Lauren laid there, in bed, staring at the ceiling listening to the sounds of Bo sleeping beside her, the even breathing, the faint rustling of the sheets. She closed her eyes and let her guard down, yielding to the scents and sounds of Bo. She leaned over Bo's shoulder and drank in her features. With one finger, she lightly brushed it over one of Bo's eyebrows and down the side of her face. Even in the depths of sleep, Bo was the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. Unconsciously, Bo turned over and wrapped her arm around Lauren and held her close.
For a moment, Bo was a warm and comforting presence, and she really realized how intensely she loved her. But even now, she felt like at times they were straining to reach each other, with one misstep, one breeze, and they could fall over the edge back to where they were before. For many months, they'd been living in a cycle of quick to anger, quick to love and back again. But for every bad thing in their relationship, there were more good things to tip the balance.
Lauren cuddled closer to Bo for a long while, but sleep proved elusive for her, as she turned over the last few months in her mind. Her shields had been up with Bo, for a long time, even before their break and, in truth, she'd began obsessing about it. She couldn't turn her brain off, which was a problem she always had, once something got into her head she had to solve it. But matters of love weren't as easily answered or solved.
Lauren moved with care, untangling herself from Bo and easing her way out of the bed. She pulled on a robe, wrapping it tightly around her body. The air was always chilly this time of year, at the cabin. She left the room needing to walk and clear her thoughts.
In the darkness outside she padded along with bare feet over the soft, cool grass. The moon was bright, high in the sky as if watching over her. Above, behind her, all around her leaves bustled with the light breeze. The hoot of owls sang everywhere in the distance. A trickle of relaxation shot through her body as her eyes traveled around the scenery.
She took a breath, inhaling the clean, cool air and gazed at the sky, away from the city the stars in the sky seemed endless and were brighter than she ever imagined possible. It was really beautiful.
"Hey, there love. Couldn't sleep?" Bo said quietly and drowsily, as she walked up behind her. She wrapped a blanket around Lauren's shoulders before locking her arms around her stomach.
"Sorry, I woke you," Lauren said, leaning back into Bo's arms, instantly warmed by Bo's strong embrace.
"Nah, who needs sleep when I can be with you." Bo slipped her hand under Lauren's robe running her fingers up and down Lauren's taut stomach. "You're giving me interesting ideas, dressed in that sexy robe." She whispered in Lauren's ear.
"Oh Bo, everything gives you ideas." Lauren teased back, turning over her shoulder to give Bo a quick peck.
"You're kind of irresistible to me." Bo caressed her lips over Lauren's mouth. "You're mouthwateringly sexy." Her hooded eyes roved over Lauren's face.
Laugh lines appeared over Lauren's features. "Are you drunk?" She asked, a real smile growing on her face.
Bo returned her smile. "Drunk on you, baby."
Lauren combed her fingers through Bo's hair, drawing her closer. "I do find your corny lines charming I don't know why."
"As long as it makes you smile, I'll keep them coming."
They sat in silence for a long moment. Bo kept her fingers on Lauren's stomach inching closer to the edge of her pants. "Is there any reason for us to be out here, when we could be back at the cabin, having sex?" Bo asked, cutting through the silence, only half-joking. Her fingers were now stroking just below the curve of Lauren's breast.
Sensing Bo's playful tone, Lauren joked back. "I love your romantic propositions. I must say."
Neither spoke for a time as Bo roamed her fingers over Lauren's warm bare skin. With each brush, Lauren felt a charge run up her stomach and through her body.
"You're not having trouble sleeping again, are you?" Bo asked, breaking through the silence. Bo's mind flashed back to early in their relationship when Lauren would go through spells of insomnia. Once she was awake for three days studying for exams, and it got so bad Bo had to take her to the hospital. Bo always feared those days might return when Lauren was stressed.
Lauren shook her head, a heavy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. "I just keep repeating the last few months, over and over in my head. Trying to understand everything." A lump caught in her throat. "I just keep thinking about how I could have lost you so many times. I don't know how you stuck it out so long."
Bo rested her chin on Lauren's shoulder. She removed her hand from Lauren's stomach and fastened their hands together. "Lauren, I'm glad that you're working through things but please don't dwell on all this. I'm not without blame here. I've made mistakes."
Lauren glanced down at Bo's fingers running lightly over her hand. There was such gentleness and love in that simple touch, it brought tears to Lauren's eyes. "No, it was me, I know that now. It turns out I'm my own worst enemy."
"Stop, Lauren. I don't like this." She looked meaningfully at the side of Lauren's face.
Inwardly, Lauren sighed. "We need to talk openly and honestly with each other, right?"
"Right, of course. But continuing down this guilt spiral isn't healthy either. I forgive you, we both made mistakes. We're both at fault, we both screwed up…many times." Bo stressed the word both.
Turning her quickly around, Bo stared directly into Lauren's eyes. Her hands slid down the side of Lauren's body until she had a firm hold on her hips.
Lauren swallowed and averted her eyes away from Bo. "Ok. You're right."
Bo tipped her chin up, bringing back their eye contact. "I'm serious, Lauren, no more blaming yourself."
Lauren opened her mouth to begin to try and verbally explain her thoughts, her guilt, her love, her worries, but before she could Bo kissed her. Lauren's eyes drifted shut, and she collapsed into the deep kiss. The ball of tension that was building in Lauren's chest started to unwind.
Reluctantly, Bo broke the kiss. "Now, come back inside and I can make you some tea, then…" A smile spread over her face igniting her eyes with mischief gleam.
"Then?" Lauren's eyes moved to Bo's lips, a second later she blinked back up to her eyes.
Bo tightened her grip on her, holding her snug against her body. "We'll see what happens after that."
Lauren laughed as a little more of her tension slipped away. Bo flicked her tongue over Lauren's lips, as her lips parted. Bo coaxed Lauren's lips to part further and shivered pleasantly at the way Lauren sank into the kiss. They were both getting cold, but the heat of their kiss was more than enough reason to push the cold air out of their minds and focus instead on the feeling of their tongue moving together.
Lauren broke the kiss first and for a few seconds pressed her cheek to the side of Bo's face until the contact warmed them. Sometimes, Bo kissed Lauren with such passion and intensity it made her head spin. This was one of those times.
"Inside?" Bo whispered, her breathing coming in heavy.
"For tea?"
Bo only answered with a smile and guided her back to the cabin, keeping her hands firm, and comforting on her shoulders.
XXXXX
Bo curled up on the sofa and held a cup of tea up to Lauren. "Here, it'll help you relax." She tapped the spot next to her inviting Lauren to sit.
Lauren took the cup and inhaled the steam billowing off it. She settled next to Bo, leaned back, putting the cup to her lips and sipping slowly.
Bo picked up her own cup and blew on it before taking a sip. "So, do you want to watch a movie or something?"
Lauren flashed her a quick smile. "Ok."
They idly flipped through the TV channels for something to watch. It took a while, but they finally agreed on a movie to watch.
Lauren snuggled up against Bo; she laid on top of her, her head resting on Bo's chest, as they watched the movie, warm and close. They were in a cocoon sheltered from the outside world. Bo stroked the side of Lauren's face, brushing her cheek with her fingers. Lauren looked up at her, and she knew why she loved her so much. She was everything Lauren could ever want, a loving, admiring partner. A half amused smirk played over Bo's face while Lauren studied her.
Lauren went very still, revealing a vulnerable expression that surprised her. "Being with you feels so right, Bo."
Bo grinned and kissed the tip of her nose, in response.
"You're awfully good to me," Lauren said, after a few minutes of silence.
Bo smiled, a slow, confident smile that warmed Lauren. Leaning down, she kissed Lauren's forehead. The small, sweet touch burned through Lauren.
"Well," Bo said pulling Lauren up to face her. "I'm not that good. I'm thinking some very bad thoughts right now about you." She kissed along Lauren's neck, stopped and nibbled her ear.
"So, what's new?" Lauren teased back.
"This movie's boring," Bo groaned, but in truth, the movie was ok. But most of the time she found herself watching Lauren rather than the television, unable to look away when Lauren's eyes moved across the screen while she was utterly immersed in the movie. "Let's make out." She added her eyes focused on Lauren's lips.
Lauren countered with a smirk, and she looked at Bo, her expression soft and playful. "Remember all those dates we had at that tiny theater, that used to play old black and white movies." Her eyebrows went up. "The theater was always almost empty on those nights, it was like we had the whole place to ourselves. I loved that, it was a special thing we shared."
Bo nodded. "In that case, we should start doing that again as soon as possible."
They drifted back into silence and finished the movie. When the credits started Bo clicked the TV off. Bo cradled Lauren in her arms as they sat in the dark.
"Does your shoulder still hurt?" Lauren asked gently.
"I'm fine, babe. It doesn't hurt."
"You sure? I could look at it for you. Injuries from gunshots can be tricky." Lauren slipped her hand under Bo's shirt and tenderly massaged over her scar.
"You're sweet to worry, but I'm fine." Bo smiled fondly down at her. "Bed?" She stared at Lauren for a long moment waiting for an answer. Lauren's light brown eyes seemed to grow darker in the dim lighting.
Lauren rose off her and extended her hand for Bo, and they walked back to the bedroom.
XXXX
The next day, Bo skimmed her hand down Lauren's back as they strolled leisurely along the stream. They walked listening to the rush of water as it washed over the rocks and the distance sounds of birds. Bo slipped her hand into Lauren's back pocket. She ran her thumb over Lauren's hip as they walked.
Lauren leaned into Bo's body. "What a great vacation, but what happens when we go back to work? I'll be pretty busy when I start my new job. I have a lot to catch up on." She paused and took a deep breath. "The problem is our lives can't stay this carefree forever. Once we get back to the real world, everything becomes more complicated."
Bo's eyebrows cinch together, briefly, before her face relaxed into a smile. "I wouldn't worry about that."
"I'm not being negative, just realistic, our lives are busy back home. It's different than here."
"We'll make it work, I know it."
"How can you be so sure?" Nerves knotted in Lauren's stomach. She was really nervous about what would happen when they returned home. She feared the same traps awaited them and worried they would fall back into it, and their progress would slip away.
"Of course the real world is more complicated, and I mean, I get why you're worried about it. But we have both accepted our part in what happened. Now, we can move on."
They stopped and their locked eyes, but there was not the simmering sex tension that usually underlined their eye contact, it was simply sweet and tender. Neither had ever had a relationship quite like this with anyone else, and both were realizing how deeply they valued what they shared.
They walked in silence further down the stream. "I love being here. I always have. Even when my father was giving me a hard time, I still loved the smells, the trees, the openness, the calm."
Bo's face fall and her tone turned serious. "I wish I could take away every negative thing your father has ever said to you."
Lauren felt the weight of the Bo's words, letting it all sink in, and hot reluctant tears filled her eyes. "I wish it were that easy, but it doesn't really work like that." Her voice was faint almost a whisper.
"I know, but I still wish I could." Bo halted their walking and pressed her lips to Lauren's forehead. "Right now, there is nothing I want more than to see you happy."
Suddenly, a glint crossed Lauren's eyes, and she grabbed Bo's hand. "Come on." She pulled Bo along.
Bo followed her for a long time, confused, until they stopped at the edge of a tiny lake.
"What-" Bo trailed off when Lauren began to pull her shirt up and over her head. She glanced back and forth between Lauren and the water, realizing she meant for them to go swimming. "It's a little cold don't you think?" She asked when Lauren started removing her jeans.
"It's not that cold," Lauren said as her jeans hit the ground.
Warmth spread through Bo's stomach and lower as her eyes roamed over Lauren's half naked body.
Seconds later, without a word, Lauren disappeared behind a large tree, surprising Bo again. Bo waited, and another second later she heard the rustling of tree branches, then Lauren flew by, holding tightly onto a rope as she swung over the crystal clear water. Bo watched as Lauren let go and disappeared beneath the surface of the water for a moment, and then she rose up and shook the water from her face and hair.
Their eyes met, Lauren held a bright grin. "Well?" She called up to Bo, splashing a little water. "You coming?"
Bo scrunched her nose, as Lauren treaded water and moved her arms in small circles waiting for her. "How cold are you right now?" She asked, resting her hands on her hips, watching her crazy girlfriend bob in the cold water.
Lauren laughed. "Come warm me up." She shouted up at Bo.
With a shrug of her shoulders, Bo slipped out of her pants and shirt, tossing them to the side. She shivered when the cool air hit her body. "You're crazy, it's too cold for this." She said as she reached out for the rope, catching it quickly. She gripped the highest knot and held tight. She pushed off the ground and went flying over the lake before letting go over the water.
When she hit the water, it was freezing cold. Several seconds later, she broke the surface, and Lauren splashed her with a wave of water.
Bo swam towards Lauren swiftly. When she caught her, her hand slipped around her waist and pulled her close against her. Their faces were inches apart. "It's cold," Bo grumbled her fingers brushed the bare skin of Lauren's back. Under the water, their legs moved together to keep them afloat.
Lauren gripped Bo's shoulders; she moved slowly to her mouth, their eyes locked together until their lips met and in unison they closed their eyes, surrendering to the kiss.
Bo lost all sense of her surroundings, and the fact that she was in cold water, as Lauren increased the pressure of the kiss and heat flashed in her core warming her entire body. She parted her lips, letting Lauren taste her and tasting her back.
They separated after a long moment. "Do you want to go again?" Lauren asked staring at Bo's lips. She didn't wait for an answer. She smirked, untangled herself and swam away. Bo followed closely behind her.
They jumped and swam a few more times before they collapsed exhausted on the ground and stared up at the clear sky through the trees. They were both breathing heavily, their chests moving up and down and their hands were clasped together.
"I haven't done that in years," Lauren finally said. "You don't realize how much you miss something until you do it again."
Bo leaned over and kissed her shoulder. "We should come back during the summer when it's not so cold."
Lauren chuckled and moved on top of Bo. "Let's go warm up by the fire."
Bo gave a small nod of agreement, and they started looking for their discarded clothes. They dressed and went back to the cabin, holding hands as they walked.
XXXX
On their last night at the cabin, Bo propped herself up on one elbow and faced Lauren. She reached out and danced her fingers on Lauren's hip to get her attention. She shifted closer, sliding her fingers down Lauren's thigh.
Lauren narrowed her gaze, frowning in curiosity. "What?" She watched Bo's hand as she continued to stroke her leg.
Bo sat up, pushing the sheets aside. She reached under her pillow and pulled out a small black box and placed it on Lauren's chest. Without speaking, she simply laid it there.
Lauren hesitated, her heart pounding in her chest. After a moment, she moved to take it, her hand shook as she lifted the box and peered up at Bo. A million responses and questions flashed through her mind. "Bo-" Her voice cracked, and she paused to consider the situation not sure how to respond.
Luckily, Bo spoke saving her from having to say anything. "I know you're not ready. And I'm not pushing. I just wanted to give that to you; it's yours. I bought it for you." Bo took Lauren's wrist and stroked her fingers over her skin. "Lauren, you're worth everything to me." Lauren's eyes filled with tears, and Bo's heart squeezed tightly..
Lauren frowned; a lump climbed in her throat, and she kept her eyes on Bo. She loved Bo. Loved her completely, she never would have worked so hard on their relationship if she didn't. Only, the problem was, she was powerless to speak, she knew they should take things slow, and they just weren't ready for marriage yet.
Bo took her hand and brought it to her lips. Slowly, she kissed along her knuckles. "It's impossible for me to think about any future that doesn't include you. I'm only whole when I'm with you. Outside of this vacation bubble our lives are full of complications, I know. But I am going to keep loving you with everything I have."
Bo stared at Lauren for a really long moment. Bo's words bore into Lauren's heart, and slowly she surrendered to the truth of it.
"It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to be ready. When you're ready, put it on and then, I'll know. As long as you'll let me I'll be by your side. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be the best I can be for you." Bo said the intensity of her words and tone sent a flutter through Lauren's chest.
And before Lauren could say anything, Bo scooted even closer and kissed her, allowing the kiss to linger, slow and gentle, for only a moment before she licked at her bottom lip. With a content sigh, Lauren submitted, and opened her mouth to touch her tongue to Bo's.
Lauren broke off the kiss and gazed up at her with half closed eyes. She curled her fingers behind Bo's neck and used her hold on her to guide her into another kiss.
The kisses were slow and deep. Their hands explored every part of the other's body. Lauren wrapped her arms around Bo's back, the small black box still clutched in her hand.
Just the act of openly talking through things had freed Lauren of so much tension and fear, and she felt stronger and more confident than she had in a long time. Instead of being chained to the past, she was thinking about their future together. It felt really good and right.
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AN
Coming up, more Dyson, Tamsin, and Evony.
And of course, thanks for reading.
Side note: Those of you that read my other stories sorry about the lack of updates. Hopefully, I'll get some updates out soon.