Chapter 34

Inside the Fire

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Kallian

Leliana led us to the back of the Chantry, behind the Revered Mother's room, where a simple passage was hidden among the moss and stones. That was not the hardest part, because Leliana almost enacted a miracle with that damn lock. No, the worst was once we'd entered the building.

There was fire throughout the main hall, and I didn't have to go there to know it, such was the heat pouring out at us. Moreover, it wasn't as bad as the thick smoke curtain we had to get through.

We were talking about a massive wall of black gas that was a mixture of burnt oil, carbon and roasted meat, which not only burned my eyes, but also made me nauseous. Pretending that it wasn't people we were talking about was no easy task, but I was trying to fool myself in order to keep my sanity intact.

We'd tried to let a bit of smoke out before we went in, but honestly I did not seen any consistent result. There was no other way to do this but grab our courage and keep moving on. It was still hard to breath, but if we didn't enter soon, then we never would. No one had to say a word to make this clear, yet they were slightly hesitant. Determined, that's for sure, but still hesitant.

I'd sought Alistair's gaze to see if this was indeed what he intended, and when our eyes met, I was sure that it was exactly what he wanted to do.

They were just scared.

It was completely understandable, though. That building made the Void seem like a fairy tale.

So I took the lead and went inside at once, head down and with my wrist on my nose, to protect me from the smoke. If they needed an incentive, then I would be encouraging them. I won't say that death didn't scare me a little bit, or that I'm not afraid, because it was not exactly true. It's just that I saw death in a different way. It was just a variable, like any other. And to tell the truth, I had days where I longed for it. It would be so much easier to be free of all the crap I've had to endure silently, day after day... I was not cowardly enough to end my own life, and I knew how wrong it was to feed this kind of thinking, but when things got tricky, I will not lie that the thought had crossed my mind more than once. And perhaps this was a good thing...If I could build strength from despair, and build courage enough to take risks when no one else was willing, so be it.

If I end up dead because of one or another madness... Well ... At least I'll be sure that I fell trying to do something good.

As I'd pictured, my initiative was what was needed to inspire action for what was already right in their hearts. Cautiously, we headed to the main hall, where the fire was worse.

The flames were reaching the ceiling, spreading quickly throughout the support structures of the building, mainly coming from the collapsed area that was once the lecture room. If I'm not mistaken, the kitchen was over the source of the fire, so I'd no doubts that there was still a lot of things that could explode. We would have to make it quick.

We snuck up the stairs leading to the second floor. If the Darkspawn didn't notice our presence, or if they'd chosen to ignore us, I didn't know, but they had bigger things to worry about for sure. There was a bookcase in the way, but Alistair got rid of it quickly, avoiding the flames as best he could. He winced discretely when he lifted the furniture, but he was back to his normal self so quickly after removing the barrier that I had no time to ask about it. So, without further trouble, we reached the second floor.

I won't lie - I was hoping this would be the easiest part, but I was so damn wrong. Those damn beasts were determined to mess with us.

Noah

Defending was harder than invading.

They just wouldn't stop coming. Simple as that. We'd killed many of those dark beasts - on the outskirts, on our way here, the ones who'd dared to approach, but even so it seemed that for each one that fell, two or three arose to take their place.

Those fancy spells of the witch were missed. The elf and her idiot suicidal tactics were missed. Even that asshole's shield was missed.

The Qunari was insane, but he was no god. The rhythm was becoming too intense even for him. The same premise was true for the dog, and for the tree hugger. Her arrows hardly failed, but it was impossible not to notice her arms trembling with exhaustion with every arrow shot.

Poor girl. Only the Maker knew how many times she must have pulled that string today.

My own arms were shaking, yet I didn't flinch. I was draining strength from the Void to keep brandishing my sword, enemy after enemy, fiercely and implacably. What kept me in rhythm was exactly the rhythm itself - if I stopped now, I was not sure if I would be able to start over, so I would have to keep going until we could get out there, or until someone killed me.

The good part was that the news had spread fast. Lothering may look like a small town, but you have no idea how many people were there when the horde arrived. Many died, but the few still standing had noticed our mobilization and spread the word throughout the chaos, and little by little, people swarmed us. One, two at a time, ten at most, but it was a booster.

When you have nothing, you value each sling like a ballista.

We kept the place safe for a long time the best we could, with no more difficulty than we'd expected. That's it, until the Tree Hugger noticed a strange movement nearby. It was a group of survivors, fighting far away from us, near of the small houses to our left. They was a young man and three women, clearly outnumbered. There was also fire and lightning flying through the air near them, that was true, but I think not even magic alone was able to solve every problem.

Elves have this annoying human this, human that thing, but I think even the Tree Hugger had to admit that in order to survive, she would need as much help as she could get, regardless of who it was, so that's why I think she'd exposed this fact out loud.

Analyzing the situation, I thought it was possible to save them without too much trouble. If I could bring three others with me, what would it be? Two against one?

I'd been in worse situations, so the scenario wasn't that scary at all. Moreover, they had magic, and we had a super friendly merchant that couldn't fight because of his late age, but that was willing to share the vast stock of potions in his backpack with us in exchange for protection . This would ensure us a ticket out of this hell of a city.

"You, with me!" I pointed out the two most experienced warriors of our group - one dwarf that had joined us recently, and the sister of one of the Templars, the girl we had saved earlier. And to think he was worried about her... The blonde fought better than her brother. "Tree Hugger, you too."

Needless to say, she complained incessantly. She hated me, and I suspected that she would rather die than work with me. Lucky us, she knew that if we failed, her dear Da'shal would not have a chance, so I think this must have made her change her mind.

She could be a pain in the ass as a person, but as an archer she was exceptional. It wasn't hard to reach them, after all I was the one leading them and modesty aside, I was very good. The problem was to convince them to join us.

"Thanks for helping, young man," the old lady, said, shaking my hand with great enthusiasm. Interestingly, not every one seemed so grateful.

Among them, there was a girl with black hair tied in a half side braid, who didn't look one bit happy about the intrusion. Her blue eyes sparkled at us like a lion over its prey, and at this point, I wasn't expecting a thank you anymore. I'd say she saw me as a kind of threat or something, and that straight and thick tattoo crossing her face, plus the eletric charged sword in her hands made her look so menacing that I decided to reconsider every word I said from now on. She might be wearing leathers, but the lighting on her weapon didn't fool me. I knew exactly what she was, but even so I wasn't scared to face her, if necessary. However, it wasn't wise to upset a mage, even with a bunch of useless Templars around, so I would have to be cautious.

I wasn't like the elf - I had good sense.

"Grey Wardens?" The boy called. Now that I took a brief moment to look right into the face of the guy ... Well, if it wasn't the elf's boyfriend... Small little world. "So you survived Ostagar..."

"Not all." I replied bittersweet, yet half angry. The smug tone I'd heard from him didn't pleased me. It had seemed to me like he was talking to a criminal, and the only reason I didn't smack his arrogant nose right there, right then was only because of the those who were with him. But for some reason, my answer left him visibly shaken. At first I thought it was because of the elf, but I usually avoid jumping to conclusions.

"We're not interested." The mage interrupted me, in a pretty damn imperative tone.

"Sister!" The soldier snapped, but she didn't seem to care.

"Hush, Carver." She stepped forward, raising her blade between us. "Look, it was nice that you wasted your time trying to help us and such, but don't think it puts us in debt with you." Arrogance was in their blood, it seemed. "We were doing fine before you arrive, so whatever your plans are, forget it." The mage slightly covered part of the space between our faces, and I noticed actually her tattoo was nothing more than a scar camouflaged with elvhen ink. "We're leaving."

"Lenna, don't be rude." The old lady said, but I didn't think she had heard a single word. She had long gray hair and beautiful blue eyes, just like the other two. There was a similarity between the three besides the color of their eyes, that led me to believe that perhaps they were related.

"No, Mom. I want nothing to do with the Grey Wardens." The mage gave me her back, turning to talk to her mother. I almost threw all my common sense into the void, and sent her to meet the Maker. "I'll get you all out of here."

"Do not be stupid, human!" The tree hugger said, and it was something so unexpected that it left me stunned, just trying to figure out if my eyes and ears were doing proper justice to reality. "We are offering you a chance to survive. You are clearly exhausted. You have two nearly drained mages and a tired warrior - We have a good group and supplies. We are your best chance."

That was one thing I never thought I'd live to see; the tree hugger, who'd only ever complained about humans, was defending a group of them. If someone had told me this ealier, I think I would have given him a good punch to stop them from being so stupid.

"What is it, elf? Do you wanna fight?" The mage snarled, raising her sparkling hand before our eyes. And that was when I did send my good sense to the Void and held her hand tightly, forcing the mage to look me in the eye.

I had already restrained myself for too long. I wasn't born with enough patience to handle spoiled children silently. I did want them to join us to make it easy for us, to try to make everything less painful at least once, but not like this, not begging for help as if I wasn't able to walk on my own legs. As if I didn't believe in myself or in any of those people who were risking their necks to help us.

She looked like she was going to blow me up with just her eyes, but I wasn't intimidated at all. I would not let her, or any other moron threaten any companion of mine.

"Get your hands off!" She told me, and I could feel her pulse heating, the eletricity starting to run in my veins. Instead of losening my grip, I pressed harder. To the Void that she was a woman. I was no coward, but if she chose to raise her hand to me, then I would treat like her any other threat.

"Do that again and I'll kill you." I growled, ignoring her attempts to get away. The sparks of her right hand were weakening, while she struggled to not let the pain rise to her eyes.

"I need no human to defend me-" The tree hugger growled back.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed at the peak of my frustration. In the midst of this fucking war, she still wanted to insist on this human thing? Maker have mercy!

"How dare you -"

"Shut up and let me handle this! Maker!" I dropped the mage's arm, after making sure that the sparks were extinguished. I really thought the elf was trying to fly into my throat. Although I was in the middle of two potential opponents - the elf and the mage - neither of them did anything against me.

A fifth element, however, came in the middle of the discussion, and soon all eyes were on her.

A girl with hair as black as night, with tanned skin and large caramel eyes touched the mage's shoulder and whispered friendly words to her. I couldn't understand what she said very well, because I was too busy admiring her.

She was beautiful.

Different from her sister, she was wearing long white robes which seemed like a dress, so tenderly it adjusted to her curves and so perfectly it complemented her dark hair. No... It wasn't the clothes at all - she had her own brightness.

"Excuse me for the behavior of my sister. She is kind of rude sometimes, but she's just trying to protect the family." The white-robed girl said, bowing sightly.

Sister? Impossible. Such a beautiful rose couldn't be related to those two morons. She wasn't like them at all - her voice was sweet, her eyes tender, and her smile was kind. Not to mention that the feel of her healing touch was the most intense thing I'd experienced in a long, long time. But even those things couldn't explain how there was something different, something compelling about her that made it impossible to look away.

"Feeling better, ser?" She gently asked, her fingers lingering on my arm. All I did was smile at her friendly gesture, and it delighted me the way her cheeks flushed under my gaze.

"Thank you, my lady," I replied cordially, and aside from her shy smile I also got a look of disbelief from the Tree Hugger. Just because I had a grumpy reputation among the elves, that didn't mean I had no education. I was still a Lord by nature, and was perfectly able to act as such when the occasion demanded.

"Bethany..." The mage called in an alarming tone, but she only shook her head.

"Look," I said, before anyone else decided to interrupt me again. "We are taking refugees out of the Chantry. We will leave the city as soon as our people return. Simple as that."

"And you want us to stay to defend the building, waiting for your already dead companions?" The mage said. "You'll sacrifice us for a miracle? I don't think so."

Man, I really wanted to slap that bitch in the face.

"You know what? Fuck it. You want to kill your whole family, great. No one can say that I didn't try." I turned my back on them and mentioned to my group to do the same.

"Hold on!" The pretty lady spoke. "They're right, sister. They have a group, large enough to give us coverage. We need a break, sister, and you know it."

Apparently, common sense was saved in that family. The old lady stayed quiet, as if she were afraid to take sides. I don't blame her, though. They look more like savage mabari than actually people.

"Take a good look around you, Bethany." She pointed to the Chantry in flames. "They are dead. And we'll all be if-"

"They are not!" I shouted angrily. "Think wisely, mage. The clock is ticking."

I started walking. I was already too old to play these games like two kids fighting for the biggest piece of meat. If the pressure of reality she didn't make her wake up, then may she die with her pride.

"Wait ..." The mage said a few octaves down, visibly upset. "We will go with you. But know that once we get out of Lothering, our paths will diverge. Are we clear?"

Score one for me.

"You already know what to do. Come on."

Kallian

Things went smoothly until we reached the second floor.

There were Darkspawn everywhere, as well as blood and bodies strewn over the floor. They were trying to break into the rooms, and where they couldn't, they used fire. As long as they killed people, any method appeared to be valid.

Not able to control myself, I ran alongside Alistair to clear the corridor. Meanwhile, Leliana tried to unlock the doors and gather those who were still alive near the second door, to ensure that no Darkspawn would approach them from the stairs. The smoke was starting to get worse, but we were able to clean up over half of the U-shaped corridor until we got near the library, where the last refugee was trying to pass the locked door. The flames were already reaching the ceiling in some places, and breathing became a nearly impossible task as time passed. The kitchen, which was down the corridor, had collapsed completely, and left in its place a large wall of smoke that was already spreading everywhere.

Alistair grabbed my wrist at some point, preventing me from advancing further.

"Let's go back." He panted, trying to cover his nose with one hand. I just nodded, without questioning his choice. The path ahead would lead us to death, of that I had no doubt, and as much as we wanted to save those people, suicide was not within our risk plan. Also, I didn't think anyone was still alive in that direction, anyway.

"Leliana!" I screamed at her, my voice almost lost in the fire creaking sound, as we doubled our pace back to the dorms. "That was the last one. Go!"

"Right!" She said, before checking if we were following her. With great difficulty, she managed to guide the twenty or so people, who had been fortunate enough to have survived all this chaos, to the first floor.

We ran towards the stairs, as fast as possible, trying to escape the fire that wasn't still that bad in this part of the Chantry. I was reasonably satisfied, because that meant that another step in our mission was accomplished successfully. But my happiness was something as scarce as warm breezes in winter, because every time my life seemed to be walking to better resolutions, something happened to remind me of everything bad I carried on my shoulders. Literally.

Run, little elf, run.

I froze. Every fiber of my muscles were paralyzed at the same time. His voice, that voice echoing hoarsely and cold, strong as an explosion right next to me and at the same time, as thin as the sound of the highest note of Soris' flute.

I was in a panic. It seem so real, as if he was right by my side, whispering in my ear. I even could feel his putrid breath tearing the skin of my neck, as if he was ready to sink his long teeth into my flesh.

I don't know how I got waylaid by this damn illusion. For some reason, I relaxed and let my guard down. The lion was gone for so long, and so many things happened one after another, that my focus was lost in the midst of so many problems. For a brief moment, I actually thought that I was normal again, and I was carried away by this false sense of peace.

What a joke.

The impact of his voice over me was so strong that I wasn't able even to look back, to see if it was true and he was really there, or if it was an effect of the smoke. Couldn't be true, after all, it made no sense. We were not in the Fade, and he had no power in the world of the living, so it might my head tricking me.

It had to be.

"Kallian?" Alistair called, a few meters ahead of me. He stood panting, his hands still over his nose, and he was strangely pale. I realized I was standing in the middle of the hall, surrounded by fire on all sides, with the smoke choking my lungs and burning my eyes.

Now you see me...

Before me, there he was - the silhouette of a lion standing midway between Alistair and me, drawn with the black flames of destruction and the red fire of hell. His scarlet eyes were shinning strongly behind the flames, and penetrated deep into my soul without my consent, reading my thoughts and messing with my senses.

"Keep moving, Alistair!" I ordered, failing to hide the desperation in my voice. I tried to hide my shaking hands behind my back so he wouldn't notice my state of panic, but he noticed something strange in me anyway, because even after my order, he didn't move.

A smile crossed the face of the sarcastic beast just as my fear took shape in my heart.

More than my own safety, I feared for Alistair's.

He had nothing to do with my curse, but even so, I knew that the lion was willing to do anything to reach me, to affect me in any way, and if that meant he would put his grasp on the others, then it would be done. I would rather a thousand times to endure this torture alone, than condemn any other innocent to the same fate.

I could never forgive myself if something like that happened to Alistair. And the worst part was that the Lion knew that.

"Kallian, what is-?" He tried to speak, but all I heard was the satisfied laughter of the Lion echoing in my ears.

"Go on, you idiot!" I shouted rudely, and even though I said those words only for his own good, I regretted it soon as the hurt look in his eyes met mine.

I was the idiot in the end. Even though my intentions were good, I just stabbed my friend using a weapon that could hurt him more, without hesitation, and in the coldest way possible - treating him the way everyone did, and that he hated so much.

But if it would be enough to lead him to safety, then may he hate me. All that mattered was to keep him away from the demon. And I almost did. For a moment I thought he was going to leave me there, but something had caught his attention and held his presence. I didn't have time to wonder what it could be, because the demon made his last move.

Now you don't!

The lion then disappeared, rising to the heavens in an strong explosion of purple and black that briefly blinded my eyes. In the next moment, the ceiling was falling, and Alistair's scream was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

A\N: An unexpected family has joined their group, and Hawke couldn't hide her hatred towards the Grey Wardens. Meanwhile, the demon is hovering over Kallian again, and this encounter is fated to have the worst ending possible. If you were with the Wardens, would you accept Hawke into the group, especially

knowing that she may be a greater threat than the one they are facing?

If you were Noah, would you have slapped Hawke for her bad attitude?

(I would! lol!)

It was really nice to hear your thoughts about the last chapter. The opinions were evenly divided, and both options made sense. There's not easy answer, nor is it an simple matter - it never is when it's about duty. Thanks for sharing your opinions! I loved it!

And yes, the title is the name of the song used in the first chapter ;)