EIGHTEEN

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

When sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

- "Iris," The Goo Goo Dolls

Alana lay on the roof, staring at the stars. Their distant light calmed her and soothed her, but could not erase the pain twisting in her chest.

Oliver… the first time she had heard his name in five years. How had Loki known?

She couldn't deny to herself anymore that she loved Loki, and she had finally realized that he was in love with her too. But she couldn't endanger him, she couldn't, and she didn't know what to do.

The memory of the kiss haunted her and she could almost feel Loki's lips pressed to hers and his hand in her hair.

She lay on the roof, and found constellations, familiar, comforting.

The door leading to the roof opened, and footsteps padded silently behind her. Determinedly, with the rest of the strength she had left, she kept her eyes on the stars.

"Forgive me."

Alana was surprised. She had not expected this, to say the least.

Loki lay down next to her on the roof cautiously, as if he expected she would throw him off.

"On Asgard, we have thousands of times more stars. Would you like to see them?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded, eyes still fixed on the night sky. If she looked at him, she was either going to punch him or kiss him so hard her head spun, and she was trying to restrain herself from the latter.

Loki waved his hand, and in a flash of green light, the ink-black sky grew brighter with the light of a million more stars.

Alana gazed in awe and wonder at Asgard's stars. Some looked so close that she felt she could reach out and touch them.

And though she wished she could, she couldn't put it off any longer.

She owed him that, at least.

"When I was sixteen, my family was killed."

Loki lay beside her in silence. She was grateful. She didn't want to hear empty words.

His silence told her that he knew something about suffering, too.

"It was my fault," she said, bluntly, leaving no room for argument.

Loki turned his head, studying her face.

"I'm a telepath. And telekinetic." She took a deep breath. "When I was sixteen, it just… started happening. It was like a section of my brain had been unlocked. I could read minds, move things… I thought I was going crazy."

Loki's eyes searched hers, seeing the pain written there, the pain that came with her memories.

"Most of my friends left. I never told them, but they didn't understand, they were… scared, I guess. Of me. And then, one day, there were these boys."

She shivered involuntarily. "They weren't very smart, but they had realized that something was different about me. They cornered me one day after school, and tried to find out. I refused to tell them anything, but I got so mad that the walls just came down. On them."

She looked curiously at Loki, whose face was full of loathing, his jaw clenched. She smiled a bit at his hatred of these boys, whose names he did not know, just for daring to hurt her.

It was rather endearing.

"They were hospitalized, but the event made the papers. And, a week later…" a tear sprang to her eye, "my parents were killed."

Haltingly, she explained to him the fear of that night, the terror, watching her parents murdered and her brother captured. She told him of the kidnapper, of his plots and murderous intent, what she had been forced to do, of her brothers' death, and how she had barely been saved.

"That's when I was shot," she said, rubbing her collarbone, the scar white in the starlight. "And when I woke up, I promised myself that I would never use my powers again. They took too many people I loved."

As Alana finished her story, Loki now realized how she had known he was an outcast, and a Jotunn, and why she had responded to his thoughts in her sleep.

"At the beach," he said, "you said 'I love you, too' after I thought that I loved you."

Alana blushed a little. "Apparently I can't control my powers when I'm asleep."

"Then you said, 'Goodnight, Oliver.' "

Alana looked up at the stars again. " 'I love you, too. Goodnight, Oliver,' was the last thing I ever said to my little brother before he was killed."

Loki's cool fingers intertwined with hers and she squeezed his hand gratefully, taking a shaky breath.

"And it was my fault, Loki, and that's why I can't do this, because everyone close to me, everyone that I love, always ends up dead because of me. And if you died, Loki, I just, I just don't think I could take it."

"Look at me, Alana."

She looked into his eyes and saw a determination there.

"It was not your fault."

She averted her eyes. "Loki, I've heard this before. I know it was my fault."

"No, it was not. You did nothing wrong, Alana. It was he who killed your parents and your brother."

"I existed, Loki. If I didn't have my powers, none of this would have happened."

"You're right. None of this would have happened. I would be dead or in chains. You would not know me and I would not know you."

He smiled sadly. "I would not love you."

Alana lay there, feeling a glimmer of hope in her heart. "It wasn't my fault?" she asked, like a small child seeking reassurance.

"No. No, it wasn't, Alana. I promise."

A tear slipped out of her eye. Loki wiped it away with his thumb. "Are you sad?" he asked.

"No," she said softly, "I'm happy. So, so happy."

They lay there together, hands entwined, for maybe ten minutes in silence.

Then Loki began to tell her his story.

"I was found after a great battle between the Jotunns and the Aesir. Odin found me, a runt Jotunn baby, in the rubble, and decided to take me back to Asgard when he picked me up and my skin changed to Aesir. I was to be a bargaining chip for the future."

He sighed. "Thor was my older brother, and I looked up to him, I loved him, but as I grew I realized that he was full of pride and would destroy all who got in his way. All of our lives, Odin would remind us that only one could be king. And Thor was too hotheaded to be king."

"As children and as princes growing up in Asgard, we had no shortage of friends. Not true friends, mind you. Or perhaps they were truly Thor's friends, but not mine. I was the dark haired one, who did not even look like he belonged. My talents lay in magic, not in fighting, and so I was further mocked. My brother was the golden boy, and I the shadow."

He said all this bitterly, as if bearing a heavy burden.

"When Father chose Thor to be king, I was angry. He was not ready. And I wanted to be king. So I traveled to Jotunheim and made a bargain with the Jotunn king Laufey. I smuggled a pair of frost giants into Asgard's weapons vault. They disrupted the ceremony, as I had planned."

He smirked. "I am the god of mischief, after all."

"That was wrong," Alana said quietly, sitting up, studying his face. "Your mischief killed those two Jotunns, didn't it?"

The smirk fell off Loki's face. "I know."

He took a deep breath, sat up, and continued, "Thor was infuriated. He insisted on going to Jotunheim to make the Jotunns pay. I tried to talk him out of it, but he shook me off, like always. When we got there, he behaved with all his usual lack of tact and almost got us all killed. A fight broke out. One of his friends was injured when a frost giant grabbed his arm. 'Don't let them touch you!' he cried. I heard too late. But I was not injured when a Jotunn grabbed me. My arm turned blue."

Alana smiled, remembering his Jotunn form.

"I smote the giant and my arm faded back, but I knew that something was wrong. Odin came and took us back to Asgard and banished Thor to Earth. And I was satisfied, but for the knowledge that had come to me."

He grimaced.

"I stole away to the Weapons Vault, and lifted the Casket of Ancient Winters. My arms turned blue again, and I suppose my face did as well. Odin came, and I grew angry with him, but more at myself. He revealed my true parentage. My father was Laufey. Now I knew why I could not rule, why Odin loved Thor more than me. I was infuriated with him. Then, he fell into the Odinsleep. With Thor gone and Odin incapacitated, I could now rule. I planned to destroy the Jotunns."

His voice broke. "I was so angry, Alana. I wanted them all to die. So, I visited Thor and told him that father had died and that he would never be allowed back on Asgard again. Then I traveled to Jotunheim and told Laufey that I wished for him to kill Odin. They trusted me and came with me. Before they could kill Odin, I killed them. I killed my father."

Alana stroked the back of his hand gently.

"I then returned to Asgard and sent the Destroyer to kill my brother. However, he escaped and returned to Asgard, just as I was about to destroy Jotunheim using the Bifrost. We fought. He destroyed the Bifrost, and we fell. I held the scepter of Asgard, which Thor held, and he held onto Odin, who had awoken, with the other. I realized that Odin would not understand me, ever. And so I let go, and fell."

His eyes were full of pain and the shadow of his past.

"I wanted to die, Alana. I wanted it to be over. Forever. I was just so weary, so weary. I just wanted to die."

He smiled. "And then I landed here."

Alana stood up slowly, gazing at him.

He stood up too, and waited silently for her judgment, her decision, her repulsion.

She stepped towards him and cradled his face in her hands.

"I didn't think that I could love you," she said softly. "But now that I can, know that I will always, always love you, no matter what. You may stray towards the dark, but I will always pull you back."

"Do you promise?" Loki whispered.

Her hands drifted around to clasp behind his neck. "I promise," she breathed.

She kissed him, softly, tenderly, her fingers twining in the dark hair on the nape of his neck.

Loki felt the tension that had been in the pit of his heart since Asgard drain away and he kissed her back, his arms curling around her waist.

And there they stood, the telepath and the trickster, finally together, finally at peace, embracing by the light of Asgard's stars.

A/N: Thank you all for over 3,500 views! And thanks to my reviewers from the last chapter, Hugepuffball and Isa (Guest). You guys are awesome.

And now they're happy, and adorable, and everything is fluffy right now! So go ahead and enjoy it... while it lasts.

*thunders ominously in distance*

Ohh, I hate myself.

Drop a review, please!