A/N: Woah, 100k already?! I can't believe it. You all are amazing, you know that? Thanks for everything! :)

Chapter 26

Sketches of Life - Part II

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The library was not a fancy place, quite the opposite - it was only slightly larger than the room she shared with Leliana and Mahariel. It had a red carpet with a golden sun in the center, covering most of the place, which had no more than two pairs of tables and a few shelves full of books. Kallian had found the place quite cozy, especially with the double doors that led onto a tiny balcony, made of glass. She could see the mountains behind Lothering perfectly, as they were being swallowed by the black clouds when the lightning lit up the sky.

It didn't matter to Alistair to have returned to the empty library. In fact, he was happy to have left the corridor and gain some privacy with her.

The first thing she did was pull a chair near the glass door, putting her sketchbook on the table. She didn't sit down, however, just laid her hands on the back of the chair. Before sitting down beside her, Alistair picked up the lone torch that was attached to the wall near the entrance, so that they wouldn't be completely in the dark.

As he straightened the light source on the pedestal above the table, Kallian started talking, "When I said that it wasn't any of your business, it was because I'm not used to sharing my problems." Her voice was just a whisper. "When I said I didn't need your help, it didn't mean I wasn't happy to receive it." Alistair's hands stopped on the latches of the pedestal, completely disarmed by her confession. He definitely didn't expect anything like that. "When I said you were like them, I was being an ass. I'm sorry for all I said… but I still don't know how to live any other way ..."

Alistair didn't know exactly how to deal with this answer, whether it was a good thing or not, but as soon as he finished with the torch and his eyes rested upon her, he was no longer thinking straight. Amidst all the tension and surprise, he wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings. Now, his temper calmed, he finally stopped to really look at her.

She was barefoot, and didn't seem to mind the cold floor. Sometimes she shifted her weight between her feet, rubbing her heel against her shin to dispel her nervousness, but otherwise she seemed to be at ease with the stones. Her dingy white shorts allowed him to take a closer look at her legs - her shins were strong, with some thin white lines almost completely faded that were reflected by the flickering light from the torch. She wore a dark blue shirt that covered her shoulders completely, but left her sinuous, but delicate arms exposed. He could see the thin white lines here and there too, just like her bandaged wrist. The scars were barely noticeable, but his eyes were attentive – too way attentive - and for the first time he realized one very important detail, something that had been there all the time, but he was never able to notice.

Kallian was a woman.

It was not a matter of gender. Alistair had seen her from several different other perspectives - First as a new recruit, then as his partner in rank, the leader of the group ... But there, standing in front of him without those thick leather straps and shapeless clothes capping her curves, he had finally realized what she really was: a beautiful woman.

Her blood red hair was tied in a low ponytail, bound on the side of her head below her right ear. It followed down below her shoulders and curled slightly over her breasts, in a perfect contrast with her pale skin and the crystal pendant that dangled seductively within the limits of the small neckline of her shirt. Then his eyes met hers – golden rather than the topaz, reflecting the various shades of orange coming from the torch, hidden behind some rebels locks, which insisted on laying over her face.

When Kallian's eyes finally met his, shining more intensely that the fire burning at his side, he couldn't prevent his heart from beating fast, and something began to explode inside his chest, nearly suffocating his senses. He didn't know what to say, but he couldn't look away.

"Alistair?" She called after noticing that the Templar simply stopped showing any signs of life. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..." He just nodded, shaking his head and shoulders as if wondering the reason for the question. His mind was so busy trying to decipher what had just happened that it seemed unable to form words, much less be consistent.

"You are half red, are you sure you're okay?" Kallian crossed her arms, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"I... uh... you..." Alistair stammered, trying to focus on anything but her, yet it wasn't an easy task. "What?"

Kallian giggled in that way he liked so much, which didn't help to restore his concentration. "You're stumbling over your words again..."

"You're not helping," Alistair muttered, turning briefly to look at the window. Although the lighting might be a good distraction, he couldn't keep his eyes away from the little elf for too long. There was still a small smile on her lips, yet her eyes were no longer looking at him, but instead the thick leather bag that enveloped her sketchbook. His eyes didn't take long to find her pointy ear - and the horrible scar that crossed it from end to end, as if dividing it in two.

When she said nothing, he found the courage to ask, "What happened?" He raised a hand, putting a lock of her heir behind her ear so gently that Kallian wasn't bothered. She just raised a hand, running the tips of her fingers over the scar as the memories began to bombard her mind. If she closed her eyes, even for a moment, she could feel the blade cutting through the cartilage of her sensitive ear as if it had happened only the day before.

"This is none of your..." She bit her tongue. It was passed time to forget about her usual ignorant responses. "I just would rather not talk about it. Not now," She glanced pleadingly, begging him not to insist on the subject, but that only made the strange feelings that had invaded his chest begin to tighten his insides, so much that it hurt, increasing the pain with every scar that he found in her skin.

"It was… Humans who...?" He asked, and his voice was just a sad whisper muffled by the lightning cutting the sky. She just nodded slowly, rubbing the cover of her sketchbook, showing so much interest in the frayed leather that Alistair understood that he should not push it further.

So, he pulled a chair next to her and sat down, staring at the strange object. He didn't know what it was - in fact, he hadn't even realized she was carrying something until now.

After long minutes with only the sound of the rain and the wind filling the place, Kallian finally spoke again. "I'm trying, Alistair." She sighed, starting to undo the laces of the bag. "Just ... Try to understand my side ..."

"I was hoping by now you'd know, well that I do want to understand your side, Kallian," said Alistair.

She looked up at him, and again couldn't help but notice the sincerity in his eyes. "I believe you," she said. "I just don't know if it's possible."

"All the others," Alistair began, and he glanced down to hide his expression from the little elf. "They all think I'm an idiot."

"Alistair…" Kallian tried to interrupt him.

"You know it's the truth," he said and looked back up at her. "It would mean a lot to me if you'd give me a chance."

Kallian nodded slowly. Perhaps there was way to make him understand, a way to show him a bit of her world. And she knew exactly what she needed to do.

"There's something I want to show you." When she opened her sketchbook, and some papers fell on the table. She sighed, picking them up slowly .She remembered that at Ostagar, Noah had pestered her because of the drawings, and since then, she had never touched them again. Her sketches were all thrown inside carelessly and if It wasn't for the bag, she would have lost them all. She didn't seem to notice that Alistair was holding one of them perplexed, staring at it.

He wanted to ask if she had made them, but it was too obvious. He wanted to say that the sketches were beautiful, but it seemed insufficient. Then he asked the only thing that came to his mind, "Is that you?"

Kallian looked at the paper, and a smile formed on her lips. Except for her father, everyone who saw this drawing wondered the same thing.

"It's my mother," she replied finally sitting on the chair. Alistair looked at the drawing again, more carefully this time. They had the same strong and expressive eyes, and the similarities were visible, but Kallian was different. She was just ... herself.

"It's so beautiful," he whispered, but his attention was not on the paper anymore. Kallian began to thank him, but the words escaped from her mouth as she realized those caramel eyes were staring at her so intensely. Something had changed in him, but she couldn't tell what it was – she just knew that his penetrating gaze made her ears begin to burn. The crooked smile didn't help much either.

"Th-Thanks ..." She said, looking away at the rest of the papers. Her heart began to beat wildly in her chest, and she knew she couldn't think straight if she didn't break eye contact. "I can't make you see through my eyes, but I can show you what I see, instead." She pushed the sketchbook at him slowly, but kept a parchment with its face turned down on the table next to her. All the notes, all the people important to her, all the places she'd visited ... All the good parts of her life were there, exposed for him to see.

It was the biggest proof she could give him that she wanted him around.

They stayed for hours sitting beside each other, spreading the drawings over the table. Kallian gave names to people and places and answered Alistair's questions, which weren't just a few. At first, she was a bit apprehensive about how he would react to seeing these little fragments of her memories, and what she would feel for unearthing so much at once, but to her surprise, she was happy. Rather than remembering the bad things that happened behind each drawing, she was just talking about good memories.

No pressure, no demons, no deaths - only two people, two smiles and two hearts, sharing the moment shoulder-to-shoulder.

On the last page, something caught the attention of the Templar, and made the smile finally leave Kallian's face - A humble golden ring with frayed edges laid on an unfinished drawing of a faceless elven child. Kallian took the ring, holding it in front of her eyes for a while. It was her engagement ring, given to her by Nelaros on the day of his death. She'd put the ring inside her bag the day she left home, and since then it was forgotten among her things. With a long sigh, the little elf placed it on the table, pushing it to the side. With luck, Alistair would not ask anything about it.

Actually, she really needed that he not ask anything - she felt a strange tightening in her stomach by thinking about the possibility of Alistair knowing about her marriage. Although he had not spoken about this subject, the topic he chose was not easy either.

"You didn't finish this," Alistair said, touching the empty space where the child's face should be.

"No," she replied, grabbing the paper. "And I don't know if I ever will."

"Why?" he asked, looking at the ring. Just because he hadn't asked, it didn't mean he hadn't been curious about it. It looked like a wedding ring, but he preferred to not think about it.

"I don't trust my memory to finish it." Kallian sighed, starting to put her drawings, one by one, back into the sketchbook. The demon had played with both her memories and feelings so much that she didn't know if what would appear on the paper would be the reality or a fake one built by the Lion. When she realized that Alistair waited patiently as she thought, she ended up feeding the curiosity that was written all over his face, "It's my brother, but he died a long time ago..." She gave him a sad smile. "Sometimes I've wanted to see his face, but I have nothing to remember me of him... I miss him so much..."

Alistair raised his hand, but dropped it soon after. He wanted to be able to do something, anything, to wipe the sadness off her face, but all he could do was whisper softly 'I'm sorry' as he placed the last papers inside her sketchbook.

"But that wasn't what I wanted to do." Kallian swallowed all the sadness and put on her 'I'm okay' mask before he could catch the last drawing, that she had kept by her side before handing him the book. She pushed the parchment over the table for him, still with its face turned down. "I wanted to give you this."

When he picked up his new gift, his jaw dropped – it was a detailed portrait of the serious face of Duncan.

It was as if Alistair was in front of Duncan, as if he wasn't dead and everything had been nothing more than a terrible nightmare. Kallian waited in silence, just watching the Templar dealing with his emotions, keeping the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He was sad, suffering for not being able to never see his mentor again, and now she had given him this ...! It was much more that he could have expected, more than he could ask for. For many, it was a simple drawing, but for him it was a treasure that he would cherish for the rest of his life.

When he looked at her, after contemplating the drawing for a long time, his eyes were full of gratitude, admiration and, most of all, of caring - for her consideration of him and for being there with him sharing all these moments. It was a warm feeling, something different that started inside his chest and spread throughout his whole body in the form of waves, purifying any trace of resentment or anger that was still stored within it.

He wanted so much to hug her...

"I know he was important to you ..." Kallian said smiling sheepishly, starting to blush.

"...Thank you, from the bottom of my heart." He restrained himself to only holding her hand, squeezing it hard, wishing that she could be able to feel part of the emotions he was feeling. She stared in silence as the shades of pink played in her cheeks. They occasionally touched each other shoulders with their own, so close that they could feel the heat coming from the other's bodies. While she couldn't avoid his unreadable caramel eyes, he couldn't take his eyes from her slightly parted lips. They looked so soft...

Little by little, inch by inch, the distance between them was shrinking. Kallian became aware of what was happening when she felt his rapid breathing caressing her face, but she was unable to move - just stood there, feeling her own breathing accelerating as the beating of her heart deafened not only her ears, but also her thoughts.

Alistair dropped her hand, running the tips of his fingers slowly up her arm, aiming to touch the soft skin of her face. He was unaware of what he was doing - just following this overwhelming desire that had given him the courage to go ahead and give wings to this new warm feeling that had invaded his body.

However, their momentum was cut when a thunderstorm blew in through the rugged terrain near the lands of the Chantry, shaking the walls and scaring them both so much that they almost fell of their chairs.

"... What was that?" Alistair asked, bringing a hand to his chest, which lifted and fell frantically because of his rapid breathing. "Maker's breath ..."

Kallian, who brought her hands to her head to try to calm down, wasn't even a bit worried about the storm outside, but with the storm that happened inside. What the hell was he trying to do? Besides, what the hell was she thinking? It must have been some mistake. It had to be. It made no sense ... Why would he want to kiss her?

Noticing his confused look, she decided to answer something, before it generated more questions. "Thunder."

"Don't tell me!" He joked, still with his heart racing. He'd been most certain that he was doing what had to be done, but now that he was thinking properly, it seemed a pretty stupid idea. What was he thinking? Just when he managed to be okay with her, he would ruin everything?

After breathing in huge portions of air at once, he said, scratching his nape, "I think we should go. The sun will rise soon..." Kallian just nodded, still watching him closely. She wasn't yet able to read him, and it was so frustrating! She trusted so much in her ability to read people that this new reality left her lost, not knowing how to act. "Look... Thanks for the drawing. It means a lot to me." He smiled.

Stupid cute smile.

"You're welcome." Kallian smiled back, keeping her sketchbook in her bag and the ring in her pocket. Maybe it had been a wrong impression, or she had been imagining things. Bah, a beautiful human like him interested in her, an elf? Never gonna happen, she thought.

Wait ... Never gonna happen? Why the hell was she thinking of possibilities?

I need to sleep, she thought, shaking her head.

After saying goodbye in the hallway, Kallian returned to her bedroll, her mind full of more things than she was able to process. She was laying, staring at her engagement ring. Many, many times, she tried to put it on her finger, but failed.

Again, she tried to place her finger inside the ring. Nelaros sacrificed himself to save her - it was his last wish, she knew that and wanted to honor him, but it seemed so wrong ...

Sorry, Nelaros, she thought, taking off the ring for the last time. I'll always think of you fondly, but I cannot do that.

Before sleep, the little elf placed the ring on her necklace - the closest place of her heart that he would be able to reach.

A/N: You've been missing Noah? Don't worry, he will be back next week ;)