A/N: I decided the events of the RWBY panel at RTX could really do with some proper commentary and reaction. So here, have a fourth-wall breaking omake number two! After a long wait.
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY. Rooster Teeth owns RWBY.
Recent announcements had caused somewhat of a stir in Beacon academy. The leaked tournament footage had been one thing, and the sudden appearance of legendary Huntsman Qrow Branwen and Weiss Schnee's rather distinctive older sister Winter had also come up on the rumour mill - and one particular self-appointed monarch had her finger on the pulse when it came to the rumour mill. It was where she got most of her ammunition, after all.
PERRY
Neo eyed her disgruntled slave - er, loyal retainer.
"Yes... Queen... Neo?"
I NEED TO MAKE A VISIT TO BEACON
Neopolitan leaned back in her recliner, tapping a finger against her chin thoughtfully.
FIND SOMEONE CLEVER TO RUN THIS CRAP WHILE I'M GONE
"You don't even run it anyway," Perry replied, "You make everyone else run it for you while you sit around thinking up new ways to annoy people."
THEN YOU PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DOING WHAT I'M TELLING YOU TO DO
She smiled happily.
IT'S GREAT WHEN YOUR UNDERLINGS SHOW INITIATIVE PERRY
Perry sighed. "All right," he said, "But what are you going to visit Beacon for?"
Neo's eyes glinted.
WHY, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE LATEST GOSSIP WITH SOME GOOD FRIENDS, OF COURSE
HEY RUBY
Ruby blinked as words decidedly different to the ones she was writing, or supposed to be writing, appeared in her notebook, and turned to the perpetrator.
"Neo? What are you doing back here?"
I CAME TO VISIT MY BEST FRIENDS, OF COURSE
Yang's face went white with horror, while Blake palmed her forehead and prayed silently for endurance. Weiss twitched slightly.
SO RUBY, YOU MUST THINK YOUR UNCLE QROW IS PRETTY COOL, RIGHT
Ruby nodded. "Of course I do! Uncle Qrow is the coolest."
THEN IT MUST HAVE KIND OF SUCKED TO LEARN THAT LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD AGREES WITH YOU RUBY
A pause.
BECAUSE YOUR TEAM MATE HAS A HOT SISTER
Ruby frowned. "What do you mean?"
LOOK IT UP RUBY
Ruby's scroll went off. Looking at the message, and, naively, clicked on the attached link.
Fan-art. So much fan-art. Different outfits, different poses, different words, different backgrounds - but all the same person. Weiss' older sister. Ruby looked at the search parameter.
'Cool people'
"W-well... I don't care what other people say. I think Uncle Qrow is really cool," Ruby stammered, looking crestfallen.
"Ignore her, Ruby," Weiss said calmly, "We know what she's like by now."
OH YEAH IT'S THE RACIST
Neo looked positively gleeful.
SO RACIST, IT'S KIND OF IRONIC HUH
Weiss gave her an unimpressed look. "What is?"
THAT YOUR SISTER IS CALLED WINTER
She gave a look of innocent curiosity.
BUT SHE GOT ALL THE HOT GENES
Weiss' right eye began to twitch.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN BAD ENOUGH BEING COMPARED TO YANG IN THE BUST DEPARTMENT, RIGHT RACIST
Neo nodded seriously.
BUT BEING COMPARED TO A PAIR OF BOOBS WHICH ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING USEFUL ATTACHED TO THEM MUST BE SO MUCH WORSE
Weiss jumped to her feet. "I don't care! I DON'T CARE! I DON'T!" she shouted as she stormed out of the room.
Neo brushed a little bit of imaginary dirt off her shoulder. She then turned her attention to easier targets.
SO YANG
"What do you want now, you little menace."
I WAS KIND OF CONCERNED THAT THE FOOTAGE OF THE TOURNAMENT WAS FAKE
She put on a worried face.
BUT THEN THEY GOT TO THE PART WITH YOU IN IT AND YOU WERE GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED BY SOME NOBODY
She nodded to herself.
SEEMS LEGIT YANG
"I WILL BREAK YOU IN THE EVERYTHING!" Yang roared, before a joint effort from Gambol Shroud and Crescent Rose swiftly knocked her unconscious.
"Sorry Yang," Ruby said to the motionless form of her sister apologetically, "But we only just fixed our room."
"Why are you even here, Neo?" Blake sighed wearily, "Don't you have other people to pester? Or an army of really annoying people to run?"
AS IF THE LIKES OF YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THE INTRICACIES OF RUNNING A PARANNOYANCE ORGANISATION
"You've just made that word up."
I'M THE QUEEN. I MAKE UP WHATEVER THE F*** WORDS I WANT
Neo nodded contentedly, assured in the superiority of her argument.
ALTHOUGH SEEING YOU HAS REMINDED ME BLAKE
She put on a thoughtful look.
WHY ARE YOU THE BUTT OF SO MANY CAT-RELATED JOKES
She tapped her chin.
IT MAKES ONE CURIOUS BLAKE
"Yeah," Blake said nervously, "Imagine that. I couldn't explain it."
I SUPPOSE YOU MUST BE A BIG CAT PERSON
"Must be," Blake nodded, sweating.
"Yeah," Ruby agreed quickly, "Everyone knows how Blake loves cats."
"Speaking of which," Blake grasped for an excuse, "I needtogoandfeedonenowsobye!"
She raced out the door.
Ruby found herself alone in a room with the Technicolour Terror. She stared in apprehension, much like a rabbit frozen in fear at the sight of a large predator.
Neo gave her a curious smile.
That was all it took. Ruby ran from the room screaming.
Neo looked around at the empty room. Well, empty save for the unconscious Yang.
WELL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED I GUESS
She mulled over what to do next.
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD GO FIND THAT JAUNE KID NEXT
She nodded in affirmation of the new plan.
I KNOW I'LL BE ABLE TO GET HIS TEAM-MATES TO MURDER HIM FOR SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT SOON
Silently cackling, she disappeared from the empty room. To new locations... and new victims.
But not before taking advantage of the literal golden opportunity lying at her feet.
Yang's scream of incomprehensible rage when she found she was now sporting a bowl-cut soon became legendary in Beacon school history.