Chapter 3: I'm HOW old?

The tests over the next few days were spread out due to the kids having to go to school. At Simon's request, Dave had been bounding around the house and learning how to do everyday tasks in his new 11 inch body. He had been taken to his limit with all of his tests, whether it was analysing his sense of smell or testing his reflexes. Luckily after the first test, he was passing every one with flying colours. Everybody was actually impressed with his results, regarding that Dave had approached every challenge shaking like a furry maraca.

It was finally Saturday, which meant that the final test could be assessed. Dave woke up to the sunlight shining in his eyes; he blinked and slowly opened them while uncurling from the ball he had slept in. After stretching like a dog, he jumped off his bed and pulled on a white casual top Eleanor made for him and a jacket he had borrowed from Alvin. It was weird to not wear any bottoms, but seeing as the boys didn't have a problem with it, Dave supposed he shouldn't either.

He was usually the first one awake, so it was a surprise for him to see Simon and Jeanette sitting together on the table as he walked into the kitchen. They were both pouring over the note book that had all of Dave's results. They were so focused, that Dave scared the crap out of them when he leapt onto the table. He laughed as Jeanette clutched her heart and Simon jumped back into his bowl of cornflakes.

"Don't do that!" Jeanette cried. She stood up and helped Simon out of the bowl.

"Sorry about that," Dave chuckled. Simon sent a scowl in his direction, which he ignored, "So, what's going to happen today?"

"Well,' Simon began, still glaring at the black furred chipmunk, "Your last test will be on your tree climbing skills, which means we'll be able to assess your balance and grip at the same time."

"Sounds like fun," Dave replied unenthusiastically. He had been dreading this test as it was the most risky off all of them. One slip up and he could be seriously injured.

AATCAATCAATC

By 9 o'clock, the rest of the house was fully awake. The Seville's trundled out into the backyard to the massive oak tree; a light breeze caused the grass to tickle their legs teasingly. Alvin and Brittany led the group, followed by the green clad couple and the bespectacled couple, Jeanette carrying the notebook. Dave was last, nerves yet again getting the better of him.

When they came to the roots, everyone circled around to look at Dave as Jeanette spoke, "Okay, this is how this is going to work. Dave, you're going to step onto that root over there and start to climb. Brittany will start before you, Theodore and Eleanor will be behind you in case you slip. Alvin will climb next to you and talk you through it. You should be fine as long as you listen properly."

'When haven't I listened properly?' Dave thought as Brittany sprinted at the tree and jumped at the trunk, sticking to it like Velcro. He and Alvin walked side by side to the root that Jeanette had indicated to. Dave noticed that Alvin's claws were unsheathed on all four paws, so he decided to do the same to look like he had some idea of what he was doing.

"Okay, as long as you relax and listen you'll be fine," Alvin instructed. He started to demonstrate as he talked. He dug his claws into the bark as if he was rock climbing and hauled himself up, Dave cautiously followed suit. "Good, now pretend that you're crawling down a hallway and your instincts should kick in after a couple of seconds. The first few steps are always nerve wracking for first timers."

It was a slow start as Dave cautiously hauled himself up, placing each paw carefully before moving. Eventually after a minute or two, he started to speed up as he gained confidence; his claws grappling the bark with a definitive crunching noise. Theodore and Eleanor followed at a decent distance, encouraging Dave every now and then while Simon and Jeanette observed from the ground. Alvin kept giving tips and instructions, watching Dave closely. Gradually, they reached the first branch 5 metres up where Brittany was sitting.

"Jump up next to me." said Brittany. Dave did exactly that and to his surprise, it was easier than he thought. He stood up and slid over that Alvin could join them. Now that they had reached that point, it was time to keep jumping from branch to branch to the top of the tree. 10 minutes later, after a few near misses that caused everyone to have miniature heart attacks and reminded Dave why he had Vertigo, they were enjoying the countryside scenery. That was worth all the worry and nervousness.

Now it was time to go back down. This was a little easier because all Dave had to learn was to leap downwards and keep a controlled slide. It only took five minutes to get back down. Simon and Jeanette were beaming as widely as the rest as Theodore clapped Dave on the shoulder. "Well done Dave," he congratulated. Dave grinned at his youngest son and hugged him.

"So how did I do?" asked Dave.

"Excellent!" praised Jeanette, "Dave, you've shown all the qualities that we wanted to achieve with our Solution. Your instincts come in quickly and efficiently, your senses are as strong as any of ours. That's pretty impressive for somebody whose species have let their own in superior instincts to go waste and have the ability to only destroy nature."

Dave felt a little insulted at that last part, but he chose to ignore it as Simon added, "But it seems that we've done a little more than just change your species. From the results we've got, you have a lot more energy and stamina than the average adult chipmunk, which means that you're age must've reduced as well.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Brittany exclaimed in alarm. The other chipmunks looked confused too, "What do you mean, his age has reduced?"

"I mean, "Simon concurred," We'll have to get a blood test done to confirm it, but if I'm right, Dave can't be any older than 16 years old!"

There was a stunned silence until Dave broke out of his shock, "I'm HOW old?...I'm a-a teenager? Again?" This can't be happening. His teenage years were even more horrible than the years he had spent struggling to be a songwriter. He didn't want to have to go back to West Eastman High where he was popular one minute, than being beat up behind the gymnasium the next because he called the quarterback a loser.

"Apparently yes," Eleanor said, breaking Dave from his thoughts. Everyone could see the exasperation on his face, even a little sadness.

"Come on Dave, it's not so bad," said Theodore comfortingly, giving his dad another hug, "You don't have to look so sad about it. You get to be young again!"

Theodore let go and the gang slowly headed for the back door of the house. Another thought came to Dave's mind and his ears arched back against his head, "Do you know why this is a bad thing?" he asked sadly. Everyone looked curiously back at him and shook their heads, "This means that I'm not old enough to be your adoptive father anymore..." The Chipmunks immediately saddened at that thought.

It was a silent walk back to the house, each chipmunk lost in his or her own thoughts. One by one, they crawled through the cat flap and trudged into the living room...But someone was already there.

"Hey guys! How's it going? Hey, who's your friend?"

Aw, nuts!

It was Toby Seville, Dave's cousin. The chipmunks just blinked in surprise. They hadn't seen Toby since he went off to a community college so he could get a decent job as a computer programmer ("What a nerd!" Brittany had commented when she read about it on Facebook.). He was also engaged to Julie Ortega, the chipmunks English and History teacher.

"H-hey-uh, Toby!" Alvin exclaimed with a stutter, quickly trying to come up with solution to this unexpected dilemma. He put on what he hoped was a winning smile and opened his arms in welcome, "Hi man, what a surprise! We haven't seen you in a while!" He faltered a little, "How (chuckles anxiously)-how did you get in?"

Toby grinned and explained while the gang jumped onto the sofa across from his arm chair, "I found the key under the rock where Dave always leaves it. I swear Dave takes the some rock from house to house. Where is my cousin anyway?"

"He's uh...He's in a meeting at Jett Records," Brittany replied, hoping he'd buy it. Everyone else nodded.

Toby frowned, "Dave's in a meeting at 10 o'clock on a Saturday morning?"

"Uh yeah, we're thinking about doing a tour in New Zealand. We haven't been there yet." Alvin said quickly. That was actually only a half-lie. They had been considering touring New Zealand and a few parts of Australia lately.

Toby seemed to have bought it, "Okay then, that's too bad. I was looking forward to seeing him." His attention returned to the anonymous black furred chipmunk sitting next to Alvin, "So who's this?"

It was lucky that Alvin was both a good liar and a quick thinker. He placed a paw on Dave's shoulder and announced, "Toby, this is the Chipette's cousin Ross."

(LOL that was just the first name that came to mind!)

It was even luckier that the Chipette's were good at hiding their emotions and were experts at playing along with Alvin's improvisations. While inwardly shocked, the girls planted smiles on their faces and nodded. Brittany even gave 'Ross' a small hug to make it seem more real. Dave did his best to play along too and did pretty well for an amateur (or so his kids thought he was)!

"That's cool, I didn't know there were more talking chipmunks than you six," said Toby sitting forward and reaching out his hand so 'Ross' could shake his finger, "So how you get here? Do you want to be a singer too?"

It was Dave's turn to lie, "I was injured a few months ago and an old couple took me in so I could recover. I spent most of my time in front of the television and I was ecstatic to see Britt, Jean and Ellie dancing on the screen at the International Music Awards. As soon as I could, I came to LA and eventually found them here."

"And do you want to be singer?"

"Singer? Me?" No, my voice is far too grainy for that!" That was actually true as well. The only test that Dave had failed was the singing test, causing a few busted ear drums along the way. Luckily, his more primitive fingers hadn't stunted his guitar and piano skills, "No, but Dave is letting me be sort of an intern and I can help him write songs and stuff."

"Well, that's nice of Dave to let you do that," Toby said.

The rest of the day was pretty awkward. Toby ended up staying for dinner. He wanted to know everything about 'Ross' seeing as he knew the other chipmunks pretty well. This kind of helped though, because by the time Toby left for home, they had the perfect cover story:

Ross was the Chipette's cousin on their dad's side. He was already a year old by the time they were born and he watched out for them after his aunt and uncle ran off. When he was 10 and the Chipettes were nine, he fell in love with a girl and ran off with her, but not before making sure the Chipettes could take care of themselves. After 3 years, Ross lost his girl to another chipmunk (not unlike Dave's real life) and by the time he'd reached the girls nest, they'd already gone to LA.

Ross travelled around for a few years until a few months ago when he was injured during a storm. Taken in by an old animal rescue couple, he recovered in their living room and saw his cousins on TV. Eventually, he made it to LA where he trailed rabid Chipmunk fans who gradually gave him the info he needed to find their house.

After a few episodes of the Simpsons, it was time to go to bed. Dave was still pretty dazed. This had been the weirdest day so far. As he said good night to everyone, Alvin took him aside, "Listen, Dave, before you go being all depressed about not being our dad anymore. I'd like you to know that it's not so bad."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that now you're closer to our age, you can now be our awesome surrogate brother or something. You just have to keep looking on the bright side of life," with that, Alvin gave him a huge bear hug then ran off to his bedroom. Dave smiled to himself as he walked down to his own room. He pulled on a pyjama top that Eleanor made him with one of his human sized shirts and settled into bed.

'Alvin's right.' He told himself as he curled into a ball again, 'Maybe this isn't a bad thing after all...'