AN: Hi, guys. Not much to say, I guess. Just leave a review, I guess?

Disclaimer: Fire Emblem and other referenced games all belong to their own respective companies, otherwise, I'd have Captain Falcon be playable in this game, or at least DLC. Free, of course. (Because things are usually better when they're free.)

Third person POV

"Hey, Reflet." Robin said. "Now that I think about it, we didn't really recruit you, did we?"

"Uhhh…" Reflet replied. "You didn't really recruit Virion either. Also, you just got recruited a bit before me, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I'm a Tactician. I'm so important, I've got a capital T in my title." Robin said, a smug smirk on his face.

"T-that's true…"

"We've arrived at Ylisstol!" Chrom declared, revealing a large city that they hadn't noticed until mere seconds ago.

"I wonder how we didn't notice that before." Reflet muttered to himself "Must have been hidden in black space."

"So this is Ylisstol, capital of Ylisse... I've never seen so many people!" Robin explained.

Reflet, at this point, was pondering many things, where the author decided to pull him into a hypnotic trance, pulling his consciousness into a room. A magnificent, extravagant white room without any furniture except for a table and 2 chairs. Sitting in one of the chairs was "The Author". Oh no, it's not me, trust me, I'm just a simple Narrator. At least, the narrator voice. The seated figure was was staring at Reflet, staring deep into his soul…

"Now that the narrator has shut up, why don't we get started with your Terms and Conditions." the Author said.

"Wait! How'd I get here? Isn't this a fanfiction? This is a self insert, isn't it? Even though the title clearly states it being NOT a self-insert." Reflet angrily stated.

"W-well, you see, erm, I can explain...I did originally plan to make satire, but I decided on this fic instead. So, you see, I inserted you to cover other bases, like having self-inserts that wield the Pocket Knife Blade…

The Pocket Knife Blade! Perfect for any Self-Insert going on their grand adventure! It utilizes the power of Plotholes to be able to have the powers and appearance of: *takes deep breathe* The Parallel Falchion, the normal Falchion, the Exalted Falchion, the Falchion Punch!, Ragnell, Sol, Mercurius, Tyrfing, Balmung, *takes another deep breathe* Mystletainn, the Master Sword, Zangetsu, the Keyblade, the Buster Sword, the Blades of Chaos, the Monado, and basically any other sword we didn't name! It comes in 4 kinds, Awesome, Super Awesome, Extremely Awesome, and Super Ultra Awesomeness Arcade Remix Hyper Edition EX Plus Alpha Prime! Get yours now, because remember: If you aren't a Mary Sue, nobody's gonna read you!

"...now that the terrifying commercial is over, let's continue." the Author announced, looking a little dishevelled. "It seems that in trying to make you normal, I went too low and made you … pathetically weak."
"I'm not that bad, am I?" questioned Reflet.

"That Risen you defeated earlier. You didn't mention to the Shepherds that it was a child, did you? 'Cause that would've ruined your chances of staying."
"Erm, but, well, ehh…"

"Fine. I'll give you these things to help you on your journey." the Author said while pulling things out of his pouch that did not exist until just now, but it doesn't matter and isn't relevant to the plot so we shall continue moving along. "I have a Seraph Robe, some Power Drops, Speedwings, a couple Talismans, some Secret Books, a Goddess Icon, some Dracoshields, and some Talismans. If you use these, they should put you on par with Robin. Don't worry, his stat growths are better than yours, so it'll be fine. Just don't use it all at once."

"Why?" the hapless Mercenary asked.

"Don't ask. Just save it for another chapter. You'll also be getting an alternate."

"Don't I already have enough problems on my hands?"

"B-b-but, it's in style! I mean, some use it seriously, others for comedic effect. If Robin gets to have an alternate, so can you! I mean me! I mean, just deal with it!"

"...well that's just swell, isn't it? Can you at least tell me his powers? His (probably stupid) name? His weaknesses?"

"I...haven't really decided yet. But he will pose a threat, kind of. ANYWAY, you've already arrived in the palace and Emmeryn's about to finish the conversation. Time for you to meet the Shepherds! Have fun!"

"We didn't speak for that long, did we? Oh hey, there's already a plothole… wait! I still have to ask-" Reflet's question is cut off as his consciousness slowly fades back into reality.

"Chrom, we are about to hold council. I was hoping you could join us." the calm benevolent Emmeryn said.

"Of course." her more violence-inclined brother responded.

"That's our cue, Robin. Oh, and Reflet, too. I'd like to show you something." Lissa said, already dashing off to a "mysterious" location. At least, for the people that haven't gotten to Chapter 2, that is.

AN: There. Here's my pitifully short chapter on the rest of Chapter 1. I thank you for reading, and if you Internet-landers out there have enough time, please leave a review. Thank you and bye fer now!