They have been there for so long that they start to settle down in a very ordinary life. Although the Doctor starts to show signs of healing, it is other things about him that start to get Clara's attention.
As in the first chapter, the title of this one also comes from the song 'I do' from Susie Suh
Once more, many thanks to misswinterseat for all her help!
Chapter 2 - You shed a light into this empty space
As soon as she had discovered that their stay at that place could be quite long, she decides to get a job, even under Maya's protests. They were already there for a few weeks and she doesn't want to be a burden or abuse their hospitality. Besides, a job will be good not only because the extra money to help with the house expenses, but also to keep her mind occupied with other things than her inability of helping the Doctor to recover his memory. So she starts to work at a little shop at the village, without caring about the daily walk through the dusty road that leads to there.
That entire memory loss thing seems to her just like the first days after the regeneration all over again. He is there, her dear friend, still the same man although slightly different. But this time she can see him, not because he still has the same face, but mainly because she can really see him, the Doctor, the man behind all the faces he has already had. She knows who he is inside his heart. Or hearts. And she can see that they are still the same and are still at the right place, even under his state of confusion and lost memories.
The Doctor, or John as he insists they should keep calling him, is now like a slightly softer version of himself, more like the glimpses she had caught of the man he was in private, on the quiet moments they shared at the TARDIS in between their adventures.
He still can be sharp tongued, frenetic and grumpy sometimes, in the best Doctor-y style, but his smiles come more easily and his eyes sustain her gaze longer these days. Eyes that now have an unusual light, warmth that she had already seen before on the rare moments the Doctor let his guard down or when he thought she wasn't looking.
At first, Clara doesn't know what to do of it and she blushes every single time he looks at her like that. And now, although more used to that, she still prefers not to think much about it, afraid of all the implications that might come along with that.
He rarely leaves the house and spends most of his time at the workshop, an old garage transformed years ago by Maya's late husband. At the beginning, he is forced to do it because of his injuries and that is what first leads him to start drawing.
Even knowing that he spends long hours filling the pages of the notebooks she gives to him, she has never done more than ask him to show her, never putting any pressure to see them, ignoring her own curiosity on behalf of his well-fare.
Besides, this kind of hobby of his is enough to keep him away from trouble until he is fully physically recovered and starts to get restless, in all his complete spooky and unnerving agitation. But instead of starting to pester everyone, as Clara first feared, he starts to fix things.
It begins with small things, like the kitchen cabinet's doors that had never properly closed and the uneven legs of the living room chairs. Then he moves to bigger ones; the old lawn mower when he sees Jamie kicking it in frustration because the old monster stopped working at the backyard; the roof tiles when he heard Maya complaining about the leaks on her bedroom after a particularly rainy night.
It doesn't take him much more time to start building things; a cart that Jamie can attach to the back of his bicycle to make the deliveries of the fresh jam Maya sells; a unnamed gadget that helps Maya to actually make jam in more quantity than her old kitchen utilities allow her.
Some people say that old habits die hard, and that lights up a spark in Clara's heart that maybe, finally, his mind is slowly coming back from the shadows where it has been.
He has been acting strangely on the last few days, even for the Doctor's standards or, for all that mattered, for John's.
At first, none of them think that the loud sounds coming from the workshop are something to be concerned about. Since he has started to fix and build things, they all think he is working on a new gadget, and nothing, besides the fact that he now always keeps the workshop locked, seems to be out of place.
Then his clothes start to have black stains, which look like oil, and it is unusual that he shows up for dinner with black spots on his face and hands just to be sent back to the washroom to clean himself before getting back to the table.
Maya is the first to notice his disappearances from the house, when she can't find him anywhere one afternoon. It worries her at first, but when he comes back less than half an hour later, with a bag full metallic trinkets he has fetched from the junkyard near by, and locks himself inside the workshop with nothing but a faint nod at her, she concludes that he surely is working on a new gadget and keeps it as their little secret.
A couple of days after his first disappearance, Maya hears a loud bang, like an explosion, coming from the workshop and runs outside to see what has happened.
There is black smoke coming from behind the doors and she knocks at it desperately calling his name. She is about to call for help when he finally opens the door, coughing hard, his face, hands and clothes blackened with dust and spots of that thing that seems to be oil.
"For the sake of the old Gods, John! What has happened to you? Are you hurt?"
He gently bates her hands when she reaches out for him and takes a deep breath before he can finally speak. "I'm fine, no need to worry," he coughs again and Maya pulls him away from the workshop and the smoke that is still coming from inside.
"Are you sure?"
He nods. "I may need a shower, though," he finally gives her a bashful smile looking at his poor appearance and shakes off some dust from his clothes. "But that is all."
"If you say so," she gives a couple of steps toward the house and waits for him to join her, what he eventually does after he carefully locks the workshop door. That doesn't go unnoticed on her and she watches him for a moment, before opening the front door and holding it open for him.
"I'll wait for you at the kitchen with a good cup of coffee and then you can tell me about what you are working on."
He opens his mouth to protest but she gently interrupts him with a smile and a lifted hand.
"If you are going to explode my workshop, at least I need to know why," she winks at him and walks away, leaving him standing at the doorway.
Fifteen minutes later he leans against the kitchen threshold, freshly bathed, hands on his pockets and that stern look on his face. There is a small scratch on his forehead, but nothing that deserves any more attention than clean water. She smiles and motions for him to sit, putting a mug of steamy coffee and a plate with biscuits in front of him.
"So?" She lifts an eyebrow when he keeps quiet. "Is there anything I need to know?" "There is nothing to worry about," he says taking a good sip from his coffee.
"One could completely disagree with you after what just happened," she sits at the table across him with a smile.
"It won't happen again. I can assure you."
He sustains her gaze for a long silent moment and she can tell that he is really confident about whatever he is doing in there.
"Don't want to tell me what is this you've been working on so hard?"
"Not yet," he smiles, a rare and honest smile that warms the blue of his eyes. "But you will know very soon, I promise."
She watches him for another moment and finally nods, a small smile forming on her lips. "All right. But don't put the house down, John, please."
He stands up, that warm smile still on his face. "I won't." - 0 – 0 -
It doesn't take him much longer to fulfill his promise to Maya. On the next day, he storms at the living room with a broad smile on his face as soon as he sees Clara and Jamie coming back from the village.
"I have something to show you," he proudly announces and the three of them look at him with curiosity. "All of you."
"Did you finally finish it?" Maya asks him and he nods, reaching out for her to escort her out side.
Clara looks at him with a silent question in her eyes and he just winks at her over his shoulder, causing her to smile and follow them out. They all stop in front of the workshop and watch while the Doctor vanishes through the door.
After a moment they all hear a loud bang coming from inside, followed for a curse and then the sound of a car engine starting. Jamie laughs out loud and runs inside the workshop while Maya stays there, mouth covered by her hand. It takes a moment longer for Jamie and the Doctor slide open the big workshop door, revealing Maya's old car inside, all clean, bodywork and headlights fixed and the engine miraculously working.
"I can't believe that!" Maya clasps her hands, her eyes sparkling with refrained emotion. "Oh, John, so this is your big secret?"
He just nods, shoving his hands inside his pockets and glancing at Clara to drink in the big smile dancing in her eyes. He needs to swallow before he can speak again. "It is nothing like a brand new car, but-"
Maya interrupts him wrapping him in a tight hug that makes him flinch slightly, terrified eyes searching for Clara in a silent ask for help. But she only pushes back a giggle. Still not a hugging person after all.
"Hope you can forgive me," he finally says when Maya lets go of him. "But it was a surprise."
"It is a lovely surprise, John!" She says, smiling broadly.
The car was abandoned inside the workshop for years because they never had enough money to fix it. And now, with it finally working again, it will make everything easier for them; Jamie will do the deliveries faster, it will help Maya on her tasks and even Clara won't have to walk to the village for work anymore.
"Don't you wanna try it?" He asks, all flustered after Maya had kissed him soundly on the cheek.
They all jump inside the car and Maya drives them around the block, honking happily. Seated next to him at the back seat, Clara watches him almost in awe, lost in the sound of his laughing, something so rare that bring tears to her eyes.
He catches her strange look and his eyes move to her, concern knitting his eyebrows together. "Are you ok?" He asks her, the smile faltering on his lips.
"Yes," she wraps her arm around his and rests her head on his shoulder with a little sigh, feeling him stiffen just for a second before he relaxes, his body leaning against hers slightly. "I really am," she smiles.
"What do you think about a little celebration at the city?" Maya is enthusiastic and Clara giggles, feeling her heart light, like she hasn't felt in a long time.
They go to the city; a drive of a little more than forty minutes and Maya shows them around. It is obviously much bigger than the little village they live near by, but it is just a small city in the middle of nowhere.
Maya takes them to an old pub she knows, a place where she used to go with her late husband, that has good food and good beer and they can enjoy themselves. Even the Doctor seems to have forgotten his usual grumpy and silent self and seems to enjoy himself, listening Maya's stories about the old times and occasionally laughing from Jamie's attempts to joke.
When they get home, hours later, they are all tired and undoubtedly happy, considering the smiles
that linger on their faces. Maya and Jamie retire to the house almost immediately, leaving Clara and the Doctor alone at the porch.
It always amazes her how quiet this place is and she lifts her eyes to the impressive starry sky upon them. He stands next to her, hands in his pockets, but she can feel his gaze on her, warm and intense, in that way that never fails to make her shiver.
"Maybe you should get inside," he says quietly, "it is getting cold out here."
She looks at him, her eyes gently searching his, for a moment without fear, without pain. Going on her tiptoes, she places a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you," she says, eyes never leaving his.
"For... what?" He stutters with that adorable look of confusion on his face and she feels a smile tugging on the corner of her lips.
"For everything," she says, her hand sliding gently on his arm.
After she disappears through the door he still stays there for a long time, unable to move, still feeling the soft touch of her lips on his skin.
"I'd like to ask you a favor," he comes to the kitchen one afternoon, hands in his pockets, expectant eyes watching Maya while he stands at the door.
"Sure! How can I help you, John?" She cleans her hands on the kitchen towel and, with a kind smile, motions her hand to ask him inside while she pours him a cup of coffee that she places over the table.
He nods his thanks and sits at the chair taking a long sip before he finally speaks.
"Can you teach me how to drive?"
She seems surprised by his request, but the smile is still on her lips when she answers him.
"Of course I can," she peeks at the big watch at the kitchen's wall and pats his arm. "Actually, I have some places to go today, so you can come with me for your first lesson. Drink your coffee and eat something while I change. Meet me at the porch in fifteen. Ok?"
He smiles at her. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me. I kind of owe you this," she winks at him and vanishes through the kitchen's door before he can say anything else.
When she had asked him to come with her, she could never think that his first lesson would become his only one. It takes him an hour or so to learn how to drive and she is certain that it would've taken him less if he weren't so stubborn. Yet, he is the fastest learner she has ever seen, and she thinks that it is because he already knew it before. So it is like his mind has just remembered it, even if not consciously.
Whether that is true or not, he can't say. He hasn't any remembrance of knowing how to drive, so he thinks that it is because he is just a clever man. But this he doesn't tell her. It sounds too smug even for him. Besides, he is thankful for her help, so he spends the rest of the afternoon driving Maya wherever she needs to be, crossing the dusty roads with restrained joy, although he thinks
that the smile playing on his lips gives him away.
"You still have time to pick Clara at the village," she says when he parks the car in front of the house some time later.
He shakes his head. "No. I can't do it yet."
When Maya lifts her eyebrows at him, he explains. "It's that I've been planning a surprise for her."
"A surprise?"
He shifts at his seat and bites his thumb, watching the road for a moment, before he speaks again. "I was thinking about taking her to dinner out, at the city. In one of that fancy restaurants you showed us the other day."
Maya face breaks in a broad smile. "It is a lovely idea! She will love it!"
He blushes, casting a glance at his hands on his lap before he looks at her once more.
"Do you think?"
"'Course she will!" She pats his arm, fondly. "Do you know how to get there by yourself?"
He thinks for a moment. "I think I will have to figure it out."
"Nonsense," she jumps out of the car and he does the same following her back to house. "We can go there tomorrow."
"It's very kind of you, but I don't-"
"Don't worry. Besides, I think that doing some shopping will make me some good." - 0 – 0 -
Maya wasn't lying when she told him about shopping. After showing him how to get to the restaurant, she takes him to a big shop and insists that they need to buy some new clothes for Clara and maybe something for him too.
"A girl needs to be on her best for a date," she states at his amazement and he freezes. He never thought about that as a date. But it is, isn't it? He is about to invite her in a real proper date and he catches himself thinking if he has ever done that before. But he can't remember. Besides, that doesn't matter. He still wants to do it, he still wants to take her out for dinner and it doesn't really matter how they will call that. As long as she likes it, as long as it makes her happy, nothing else matters to him.