AN: So, here comes the next Chapter and let me emphasis that if the subject of this story is nothing for you then please do not read it. And for those who seem to know nothing about the show I'd suggest go and watch the show first... Casey McDonald is the characters name! Considering what this story is about, I'd like to ask for at least a tiny amount of consideration...She has a eating disorder for gods sake! Stop making jokes about it -Keisha
Chapter 6 „Settling Inn"
After I've finally taken a shower I start tearing down the decorations in the room. I can't stand to look at all of the stupid fluffy pink stuff hanging around everywhere any longer. I change everything so that it fits me and my style a bit more. I put up a few of my posters and my CD Recorder letting my favorite band blare through the room. Thank god I've got my own space.
I get dressed, wearing a pair of jogging pants with „Hogwarts" written on them and a pink T shirt with scull and crossbones all over it. My feet are clad in fuzzy slippers with a scull and crossbones on them. I look around the room pleased with my myself. I pull out my guitar lovingly moving my fingers against the signature. Before I can plug it in and start playing tough there's a knock on the door and my mom is standing in the doorway.
„I just wanted to see how you got settled in, honey..." Mom says looking around the changes I've made regarding the rooms interior with big eyes. „Oh..." Is all she gets out. „I like it here, mom." I say softly. Her expression changes. „Honey, what happened to you while I was not there?" She asks, moving to sit down on my bed. She looks around the room. „Sure you have changed, and mostly these changes could stem from puberty, but you are so unbelievably thin? Did something happen while you were living with your father..." My mom is trying to be sensitive or nice I'm not sure.
But my first reaction is anger. Anger and defense, it's her own fault for not being there for me in the first place. „Why do you suddenly care now? You didn't even call me while I lived with him...So what's with this change in attitude all of a sudden?" I ask her. „I'm sorry if I didn't call enough but, whenever I tried Dennis seemed to pick up and I couldn't stand the fights anymore..." She trails off looking hurt. I roll my eyes at her. „That's a nice excuse you've got there... But it was you who left me there with him. It was you're choice to take Lizard with you and not me." I say not letting any of the anger I'm feeling move into my voice. She's staring at me like I've slapped her across the face...just great...
„Honey..." She starts saying softly after a few moments of complete silence. But I turn around. I don't want to listen to her, I don't want to hear any lame excuses or how she did care but Dad wouldn't let her get through to me... Yea...right who was the child in this story again? -Me. She remains silent and I can practically feel how hurt she is by my words. 'Yay...way to go Case.' I chide myself. 'You haven't even been here for twenty-four hours and you've already managed to hurt her.' Sometimes I really hate the way my subconscious talks to me.
„Honey..." She tries again and this time I listen. „I don't know what you're father has told you, or if he told anything at all...But I did try to get you back... I wanted you to be part of this family for as long as this family exists... Lizzy missed you terribly and I... I missed you too." I can hear the unshed tears in her words but I steel myself against them.
„I'm sorry that it was so hard for you to abandon you're own daughter." Venom is dripping from my voice and I watch and hear her sharp intake of breath. She looks hurt and not too less by the looks of it. She tries to say something a few times but never manages to finish her sentence before she takes a deep breath apparently calming herself.
„I never abandoned you willingly, Casey. I hope you know that... I tried to stay in touch but whenever I called Dennis seemed to pick up. My mails never got through to you, or perhaps you...you deleted them without reading... But never think that I didn't try. I love you honey." I look at my mother and see how miserable she looks but I don't trust her, not even a tiny bit. „I'm sorry I wasn't there for you... If only I'd known that Dennis picked up his drinking habit again I would've pressed charges..." She goes silent. Probably even she knows how lame her excuses sound.
„A fucking youth office employee had to get me out of there... I had to turn to the freaking youth office to get help." I say accusingly. „I'm terribly sorry. If I'd known..." She looks miserable and I smile satisfied. She should look like that. „You could have known...if you'd actually cared." I say pointing at the door. „Would you mind leaving me alone?" I ask knowing that I'm being harsh, but I can't bring myself to act differently. I can't bring myself to act like I care, because I'm hurt. „I'll...just leave you space to get settled in... Breakfast is ready about nine tomorrow." My mother's voice is timid and I can hear unshed tears ready to spill as she leaves but I shrug as she closes the door.
I fling myself onto the bed. 'Why the hell didn't that feel better? It should have felt satisfying...it should have felt great... But right now I feel like a bigger douche bag than my father.' I heave a sigh and stare out of the window.
„You could have been at least a tiny bit nicer...you know.." The voice ringing out from the door makes me jump. „She really tried and almost pulled a few muscles getting this room ready..." Derek is standing in the doorway looking at the overflowing garbage can that I filled with all of the decorations. „She worked the whole basement for almost a month." He adds accusingly.
I glance around and really notice the ballet bar and the mirror dominating a side of the whole basement. „I...didn't know." I say lamely feeling bad for my outburst now. „I don't know what you're problem is, or what problems Dennis has, but Nora is really great." He is leaning against my door frame nonchalantly and his voice sounds rather bored but from the look in his eyes I can see the defensiveness. „Why do you care?" I ask angrily getting up from my bed.
„I don't care about anything, or anyone. But what you just did? It was a low blow. Nora is a great woman, a great mom for my Marti... You shouldn't have talked to her like that." His eyes are filled with anger as he looks at me and feel taken aback. „It's none of you're concern... You have no idea what I've been through." I say sitting up and glaring at him. „Neither do you, or do you know how Nora has felt for the past years trying to get you back? How defeated she looked like whenever she had to come back from court without you? How she is giving herself the blame for having had to leave you behind? Or how she guilt-trips herself into everything because she just couldn't get her beloved daughter back?" Derek asks glaring at me heatedly.
I gulp as I sit up straighter which he seems to take as an invitation to enter the room and close the door behind himself. „Do you have any idea how much thought she put into decorating this room? She started on it as soon as she moved into this house." He tells me and I feel worse by the minute. „You waltz into here acting like you hate it all... While everyone in this house has been planning for you're move-in since the second it was decided in that fucking court room..." He adds and I flinch.
„I..I had no idea..." I mumble and guilt floods me. „You should always take a moment to stop and think before going around accusing people." He says icily. „I am sorry." I say and he shakes his head. „It's not me you should apologize to." He points up the stairs and walks off leaving me sitting on the bed. I can't believe I have to apologize to my mother... Everything inside me is against going up there and apologizing, but I know I fucked up and if I truly want to feel like I belong here I am going to be having to apologize...
Unwillingly I walk upstairs and gently knock on the door to my mother and Georges bedroom. „Come in." Her voice sounds muffled and slowly I open the door to find Mom sitting on a double bed with tears in her eyes. „C..Casey what are you doing here?" She asks wiping her eyes. „I... I came here to apologize for my behavior earlier. You really put thought into decorating and I didn't appreciate any of it. Even if it isn't my taste at all I should have honored all of the work and thought you put into decorating. I mean you built a freaking studio for me, even if I don't really love dancing that much." I say sheepishly while watching my mother starting to smile again.
„I shouldn't have gone so over the top. I mean it's not like I would know what you like..." She mumbled. „I am sorry...M..mom I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I should have at least thanked you for trying and I can still change the dance studio into a studio where I can sing and record my music." I say and reach out to hug my mother with shaking hands. She hugs back in an instant and squeezes me close to herself. „I never meant for you to have to go through what you probably did. I wasn't aware that Dennis would stoop so low as to..." She can't even bring herself to say the words.
„It's okay...He can't hurt me anymore. It's over." I tell her softly. I don't trust her yet, but I don't want to hurt her either. It's not like she turned my dad into a monster, regardless of what he says. I give her a smile, it's not a real one, per se but I hope she can't tell the difference yet. It seems to please her and she get's up. „I think I should start on making dinner." She's smiling again and a tiny part inside me wants to offer her assistance, but the other, bigger part of me is still cautious so I move back downstairs and plug in my Guitar.
Softly I start to sing:
I never thought
I'd actually get out of there
But now I'm here and I
Can't seem to fit in anywhere
You don't know,
No you weren't aware...
What he's done, or how far he's gone
You say you tried all you could've
To get me back to you...
But I can't believe...
No, no I can't believe
That any of you're words are true...
No, no I never thought
I'd actually get out of there
But now I'm here and I
Can't seem to fit in anywhere...
You don't know,
No you weren't aware...
What he's done, or how far he's gone...
The days were black...
Melting into one...
Yes some days were good
But mostly they went wrong...
It wasn't just him I wanted to escape
No at school too,
Everything was far from great
But now I'm here
And I will be so strong
I'll start again...
No longer need to pretend
That I am someone else...
Maybe this time I'll be enough...
I hear clapping coming from the doorway and am surprised to see Derek standing in the doorway. „You have a great voice." He comments. I blush deeply. „You weren't supposed to listen ... I put up the keep-out sign for a reason you know." I say looking up at him.
He's as usual standing, or rather leaning on the door way casually, the way he always seems to do when he pops out of nowhere. „But... uhm Thanks anyway." I add. „You ever thought about joining a band?" He asks. „No, I'm more of a one person gig." I answer even the trace of a smile gone from my lips. I remember the last time I tried joining, or rather making a band...
Months Ago in the posh New York Private School I'd gone to...
I'd finally had the courage not only to put up a sign on the Bulletin Board but to approach a group of girls, all in designer clothes, shoes and with the matching designer bags and the matching posh hairstyles. I had slowly walked up to them mustering up all of the courage I had and had gently tapped one of the girl's shoulders. She'd looked down at me like I was scum. „What do you want freak?" She'd laughed in my face and then turned whipping her strawberry blonde hair in my face and proceeded to show her friends something on her new I Phone and shrugged me off with a „Freak" It was like I never even existed...
Too bad „Sheryl" (I'd soon learned her name) had gotten terribly offended that a... a creature like me had dared to talk to her. She'd felt personally offended and took a liking to picking on me. She was everywhere I went and kept pushing me down and rubbing my face in the ground...
I shake my head. I need to get rid of these thoughts. Derek is still looking at me, and I probably spaced out on him for a good few minutes. He must think I'm a lunatic... „Uhm... sorry I was just lost in memories... I guess." I say sheepishly. „It's fine. You're just weird, I guess." He winks at me and laughs, showing me that he's making fun of me but in a nice way.
„You know..." He says while walking through the room. „I like what you've made of this room... Plus it's got the added bonus of the privacy and the perfect way to sneak in and out if you wanna. You know that window you've got there is pretty big...well actually big enough to walk in and out." He adds. „I've been using it as my secret getaway for years." He adds.
„Sounds nice." I answer and look at him. His touseld reddish brown hair, the deep brown eyes, the smirk on his lips which seems to be there always. „What?" He asks looking down on himself to check whether if there is something. „Nothing, I was just lost in thought..." I say. He grins provocativly. „Yeah...riiight, you were so checking me out McDonald..." He laughs with a smug smirk. I can see that he's merely playing around and beeing friendly. „Check you out? Is there really someone on this planet who'd check you out?" I ask playfully. Bantering with Derek is fun.
Derek puts a hand over his heart. „Geesh...I'm wounded Space-Case." He says dramatically. I shove him playfully. „C'mon get out or I'll show you something to be wounded about." I laugh as I shove him upstairs and we sit down to eat dinner. Mom has loaded my plate up to the brim and I look at all the food with dear in my eyes. I can do this...I can eat all this... I tell myself. I start shoving food into my stomach while I listen to Lizzy telling me all about her day at Soccer Practice and Edwin sometimes throws in a burp or some comment only to be topped by Derek with the burp who get's scolded by George. Then George burps himself, louder than Derek and Edwin and laughs telling them that's how it's done. Mom chides all three of them and I watch the scene play out in front of my eyes.
A hint of a smile is tugging at the Corners of my lips. Maybe it's not so bad being here after all... All of the food in my stomach is making me nauseous and I'm glad when Lizzy and Edwin start to clean the table. I am quick to excuse myself and lock myself into my room, running into the bathroom and plunging my fingers down my throath. I retch and heave loudly and when my stomach lurches throwing out all the food I've eaten I feel weak at the knees and I shudder in satisfaction. This feeling is unlike any other, it's hard to explain... Where I'd been feeling sad and angry minutes before, now I'm feeling weak and satisfied. I'm feeling good as I flush. I feel a dull ache in my stomach and relish it. My head's stopped spinning and my focus is on the ache in my stomach. It's a good ache. I feel good.
Meanwhile each in their respictive rooms the rest of the McDonald-Venturis wonder about the new family member...
Martis POV
I like Smacey...she's funny and she looks like she likes to play games. And she's pretty almost like a Princess...a dark Princess because she's wearing black but a Princess...
George POV
So this is Nora's other daughter. She's really awfully thin...but maybe that's a fashion statement? She seems to be a goth, or a punkster tough I doubt Nora knows any of those exist in the first place. I chuckle softly. I wonder what really happened to her living with Dennis, tough... Nora would always be devestated when she came back from court without her daughter... There is something about her which doesn't sit well with me. Something is wrong, but it's not my place to poke around in their relationship. I will talk to Casey alone, when I get the chance, though. I need to make sure she knows she's safe here and no harm will come to her here.
Nora's POV
I sigh. What the hell happened to my daughter? She used be such a ...a girl and now she's this weird emo...or goth what do kids call beeing suicidal these days? What happened to my perfect little Princess? Casey used to be so proud and so...so...different.. Hell, she used to drink „Afternoon-Tea" like a stuck up british princess and now she's become this...this...Punk. I don't really know what to do, or how to handle the situation but what I do know is...I need to know what happened to Casey while she was in Dennis's care... I am her mother, it's my duty to protect her and... I miserably failed. Now I need to right my wrongs. I am determined.
Lizzy POV
I am not sure whether Mom took the changes in Casey well... I'd warned Casey not to go overboard, but Casey's „Casey" and she only does what she wants... I'm so glad she's back tough. I've missed her terribly and writing all of those EMails wasn't like the real thing.. Now I can finally go right into her room to talk to her when I need advice on guys, or when I need help with my homeowrk, or anything. She's promised me she'll always be there.
Edwin POV
So this is Lizzys infamous elder sister. She sure is no piece of cake and she's hot. I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed, I think I saw Derek do a double-take when he encountered her first. She might be Emo, or Goth or whatever the hell it is, but she still looks awesome. Watching the reaction on Derek's face when he saw her was worth a Million bucks. You could almost see „I want that!" On a shiny luminous sign above Casey's head. Poor dad, he has absolutely no idea what hell is gonna break loose now that the elder McDonald Sister is living beneath the Venturi roof... I noticed the way she guards herself tough, so maybe Derek doesn't even stand a chance...Even if he's probably mad as hell about her because she's off limits and everyone knows...Derek loves what he can't have.
Derek's POV
'Damn... I still can't believe that this chick is supposed to be Nora's elder daughter... I mean she looks nothing like Lizzy. You could say those two sisters are completely different specimen, for all I care... She's emo, or goth I'm not sure which but she'll probably be starring in my dreams tonight, even if the dozens of eyeliner doesn't do her face any good at all... Now I finally know why Nora's never shown us any pictures beside very old ones of her before. I think Nora feared the Moment I laid eyes on her daughter, because she only knows me as a skirt-chasing-cad... I'm not sure yet if she was right to do so, or not... What I do know tough is I want to know this girl. I want to know why she hides herself beneath that image... Who is Casey McDonald for real?
AN: So what do you guys say. No I'm still not sure if this will become a dasey or not. It's Casey-centric and it's goingg to focus on her and her Problems solely. I hope you guys enjoyed reading. -Love Keisha