A/N: Hey, dear readers! No artwork today again because I had no time to finish it. Don't worry - It will be there until the next update, like always :)

Thanks for being with me :)

Just a little note: flashbacks will be in italic :)

EDIT 27.04.2013: Thanks to JordanMathias, there's a small fix in bold. :D

Credits:

Portuguese Beta: Rohh Lael

English Beta: wintryone

Disclaimer: Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware.

Chapter 15

Always

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"There must be something we can do!" Kallian said thoughtfully, holding Mahariel's hand tightly. The Dalish looked at her with a confused and suspicious expression, but deep inside the small gesture calmed her heart a little. Noah laid her head carefully on the ground and stood, moving away from them.

"The Joining! Of course!" Kallian suddenly exclaimed, her face lighting up. "It was Duncan's plan: to make her go through the Joining because it was the only way to save her!" Kallian said, remembering the conversation with Duncan in the Dalish camp.

"Wait..." Noah said, crossing his arms against his chest. "You're not planning to recruit her, are you?" He frowned, growling through his clenched teeth.

"Yes, that's it," Kallian replied firmly, recognizing his tone of voice – there was a storm coming.

"You will not recruit her." He said sharply, pointing a finger at her.

"What do you suggest then? Leave her to die?" Kallian felt Mahariel clutching her hand weakly. She returned the grip, giving a reassuring look towards her.

"She ran away!" Noah growled, raising his hands up in disgust. "She was given a choice, and she turned her back on us, when we most needed her! I don't want a coward like her watching my back!"

"She went through a lot!" Kallian snapped, rising indignantly.

"She's been through a lot?" Noah laughed dryly, without humor. "I went through a lot! Her problems are nothing compared to my problems."

"Nothing?" Kallian asked, narrowing her eyes. Anger began to rise in her chest. "Who do you think you are to measure the pain of others?" She walked toward him with clenched fists at her sides. "You think you were the only one who went through your own personal hell before you got there?"

"What I think is that you have no idea what you're talking about," he growled.

"Yes, I have!" Kallian growled back. "You have no right to scorn the pain of the others, much less to judge the way they react to it!"

"She RAN AWAY!" He shouted, punching a tree to keep him from hitting her.

"It's easy to talk about others, but you have become an arrogant and selfish jerk who thinks that he knows everything, but all you did was lock yourself inside your bloody noble shell and complain all the time!" She yelled back.

"Yeah, said the one that cannot even be alone in the dark for half a minute before shaking like a child!" He countered, higher than her. To Kallian, it was like he had slapped her face. It was a hit below the belt, but she was not willing to let him remain on top for long.

"My personal life does not interfere in my work," she said a few octaves down. "Unlike you, I don't mix the two!You are allowing your selfishness interfere with your duty as a Grey Warden!" She rubbed her chin, walking in small circles. "Incidentally, they are interfering in your humanity as well!"

"And you want to talk to me about humanity?" He crossed his arms dismissively.

"Humanity is not a matter of have these or not," She pointed to her own ears. "It has to do with this," She pointed emphatically to her own chest, in the direction of her heart. "By the Void you're suggesting that we leave a person to die! Have you ever stopped to listen to what you're saying?"

Noah opened his mouth to respond, but this time, it was her word that slapped his face. It was not just a matter of pride - it was worse, deeper and disgusting. Who did he think he was? The Maker himself, to decide who lived and who died?

He put his hand on his forehead, slowly sliding it down his face, digesting the whole situation. His heart was pounding loudly, not because of anger but from a stronger feeling - the guilt, replacing the blood in his veins.

Damn, I'm acting just like Howe did, he thought, now angry at himself for letting the rage speak in his place. He slid his hand back to his forehead, rising to the top of his head, holding his hair back.

The look on Mahariel's face didn't make him feel any better. She was more than a cowardly elf, a tree-hugger, in some ways she was just like him - someone who was suffering, and who was frightened of this agonizing pain. Worse still was that her fate was being decided by strangers that she'd been taught to fear her entire life.

As much as Kallian wanted to continue to throw other truths at his face, she said nothing. She could clearly see the turmoil of feelings written over his face. They had talked so many times these last days that she could tell by his expression when he was seriously considering the facts or simply thinking about a smart answer to infuriate her. She waited for two long minutes, which seemed like an eternity, until he spoke again.

"Okay, take the blood then, Templar boy," Noah said slowly, his eyes closed. His raspy voice was back to his normal tone. "We just need the blood, right?"

"Yes," said Alistair, searching for one empty water bottle inside his bag, to use as a vial for the blood. "And a few drops of the liquid inside your pendants."

"Let me make myself clear, first," Noah said, raising a hand in protest. "If she survives, she will be on her own."

"Pardon?" Kallian said, putting her hands on her hips. Here we go again, she thought.

"I don't trust her to protect my back," Noah repeated slowly, emphasizing each word.

"And what makes you more trustworthy than her?" Kallian asked, feeling anger touching her heart again. If the Maker really exists, only he knew how costly it was to her to keep her composure.

"I did not run away," Noah said as if it were obvious.

"Big deal!" She uncrossed her arms and began to walk in circles while using her fingers to enumerate the facts. "You don't care, every time we talk to you, you just ignore us, and the only thing you have done lately is walk behind us like a ghost: No opinion, no contribution, regardless of everything!"

"I thought you just said that it was not decent to judge how people react to their problems," Noah snapped sarcastically, dropping his head to the side and raising his eyebrows, as a form of provocation.

"I'm telling you the facts," said Kallian, losing the rest of her patience.

"Since we are talking about facts, tell me a situation where I have failed with you," Noah growled, crossing his arms. Kallian stayed silent. As much as he acted like a jerk all this time, what he said was true - he had never failed with the group. "Then? Tell me when I failed in fighting by your side. I'm waiting."

"Maybe you have a point," Kallian admitted grudgingly. "But that does not change the fact that she will stay, whether you like it or not!"

"And since when have you started making the decisions?"

"Since I ended up being the only one who cares!" Kallian took a deep breath, trying futilely to calm down. Since they left Flemeth's hut, nobody seemed to have an opinion about anything. Not only the small matters were ignored, but the important decisions were as well. Noah was the first to refuse every responsibility and now he wanted to talk about group stuff? No way, she thought. "Let's do it," she said to Alistair, who nodded. She turned to walk toward Mahariel but Noah stopped her, grabbing her arm harder than necessary.

"We're not done yet!" Noah growled.

"We're not done yet, little brat!" The guard said, grabbing her arm so tightly that she felt like her bones would break. Seeing that the elf wasn't willing to drop the little hands of her brother, he punched her hard on her back once, twice, enough times to break her ribs.

Kallian hated it when humans touched her. Their hands were made for hurting, to bring pain to innocents. They were always hurting someone.

"Kali…" The boy coughed weakly, trying to break free from their kidnapper, but it was useless – the humans had broken his legs with the same brutality the guard used beating Kallian. "Hands off my sister, your son of a...!"

Before he could finish his sentence, the one grabbing Kallian's arm punched him hard in his face.

"Damn, Theodore! I need him alive!" The mage exclaimed, furiously, still holding the boy by his neck.

"Fen…!" Kallian sobbed, feeling her brother's grip loosening slightly.

Memories that she wanted desperately to forget were playing in her mind again, triggering feelings that she so carefully tried to restrain deep inside her heart.

"We'll make it, Kali…" The boy whispered, looking at her. His golden eyes showed a fierce determination as he told her his last words, "I will take you home, even…" He coughed as the blood started to enter in his lungs. "Even if it's the last thing I ever do…I will protect you!"

"Shut up, brat!" The guard punched him again, this time in his stomach. Kallian felt him losing strength, but she didn't let his hand drop.

"She is only a kid, for Andraste's sake!" The mage exclaimed, kicking her in the face. Finally, she dropped her brother's hand, defeated. Her nose and her mouth were bleeding, just like her heart. She was beaten, but her eyes were still strong, looking sharply at the human in front of her. "I've changed my mind," He said with an evil smile crossing his lips. "Tie the girl on the table. We're going to use her instead of the boy."

"What made you change your mind so quickly?" The guard asked. "I thought you said he was stronger than her."

"He is," The mage answered, still staring at Kallian.

"I don't know, boss," The guard punched Kallian's ribs again when he noticed her attempt to get closer to her brother. "I don't think she'll last too long."

"Neither do I, but I am curious to see if she will still wear Adaia's haughty eyes after I'm done with her." The guard nodded, dragging her by her arm over the stone floor of the room towards the door.

Kallian couldn't control herself and slapped his face.

"Lay a finger on me again," said Kallian between her teeth, shaking off his grasp. "And I swear, in the name of whatever god you want, I'll kill you." She said slowly, looking deeply into his eyes. Noah saw a flame burning strong in her look, a different glow of rage and resentment that was slowly consuming her pacific nature.

It seemed that she was looking, not at him, but at someone completely different. And for the first time, he could feel that she was serious.

She meant it.

"If she wants to stay, she will stay," Kallian continued, approaching Noah. "And if you're not satisfied," She slapped hard the chest of his armor, making the cracked metal creak loudly "Go away. If you don't want to do this, just go away!" She pointed at the road. "Grab your belongings and get out of here!"

"Is that so? Is your situation so great you can afford to choose your allies like this?" Noah responded, so distracted by her surprising reaction that he hardly noticed the sting her hand left on his face.

"It is true that the Grey Wardens need all the help they can get," Kallian said, taking some steps backwards. "However, if it means having more problems than solutions, then I prefer to travel with one less." She turned around, breathing deeply a few times before finishing. "You're not a bad person, Noah, and I'd really rather have you around. But if you're not willing to help, then do me a favor and stop making things worse."

None of them said anything for several long minutes. Morrigan watched from afar, amazed by the distraction. Alistair had collected the blood of one of the Darkspawn's bodies, and waited near Mahariel, apprehensive. He didn't know what to do - whether to intervene or not. He wanted to stop them from killing each other but, on the other hand, he was afraid that his actions could trigger an even worse situation. The young Templar had helped the Dalish to stand, and now she was using all her strength to try to keep firmly in place. Despite the fever and the pain, she wanted to, at least stand on her own, since she had no power to participate into the discussion.

"Morrigan," Kallian called, her voice a little more controlled, although there was still a trace of the angry tone she had been using moments ago. "I saw a river not far from there while we were fleeing. I want you to go there and see if it's safe to set camp there, please."

"As you wish," Morrigan said, turning into a big, beautiful brown wolf with golden eyes – the same one from earlier.

"If by any chance we are separated," Kallian added, "We'll meet here in an hour." The wolf nodded once, quickly disappearing from sight.

"Alistair, can I count on you to help me with this?" Kallian asked, looking at him with a hint of anticipation.

"Yeah, sure," Alistair replied, relieved that the tempers had calmed down by at least a little.

"Great, let's get out of the road then," she said, taking one last look at Noah before passing by him, going in the opposite direction of where Morrigan went.

"Do you need some help? I can lend you a shoulder or two, if you want." Alistair smiled, offering his hand. She pulled away slightly.

"I can do it, I still have my pride," Mahariel replied softly, walking slowly. Alistair followed closely, just in case. He was impressed by her willpower – any other person corrupted like her would be dead by now. And there she was, finding strength to walk.

Noah took a deep breath, not knowing what to do. Part of him wanted to disappear – leave them on their own as she'd wished. He felt annoyed, challenged, and that part of his mind wanted to send them all to hell.

Another part was consumed by guilt, because of his selfishness and uncontrollable pride over accept someone like her in the group.

Cowards - his life was filled with them. Howe was one of them. A treacherous coward who stabbed his family's trust like it was nothing. But despite Howe being majorly responsible for all the hatred accumulated inside his heart, it was not him who Noah had remembered in that moment, but an episode of his past that deeply changed him.

More than just a discussion, it was a clash of memories - a way of cashing in the other source of their personal problems.

Anyway, there was still a small part of him, lost between the other two, that was attached to the duty of the Wardens and to the oath he'd made in Ostagar.

Moreover, if he left now, there would be no difference between him and the Dalish - He would turn his back on the ones that were counting on him, when they most needed him. He did not want to be like her. And most importantly, he did not want to be like him.

Noah needed to think. He needed space. It was too much to consider at once.

He started walking toward the road. Kallian watched from the corner of her eye, without turning her head. Deep inside, she was disappointed to find that he was leaving, even knowing that she already expected that. She sighed deeply, before vanishing into the woods.

Mahariel, stumbled while she was crossing the road, losing her stamina once more. Again, Noah ran to her, catching the Dalish before she could touch the ground.

She was so small.

She was trembling, too. She didn't dare to look up, afraid he would end her suffering with his own hands, here and now. And that made Noah felt horrible. Alistair tried to approach them, but he'd retreated when he realized that Noah was just helping her to get back to her feet. He closed his eyes, letting his heart speak instead of the whirlwind of thoughts that were affecting his judgment.

"Live," he whispered close to her ear, only for her to hear. "I do not want the weight of your death on my back, so ..." He paused, looking into her eyes and put his hands on her shoulders. "Survive and throw it in my face later."

They looked at each other for a while, until he continued walking. Alistair, realizing she was getting worse, placed one of her arms over his shoulders, holding her waist to help her walk, even against her protests, to where Kallian went.

"I need you to stay awake," Kallian said to Mahariel, who sat propped against a tree. Kallian chose a glade, similar to where they camped the day before – the only difference was that there are no big rocks and large canopy trees protected them. The redhead was holding the canteen, facing down the Dalish, who was staring at her intently, absorbing every word with ferocity. Mahariel knew nothing about this elf that was in front of her, but she could save her life, so her focus was intent on understanding Kallian's instructions.

Then she nodded.

"This is Darkspawn blood," Alistair said, standing by Kallian's side. "It is the source of our power. Gives us immunity to the taint and allows us to feel their presence," he added. Some words are shuffled, but she was able to follow his reasoning.

"It's your cure," Kallian said more slowly, making sure she was following. "But it can also be your doom, because the blood can kill you. The choice is yours."

"I'm dying," said Mahariel, hoarse and almost mute. She no longer recognized her own voice. "I accept."

Kallian looked at Alistair, who just nodded, repeating the same words that are spoken since the time of the first Grey Wardens. Mahariel drank the promise, absorbing every word. After all, it could be her last.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Kallian said, lifting the canteen to the Dalish's mouth. She drank the cold and thick liquid with difficulty, starting to regret her choice when it started to burn inside her mouth.

Mahariel thought the pain she'd felt with the fever was bad, but after this, she was missing the corruption crises. She felt as if her veins would explode, as if every inch of her body were fighting against each other to see which part burned with greater intensity. Perhaps the fact that she already was carrying the taint had worsened the process, but the truth was that she had fainted even before her head had hit the ground. Not to mention the sound, the mesmerizing song that was the theme of her transformation.

Kallian held her body so she would not fall hard against the ground. She looked at Alistair, her eyes full of expectation.

"She'll live," he replied smiling after checking the pulse in her throat.

Kallian gave a long sigh of relief, throwing her back against the hard ground, feeling the weight on her shoulders evaporating. Alistair sat beside her, smiling to see that she began to laugh softly.

It was impossible for him to keep serious with her beautiful, pure laughter filling his ears.

"What?" She asked excited, feeling all the tension and anger disappear at once.

"Nothing." He shook his head, still smiling. "It was pretty admirable, fighting for your friend like this," he said, leaning against his arms.

"Friend? No. I hardly know her," she replied, looking up to the sky.

"Really?" He asked, eyes widened with surprise. "You stuck your neck out for someone you don't even know?"

"You might say so," she replied, turning her head to face him.

She has a beautiful smile, he thought, forgetting for a moment what they were talking about.

He shook his head when he realized that he was staring, clearing his throat before asking, "Why?"

"Because I promised to her best friend that I would take care of her." Kallian replied, remembering Merrill. The little Dalish was so sad and scared when she whispered those words during the farewell... She sighed, closing her eyes to prevent him from seeing the emotion in her eyes.

"So, that's the answer?" Alistair asked, sitting up.

"I do not have an answer to your question, Alistair. It was the right thing to do," she replied, sitting too. "Answer me this: Could you let someone die knowing that you have the power to save her? Could you be okay with yourself?"

"I think I understand what you mean," he answered truthfully. "But that doesn't diminish what you did. You're a good person, you know?"

Kallian analyzed him closely before answering. Person, she thought. It was so strange hearing the sound of that word coming from a human's mouth.

Before she could answer, however, Alistair exclaimed, "Maker, I thought you two were going to kill each other!"

"Me too..." She replied, staring at the ground. It all happened so fast that she hadn't know what she was doing - she was just reacting. The truth is that Kallian only became truly aware of what she was doing when they all were silent, moments before she gave that order to Morrigan.

Noah overreacted - first throwing her problem in her face, then grabbing her arm. As much as she was a reasonably controlled person, she could not imagine herself reacting differently.

And she would do it again, no regrets.

After a long silence, Alistair asked, "Do you think Noah will come back?"

"I don't know. Hopefully yes," replied Kallian, running a hand through her hair. "If not, we will lose a good warrior..."

"And his flying sword!" He said in a playful tone, standing up.

Kallian laughed, not because he was talking nonsense, but because as absurd as it was, it was true. "Yeah, and his flying sword…"

"Let's find the camp?" He asked, extending his hand to her.

"It's about time. She needs to rest." She said, taking his hand and standing. With the move, she could almost feel all her bones ache. "And, apparently, us too..."

"I agree," he said with a grimace as he stirred his neck, feeling the bones creak.

"Look," she began getting serious again. "Thanks for your help. Really."

"No need to thank me," he replied, holding Mahariel in his arms. "We're in this together – You can count on me, always." Alistair smiled one last time, before leaving a confused elf behind.

Always, huh? She thought, before following them towards the camp.

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