But he was smart enough to know he couldn't answer it. He would need a different way in. But there wasn't one. The Common Room had one door and windows.

Windows! That was it. I turned around and darted back down the stairs. James wouldn't use the door, he'd fly through the window. A dramatic, big entrance, that's how he rolled.

I burst out onto the grounds a few minutes later and saw my brother already airborne on his broom. I dashed to the Quidditch supply closet and grabbed one of those broom since I didn't have my own with me right now. I lifted off and followed my brother. I caught up to him at the window.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled, swatting my brother's hand away from the window.

James turned to face me and I saw he had tears in his eyes. "Albus," he croaked. "I can't let it happen. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" What?" I spluttered. "James, you have nothing to be sorry for. But you're making a mistake here. You go in there and you'll just ruined everything."

James looked absolutely miserable. His face was streaked with tears and he was barely holding onto his broom. "You don't understand Albus," he cried, but quietly, like he didn't have the energy to speak, "I already have ruined everything."

"James," I said, fear in my voice. "Stop. Please. You're scaring me."

"If I don't go in and kill her," James said, his usually hazel eyes bright green, as they always were when he was incredibly sad, "Then she'll kill you and Lily." Tears streamed down James' face. He looked so broken it was almost unbearable to look at. "I-I can't watch it happen, not again, Al, not again."

Watch it happen… Code. Code was doing this to my brother. Using his Legilimency skills to make my brother see things that weren't real. He must've figured out by now that James was the weakest of the Potters kids in regards to Legilimency and he was using it to his advantage.

Don't listen to him James I told my brother in his head. You're strong. You can beat him.

"Get out of my head," James screamed now pulling at his hair.

I took a deep breath. There was no calming my brother down. I was going to have to take responsibility here. Help my brother, take care of him, the way he'd done for me for so long. So many times.

"C'mon, James," I said soothingly helping my brother off his broom. He looked at me one last time, pleadingly. It was almost impossible to say no. I just turned away and made sure my brother was holding on tight as we descended towards the ground.

I helped my brother towards the castle. Slowly he seemed to be getting a hold of himself. Slowly. I took the mostly unused corridors in attempt to avoid people. It worked for the most part and the few people we saw didn't bother us.

It didn't take long before we reached the seventh floor. I shouted the password, Licorice, at the gargoyle in front of Flitwick's office and it jumped out of the way to let us pass. I banged on the door loudly as I reached the top of the stairs.

It occurred to me that I was acting a little like James; banging down the Headmaster's door. But this was important and I would do whatever it took to help my brother.

The door opened and Flitwick frowned at us. "Can I help you, Mr. Potter?" he asked looking between me and James.

"Er, yeah. I mean, yes, please, Headmaster," I paused for a second thinking this was a bad idea. But thinking of my brother I went for it anyway, "I was wondering if we could start those meetings, for Occlumency, we were talking about before the break."

"Ah, right, of course, Mr. Potter," Flitwick replied. "I nearly forgot. What about, say Thursday-"

"No, it has to be now," I demanded. "With, ah, all due respect. Sir."

Flitwick looked at us for a very long time. He probably saw the pleading look in my eyes, the broken look on James' face and the desperation written all over both of us.

"Very well, Mr. Potter," he said slowly. "Come in."

"Thank you, Sir. You don't know how much this means to us."

"Yes, well-" Flitwick began before stopping abruptly.

Before I could process what was happening Flitwick was inside my mind. I tried to fight it, but I blacked out seconds later.

A/N: Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry! I went up to my Grandparents house and I didn't have my computer with me so I couldn't update. Hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway.

1: Next update will most likely be 29th or 30th. But I'm in school plays and we're rehearsing like crazy since performances are two weeks away so I might not have time to update in ten days. It will be 13 days tops.

2: Hope Jacob's story cleared a few things up. So Jonathan always had a reason to be a complete ass. And Jasmine was just confused. What's your opinion on the situation? Do you think Jonathan's punishments were justified? Do you think Jacob deserved to be punished at all?

3: This chapter's QotC is what's your opinion on punishment? Do you agree with things like death penalty? If someone kills someone do they deserve to die? Or is something like Jonathan's sadistic method of punishment better?

4: Jonathan finally got back at Jacob. That was him, just in case it wasn't implied. He got to Jacob and to Lily, even while their at school.

"Scars tell us where we've been, they don't have to dictate where we're going," Harrison Scott, Criminal Minds.

Will Jacob ever forgive himself? Will Jasmine ever forgive Jacob? Will justice be served? Is Melissa Young really Mystie? Will the newspaper ever leave the Potters alone? Will James and Al learn Occlumency?

-Monkeywoman14