I go back up stairs to change into my swim clothes and try to process things. I've obviously woken up in some alternate universe and my parents look familiar, but I don't know where I know them from. Apparently, they birthed me, so Judy and Russell are not my parents. I'm in the same town, living a different life as Quinn… I don't even know my last name!
It's too much to try to figure out so I just put on my bikini top and Batman swim trunks and make sure my wand is firmly tucked in my robes. I go down the stairs and find Mom in a cozy but modern looking office. I knock and she tells me it's okay to come in, and I do, hesitating because Russell hated when I interrupted his work.
"What's going on, baby?" She asks with concern; something I never heard much of from a parent. She leans back in her big black chair and takes her glasses off, giving me her full attention.
"I'm about to go swimming at the teen center."
"Okay, that's fine. I'm guessing you'll run into some friends, so be back by seven." She gets up and gives me a kiss on the cheek. It felt nice to have someone to kiss me without being in public for once. "Have fun, Q Bug. Love you bunches of oats. "
"Thanks, you too." I walk away to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I've haven't heard anyone say they love me with that much sincerity since I was a little girl. It's nice to have a family that loves you.
I cover the chair by the pool with my towel and lay down to get a quick tan. I close my eyes and try to ignore the volume increasing of a girl screaming for some ditz. She sounds like she's getting upset as her voice gets closer to me. I immediately recognize the voice; Santana Lopez.
I sit up and look at her and wave with a big grin that goes un-reciprocated. "What the hell, Ditts? I've been calling you name forever!" She huffs as she walks over in her comic-printed Wonder Woman swim suit. If she wasn't so hung up on Britt, and me on Rachel, I'd totally let her be the Pepper to my Iron Man.
"I'm sorry, I was lost in my head. And why do you call me Ditts?" I ask, putting my shades one and watch her lean back in the chair next to me.
"Well, Quinnifer. I'm going to explain this one more fucking time okay?" I nod quickly. "Because Jaylen Quinn Diaz-Pitts is too fucking much for me to say. I don't have the fucking time." She says with a wave of her hand in dismissal and lowers her glasses and looks across the pool at a blonde girl I make out to be Brittany.
"That is a mouthful, but just stick to Quinn okay?" She ignores me and I look over to a little bit of spit on the corner of her mouth where it hangs open.
"Santana?" No response.
"Lopez." Dreamy sigh.
"Tana Bana?" Nothing.
"San , they're giving out free food!" More drool.
"Your mom rode Quinn Kong three different ways last night. It was exotic. Did you know she loses all her knowledge of English when she comes on my face?"
"DUDE! Shut the fuck up and let me fantasize about my dream girl, fucker! Damn!" She hisses and goes back to looking at Brittany.
"Okay, but you might want to wipe your chin." I laugh at her irritated expression as she quickly and roughly swipes at her face. She flips me the bird with a glare. "Aww, Santana don't be like that!"
"Shut the fuck up."
I was whoppin' some kid's ass on COD while waiting for dinner. I guess Artie's my friend from school because he initiated it. Doesn't matter, still kicking his ass, friend or not.
"I'm gonna make you drink your own fucking blood, shit head." I growl into the headset.
"Oh yeah? Well my brother just shot the shit out your tank." He says with a smirk in his voice. I'm upset but I won't show it, I'll simply get revenge for losing my only tank. I see that he tried to secretly to throw a grenade at me, I kick send it back and it fucks all his shit up.
"TAKE THAT CUNT NUGGET!" I yelled into my gaming headphones as I watch all of his supplies blow up. "YEAH! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEAT ME, SLIT LICKER?" I yell before voice drops down to a menacing whisper. "Is that it? Well look at what I have, then turn and look at what you have. What's there, Artie?"
He sighs and sounds defeated. "Quinn-" he starts, but I cut him off with my victory.
"Oh yeah… YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT, FUCKTARD! JUST WAIT-"
"JAYLEN QUINN! What have I told you about being too loud and using that kind of language in this house?" My mom's stern voice rings out, freezing me in the middle of my victory speech. I barely resister Artie's "busted" at the look my mom gives me."Turn it off!" She hisses. Jeez, I get in trouble with my new parents too.
"B-But I won..." I pout and point to the screen.
"No buts!" She says as she points to me and the gaming system. "Put this shit away and get your ass downstairs to meet the new neighbors." I sigh and tell Artie that we'll play later on. "Hurry up, Q Bug; Brad's already down there waiting for us. The girl looks like she wants to blow us up and those two gay men look like they want to eat your father."
She sighs and rolls her eyes when sees my dejected look and pulls me into a hug. "You can play your game when you get back. But! No more cussing. It's fucking unladylike like." She says seriously. I can't help but laugh and she cracks a smile. "Come on."
We go downstairs into the living room and sure enough, a bald black man and a sandy haired man are both staring intently at my dad. Might as well take a picture for your meat stash or put some salt and pepper on each other's meat and entertain yourselves.
Dad spots us and gives us a grateful look, "Cameron! Come over here and sit down girls." He turns to the new neighbors to introduce us. "This is our only child and daughter, Quinn. Quinn, say hi to the Berrys and their daughter Rachel." My head snaps up and my eyes meet the gorgeous eyes of the love of my life. Her curly hair has that blue strip and she wears a simple white v-neck and black skinny jeans with Converse. Thinking about what's under her shirt makes my dick rise faster than quick bread. Damn, no need to get excited. Calm down big guy... Don't want to scare her by going Hulk mode.
"H-Hi, Rachel. I'm gorgeous and you're Quinn." I say with a charming smile until I realize what I said. Shit! "What- no! You're not! I mean you are gorgeous, but I'M Quinn" Shut up Quinn! "And you're Rachel. Rachel Berry, probably taste like berries," Stop the fucking breathy/hiccup laugh! You're creepy! "You're gorgeous too, but Rachel first because that's your name." Shut the fuck up, dumb nuts! "Unless it's a nickname 'cause then it would be your first real name first, then Rachel, then gorgeous... Cuz you are." Say something else; she's looking at us like we're weird. Try to sound like you have brain cells!
"Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Bismuth, Technetium, Helium, Sulfur, Germanium, Thulium, Oxygen, Neon, and Yttrium all add up to Fuck Bitches Get Money. Do you want to see my comics?"
I start sweating when all of them gape at me, speechless with wide eyes. I chuckle nervously and point up the stairs before scratching the back of my neck, rocking on my heels. We stay like that for a minute before Mom awkwardly clears her throat and looks away. Rachel gives a husky chuckle and a wink in my direction before standing up and raising her eyebrows towards her dads. I almost came my pants.
"Well thanks for introducing yourselves to us, we really must get going. It was very nice to meet you." The darker one of the two men said as he stood to shake Dad's hand. His husband followed and Rachel was last to walk out the door. My eyes followed that ass the whole time. I swear it was like she purposely swayed her hips to tease me. Bad, Quinn Kong, bad! Stand down soldier!
Dad closed the door and locks it before leaning back on it and looking at me. Mom tried to hide her laugh behind her hand, but I heard it. Dad opened and closed his mouth multiple times before speaking in a strained voice, trying not to laugh at my expense. "Quinn, that was a lovely introduction as well as the very interesting fact you just told us, now go to your room and hide in shame."
I hold my head high and walk up the stairs leaving the sounds of their booming laughter and cackles behind me. Laugh it up, her sexy ass was on my couch and left an imprint. Don't think I missed it! AND! She winked at me. Totally worth it.