Why 6
The next morning, Emma took training a bit too seriously. She had shown the men an offensive technique and was allowing them to try it on her. She went easy on them as it began, but with each man she became more and more aggressive, making counter attacks to their failed attempts. Finally she let the anger rage to the surface and spun the sword out of one soldier's hand and nailed him in the face with the hilt of her sword.
"Take it easy, Swan!" Robin yelled as he caught the man who had staggered backward.
Emma fought to catch her breath, suddenly realizing what had happened. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think that's enough for today." She dropped her sword and hurried off away from the group. She ran her hands through her pulled back hair, squeezing her eyes shut. What had she done? Kissed the queen of the Black Kingdom? No, it was worse than that. She has gone and fallen for the woman. As Emma walked through the courtyard with no goal in sight she cursed herself. Could she have possibly picked any worse option than Queen Regina? Who wasn't even an option, by the way. And Emma could never just sleep with the queen knowing they had no future, risking her life if Leopold found out. No way, Emma just couldn't go there. And yet at this moment that's all she wanted out of life. Emma desperately tried to shake those feelings out of her head and stalked out the courtyard and to the stables.
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Emma found her horse taking her along the same path she had followed the queen and Henry down that first time. She found the memories bittersweet and took a deep cleansing breath as she emerged into the familiar clearing. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye and she snapped her head there. Leaning back on her palms in the grass next to her tethered horse was Queen Regina, peering up at her adoringly.
Emma was startled and didn't know what to say, so she just looked down from her horse. Finally she broke the silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here. I'll be going," she turned her horse to head back to the woods.
"Emma, wait!" Regina called as she scrambled to her feet. When Emma halted her horse and looked at her she sighed. "Please don't. Lets just, clear the air, okay?"
Emma pursed her lips and decided to bite the bullet. She needed to. "Look, your highness, that was-last night was a huge mistake. I apologize for taking advantage the way I did, I would never-"
"No," Regina interjected. "You didn't take advantage. I-I wanted it too."
Emma was both overjoyed and broken hearted to hear this. She squeezed her eyes shut a moment before continuing. "That's not-it doesn't matter because, it can't happen again. It won't happen again." She saw the disappointment across Regina's face and her heart broke a little. "Look, it's obvious we like each other, but, we're just-too different. You're a queen, the enemy of MY queen. I have duties, and I'll be leaving here very shortly. Sure, we could have a roll in the hay, but that's all it would be. And even if I do that, I'm liable to get my head chopped off for treason to the crown."
Even though she knew in her heart Emma didn't mean these things, it still hurt Regina to hear them. It also hurt because she knew Emma was right.
Emma swallowed down the emotion and the desire to fly down from the horse and take the queen in her arms. "So, I think it's in both of our best interests if we just keep things...professional."
Regina chuckled at this and looked away. She threw her arms up slightly in resignation. She looked back at Emma and cocked her head. "How about friends?"
Emma tweaked her lips in thought. Finally she nodded once. "As much as our stations will allow, friends."
Regina raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Friends with benefits?"
Emma couldn't help but laugh out loud and shake her head. "Friends. Now if you'll excuse me, your highness."
Regina put a serious face on and stood erect. "Good day, Captain." This elicited another laugh from Emma who slowly made her way back into the forest. Regina smiled as she watched her go, but as Emma was out of ear shot, she let out a deep, soul shattering sob.
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Over the next week, Emma and Regina had hardly gotten back the closeness they had before the kiss, and most times they met were tense and rigid conversation. But they both noticed that slowly they were becoming more comfortable around each other again. Slowly the longing looks returned, the exchanged glances and smiles becoming more frequent again. Both women knew that although they had agreed to just be friends, internally their almost affair was far from over.
Time was getting close when they would make the two day journey to the White Castle for the ball, marking the end of Emma's stay in the Black Kingdom. Regina had called her royal guard into the throne room to discuss who would be escorting them and who would stay behind to protect the castle. Since Emma had been so heavily involved with the guard, she was also at the meeting, standing at attention behind Robin and his second in command, Will.
Regina was regal as always, impeccably dressed with the perfect amount of cleavage; at least as far as Emma was concerned. She stood before the guard, shoulders back, chin high. "Will, you will command the first and second units and accompany us to the White Castle. Robin, you will stay behind with the rest of the guard to defend the castle and lands."
Robin dropped his shoulders, clearly upset. "Begging your pardon, your grace, but I hardly think it is safe for you to leave me behind while you venture over to that kingdom. I highly suggest you reconsider-"
Regina cut him off. "I don't employ you for your opinions, Robin. I said you would be staying here and I meant it."
Robin scoffed. "But highness, please, I have seniority here and I don't think it's fair to-"
Regina shot him her infamous glare, causing him to freeze and clamp
his mouth shut. Emma looked on curiously. She had heard through the gossip of the men that Robin had a favorite brothel that he liked to frequent in the White Kingdom. A brothel that featured ten year old girls. Such a thing was outlawed in Kingdom Black.
Regina rolled her eyes. "Robin, don't be such a...Mother fucker."
Emma snorted so loudly the entire room heard her, and threw a hand over her mouth in panic. She blushed furiously as every eye was on her, including Robin's glare over his shoulder. She stared at the floor in embarrassment biting the inside of her cheeks, willing the smile to disappear.
Regina was glad the focus was pulled off her for a moment so she could smile at the reaction she got from the good captain. By the time everyone looked back at her she had regained her stoic glare and cleared her throat. She met Robin's shocked face and rolled her eyes. "Look, I know very well of your guilty little pleasure, and I don't appreciate you taking trips to the White Kingdom as your own personal opportunity for sexual deviance."
The entire room, including Emma froze. They all knew she was right, but for her to call him out on it so publicly was shocking.
Robin was white. "Your highness, I-"
"You've received my orders. Do you have anything else to say on the matter?"
Robin dipped his head in shame. "No, highness."
"Very well, then. We leave at day break. Dismissed."
The men filed out, Emma glancing over her shoulder with an appreciative smirk for the queen, who shyly smiled back.
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Emma was solemn as she made her way through the castle saying goodbyes. She had fought back the tears saying goodbye to Granny and Ruby, but when she rounded the corner to Henry's room she turned to mush.
"You're leaving!? But why?" He cried between his sobs.
Emma didn't even try to stop her own tears, too focused on Henry's pain.
"I have to kid, my job is for Queen Snow! I have to go back to the White Kingdom."
Henry had latched onto Emma's waist and wouldn't let go. He sniffled. "But why!? Why can't Regina be your queen? Then you could stay here forever!"
Emma thought how perfect that sounded, but it just couldn't be. Emma had made a vow. "It's not that easy, kid," she whispered as she kissed the top of his head. Tears streamed down her face as she hugged him fiercely for the last time. "I have to go. I love you, Henry!"
She hadn't planned to say it. She didn't WANT to say it. But just like cussing, it just came out. Henry gripped her tighter and sobbed.
"I love you too, Emma!" Emma sobbed silently into Henry's head, wondering why she had ever let herself fall so in love. No only with Henry, or with Regina, but with the whole idea of living in a kingdom with such harmony and peace as the Black Kingdom. She had only doomed herself to a life less than what she wanted. And it broke her heart that everything that she wanted...she was about to leave.
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The first day of travel went without incident, Emma keeping her distance well behind Will but close enough to keep an eye on Regina's carriage. Well, King Leopold and Queen Regina's carriage. From what the queen had told her, Emma could imagine the uncomfortable silence that occurred in that carriage. Even though she knew there was no sexual relationship there, Emma couldn't help but be jealous of the private time the king got to spend with Regina.
They made camp just before dark, and Emma watched as Leopold and Regina had private tents made for them. It must be a terrible marriage indeed, that even temporarily they couldn't share quarters. She was surprised at the queen's boldness when she received a summons into her private tent. She took a deep breath before pushing the canvas aside and entering the queen's sleeping quarters.
Regina was in her sleeping shift, and was glad to see the shocked reaction of the captain's face. Regina had never revealed herself out of "queen mode" to anyone as much as she had to Emma. She liked to, and even more she liked the reaction the captain had to her. Regina stood in front of the captain smiling.
Emma had to tear her eyes away from the incredibly arousing sight in front of her, bowing and dropping her eyes to her feet. "You asked for me, highness?"
Regina tweaked a smile. "Yes." She took a few steps toward the blonde and felt that familiar electricity spark. She smiled, peering up at the blonde that was at total attention. "Captain, I just wanted to..thank you for all you have done during your stay with us." Regina knew her words came out rigid, especially when she saw the annoyed raised eyebrow of the captain. She laughed into her next statement. "The skills and techniques you have taught my men are invaluable and I deeply appreciate the help over the last few months."
Emma stuck her tongue into her bottom lip, shaking her head at the obvious overly formal conversation they were having. She finally chuckled. "Really? All this formality from someone that not too long ago called the Captain of the Guard a...and I quote...Mother fucker?!"
Regina paused for a moment before she smiled, covering her mouth as she rasped out a laugh. The two women finally let out some tension as they laughed, holding their stomachs and wiping tears away as their emotions slightly released.
They sighed as they met eye contact, finally realizing the reason for this meeting. Goodbye.
Emma spoke first. She swallowed and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry. For treating you so badly when we first-when I knew who you were. I had preconceived notions about who you were and I-I'm sorry." Emma was heartfelt. She saw Regina nod and felt compelled to say one more thing. "And I-I think you're a great queen. and a great person." Emma swallowed thickly. "And I think you'll be a great mother to Henry."
Regina cocked her head, completely surprised at the captain's comments. She had to take a moment to regain her focus. "Th-thank you, though, I'm not sure that's exactly what's happening."
Emma smile sweetly and nodded. "Yes it is."
Regina smiled shyly before continuing. "Look, Captain. I just want you to know..." Their eyes met. "That I...will miss you...my friend." She accentuated the friend part just in case.
Emma looked up at her from a down turned face, smiling slightly. When she met the queen's eyes, she shook her head. "I-I will miss you too. It's-been a pleasure. Seriously."
Regina forced a laugh. "Well, we will be in Snow's kingdom for a week, anyway. It's not like we won't see each other after tomorrow." Regina sighed out audibly and stepped forward, taking Emma's hand in her own. They looked at each other, pleading in their eyes. Regina sighed into Emma's face. "I wish you could stay with me." She breathed.
Emma closed her eyes and squeezed Regina's hand. "I-I can't." She felt her eyes welling.
Regina took Emma by the back of the neck, pressing their foreheads together. "I know," she breathed. They met pleading eyes.
Emma took this last moment before she was back in Snow's guard, and gripped both sides of the queen's face. Their hungry eyes met, and Emma ran a finger across Regina's bottom lip before roughly pressing her own against them. She met the queen's lips chastely, repetitively and desperately several times before turning without daring another look and lumbering out of the tent. She brushed a tear from her eye as she set sights on her tent, her last night as a citizen of the Black Kingdom. Her stomach turned and sent her to the bushes, losing everything she had eaten in the last twelve hours. This was killing her.
Regina fell into her bed, burying her face into her pillow. She let several long sobs get swallowed by the pillow before sitting up and violently wiping the tears from her eyes. She took a deep breath, realizing she was not only passing into the most dangerous realm she possibly could, but the only person she trusted with her life was pledged to the other side. Regina squeezed her eyes shut as she realized she was about to walk into the cobra's lair. For some reason she felt like this visit would be different from the rest.
Emma retreated into her tent, struggling with her realization. Her loyalties had changed. Her vows made her loyal to Snow and the White Kingdom. But her heart; her heart and all her soul was undeniably drawn to Regina. Just what the hell was she going to do tomorrow?i