TWENTY-TWO

This is what I brought you, this you can keep,

This is what I brought, you may forget me.

I promise to depart just promise one thing,

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

This is what I brought you, this you can keep,

This is what I brought, you may forget me.

I promise you my heart just promise to sing,

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

- "Prelude 12/21," AFI

Loki walked down the hall, escorted by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on all sides and felt a strong burst of déja vu.

Had it really only been a year ago that he had been lying in a hospital like this, wounded and afraid?

Only a year that he had known her?

Only a year that he had loved her?

He closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself for the sight of seeing Alana. Was she bruised? Was she broken? Would she recognize him?

Another scream rang out and he flinched.

He walked toward her door. His hand rested on the cool metal of the doorknob.

He wanted to turn and run. He wanted to flee back to before, to when everything was fine and perfect.

But he couldn't.

He turned the knob.

As Loki stepped into the room, Alana stopped thrashing abruptly. The doctors and nurses looked at the screens in disbelief. Her mental distress had gone down to almost nothing the second he set foot inside the room.

Loki heard nothing, saw nothing, but for Alana. His eyes were solely on her.

She lay in a white bed, looking small amidst the crumpled sheets. Electrodes on her head attached to wires, which attached to machines. So many machines.

So many wires.

He knelt down beside her bed and took her hand.

"Alana," he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

In the background, a doctor scoffed. There was no way she could possible surface, much less hear him. There were too many sedatives in her bloodstream; it just wasn't possible. There was no way she could hear him. No way she could wake up.

Loki paid him no attention. He knew the strength of her mind. He squeezed her hand. "Alana. Wake up."

Slowly, as if emerging from deep beneath the water, Alana opened her eyes.

The doctors stood still, stunned, frozen.

"Loki?" she murmured.

"Yes, it's me," he said softly.

"Where… am I?"

"Shhh. It's okay. Everything's okay, I promise."

"Liar," she breathed, a faint smile on her face.

Loki closed his eyes briefly; he could not let her see him cry.

"No. You're right. I'm sorry, Alana, I'm so, so sorry."

"What's going on, Loki? Please…" she said softly.

"Alana…"

"Tell me, Loki." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"They're going to erase your memory," he said with sorrow in his voice, in his heart, so deep that it went through his very core, ripping him apart.

Alana sighed. "I won't… remember you?"

"No."

"Oh, Loki," she breathed, tears in her eyes now as well.

"I love you, Alana." He tightened his grip on her hand as though it would stop her memory flooding away.

He couldn't let this happen. But he was powerless to stop it.

A single tear slipped out of his eye. Alana reached up, straining against the grip the drugs held on her. She brushed away his tear. Loki turned his head to the side and kissed her palm, closing his eyes.

"Don't cry, Loki… it's not the end."

He looked at her sadly. How could she possibly believe that?

Her head sank back onto the pillows.

"Just forget me, Alana. It would be safer. Easier."

"But I can't do that," she said sadly. "I won't do that."

"Then remember that I love you, and that will be enough. Remember that you won the love of the son of Laufey. Remember that you have his heart, and I will be content."

Alana took a deep breath. "Will it hurt?" she asked.

Loki looked at the doctors. They nodded.

He sighed. "Yes."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I'm ready."

The doctors moved around, preparing the instruments.

Alana whispered, "I will always love you, Loki Laufeyson." A tear dripped out of her closed eye.

Loki kissed her forehead, gently, hating himself.

The doctors began.

It was torture.

He held her hand, and she screamed, arching her back and writhing. Loki could see on the monitors that her pain level was only rising, and wished that he were in her place. Her mind was relatively calm, though, as long as Loki held her hand and whispered to her, telling her to hold on, that he loved her, that it would be all right.

He never thought he would hate himself so much for lying.

At least an hour passed. Loki could feel her strength waning. "How much longer?" he snapped at the doctors. The main doctor looked nervous and unsure of how to respond.

"We're almost past her mental barriers. Once we break them, then it will be about ten minutes."

Loki gazed at Alana, still fighting, after all this time. Fighting to keep her memories, fighting for Loki. She was so much stronger than he was.

Alana let out one last scream and lay still, limp as a rag doll, but for her hand, which still gripped Loki's tightly.

An expression of relief broke across the main doctor's face. "Commencing mind wipe," he said, almost smugly.

Loki wanted to break his neck.

Alana's body was still, but he could see her eyes moving rapidly beneath her eyelids. Was she relieving her memories, their memories?

Her hand grew limp in Loki's, and a final tear slipped out of her eye.

"Mind wipe complete."

Loki sat there, unseeing, unfeeling. His heart was gone, taken with her memories. He was an empty shell. He did not fight when the agents came to take him away.

He went with them in silence.

A/N: :'(

Thanks for the lovely responses from ScarlettO'Hara2011, Kieira, and Fantasy-Mania31.

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