so this is the second time i'm typing this introduction because i accidentally closed the window without saving this. oi. frustrating.

"The most beautiful people are beautifully scarred." - R.M. Drake (Or something like that, i didn't reopen the window to look at the quote again.)

Ash swirled around my heels as I walked through what used to be my house. I walked over to what was left of the back wall and slowly turned in a circle. Carolina still smelled like Carolina; briny with the same, constant humidity hanging heavy in the air. But this wasn't the same Carolina. Surely it wasn't. If it was the same Carolina, my old house wouldn't be a pile of ashes.

I stopped my rotation so I could look at the tree house. The fire had barely touched it, miraculously, but it would have to be torn down when the construction crews took away what was left of my house so they could build a new structure there.

I heard light footfalls behind me and knew it was Aspen without having to look. Before we left Swendway I called Aspen and asked him to meet us in Carolina to start taking care of things for me. I forced my feet to move forward and soon I was standing at the base of the ladder to the tree house. My muscles acted out of habit, my hands clasping the fourth rung and my feet alternating as I climbed higher. It was harder than three years prior due to my growing belly but I still managed to climb into the small space.

Aspen followed but chose to just stand on the top of the ladder so the upper half of his body was in the tree house. "I'm sorry, Mer," he said quietly.

I shook my head, not knowing what else to say. I hugged my knees, sliding my heels off of my feet. "This is the last real connection I have to my dad," I said, running my fingers over the wooden planks beneath me.

"You know that's not true. You know he's always with you," Aspen reminded me.

I smiled sadly. "During the later half of the Selection, I wondered what it would be like the first time Maxon saw where I grew up. This is not what I imagined."

"He's been a blessing today, dealing with your brother."

"He's just doing it for me. I think he knows that I can't go see him in the hospital without causing a scene." I shook my head. "I can't believe he actually tried to save people."

Aspen shrugged. "It's been a couple years since you last talked to him. Maybe he's different from the Kota you knew back then."

I snorted. "I doubt it." I slid forward, my heels in hand. "Go stand at the bottom to catch me if I fall," I told him.

"That's it?" he asked, looking around the tree house.

"It'll always be special to me but sorry, it's been surpassed by a particular bench in the palace gardens," I told him, kissing his cheek. "Go on, you."

He laughed and climbed back down to the bottom of the ladder where he waited for me in case I did fall. I slowly made my way down and walked back through the pile of ashes, meeting Maxon in the middle. He hugged me close, kissing my hair. "How's Kota?" I asked him, my voice muffled by his light jacket.

"Ask him yourself," he said softly, pulling away so I could see my brother brushing ash off of a bush along the street. Aspen was right; he wasn't the same Kota from before. I steeled myself and approached him.

His arm was in a sling with bandages wrapped from his hand up to his elbow. He had apparently suffered serious burns to his hand and lower arm when he tried to get someone out of the burning house. His days of being an artist were over. "Hey," I said quietly, my voice coming out raspy.

He looked up at me with the same gray eyes I had, his swimming in tears. "I guess this is what happens to people who dishonor their families," he mumbled, looking back at the bush as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

I shook my head. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" I asked him.

"What?"

"You were living here. Here isn't…well it isn't here anymore. So, where are you going to live now?"

He looked at me, frowning. "I hadn't thought about it. I guess I'll find somewhere else nearby."

"I have a better offer," I started but he cut me off.

"America, Mom will never let me walk through her house again. Not after everything I've done." He paused. "I've hurt all of you. I don't deserve any hospitality or forgiveness."

I shrugged. "Everyone deserves kindness. And I think when Mom hears about how many people you saved she'll be more than happy to welcome you back home. You should be with all of us Kota. I know Kenna misses you, and Gerad."

Kota laughed. "I doubt Gerad misses me."

"Well, Kenna really does miss you. And no matter what you've done, you are Mom's oldest and she has always loved you for all of your faults. Come home, Kota." I put my hand on his shoulder. "You're still a Singer. Nothing can take that away."

His face crumbled and he threw his free arm over my shoulder, crying into my hair. I rubbed his back as he sobbed, whispering soothing words to him. Maxon tapped my shoulder to tell me that the car was leaving in a few minutes. I nodded to him as Kota drew himself back up, wiping at his eyes. "You're a good queen, you know," Kota told me.

I blushed and it was my turn to look away. "I guess I'm not that bad."

"I always knew you could do it," he said, putting his arm over my shoulder again as we walked to the car that would take us to the airport.

Walking into the palace with Kota at my side felt strange but Maxon insisted that Dr. Ashlar look at his hand. I held my breath as Dr. Ashlar checked his bandages but his face gave away nothing. The doctor left for a few minutes to go check over his notes and to find some pills to give to Kota, leaving me alone with my brother.

"Thank you sister," he said quietly. "You didn't have to do this."

I shrugged. "Dr. Ashlar is one of the best doctors in the country, hence why he's here. If anyone can help heal you, it's him." I crossed my arms, looking at the ultrasound machine sitting in the next room over. Just a couple days, I assured myself. Things between Kota and I weren't really smoothed over but it was definitely different now. Instead of hating him as usual, I was actually worried about him. What would he do if he couldn't use his hand?

"Well, Mr. Singer," Dr. Ashlar said, coming back in the room, "I am sorry but I can't help your hand. It would take a very complex surgery to do the trick and it is just beyond me to perform such an operation. That is not to say that it's impossible though. There's an excellent rehab facility in France run by one of my former colleagues from medical school. If you are committed to regaining full use of your hand, I'm sure I could make a few phone calls and arrange a place for you there."

Kota didn't even hesitate before answering, "I'll go. Whatever the cost, I'll do it." He practically jumped off the bed at the news.

Dr. Ashlar held up his hand. "It is quite expensive. For the care you'll need, you're looking at about $20,000 or just under 16,000 euros."

"Oh, maybe not that cost," Kota mumbled, his shoulders sagging.

I rolled my eyes and interjected, "We'll pay."

"What? America, I can't let you guys do that," my brother refused.

"Do you want to get use of your hand back or not?" I looked back at Dr. Ashlar. "We'll cover the cost of anything he needs in order to get healed."

Dr. Ashlar looked between us and then nodded, writing something down on his clipboard. "In the meantime, I have some pills for you Mr. Singer. I'll make the arrangements for you to head to France within this week. Come every morning at this time and we'll change your bandages, okay?"

Kota nodded and took the pills with his uninjured hand. "Yes. Thank you so much, Dr. Ashlar."

I followed Kota out but Dr. Ashlar called me back. "Since you're here, would you like to do your ultrasound now?" he offered.

My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. "What? We can do it now? Really?"

He laughed at my enthusiasm. "Yes. I can call Maxon if he's in his study."

I nodded and went to the ultrasound room as Dr. Ashlar called Maxon down. My husband made it to the hospital in record time, no doubt running the whole way like a madman. He took the seat next to me as I finished filling out some paperwork. "This is great, thank you Dr. Ashlar," Maxon said, holding my hand.

Dr. Ashlar set up the machine and smiled at us, typing in a bunch of coded messages as the machine woke up. "Okay," he said, squirting the gel on to my stomach. I looked at Maxon and smiled, praying that the babies would be in the right position for us to see them. "Wow, they're looking really healthy so far. Also positioned perfectly for an ultrasound. I couldn't ask for a clearer picture."

"C'mon, you're killing us Doc," I joked, my toes wiggling back and forth out of excitement.

He nodded and laughed. "Okay, okay, you're having a girl…" he paused, looking at us. Maxon's eyes lit up and we held our breath, waiting to hear the second one. "And a boy." I let out my breath as Maxon stood to kiss me.

"One of each is perfect," he whispered, his eyes getting watery.

"You have a son," I said, more relieved at this. I would have loved a daughter to death and Maxon assured me hundreds of times over that he didn't care about having an heir but I cared.

He shook his head. "I have a daughter too. I couldn't ask for anything more."

We walked back upstairs hand-in-hand. I made a mental note to find Kota later and spend some time with him. Maybe we could go to the music room for a bit. He did have some musical ability. It wouldn't soothe him like art would but it would help at least a little. "We need to start discussing names," Maxon said, breaking me out of my reverie.

I shrugged. "Honestly, I have tons of girl names in mind but none for a boy."

"It's the opposite for me. I've known what I want to name my first son for years but I've never thought about my daughter," he admitted.

"Then why don't I come up with a girl name and you come up with a boy name and we'll have a little name-exchange dinner tomorrow night," I suggested, resting my hands on his strong chest and leaning into him.

He smiled knowingly. "You just want an excuse to have a dinner alone with me."

"Our dinners alone are numbered, sir. I want to take advantage of every opportunity I get. We can have a picnic in the gardens!"

"It's getting cold," he fretted. "How about the conservatory?"

I shook my head. "This is Angeles Maxon; it doesn't get cold. But I guess if you're that worried about it I can settle for the conservatory," I conceded. "I'll see you at dinner at seven?"

"That's the plan. Hey, we get to tell your family," he said, playfully nudging my shoulder.

I smiled back at him, putting a hand on my stomach, a habit that had been forming over the last few weeks. Maxon rested his hand over mine, smiling quietly. The peaceful moment was broken by a group of guards entering the hallway, their chatter bringing us back to reality. Maxon kissed my forehead tenderly and squeezed my hand. "Six o'clock then," he said as he walked away.

"Seven!" I corrected, watching him go. He just waved for me to let it go and I knew he was joking.

"America!" Kota yelled, jarring me from my afternoon nap. Mary walked to my door and opened it for him. I groaned and sat up in bed, pinching the bridge of my nose as Mary opened the curtains in my windows. It was getting dark outside so hopefully my afternoon naps wouldn't require drawing the curtains.

"What Kota?"

He was standing at the foot of my bed, wearing the same jeans from the day before with no shoes and a big t-shirt Aspen had lent him. "I have nothing to wear to dinner!" he said exasperatedly. "What do you wear to dinner with your family that says 'Hey, sorry I've been a jackass but I really want to reconcile our relationship before I move to France for several months?'"

I rolled my eyes and slowly extricated myself from my blanket, waving a hand to signal for him to follow me as I walked over to Maxon's room. I could hear him in the bathroom so I poked my head in and saw him standing at his mirror shaving wearing just his underwear. "Kota's in here so you can't walk around naked," I told him, leaving him with that.

"Why's Kota in here?" Maxon yelled from his bathroom as I took Kota to Maxon's room. He was more Maxon's size than Aspen's so my husband's clothes would be much more comfortable on him.

I reached up and pulled an old sweater down, shaking it out and holding it up to Kota to get a good look at how it would fit. "Hold that," I instructed, handing him the sweater and walking deeper into the closet. "What's your waist, again? Never mind, I think these will fit you. You'll just need a belt." Kota was slimmer than Maxon. What Kota lacked in muscle Maxon made up for tenfold. I passed my brother the clothes.

"America, you're already paying for my trip to France. I can't let you pay for a whole new wardrobe," Kota said, still holding the clothes. "Besides, I can't wear my brother-in-law's clothes."

"We're paying for him to go to France?" Maxon shouted from his bathroom.

I rolled my eyes. "Thin walls," I explained to Kota, seeing his surprise that Maxon could hear us. "We renovated the bathroom and closet to make room so I could have a smaller closet in here last February…anyway, you need clothes. I know the French can be a little promiscuous at times but I'm fairly certain that they are still strict about being fully clothed in public. Or at least wearing pants."

"America…" he began but I cut him off.

"Kota, you're family. If I didn't help you I'd be asking for majorly bad karma to come my way and when you're queen you can't afford to have bad karma now go change in my room." My voice left little room for argument. I was using what Maxon had started calling my 'mommy voice.' I pointed at the door when Kota didn't move right away and when the coast was clear Maxon finally came in to get changed for dinner.

I folded some of the sweaters I had knocked down in my hunt for Kota's clothes. Since taking the throne, Maxon had gotten to be a lot more lax about dress code in the palace. He now opted for khakis or some kind of dress pants but left the ties and button-downs to more formal occasions.

"So we're paying Kota's medical expenses in France?" Maxon asked, sliding a pair of fresh pants on.

I finished folding the sweaters and turned to look at him. "I know I should have asked you first but I wasn't going to let him leave that hospital without having his next step planned. I know he's putting a brave face but he's really scared and lost. He's been through a lot and I'm making this transition as easy as possible for him."

"That's awfully nice of you," Maxon said to me as he checked his outfit in the mirror. He walked over to me and held my hands in his.

"I am his sister." I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it all.

He nodded, looking at me curiously. "Funny. I have a rather vivid memory of you kicking him out of here and telling him to never talk to you again. Aspen also mentioned you threatening to cane him and calling him a jackass all in one breath."

"It wasn't all in one breath," I mumbled.

"Still…you're a much more forgiving person than I am."

I shook my head. "It's not that I've forgiven him. He said a lot of awful things over the course of my visit a few years ago and then he went and sold the house without telling any of us…but he did come here before asking for reconciliation. I can't help but think that if maybe I had agreed he wouldn't be in this position now."

Maxon pursed his lips and held my shoulders. "America Schreave, you listen to me. This is not your fault. It was a freak accident and besides, the house was already sold when he came here. You cannot blame yourself for this." Tears brimmed in my eyes as I nodded and Maxon pulled me close, letting me cry into his chest. "You're being so strong. I know this has been hard on you."

"It's just…going through everything these past few months without Dad is hard enough. I know you understand that because it's the same with you and your mom. Now I have to deal with Kota on top of that…" I tried to explain but the words just weren't coming to me. "I'm just glad August and Georgia hadn't moved out there yet."

He kissed my cheek. "Me too. Are you ready to be in public?" he asked.

I wiped my tears away. "Crying women still isn't your forte."

"We'll have to forewarn our daughter," he joked.

"That we must."

how was that? hope y'all liked it! before i forget because i've forgotten to say something for the last ten chapters, i have some links on my profile for dresses America wears throughout this fic and i'll be adding to it as the story goes on. Check it out if you want! also, has anyone had a serious craving for Christmas? idk how or why but i got the biggest urge for Christmas today. i've been listening to Christmas music all day and i hate christmas music. i can't listen to it until the week of Christmas, if that. so yeah, weird. idk. i must be getting sick or something.

p.s. my responses to your reviews are going to be a bit shorter because like i said, accidentally closed the window without saving so i've already answered half of them and i am so tired i just can't write the full responses again.

p.p.s. i think we can get to 200 reviews, don't you?!

Mac: i feel like i don't write enough fluff! let me know if i'm overdoing it!

zqueens: i mean, it's all relative. i don't know how this story will end but i know that there comes a time where both Maxon and America die because there comes a time in everyone's life where they die. so like i said, it's all relative.

Theoneforever: don't give up on him yet! I sure haven't!

PEETAMELLARKLOVER123: i don't have one. i love black, gray, and white for clothes and navy blue and pink for dorm decor but i like pretty much all of them (except for orange and yellow; BLECH!)

Weatherbug02: we're playing Michigan this Saturday! i'm so nervous for this game! And then we're playing Ohio State. We're in what people have started calling the three-game gauntlet because we're playing Northwestern, Michigan and Ohio all right in a row. I'm not discounting anyone but i think our toughest game will be Michigan State. that's our last game and they've been on fire so far this year.

Fairy not princess: i have to keep it interesting somehow!

Someone the World Forgot: thanks for the happy thoughts but i'm back in business!

Issi Herondale: i just looked up Swedish names and found that one and decided to use it. sorry i didn't make her a nicer character! that's quite a coincidink though!

Guest: you have not seen the last of Daphne. *wiggles eyebrows*