Bo stepped out of the bathroom in her towel to get her uniform. She glanced at Lauren with a clenched jaw. A tense silence filled the air between them. Lauren lowered her eyes and played with her fingers. When Bo didn't say anything, Lauren rose from the bed and approached her slowly.

"Bo, can we talk?" Lauren asked, and Bo turned away and focused on the mirror in front of her, without responding. With a sigh, Lauren wrapped her arms around her body and pressed her face into Bo's exposed back. It was still wet from her shower.

After savoring the feeling of Bo's skin, for a second, she added. "Bo, what do you want me to say?" She whispered against Bo's skin.

Bo scoffed and didn't answer, her body flinching with frustration.

Lauren sighed again and lightly brushed her lips across her back. "I love you. We're together. Isn't that enough? Why isn't it enough?" She gave Bo a soft touch down her arm.

Bo pulled back away from her embrace. "Why can't you just say the words, that you want us forever?"

"I do…I want us. But there's too much going on, a forever commitment would be a mistake, right now. It's not the right time." Lauren explored Bo's eyes for some hint of understanding but found none.

"Is there ever a perfect time?" Bo crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the dresser.

"I guess not…" Lauren faltered, giving herself time to find the right words. "But…why this push, can't we just focus on being together? That's what I want to go back to the way it was before."

"I want to marry you." Bo declared abruptly, looking Lauren squarely in the eyes.

"I…Bo…" She halted, stiffness in her voice, automatically moving further back from Bo. The direct declaration caught her off guard. She wasn't sure what to say.

Bo exhaled in irritation, anger boiling inside of her. "Why is that so bad, that I want to marry you? I love you. I want this relationship. Can you say the same?"

Lauren's face was pleading, and she glanced around the room with tears pricking her eyes. "I want to marry you…eventually but we can't…not now." She held Bo's eyes when she finished.

"Why because of one fucking mistake? A mistake that happened when we were on a break!" She demanded, suddenly furious at Lauren, anger that she'd been suppressing for a long time came forward in a flash.

"Bo, we need to rebuild our relationship, that takes time. Why can't we simply take some time to do that? That's all I'm asking." Lauren spoke in a low voice; she was barely able to hear it as her heart pounded in her chest and ears.

The softest in Lauren's voice briefly neutralized the anger coursing through Bo. "I'm not interested in rebuilding this relationship," She paused when her voice cracked, she swallowed away her nerves. "if you don't want to marry me."

Lauren glared at her and also crossed her arms over her chest. "Is that an ultimatum? Marry you or else? You can't be serious." She said with the slightest hint of frustration in her voice, almost angry, no longer keeping it gentle or soft.

After a few seconds of strained silence, Bo finally stepped closer to Lauren. "No, I'm just being honest. I want to build a life with you. I want to move on from all this baggage."

"We have a life together." Lauren snapped back, not holding back her anger.

"I need more," Bo answered, keeping her eyes on the space between them.

"Why?" Lauren asked sharply. In truth, she was perplexed as to why it had to be now, of all times, it wasn't the right time. Bo had to know, deep down, that it wasn't the right time.

"Because I'm ready."

"And if I'm not? You can't dictate when I'm ready to get married. This is a relationship of two not one."

They fell silent again, Bo stared at Lauren with frustration, and Lauren matched her look.

"I don't know, Lauren, maybe you were right all along we need time apart."

Lauren gaped in disbelief. "Damn it, Bo. I want to marry you, I'm only saying let's wait a little longer." She uncrossed her arms and walked to the other side of the room. "I can't believe you are pulling the marry me now, or we break up card."

Bo grimaced, feeling regretful that it was coming off that way. "No, that's not it. You don't know what you want. You need to figure that out."

"I will not be pushed into marriage before I'm ready and when have I not been hundred percent committed to this relationship? I've never given you any reason to doubt my love or commitment."

"Besides your break," Bo muttered through gritted teeth, and a hard expression.

"Right. And I remained committed to our love even then." She turned away, quickly wiping away a few tears. "Even when Evony kissed me, all I thought about was you, and not wanting to hurt you."

"When did she kiss you?" Bo tilted her hand curiously, waiting, staring at Lauren's back.

A lingering stillness fell around them, and Lauren held her breath. "Never mind it was meaningless." She said at last, slowly turning around to face Bo.

Bo's eyebrows rose. "I disagree. If it were nothing, you would have told me." She suddenly became aware of the time and starting dressing, but kept her eyes on Lauren.

"You got shot! You almost died. When was I supposed to tell you?"

"Um, I don't know maybe in the four weeks since, you've had plenty of time." Bo's outraged expression turned suspicious. She walked to the dresser, pulling out a bra and matching underwear and slipped them on.

"I didn't sleep with her," Lauren answered indignantly, watching Bo dress.

"No, you only lied about it." Bo marched towards Lauren, wearing only her bra and underwear, her hands firm on her hips.

Lauren watched her approach. "I didn't lie." She looked away and focused on the floor.

Bo scoffed. "Yeah, you kind of did." She took large steps away from Lauren and grabbed her uniform off the hook. "Forget space we need to break up." She scowled and instantly wished she could snatch the words back. She froze with her back to Lauren.

Lauren's stomach lurched and she felt like all her breath was pulled from her body. "Over a kiss?" She asked after a deep calming breath. "When I stopped before it went further?"

Bo slowly turned to face Lauren, tears falling down her face. "No, because you don't know what you want. And because you kept it from me, which is its own kind of lie."

Lauren chewed on her bottom lip and looked away. "You don't throw someone away because of one mistake. That's not how love works."

"Is it better to stay with someone and punish them nonstop for one mistake?"

Lauren's head jerked up to stare at Bo. "I asked for time, which you couldn't give me. You agreed to give me space, but you never did, you pushed and pushed before I was ready, before I had time to process everything."

Bo threw her hands in the air and pulled on her clothes. "I'm done taking all the blame. Have all the space you want."

Lauren silently watched as Bo finished getting into her uniform and she moved to the mirror tying her hair back. "If it's over then it's over for good, Bo. I won't come back. This is a forever decision." There was a distressed, imploring look in Lauren's eyes when their gazes crossed.

Bo swallowed hard; her stomach ached at the thought of leaving Lauren, of breaking up. "I understand. I love you enough to give you what you need. I have to let you go because you can't let me go."

"So, you would just throw away our entire relationship, just like that?" Lauren's sadness momentarily cleared then was replaced by a confused and frustrated expression.

"Lauren, this kills me, but I know it's what you need."

"You don't know what I need." Lauren didn't want to believe this was happening, she couldn't believe it. After all, over the last few weeks they'd been enthralled with each other, things were getting better. Now Bo wanted to break up, after everything, she couldn't understand.

Bo frowned and focused on pulling on her boots. "I guess not. Maybe that's the problem."

Lauren wrapped her arms around her body trying to shield herself from the hurt she felt and stood stiffly. "I want to keep trying….please," She veered her teary eyes to the ground. "I don't want this." She tried to keep control over her voice and body, and not break down crying as she wanted.

Silence descended on them for several long moments. Two parts of Bo were warring within her: the one that was angry that Lauren didn't know what she wanted and the other that pulled apart at the thought of being away from her. She was genuinely conflicted about what to do or say next.

Bo stared at Lauren, taking in the hurt on her face, and all Bo's anger dissipated. "Lauren…I…don't want to break up." She breathed out, and Lauren lifted her head to meet her eyes. "I don't know…let's just take another break so I can prove to you I can remain committed. It'll be better this time, as long as we both know the rules. We can be on a break, and I won't sleep with anyone else."

"We tried a break." Lauren quickly brushed a tear off her cheek. "I don't want a break, and I don't want to break up." She took a few cautious steps towards Bo. "I want to stay together, and work through it." Not waiting for a response, she cupped the sides of Bo's face, pressed in for a kiss. For a moment, they allowed themselves to revel in the union of their embrace. There was an urgency driving them to kiss deeper, hold each other tighter.

Bo gripped her shoulders, gently pushing her back to break the kiss. "I…can't keep doing what we're doing…" She rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't know what to do. I feel like you need to be away from me, you can't forgive me, but the thought of not being with you…" She sighed, hopelessly. "I guess I'm not strong enough to let you go either." She slumped onto the bed and hanging her head down.

Lauren hovered over Bo and trailed her fingers through Bo's hair. "Come here." She said softly, and Bo lifted her head and buried her face into Lauren's stomach. They held each other for a long time, without speaking.

"We can make it work. We'll figure out a way, we always do." Lauren said, and Bo sighed into her stomach, holding her closer.

Bo peered up at her and frowned. "You really think we can overcome this?"

"I think we can, because we love each other. But if we break up now, it's all for nothing."

"I never purposely hurt you, Lauren," Bo said, her expression was full of regret.

Lauren knelt down in front of Bo. "I know." She closed her eyes and kissed her forehead. "What if we spend some time together, just the two us?" She paused when Bo looked at her confused. "I don't start my new job for a month, and you're still on leave. What if we took a trip together, just us, away from school, work, family, friends? We've never done that before." She ran her fingers up and down Bo's leg.

"All our problems will still be here when we get back."

"Well…honestly, you're probably right, but time away, together not apart, could…give us the chance to work through some of those problems. Here, our lives are too busy, and it's always been that way since the beginning."

Bo nodded and contemplated her words unable to resist the heartfelt look on Lauren's face. "Where we would go?" She finally asked.

"My parents own a cabin about 6 hours from here. You could spend a week there just the two of us."

"Like a couples retreat?" Bo gave Lauren a puzzled look.

"Yeah. And maybe it'll give us a new perspective on our relationship. Force us to focus on us without any distractions."

Bo studied Lauren's face a few minutes while considering everything. A smile grew on her face, and she leaned into Lauren's body. "Ok. Let's do it. Of course, you're right." She kissed Lauren's cheek. "You're always right, we need to keep trying. I won't give up."

Lauren leaned back to look at Bo. "It's not a sex vacation, you realize." She joked, to break the tension.

Bo kept her smile. "Surely, there'll be some…" She teased back.

They pulled each other into a hug. "We can't give up on each other until we try everything," Lauren said into Bo's chest.

Bo lowered her lips to Lauren's ear. "I love you."

Seconds later, their lips met in another kiss; they poured all their vulnerability, love, frustration into the kiss, the passion of the kiss matched the depth of their shared emotions, and they stayed like that for a long time, not wanting the kiss to end.

XXXXX

Bo and Lauren entered the large hall, Bo wearing her uniform, Lauren a white dress. Lauren glanced around the room, many around her wore identical uniforms to Bo. Blue was everywhere.

Dyson strolled up to them, wearing his uniform and a smile. "I'm here sober, and ready." He nudged Lauren's shoulder. "Congratulations, partner," He said to Bo. "Keep getting shot and maybe you'll get enough promotions to have the Captain's job one day."

Bo rolled her eyes. "Haha. I'm glad that you find this so funny. Me getting shot and all."

Dyson shrugged and gave Bo a chummy pat on the back. "I'm here for you partner." His faced suddenly turned serious. "You were stupid, Bo, going there alone, but no one can deny that you're one brave cop. You deserve to be recognized for that."

"Thanks, Dyson," Bo said, taken aback briefly by his statement, she still felt guilty about everything she'd put him through.

"Where's Tamsin?" Lauren asked, glancing around the room.

Dyson laughed and pointed to the back corner, where a nervous Tamsin stood alongside several uniformed cops, talking, her arms wrapped around her body, her eyes wide.

"She looks miserable," Lauren said, turning back to face Dyson.

Dyson shrugged. "I thought I'd let her suffer a little longer before rescuing her from our dull colleagues."

"That's mean."

"It's payback for her making me watch these horrible horror movies. She has the worst taste in movies." He held Lauren's shoulder dramatically. "They're from the seventies and on VHS…VHS Lauren. They're not even good enough to go on DVD. What does that tell you?"

"I don't even want to know."

"Exactly." He glared at an uncomfortable Tamsin. "Payback."

Lauren looked back and forth between Tamsin and Dyson. "You two have the strangest relationship."

Dyson gave her a knowing look and veered her eyes to Bo, without another comment.

They chatted a moment before Dyson rushed off to get Tamsin, and Bo and Lauren stood in silence.

Bo watched the room, and Lauren kept her eyes on Bo. She brushed her fingers over the uniform. "You look good in this uniform, I haven't seen you wear it in a long time. It's nice."

Bo turned and smiled, and looked Lauren up and down. "You don't look so bad yourself." Bo rested her hands on Lauren's waist, then slowly slid down to her hips.

All of sudden, Harvey Dennis and a parade of people surrounded them. "Bo." He clapped his hands together and hugged her, pulling her away from Lauren. "I'm so proud of you. "

"Thanks." She muttered, pulling away from the hug, and smoothing out her uniform.

"And Lauren," He kissed her hand, "Lovely, as always."

Lauren opened her mouth to respond, but he grabbed Bo's hand. "Bo, my team would like to get a few photos before the ceremony starts." He gestured to a dark hair man behind him. "This is Rainer, my campaign manager, you two will be working together during the fundraiser."

Bo glanced at Lauren and back to her father. "Fine, as long as it doesn't take too long."

"Perfect, it won't be long, not long at all," He pulled Bo away before she could say another word, Rainer trailing behind them, his eyes on his phone.

Not long after, Dyson and Tamsin strolled up to Lauren, and they were guided to their seats. They sat waiting for a while and finally the ceremony was about to begin. Bo sat up front with some other officers also getting an award. Dyson, Lauren, and Tamsin sat in the middle. Kenzi, Hale and Harvey Dennis sat a few rows ahead of them.

"Is that Bo's dad?" Tamsin whispered to Lauren, and Lauren nodded. "Yikes, politician's are scary."

Lauren smoothed out her dress, "He's actually really nice."

Tamsin shrugged, "He is kind of hot for a politician." At the same time, Ryan walked down the aisle and glanced at Lauren, briefly. She turned her head pretending to not have seen him.

After a lot of speeches and awards and Dyson fidgeting utterly bored next to Lauren, Harvey Dennis walked to the stage to give out the Medal of Honor, a professional photographer capturing every moment. Lauren glanced at Bo and saw her shaking her head. She wished she could be sitting next to her.

Lauren nudged Dyson to pay attention. "It's time for Bo's award," She whispered, narrowing her eyes on him.

"Finally," He groaned, and she kicked his foot. "Well, that was a lot of talking, these things are so long."

Harvey Dennis, stood at the podium, looking over the crowd for a long moment. "Truly, it gives me great honor to be here today," he intoned in a baritone, buoyant voice. "Bravery is what makes the men and women of this department great, and we are all gathered here today to recognize one who has gone above and beyond the call of duty…"

He continued with his speech; Lauren smiled with esteem at the back of Bo's head. Then, the memory of Bo in her hospital bed came flooding into her mind and tears filled her eyes. She remembered the helplessness, the sadness she felt that day. And she made a silent promise to herself to do whatever it took to repair their relationship, she couldn't, wouldn't lose Bo. She tried to focus on Senator Dennis, but the images of Bo after she was shot wouldn't leave her mind.

Lauren crossed her legs the other way. She had done a good job alienating Bo after their break. She supposed it was all her own fault for letting the situation swirl out of control, to the point, Bo was ready to end their relationship. She'd been caught up in her own uncertainties and hurt after everything that happened, that she lost sight of what Bo must be been feeling and thinking. But it was time to let it all go and move on, Bo had been right about that. She had to take the leap and trust Bo, almost breaking up, for real, had brought her back to reality. She knew, without a doubt, she didn't want to break up. Bo was too important to her.

Lauren cleared her mind and focused again on Harvey Dennis, he continued. "It is, therefore, my greatest honor and pleasure to present, Bo Dennis, my daughter, this Medal of Honor for extraordinary bravery performed in the line of duty at extreme risk to her own life." He paused and clapped, the crowd matched his clapping and Bo rose from her seat to get her medal.

Bo smiled at the crowd and nodded. After a few seconds, she shook her father's hand. He smiled smartly and shot a glance at the photographer, who took a photo while he pinned the medal on her uniform and patted her shoulder.

Bo stood on the stage while her father continued with his speech, it had veered into a campaign speech now. Bo scanned the crowd and found Lauren. Their eyes locked, and Bo grinned and winked.

Once more, Lauren thought back to the day Bo was shot and her stomach twisted. She knew she was only barely hanging on to her relationship, and there was only so much Bo could handle. She pushed down her melancholy and let the ceremony distract her mind as much as she could, because she was no longer willing to let the past keep her from embracing her relationship fully. She would take full advantage of their week together, and commit herself completely to rebuilding it, so that they could get back to the way they were, and maybe even stronger.

XXXXX

AN

Next update: flashback chapter

Thanks for reading!