"The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself."
- John Green
America
Maxon strolled through the doors to our study, looking over a file in his hands. "Did you know that Derrick is an expert mountain climber?" he asked me conversationally, sitting down at his desk as kept reading.
I set my pen down and looked at him. "Don't tell me that's a background check," I said.
"He wants to be in good favor with our daughter," he confirmed.
"If he really wants that he should consider not doing everything you say. Besides, we both know that they haven't spoken in weeks. The only way he's going to get back in her good graces is if he keeps pursuing her and makes her realize that he isn't scared of her being queen," I explained.
He raised his eyebrows at me. "Really? It's that simple?"
My phone rang abruptly. I held a finger up to tell Maxon to give me a minute and answered, "America here."
"Ames, it's Kenna."
"Hey, Ken, how's the happy couple?" I asked, referring to her recently wed daughter and new son-in-law.
She sighed. "A bit too happy, if you ask me. They can't keep their hands off of each other. It brings back memories of you and Maxon after you two got married. Or even engaged." I laughed out loud, making Maxon look up at me with a questioning look. I just waved it off and waited for Kenna to continue. "Anyway, I was just wondering if you needed me to do anything for the Halloween party this weekend?"
"Nope. Just show up on time." I winced and then added, "And keep Mom in check?"
"Oh, I'll be on top of that. We do not need anymore fountain incidents. Someone is here so I have to go. I'll see you on Friday!" She hung up the phone and I was still laughing from our conversation. Our relationship had truly blossomed over the years. Really, all of us siblings had really bonded in different ways as we all grew up. Gerad was still very much the baby, May was still the princess (no matter what the Illéan government said), and Kota was sort of the black sheep but we made sure to have small reunions once a year, sans children and spouses.
Justin, Maxon's oldest and most faithful butler, walked into our study, announcing that Amber had just arrived. Maxon and I both bolted from our seats and went downstairs to greet her. She was home for fall break, meaning that she had a whole five days at home. She tried to get us to let her travel to Cannes with friends but we quickly said no, knowing that a trip to Cannes never led down a safe path.
"Hello parents," she greeted, waving at us under heavy eyelids. She swayed slightly as she walked toward us and practically fell into Maxon's arms.
"Are you drunk?" I asked, my mouth hanging open.
She rolled her eyes and smiled dreamily. "Maybe I had a few too many mimosas on the plane but I'm fine. In fact, I am in a wonderful mood. Where are my siblings?"
"Studying," Maxon answered in a curt voice. He grasped her shoulders and set her safely on two feet. "Which you should be doing as well. I know you have homework to do over break."
"You're still enforcing that education crap?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Education crap?" he repeated. "That education is what will help you someday rule a country. You're the one who begged so desperately for us to let you go to college. I expect you to do more there than get drunk. Now, take your dinner in your bedroom tonight and sober up for tomorrow. You and your mother have an event in town to go to."
Her face fell and she looked over at me. "And you're still grooming me to be all prim and proper? Great. Can't wait to fuck it all up this time." My mouth fell open as I was rendered speechless. Maxon recovered quickly though.
"Amber Celeste Schreave!" Maxon barked, grabbing our eldest daughter's attention. "Do not ever talk to your mother like that, ever again. Understand? Go to your room and stay in there until you're in the right mindset to apologize to her. After this wonderful display you'll be lucky if I let you out of your room for anything except diplomatic functions."
She squinted her eyes at him as she walked away. "Why do you always use such big words?" she asked pensively.
We watched her go, both of us in varying states of shock. He started pacing and then finally held a hand up to me. "We'll talk about this later tonight," he said before I could say anything. Not that I could in the first place. I was still too in shock to react to anything that had just happened.
We went straight to dinner where Maxon seethed, stabbing his chicken forcefully with his fork. Khalil inquired multiple times if anything had happened, no doubt terrified that he had done something wrong, but I reassured him that for once he was not the one in trouble.
"Is Amber sick?" Annie asked, noticing her older sister's obvious absence.
"She's sick alright," Win mumbled behind her cup of coffee. Win was one-hundred percent Maxon's reincarnation, joking the most serious matters off with a blasé attitude until she was alone where she would pace and brood. It wasn't hard to conclude that her uncanny disposition was why she and I got along so well.
Annie frowned and looked at me when Win didn't elaborate. "You can see her tomorrow," I told Annie, preferring to not tell Annie about Amber's misbehaving if I could help it. I didn't want her to get any ideas of what was acceptable in this family.
"Mom, when is Shay coming home?" Khalil asked politely. He was always on his best behavior when Maxon was in a bad mood, knowing that the slightest thing could set his father off.
"Late tomorrow night. He has to dance in his last show and he'll leave straight from there," I told him. Khalil and Shay hardly ever got along but they were somehow inseparable. Almost as inseparable as Shay and Amber.
Khalil nodded at this bit of information. Maxon abruptly slammed his silverware on the table, wiped his napkin across his mouth, and stormed out of the room. I smiled grimly at the kids and told them I'd be back to say goodnight to them later, following my husband out of the room shortly thereafter.
I found Maxon in our bedroom, suit coat discarded haphazardly on the floor. He was tugging on his tie in anger, wincing when he pulled on it too hard and practically choked himself. "I know I shouldn't be this angry but…I mean…c'mon," he vented to me. "I thought she was over this."
Amber had gone through a bit of a rebellious phase that really wasn't a huge surprise given her tenacious temperament. But Maxon was right – after meeting Derrick and seeing his effect on her, we thought those days were over. "You know why she's acting out," I told him.
"Well she better be sober when she sees that damn boy on Saturday night," he said, sliding his shoes off.
"Wait, what?"
He raised his eyebrows at me like it was supposed to be obvious for me. "I invited Derrick to the party," he explained.
"You invited him here? Like, here at the palace here? Like, going to see Amber in a public setting here?"
"Should I not have done that?" he asked in a voice that made it clear he hadn't thought it was a bad idea until now.
"Maxon!" I said in exasperation. "I know you like this guy, I do too, but we can't push this relationship. Us endorsing this relationship is just the thing that'll make her hate it. We can't just invite him here and expect her to fall into his arms."
He chewed on his bottom lip. "We can make this work though. Maybe we could fabricate it to look like he snuck in."
I crossed my arms. "Like a stalker?"
"Exactly! Or a creep!" He paused and frowned as he rethought it. "Maybe not then. But maybe she'll surprise us and not spontaneously combust on the spot when she sees him."
With a sigh I sat down next to him on our bed. He slid his arm around my shoulders and I rested my head against his neck. "Who knew they'd be easier to deal with in diapers?" I asked.
Maxon laughed but there wasn't much humor there. "I just want her to be happy."
"Me too."
There was another long moment of silence. "Maybe we could hold a Selection and he just so happens to be picked," he suggested.
I shook my head and stood up. "You are nothing but trouble," I told him, taking his hands in mine. I tried to pull him up to his feet but he obviously had other ideas when he pulled me down so that I was in his lap. "You really are trouble."
"If I recall correctly, you once tried to abolish the entire caste system in one night," he teased, his fingers searching for the zipper of my dress.
"For Pete's sake, that was twenty years ago. Ever heard the phrase, let it go?"
He laughed and tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth. "And to think here we are, no more castes, happily married with a brood of rebellious children, twenty years later. Wow, we're getting old." I wanted to protest, especially the part about the rebellious children but he did have a point. Besides, he had found my zipper.
It was a hot day for a tea, unseasonably hot for late October. The humidity made it clear to my maids that my hear had to be up or it would be a big puffball by the end of the afternoon. They were able to twist it into an elegant side braid so that I could still wear a hat that would block the sun. I put on a soft ivory dress and walked into our bedroom, spinning slowly in a circle for my husband to see.
"What do you think?" I asked as I twirled.
He smirked from where he was still lying under the sheets, completely in the nude. "I think that dress would look a lot better on the floor without you in it," he answered suggestively.
"Well I think that I am going to need a double shot of espresso with the way you kept me up all night."
"What's so wrong with me wanting to remind myself that I'm not as old as I let myself believe?" he defended. "I didn't hear you protest once. Funny though, you actually seemed to be egging me on. There was a lot of 'Maxon, keep going' being spoken. Or should I say cried?"
I blushed a furious shade of crimson and walked to the bathroom to check my reflection. My hat covered it but there were a few gray hairs at my temples and spread sporadically along my hairline. I knew that redheads normally went gray the earliest but I wasn't ready to accept the change in hair color. Not when I still had a ten-year-old daughter. I sighed and flipped the lights off as I left the bathroom. "What's gotten into you, anyway?"
"Maybe it's just watching our daughter fall in love that's rekindling some of that youthful desire I feel for you," he guessed.
"She is not falling in love."
He nodded even though I knew he didn't agree with me at all. "And you are not my dear." I pointed at him, ready to argue but I didn't have a comeback at all. "I'll see you at dinner, my dear," he said as I walked out of his bedroom.
Amber was waiting in the hall leading out to the gardens, tapping her foot impatiently. For all intents and purposes, she did look rather elegant and put together. The sunglasses were not the best accessory though. Despite how lovely she looked and how wonderful my night had been, I was still furious at her. "So tell me, were you surprised to wake up in your old bed this morning or did you actually remember arriving home last night?"
She frowned and pressed her fingers to her temple. "Yes, I remember. Do you have to talk so loud?" she groaned.
"Oh, so you remember the way you talked to me last night?" I crossed my arms and waited for what I knew was going to be a sarcastic response.
"Yes, Mother, I do in fact remember that. I can actually hold my liquor better than you all seem to think."
I rolled my eyes. "You can only hold your liquor because you drink it so often. Which, FYI, is going to change."
"Or what?" she challenged, sliding her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose so that I could see her narrow her eyes at me.
"Or we're sending you to rehab."
She laughed out loud and put her sunglasses back in place. "Yeah, right."
"Amber, I'm serious. Say goodbye to college, say goodbye to parties on the weekends, say goodbye to drinking with your brother."
"You and Dad would never do something that would jeopardize the image of this family like rehab. He's too noble and you're too caught up in trying to keep the people in favor of us," she snapped.
Daphne had just rounded the corner with her youngest daughter, Emma, in tow. "Tell me, do you think Derrick would visit you if you were in rehab?" I finally snapped, searching for a way to get under her skin so that maybe she would see my point. She just sighed and stormed into gardens despite the bright sunshine, no doubt in search of champagne.
Daphne raised her eyebrows as she approached. "Drama in the Schreave family?" she asked with a humorous lilt in her voice.
"Oh, you know, never a dull moment," I said, passing it off casually. I embraced my sister-in-law and niece quickly, already starting to sweat from the heat. Part of me was starting to consider moving this party inside to the atrium but more guests were already arriving behind Daphne. It would have to be outside.
"We'll catch up later, okay?" Daphne asked. "You can tell me all about it."
I smiled gratefully at her and then focused on the guest behind her; the governor's wife from Clermont. People started to blend together as they often did at these events and by the end of the line of guests I could use a drink myself. I was just about to ask for a belini or something cool to drink when Silvia approached me, looking frantic. "Your Majesty, we've run out of cucumber sandwiches already!" she exclaimed.
"Okay, Silvia, no problem," I told her calmly. Twenty years with me as a host had not yet taught her to treat every problem delicately and with patience. "I'll just go down to the kitchens and tell the cook to make what he can."
"But, Your Majesty, the guests…" she stammered.
"Are plenty entertained Silvia. I think they can manage without me for ten minutes." I patted her shoulder and walked down to the kitchens before she could protest. The cook assure me that he could have several batches of cucumber sandwiches sent up within a half hour. I was on my way back up to the party, relishing air conditioning, when a voice stopped me.
"Mrs. Schreave?"
I turned and standing before me was no one else but Derrick. "Derrick, what are you doing here?" I asked. Thank goodness Maxon had told me he was coming or I would have been completely shocked. I just hadn't expected him to be here this early.
"Mr. Schreave invited me and Shalom and I decided to fly in early," he explained. "I was just touring the palace."
"And hoping to run into Amber?" I asked him, smiling knowingly. He bowed his head as he blushed. "She's in the gardens right now for the tea but don't worry a bit Derrick, you'll see her tomorrow night at the ball."
He frowned. "Not at dinner tonight?"
"Sorry, she's going with Maxon and Winifred to a gala in the city tonight."
"Oh, that's okay. I don't mind spending time with Shalom and getting to know her other siblings," he resolved. I smiled at him and turned away but he called me back. "Mrs. Schreave, she's not going to kill me for showing up here, is she?"
I couldn't help but laugh at the hint of genuine fear in his voice. "Derrick, on my second date with Maxon I kneed him in the groin. Keep in mind that she has my blood in her when she's cross with you. In fact, I'm sure Maxon would be willing to give you some tips on how to deal with an unruly Schreave woman."
He laughed and nodded. "Thank you, Mrs. Schreave." I watched him go down the hallway before going back out to the gardens. Almost immediately I was swept up in conversation with one of Maxon's cousins. As she prattled on about the new dog they had just gotten I tuned her out and observed Amber from across the gardens. She was standing up straight with her chin lifted, the very image of poise. Somehow she was carrying on a civil conversation with Emma and Daphne.
"Your Majesty," a loud voice greeted me, interrupting Maxon's cousin. The queen of Angloterra approached me with a sly smiled on her face. She was friends with Queen Oyun and has a son the same age as Amber and Shay. "How are you today?" she asked.
Maxon's cousin slowly backed away, sending me an apologetic smile as she went. I faced the queen and offered her a diplomatic smile. "Queen Carmina, it is a pleasure to see you again."
She laughed as if I had said something truly hilarious. "Oh, Queen America, you are as kind as ever. Now tell me, what is the nature of your daughter?"
"I'm sorry?" I asked, knowing that her English wasn't perfect.
"Any suitors?" she clarified. "I heard that the president of Chile put in an offer for the princess's hand but one can never be sure if these rumors are true."
I had to try really hard not to make a disgusted face at her. "Queen Carmina, my daughter does not have any suitors lined up right now nor will she any time soon. She is free to marry anyone she likes."
Queen Carmina raised her eyebrows. "Even if she has to give up the throne?"
"Yes, even if she has to give up the throne. King Maxon and I both agree that we do not want our children to have to marry out of obligation to the monarchy," I informed her, starting to get impatient. Honestly, monarchs had been asking me about Amber's marital status since she had turned fifteen and it made me sick to my stomach. She really wasn't even of age yet and she had been receiving proposals for years now.
"How…democratic of you," she said snidely, searching for the right word. "We'll be in touch though, correct? My Ricardo is quite a catch." She winked for extra emphasis.
I smiled at her because otherwise I was going to just lose all self-control and start screaming at her. "If we're in touch, we'll be speaking about trade and other negotiations. Not my daughter's or any other of my children's relationships." Without another word Queen Carmina spun on her heel and left me.
Amber walked up to me and sighed. "Let me guess, another marriage proposal?" she asked.
"What was your first clue?" I asked, taking her glass of champagne so I could drink it.
"You looked about ready to hit her with your fan," Amber joked.
I nodded. "Well, believe me, it was quite tempting." I was about to tell her about Derrick being at the palace but decided that now would not be the time or place to get into that conversation. "In case I don't see you, please behave tonight. You need to set a good example for Win."
"Yes, Your Majesty," she said, curtsying and then going to join some of her cousins by the dessert table. Most of my anger at her vanished as I observed her. For all her faults and failures, she still presented herself as a queen. In truth, I was somewhat upset with Maxon because I knew that Derrick's presence and their reunion the next night only had two possible outcomes and one of them would hurt Amber deeply. She was my little girl; it was responsibility to protect her.
Amber
"Amber, you're going to be late if you keep dawdling like this," Mom groaned from my doorway.
Mom and Dad were more concerned than usual with my punctuality and it was starting to wear on my nerves. I wasn't the fondest of public gatherings, especially ones on this scale. The Halloween Ball was one of the biggest balls we held at the palace all year, if not the biggest. So I had drunk a bit too much the night before, causing me to get a late start to the day. I wasn't used to suddenly having any obligations besides homework and showing up to class on time.
I looked around my room for my mask, waving for my mom to go ahead. Dad had already lost his patience with me – he had actually lost patience with me two nights ago when I arrived – and had gone downstairs with Win, Khalil, Shay, and Annie. "Mom, go ahead. I'll meet you down there. I just have a few things left to do."
"I would really like to walk with you," Mom argued.
"Seriously Mom. Are you going to come in the bathroom with me while I pee?" That made her leave, muttering something about using the bathroom before putting on a corset.
She and Dad still dressed up for the ball even though from what I understand, their costumes had died down a bit after Shay and I were around three. Tonight they were dressed up as the main characters from a movie series that was popular back before the third World War. I was dressed up as an old queen, Marie Antoinette. I had a towering blonde wig that swayed slightly every time I bent over in the slightest way.
It made it difficult to walk down the steps and when I was halfway down to the Great Room I realized I had forgotten my gloves. Piss off my parents by being late or go back for my gloves? I asked myself. It was a no-brainer. My costume had to be perfect.
Just as I made it up to the second floor landing a painfully familiar voice called out to me. "Amber? Is that you?"
I spun slowly, not wanting that voice to belong to the person I thought it did. But sure enough, standing not ten feet away from me, was Derrick. "What're you…" I wrapped my arms around my back, terrified that my first instinct when I saw him was to throw my arms around him. Luckily I remembered rather quickly that I was supposed to be mad at him. "What are you doing here?" I tried again, this time succeeding at making my voice sound angry.
"I…I had to talk to you," he said, skirting around my question.
"So you just walked into the home of Illéa's royal family?" I asked skeptically. He looked stricken as he looked me up and down, taking in my costume. It was then that I realized how impeccably he was dressed. How he was dressed in an ancient military uniform, one that Count Ferson would have worn. Only one person could have orchestrated this. "I can't believe my father actually brought you here," I growled as I kept walking up the steps to the third floor.
I knew without having to look that Derrick was following me. "He's worried about you. Amber, this behavior, this going out on weeknights and going to dignitary functions drunk or high…it isn't you."
I spun on him, not nearly as effective as I planned since I had to steady my wig with my hand. "You barely even know me!" I exploded. A few guards walking down the hallway looked alarmed but bowed when I smoothed my face out. "You don't know me, Derrick. You think you do but you only know the me that I am at college. You don't know the me that lives in this world."
"Then let me get to know that you," he insisted, stepping up closer to me.
"No, stay back," I said, holding up my hand to stop him.
"Amber, I…I love you, okay? I could care less about your drinking or being a queen. I love you just the way you are," he professed.
I frowned, shrinking away from him. We had to end this conversation. It was the same fight we'd had back after the ballet and I was done with all of this. "You can't love me, Derrick. I am not going to let you come into this world. You're too good; it would destroy you."
He shook his head. "Amber, I don't care."
"And that's why I can't let you get any closer to me. If you don't believe me, just look at my mom. She was kind and then married my dad and bombed out half of New Asia. I'm not going to let that happen to you," I said.
"I think we both know what this is all about Amber. You actually want to be queen someday and you're terrified so you are using me as an excuse to not think about. You're only pushing me away because you're trying to hide the fact that you don't want to be queen."
"You don't know anything about what I want!" I exclaimed, finally reaching the third floor. I walked through the line of guards at the steps. They drew their swords and blocked Derrick when he tried to follow me. "Stop trying to understand my life because you can't. There's no way you can."
He sighed, looking desperate. "Don't shut me out, Amber. I want to understand. Let me in, let me learn. I can support you as queen. I can stand by you. If that's all you want, then so be it. If you want me to just stay in the background while you rule the country, fine. But don't you dare use me as an excuse to not be queen."
I had to turn away from him so he wouldn't see the tears pooling quickly in my eyes. He was too good to be king. If I married him I wouldn't be able to be queen; I could never doom him to that lifestyle. That's not what bothered me though. It was that he could so easily see that in me. He didn't need me to say for him to know; he could just tell. Already he knew me so well. That was exactly why things had to end as soon as possible. "You should go," I finally said, grinding the words out between my teeth. It was no use though; he could hear the sadness in my voice.
"I really hope you can accept your fear and just let yourself feel, Amber," he said in a sad voice. Almost like he pitied me. "Too many people confuse emotion for weakness when it's really just the opposite. Fear makes you do stupid things, Amber but love makes it all worth that fear."
"Just go," I pleaded, no longer trying to hide my tears. I waited until I heard the guards sheath their swords before moving to my bedroom and picking up my gloves. I stopped in my bathroom and gently dapped at my eyes with a tissue.
"Okay Amber," I said to myself, "stop crying in ten, nine, eight, seven…" Another sop ripped through me, halting my countdown. I sniffed again. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…" I had to stop to take a deep breath but I kept going. "Three, two, one." I stared at myself in my mirror. Now I looked like the nightmare version of Marie Antoinette. By now my parents had surely gone into the party, giving up on waiting for me.
I took a make-up wipe and just started redoing my make-up where I needed to. I had just finished my mascara when I heard a door slam in the room next to mine. Seems like I wasn't the only Schreave having a rough night. I walked down the hallway to my twin brother's room, prepared to go inside and see what all the ruckus was when I heard a female voice from inside.
"Shalom, it's complicated," Shel pleaded.
"No it really isn't all that difficult. Don't you see that I have real feelings for you? I'm not going to just be your rebound. I'm not going to be my own undoing," he argued. I pressed my ear against the door so I could hear better.
"Don't you know that I broke up with Jackson because I wanted to be with you?"
Someone sighed. I guess it was Shalom. "So you want something you can't have? Are you sure it's not just lust?"
"I'm sure," she said. There was a long pause before she finally confessed something that made me almost fall on the floor. "I slept with him, Shay." I gripped the edge of the doorframe, sensing there was more to come. "It wasn't the same as when I was with you."
I fairly collapsed against the door, making a rather loud thud. "Shit," I whispered, making a dash for a window and barely making it behind the large curtains before the door opened. Not that Shalom would have a problem with me eavesdropping; he was going to give me a whole play-by-play of this conversation later. But I knew my twin brother well enough that when he was in a bad mood you did not want to set him off anymore. He was a lot like Dad in that way. Figuring that I had heard enough, I waited by the window and mulled things over until this argument ended and Shel was gone.
As I waited, I distracted myself from my confrontation with Derrick by thinking about Shel's bomb back there. My baby brother had sex and never even told me. That ass. We had made a pact long ago that we would tell each other when we had done it for the first time. I wasn't sure if I was more upset about him breaking the pact or him having sex before me.
After what felt like ages, Shel finally emerged from the room and stormed down the hallway. Shalom followed after her shortly, pausing and deciding to take a passageway down so as to avoid her just in case. I couldn't blame him. I took the same passage down the party five minutes later.
Mom and Dad were tied up with Gammy across the way so I managed to escape their wrath for the immediate future. Instead I found my twin brother standing on the outskirts of the party, alone except for a glass of champagne that he was sipping from gingerly. After hearing what I had just heard and knowing my twin rather well, I knew that he was wishing that the champagne were something much stronger.
I sidled up next to him, scanning the crowd for any sign of Derrick. "I know you heard it so just say what you have to say and be done with it," Shay grumbled.
I shrugged. "I just wish you had told me you had slept with her," I admitted.
"It was for her protection, not mine. I could care less if Mom and Dad found out that I'd had sex but if they found out it was with her, especially when she had a boyfriend at the time…like I said, I wanted her to stay clean in everyone's eyes," he explained.
"I understand." He looked at my doubtfully before finishing the rest of his champagne in one go. "Really, I do. It's not easy being us."
He was quiet for a few moments before trying to change the subject. "You missed the big entrance."
"Boo hoo."
"Dad's pissed."
"Let him be pissed at me." I faced Shalom and said, "Did you know he invited Derrick to the palace for the ball?" He clenched his jaw and kept his eyes forward, his silence speaking louder than anything he could've said. "Holy shit, you did know."
He sighed, gearing up for another argument. "Honestly AC, where do you think he was all day yesterday and today while you were busy getting drunk?"
I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms defensively. "Oh please, don't you start too. Not when I know that you'll be up on the roof within an hour with Win getting high."
"Winifred is actually quite distracted by Officer Dumphrey."
"Fuck you," I spat, storming away from him. If he wanted to harbor secrets than so be it, I would talk to my other siblings about it. I was halfway across the room to seek out Khalil when I realized that I really couldn't talk to my other siblings. None of them knew anything about my relationship with Derrick, at least not like Shalom did. None of them knew me as well as Shalom and vice versa. I was alone.
I caught Dad's eye from across the room and could see that he was five seconds away from coming my way and chewing me out for being late. I cursed myself for not picking a more subtle headpiece to wear. If I wanted to avoid a public confrontation with Dad I would have to do something drastic. And fast. Assessing my options I realized that I was close to the platform where the musicians were playing.
I wasn't nearly as drunk as I wanted to be for this but I had been wasted enough to know how to act. Snatching the microphone from the stand where it was vacant, the band stopped playing and I tapped on the microphone, testing that it was on. I added a sway to my stance to play it up. Dad stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me up there.
"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors…or should I say friends and people who were only invited here because we had to?" I asked, slurring my words only slightly. "It's a beautiful night for a ball, isn't it?" No one said anything, they all just watched me. So this was how it felt to be the absolute center of attention. I saw Derrick's big blue eyes staring up at me from where he was standing with Shalom. My brother was just wearing an annoyed grimace like he was tired of my games. I was a little tired of my games as well.
"I just wanted to thank my parents for putting on another grandiose ball. Really, isn't it great that we can all gather here together when there are other people in the country starving? I mean, I love the poetic justice of standing around talking about how to fix world hunger while feasting on food that costs more than half the country's mortgages combined." Mom looked infuriated as she clutched Dad's shoulders in her hands. She did look pretty terrifying in the cargo pants, black shirt and jacket ensemble with the bow and arrows slung over her shoulders and the focused look in her eyes.
No one else dared to move or say anything. "I'd also like to thank my dear brother for never giving up on me and never disappointing me. Well, except for just now when I found out that he'd conveniently forgotten to tell me that he'd lost his virginity." A shocked gasp echoed through the room and for the briefest of moments my parents focused their attention on him. "But I mean, what's a royal family without a little premarital sex, right?" Shalom looked absolutely ready to rip me apart. Derrick had his hand on Shay's shoulder like it was the only thing keeping my twin brother from dragging me off this stage. "Just don't forget to use protection, little brother. Wouldn't want to have any babies at eighteen, right? Although, it's not too far off from Mom and Dad. My mother was only twenty when she had me." I risked a glance at my parents. Though they looked about two seconds away from disowning me I knew they wouldn't dare risk their perfect image by pulling me down from the platform.
But Uncle Aspen would.
His arm wound around my waist as he pried the microphone out of my hand. "Oh, hi Uncle Aspen. Tell me, how does it feel being a home wrecker? I mean, you are the one who made out with my mom while she was in the Selection, right?" The glint in his eye was enough to tell me that I had gone too far and that it was lucky that I didn't have the microphone anymore. No one knew that about Mom except for people in our family and I could only imagine the field day if the press did find out. This event was closed to the press but I knew my stunt would be front page news in the morning with a heavily doctored photo of me plastered on the glossy paper.
Uncle Aspen pulled me out into the hallway. Mom and Dad were on the opposite side of the room from the door we gone through and it would take them a while to catch up. "I'm not drunk. I can walk just fine," I growled to Uncle Aspen as he pulled me by the elbow down the hallway.
"What on earth would possess you to do that, Amber?" he demanded. He wasn't my actual father but he was my godfather and that somehow made getting yelled at by him so much worse. He was different at yelling than Dad. Dad would explode but quickly expel all of his energy. Uncle Aspen would speak to me in that soft but angry tone.
"Please, Uncle Aspen, spare me the lecture. Surely you know that I'll be getting one from my parents before the night is out." I didn't wait for him to respond; I just kept walking up to my room. Once there I grabbed a bottle of some of my most expensive wine and went out on to my balcony, sitting against the railing and drinking it slowly.
I was about halfway through the bottle before the tears finally overwhelmed me. I was barely even drunk but I couldn't rein in my emotions this time. How had I managed to screw everything up so quickly? First Derrick, then Shalom, and now parents. Who was left in my life? All of the most important people to me now hated me, more or less. Not to mention the fact that this night would follow me for the rest of my life. Oh the perks of being a princess.
The door to my room opened and I knew it was my parents without even having to look. I kept my head in my arms so that I wouldn't have to see the anger written on their faces. That's why I was surprised to hear just my dad's voice say in a very sad tone, "Oh, my poor princess." It wasn't sarcastic or conniving at all; he really did sound like he pitied me.
I peeked just enough to see Dad sit down slowly next to me. Sometimes it seemed like he was as young and virile as ever but sometimes his age did show like whenever he had to sit down on the ground or lift something heavy. The arthritis in his shoulder didn't really help.
"Is it too much for me to say that you royally screwed up?" he asked, taking the wine bottle from me.
"I think so," I sniffed, waiting for him to be angry. This wasn't the version of my father I expected at all.
"I am mad at you. Not nearly as mad as your mother but I'm more sad than angry. I know this is mostly my fault so it's no use for me to be angry about you retaliating," he admitted. "Granted, I wish you had retaliated in a more private setting but I have to say, it took balls to do what you did tonight."
I actually managed to laugh. "Thanks Dad."
"Seriously, I never would have dared to do that."
"I think your punishment would have been far worse than mine," I said, referring to the relationship I knew he had with his own father. It was hard to imagine someone actually beating my dad but Mom had explained that it was different back then…that Dad was different back then. "What is my punishment, by the way?"
He took a long drink out of the bottle before answering. "I think we'll let the press dole this one out, okay? And I could give this back so you have a hangover to deal with as well. You have enough to repent for with Shalom and Derrick." He leaned closer to me as if to share a secret. "I knew about Shalom by the way."
"You did?" I asked, more shocked than ever.
"I am his father. Just like you would probably go to your mom with help on that subject matter, he came to me. And he did want to tell you, he just didn't know how to explain it to you. I think he suspected that you wouldn't want to hear about his sex life, pact or no pact," Dad explained.
I nodded. "Where's Mom?" I asked out of curiosity. Dad normally was the one to have heart-to-hearts with me whereas Mom was a bit more harsh with me but I think that's more because I was Dad's little girl. Just like Shalom was Mom's little prince.
"Where do you think? You're not the only one who had a rough night." So she was with Shalom. "Seriously, Amber, I'm sorry. I didn't think that having Derrick here would cause you so much pain. I didn't realize it until I remembered what it was like to be in your position. Falling in love is scary when you know how much you're asking of that person, isn't it?"
"It's a royal pain," I agreed. "But it didn't work out too badly for you. Even if Mom didn't want to be princess, you still go her in the end."
He shrugged. "In the end. Doesn't mean that it was a smooth process getting there."
"Yes, Dad, I know. I've heard your little Cinderella story enough."
He crossed his arms defensively. "Hey, I'm rather fond of my Cinderella story."
I laughed again. "Yeah, because you've gotten your happily ever after." He smiled sadly at me, recognizing that there was a lot more emotion behind my words than what I was letting on. I felt a fresh wave of tears coming on then. "I'm sorry Daddy. So sorry," I sobbed, letting him hug me in a way he hadn't hugged me in years.
"It's okay kiddo, you're already forgiven." He kissed the top of my head gently and then held me tighter. "And this is so much more than happily ever after."
A good long chapter tonight to make up for the long wait! Thank you so much for bearing with me and the long updates. I only have a few weeks left of the semester so its kind of crunch time. I had a huge paper due this morning so I wasn't able to get much fun writing done until that was done. But again, thank you for the support! Hope it was worth it!
Exciting news! There is a Maxon POV chapter coming up in a few. I know a lot of you really wanted another one because i know that they are few and far between with this Fic. I do enjoy getting in Maxon's head but right now there's just too much going on with America and Amber for me to spare a chapter on his POV. I finally found the right chapter to do from his POV so you'll have one whole chapter that's exclusively from his POV, still carrying with the plot of this fic. Also, the next chapter may very well be exclusively from Amber's POV just so I can hurry things along for now. America doesn't have much to say right now so it may be a shorter chapter but you get more Amber (and maybe more Derrick?)
kuriyantako: i am very happy! Pretty relieved now that I got this chapter posted because the plot really picks up now. Now i can really sink my hands deep into this and get into it.
Weatherbug02: i did a little family tree/update on chapter 45, i believe. idk, which ever chapter was the one that picked up first with Amber. check 44 and 45; it should be there. the only one not on there is Emma, Kota's daughter because she really is pretty insignificant.
Emmy: i'm going as fast as i can. Please, if i don't update quickly, don't assume that i'm just being lazy. College is really demanding (especially this close to finals) and some days I just simply cannot write. Hope you understand!
Guest: Are you okay?! I can't give the heimlich through a computer screen but i am sending you good thoughts!
LeftByTheGalaxy: I think that's one I'm going to have to leave to other Fic authors. Gerad, as fun as he is, is not the focal point of this fic right now. There's the slightest potential for a chapter from his POV later on down the road but I'm not exactly in his mind set right now to be able to do a chapter for him.
Mac: things are heating up for Damber!
Someone the World Forgot: Oh, believe me, there are plenty of plot twists. and i think i'm officially calling them Damber!
prnamber3909: i can understand that these chapters are kind of like sensory overload right now because i am just trying to set everything up for more drama to come and i'm throwing a lot at you guys.
Divine Protector of Apples: hopefully you have a clearer idea of why he's so protective of Amber now after this chapter. She's his little girl and he's determined to not let her get hurt.