Chapter Two- A Father's Vow

Hello and welcome to the second chapter of Paws on My Heart, I hope you enjoy. If you have a moment to spare I'd be thankful if you could check out the poll on my profile and maybe check out my other stories too? The poll is to see what story idea I should look into writing next as Ambassador's Journal is slow going.

Disclaimer: I own nothin' mate (Apart from baby Nathanael!)

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Harry really hadn't wanted to go on the Northern Ireland assignment but as he had used up all of his trainee's basic holiday hours and sick days and as his boss didn't seem to think that Harry's son needed him, he had to go. His boss didn't seem to care how much Harry wanted to be with his son, after all Nathanael had Ginny there and surely Harry's wife and mother of their child would be more that capable enough to care for him in hospital for a few days.

But Harry knew that his wife hadn't bonded with their son like Harrys had hoped and nothing at all like he himself had in the three and a half weeks since his son's birth; Ginny hadn't held him or even talked to him and Harry was getting worried.

Harry missed his son and his whole being itched to be back in that hospital ward, cuddling his son to his naked chest. Nathanael had been moved from one side of the pre 32 week ward to the other side when he was two weeks old and while Harry knew the nurses and Healers were some of the best in the country it didn't mean that he didn't feel that the need to be there for every little step forward his son made.

Harry had enjoyed the travel aspect of his training before Ginny had told him she was pregnant and knew that once his son was settled at home that he probably would again. Right at that moment, on the other hand, he just wanted to be home readying his son's room for his arrival home or even at the hospital holding Ginny's hand while they listened carefully to another update from Healer Melewbe.

He had only been gone two days when he received a letter from a Saint Mungo's owl; in fact it was waiting for him when he returned from chats with Irish Aurors over the best way to deal with political protests in the magical world. It had been a long day so Harry didn't know how long the owl had been waiting but after reading it Harry hoped to Magic itself that it hadn't been there too long.

He grabbed the letter gently from the owl before throwing off his robes and sitting down to read it.

Rolling out the parchment Harry soon felt tears building in the corners of his eyes,

Dear Mister Potter,

It is with upmost regret that I have to send you this letter to inform you of your son's condition. It is known that you are on assignment in Northern Ireland with the Aurors but I must bid that you return to the hospital as soon as you possibly can.

Your son, Nathanael, has taken a turn for the worst and he is no longer breathing on his own. His lungs had been growing as expected until they suddenly collapsed this morning and it is only the Lung-Breather that is keeping him alive at time point in time.

We can treat him and potentially save his life, by casting magic directly into the lungs and heart but as you well know only with parental consent can we perform such spells. Your wife sadly withdrew consent for us to use any life-saving magic on your son this morning and has informed us that you had already agreed to this plan before you left for your assignment.

Please excuse me for being so frank but I know you love your son and I do not believe that you would have agreed to such a plan, in fact many times since his birth you have told me to do all that I can to keep your son alive, even if it is just long enough for you to come and hold him, to say one last goodbye.

Great Healers forgive me but I've held off following your wife's orders to stop lung support for now but without a counteracting order there is little else I can do.

Please hurry Mister Potter; I do not know how long the Lung-Breather alone will keep young Nathanael alive. He needs intense magic and potion therapy to get him breathing on his own again.

May Magic Speed You Home,

Healer Rory Melewbe, Senior Healer of Saint Mungo's children's wards

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It didn't take long for Harry to reach his bosses hotel room, knocking the door he waited for the signal to enter before rushing in.

His boss, Stephen Dawkins, was head of International Auror Cooperation in the British Ministry and was a short greying man in his fifties. He had no current partner or children and he had come to be known as the Iron Fist in Auror departments around the world. He had also been the one to tell Harry that a few days away from his son wouldn't matter; but he was wrong.

"Yes Trainee Potter? I understand that today went well and there was little left to do today? I got some pleased reports from the Irish Aurors about how you handled today." He barked with his blue eyes sharp as a steel blade.

Harry nodded nervously, "Yes Sir, nothing went wrong here but I returned to my room and there was an owl waiting from the hospital where my son is sick Sir, and it says that my son has taken a turn for the worst. I've just come to inform you that I have to go right now. They say they don't know if he will make it." Harry rubbed his right hand with the left, knowing that Dawkins wouldn't be very happy with his leaving.

Dawkins stared at him for a moment before shaking his head slowly. "Potter you only have a day left after today and you want to leave now? I told you that your wife can deal with everything; you have a job to do. I'm sure it will be fine, Healers tend to make things sound worse than they are."

Harry blinked slowly at the older man. "Sir my son is dying and you want me to sit about and pretend nothing is wrong? I can't do that sir; I have to return home now." He couldn't understand why Dawkins wasn't getting it; his son came first, always.

Dawkins face darkened and he sneered lightly. "Just because you're the famous Potter doesn't mean you get special treatment. You go and you can think again about continuing your traineeship with the Aurors. We don't need men like you."

It was the last straw and Harry took a step forward and ripped the badge that signalled his Auror training off of his shirt and dropped it onto Dawkins desk. "If you don't need men like me then I think I'd rather not be part of it. I quit and you can fuck off." Harry turned and quickly left the room, leaving the bitter old Auror muttering alone in his room.

Harry stopped by his rooms where he grabbed and shrunk his bag, careful to leave anything that belonged to the department behind before jogging down the stairs to reception.

Luckily it was the owner manning the desk that night and when Harry explained why he needed to use their Floo they were happy for him to do so, going as far to wish his son well.

Before he knew it he was running from the Floo room of Saint Mungo's towards the baby wards. He pasted a group of nurses and the expressions of relief on their faces gave him hope that he was in time.

The Healer sat in at the wards waiting desk looked up at him and her eyes widened, they all knew him by now and she quickly gestured to the Pre- 32 born room and he slowly stepped inside, holding his breath.

"… Healer I want to know how much longer you expect him to live. This morning you were telling me it was only hours and now you say you aren't sure? I want to move on and grieve but I cannot." The voice belonged to Ginny and the words of the letter came back to mind and rage filled him. How could she say such a thing about their son? There would be no need to grieve if she hadn't taken away his only chance.

It was Healer Melewbe's voice that replied solemnly, "Your son is a fighter Mrs Potter; he knows that has much to live for. He may still pull through, you never can know with children."

Harry felt this was time to step in and he pulled the curtain that had been placed around his son's bed side away and told the Healer in the strongest voice he could manage, "He is going to live, no thanks to you Ginny," He said through gritted teeth before turning to Healer Melewbe, "I return consent for you to give my son, Nathanael Potter, any life-saving treatment you deem necessary and if you point me to the paper work I'll sign it straight away."

The Healer pointed to his desk, "There and a nurse will help you." He followed Harry's gaze to the barely breathing baby sleeping on the bed, "and please go away, I'll need space to save him this far gone." Harry nodded and grabbed his wife's arm tightly before dragging her to the desk, pushing her into a chair while he signed the waiting paperwork.

He turned to look at her tear stained face, his own face stony. "Go home, go to the Weasley's, go anywhere but here; I just don't care right now."

He watched her nod and walk slowly from the room, not even glancing to where her son lay close to death but no longer dying.

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Harry didn't leave his son side for three days and then it was only to return home for an hour to shower, shave and grab a few days-worth of clothes and things he needed that he hadn't taken on the assignment. He also sent a quick letter off to Teddy and his grandmother so they'd know why he had missed their bi-weekly Sunday lunch.

The house bore no signs that his wife had stayed there and Harry guessed that she had been living at the Burrow with her mother and father.

Harry groaned inwardly, he would have to go round to the Burrow soon and see what Ginny had told them and if it wasn't the truth then she should hope that he didn't lose his temper; he would never hit her, even if she had once hit him in anger, but he would let her know what he thought.

He hadn't been gone from Nathanael's bedside for much more than an hour but the sight of the wards soothing yellow and gold walls and then the sight of his son's wriggling body calmed him when he hadn't even known he had become tense. When he got to his son's bed-side he watched tiny blue eyes wander around the room before settling on him. "Hey baby, daddy is here. Sorry I was gone so long, I had to shower because cleaning charms only do so much." His son simply watched him and Harry ran his finger over the baby's smooth cheek.

"Indeed they do Mr Potter, I'm glad you took the time to look after yourself. We were beginning to worry." Harry turned to see Nurse Thompkins smiling at him from one of the other baby's bed-side chair with said baby in arm.

Harry knew the little girl was called Clarissa and her mother and father were of lesser known pureblood families. Harry had come to know them well all the same. He knew the families of all of the children in the ward; there was Clarissa with her parents Jude and Bethany Flatly and tiny Garth and Oscar with their mother Victoria Corbyn. Garth and Oscar had been born as two of triplets but the only girl, whose name Harry hadn't heard, had died in the womb. The death of a child is more than heart breaking but to have one die within your own body must be devastating for any woman and for than to cause the premature birth of the other two at only 25 weeks, well Harry was in awe of the inner strength Victoria had.

Victoria was so resilient and while she had been found her crying at her son's bed-sides more than once she would be smiling and caring for her boy's only moments later. There was nothing Harry could do but offer a shoulder and a hug where he could; they all supported each other in the ward and they all knew that the others knew a little of what they were going through more than almost anyone else.

Harry smiled at the elderly nurse, "I'm sorry I made you worry Nurse Thompkins, I just couldn't leave him."

She hummed and nodded at him, "We understand Mr Potter, and perhaps we before many others understand where you are coming from." She said softly, unknowingly mirroring his earlier thoughts, "I have seen my fair share of infants fall either side of the line and I'll remember each beyond my retirement."

Harry smiled at the older woman sadly. "I know us parents are more than grateful for how much hard work you put in every day. Magic knows how many babies you have helped save on this ward and in the others."

The nurse chuckled as she placed the sleeping Clarissa back onto her bed. "Oh I know how many Mr Potter but I won't tell you! It would give away my age you see. Now I've got more wards to check and babies to cuddle, I'll see you later Mr Potter and please do take care of yourself." She waved and walked slowly out of the room.

Harry had just sat down himself when the door opened again and Healer Melewbe walked in. "Ah Harry, I was hoping you would be back; I've done some tests and the magic has fixed whatever made your son's lungs collapse in the first place. He is doing very well, well enough that you may start holding him again and perhaps well enough that you could take him home in a couple of weeks."

Harry breathed out a sigh of relief; his son was going to be okay. "Isn't it a little soon for him to be going home?" He asked a little confused.

The Healer hummed, "Perhaps in the muggle world, where a child born early is known to stay in hospital long after their due date but here with magic we can help speed up growth of things like eyes and lungs. He may have some developmental delays like walking later than some children or talking later, things like that but apart from that magic does wonders." The Healer had walked over to Harry while he was talking and by the end of it he was reaching into the cot bed and gently collecting Nathanael in his arms before turning and placing the wide awake infant in his father's waiting arms.

Harry's body relaxed completely and so too did his son's body, so much so that baby Nathanael was soon asleep again.

"Well I'm glad for magic then." Harry mumbled as the Healer returned to work.

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The door to the Burrow looked the same as it always had; warn but welcoming. Harry walked towards it slowly, unsure of who would be home at six on a Monday evening in January.

Harry knocks softly on the door and worry started to build after a few minutes of no answer and silence from within the house but just as Harry was about to give up the door was opened by his stony faced father-in-law.

Arthur stared at him for a moment, "Harry, we've been wondering when you would get here. You have news I expect, come in and we'll get this sorted." His voice gave nothing away but Harry was hopeful that he would be able to explain and that they'd all understand.

"Okay Arthur," He nodded and saw a brief smile flash across the other man's face at the use of his name; it had taken Harry months after his wedding to Ginny to get used to calling Arthur by his first name and sometimes Harry still slipped and called him Mr Weasley.

Harry follows the other man into the Weasley's living room, where all the Weasley's but Charlie were sitting on sofas and chairs that had been moved from the dining room, as they had many times before for parties and after family dinners.

Ron and Hermione were sat next to each other, Ron's hand resting on his wife's pregnant belly and next to them sat Fleur, with her and Bill's daughter sat on her lap. Bill himself was sat on a chair beside them.

On the other sofa was Molly then in the middle was Ginny and a space on the other which Arthur quickly sat on. George was sat on the floor by his sister's feet with her hand resting on his shoulder. Percy was sat beside his mother on another dining room chair.

Harry walked slowly into the middle of the room and quickly spotted that his mother-in-law's favourite chair had been left unoccupied and Harry guessed it was there for him to sit so he would be slightly away from the others.

He didn't look anyone in the eye as he took the seat, his whole body tense and his hands clasped before him; he didn't know what to say, he didn't even know if he should be the first person to speak.

After a minute or so of oppressing silence Harry was surprised at who decided to take the first step in the conversation they all needed to have.

"How's my nephew Harry? Sorry none of us have been to visit but we thought you might want some time to yourself…" Percy said mildly, speaking as he always did.

Harry nodded, "He's good, his lungs have got through whatever made them collapse in the first place and Healer Melewbe said he might even be able to go home in a couple of weeks if he stays this strong." He glanced towards his wife, hoping to see some kind of happiness but her face was blank and Harry had to withhold a deep sigh.

His mother-in-law nodded slowly. "Good, good, when we got the letter saying that the healer had given my first grandson only hours to live we were devastated, for ourselves and for you and Ginny." She wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders to give comfort that Harry didn't think his wife needed.

Harry glanced at his wife again but this time she was staring at him with burning contempt and scorn. He took a deep breath and readied himself for their anger on top of his wife's.

"Look I'm not sure what Ginny has told you… What happened to Nat is something that the Healers can easily sort out but it needs parental consent as magic is cast directly into the heart and lungs. Of course I gave consent as soon as he was born that the healers could do what they needed as long as he wouldn't suffer." Harry gulped back his fear and anger at what could have happened if Healer Melewbe hadn't sent him that letter.

It was Ron's turn to speak in seems, "But why then did my sister return crying from the hospital saying that she was losing him and how she couldn't return? My sister has never been one to be overly dramatic and in her letter it sounded like it wasn't possible for him to get better?" Ron had always held his sister up as the best sister he could possibly have and insults against her weren't taken lightly.

Harry rubbed his hand over his face, knowing that they weren't going to take the news that their sister and daughter had changed since the birth of her child. "Ginny withdrew consent for life-saving magic to be cast on our son after his lungs collapsed that morning and if the Healer hadn't informed me by letter then I would have returned home too late to give consent again."

Deafening silence and then an explosion of disbelief and anger and Harry couldn't make much sense of what was being said by anyone.

The outburst lasted a few minutes and in that time Ginny said not one single word to defend herself or to confirm what her husband had said but had instead continued to glare at him, as if she had expected him to stay silent on the matter.

It was Arthur who brought a semblance of calm to the room before he turned to Harry, face so serious that Harry was worried that he was about to be chucked out without being given a chance to explain or show them his evidence.

"Harry you have to understand that the idea of our daughter letting her son… die just goes against all that she had told us since she returned from the hospital and also in goes against all we know about her." Arthur said as calmly as he could, "Ginny was so happy to be expecting a baby and to think that she would let her own child, her own son, die just doesn't seem right and I'm struggling to believe it."
Harry nodded because he did understand where they were coming from and if he hadn't take notice of little things over the last few weeks then he thought that he too what have trouble believing her actions.

"I don't want to believe it either but I think I've seen what you haven't over the last few weeks. Ginny hasn't held him at all and nor have I seen her talk to him… From early in the pregnancy she was so adamant that she would breast feed, even when I said that it would be up to her but after Nathanael's birth she refused to express any milk, even when the nurse suggested that it was the best thing for him and now she could breast feed him directly she denies she ever wanted to." Harry looked back towards his wife hopelessly, hoping she would explain.

Hermione hummed, "I did some research when I found out I was expecting and there are lots of reasons some women struggle to connect with their new-borns and perhaps Ginny should ask a Healer for a postnatal depression assessment." She rubbed her belly as she spoke, "Some women just need extra help after birth and there is nothing wrong with that."

Harry frown at his best friend, slightly insulted that she thought he wouldn't support his wife in such a case. "Of course there's nothing wrong with that but Hermione I myself did some reading early on in the pregnancy and I was worried about that too so I asked a Healer, Ginny's post birth Healer in fact, and she gave me the main signs to watch out for and then a quiz. Ginny never had trouble sleeping, she was only unhappy at the hospital and she didn't lose any self-esteem or show any signs of guilt or anxiety. The Healer said it was unlikely that she was suffering from postnatal depression and that she hadn't noticed anything physically wrong, like an infection, during her last check up."

"You did what?" His wife almost screamed at him, "I don't need you going to Healers behind my back! I'm fine, I just want us to move on and I don't know how we can do that if you live in the hospital most of the time. It was always hospital time or work time and there never seemed to any time for me, your wife!" Ginny had jumped up and was now leaning against the window, "I just wanted us to be perfect." She said almost too quietly for Harry to hear.

Harry doesn't move to comfort her in anyway, "We could have been perfect and if you had just given Nathanael a chance you would have seen that." He stopped as she snorted in disbelief.

"Nathanael this, Nathanael that. When will you understand that things won't be perfect with him? He'll need to go to the hospital all the time and you would never have had any time for me. I don't' want us to end up like my parents were Harry, you at work all the time and me stuck at home with kids. In the last three weeks you've given me no attention what so ever and I'm sick of it. I want to have a perfect job and perfect husband and later we can have perfect children but now we just need each other." She was crying by then but not for their son but for what she thought she had lost because of his birth.

Harry stared in disgust, "You would let our son die so that you could have a perfect life?" He asked, far more shocked at her answer then he had thought he would be.

She glared at him, "It's not that I wanted him to die but I wanted him to be perfect and he wasn't! I wanted a perfect child, not some sickly thing!" She shorted at him with her fingers running through her lose red hair.

"Ginny!" her mother said in shock, "Your son is not a thing and I can't believe what I'm hearing, I raised you to value all life not to throw away what you think isn't good enough…" Molly was crying by now and George had gotten up from the floor and was now hugging his mother from where Ginny had been say moments before.

"Ginny I don't understand, you were so happy to be pregnant at the same time as me and I could never see myself rejecting my child because I thought they weren't perfect." Hermione had gone white in the face and Ron was looking form his wife to his sister, worried.

"Well you can sit on your high horse and be the benevolent mother-to-be but until you have been in my shoes you can't say anything and should just shut up." She glared at her sister-in-law.

"Hey! That's not fair and you know it Ginny, Hermione just wants to help." Ron frowned at his sister as she turned her glared to him.

"You can shut up too; none of you know what it's like." Ginny had stopped crying and her face had turned bright red in what Harry knew was frustration.

Bill and Fleur had stayed silent up till that point but now the eldest brother felt the need to speak, "Ginny has become a selfish brat and marrying Harry only made her worse; she always got her way and everything she did was perfect. Marrying Harry has been her wish for longer than she's known him and she now thinks she should always get what she wants." Bill spoke calmly and looked from face to face with each word, finally resting his gaze on Harry. "But once she was married she found she didn't get everything she wanted and that her husband didn't sink to his knees and worship her and so she had to put up with it. Then she has a child who needs care and attention and because her husband gives the child so much attention she thinks he has no time for her." He takes a deep breath and glances back at his sister, "You have to grow up sometime Ginny."

Ginny stared at her brother, like she can't believe he would say such things about her, "But I just want to move on, start again, try again later. I can't deal with an imperfect life…" She had tears building in her eyes and Harry had had enough.

"You can start again Ginny but without me. Now I've got an imperfect son to care for and when I have time I'll talk to a lawyer about divorce papers and get them sent to you. Just sign them Ginny and you can move on to a perfect life like you want, it will just have to be a perfect life without me." Leaving his wife crying numbly against the wall and his in-laws sitting in shock, Harry walked out the door and didn't look back.

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Harry hadn't returned straight to the hospital after he had stormed out of the Weasley's but had instead gone home to contact his lawyer, writing her a letter to inform her about quitting the Aurors and his need for a meeting to discuss the options when it comes to divorcing Ginny. He also sent a letter to the admin of his sons ward informing them that he would be back in the morning and that Ginny was in no way to get close to his son.

After he had written the letters and sent them on their way Harry decided that a proper sleep was in order after days of napping in a hospital chair. His son was in the safe hands of St Mungo's Healers and nurses and his soon to be ex-wife had been locked out of the wards of their, his, home. It was just gone nine at night and Harry found himself exhausted and as he settled down in his bed he knew that was in for a long and hopefully peaceful sleep.

He was right and he woke a little over ten hours later and as he rubbed his sleep crusted eyes he could tell that he was feeling more refreshed then he had in a long time. Not even the hooting of an annoyed brown owl could disrupt his pleasant mood.

Looking towards the window Harry could tell that the owl was one of his lawyers, he recognised the handwriting and he knew his lawyer had a fondness for evil little owls who liked to nip fingers.

Ten minutes later Harry had dressed, read the letter from his lawyer and was well on his way to finishing his first cup of tea of the day. He'd reply to the letter when he got back from the hospital but for now he just wanted to have a quick breakfast and then grab a new novel to read before flooing to the hospital.

Harry had been away from his son for almost 15 hours and while he knew he had needed the sleep it doesn't mean that he was happy that he had been away from his son for so long.

Harry hospital wasn't very busy when he arrived and Harry found he had time for a quick chat with Nurse Thompkins before he moved on to his son's ward. He hadn't even opened the door when he heard his son crying.

He rushed to his Nathanael's side but finding no threat he softly picked his son up and cradled him gently in his arms. He quickly checked his son's nappy to see if it was wet but he found no wetness. Harry then checked when his last feet time had been and after checking Nathanael's notes Harry could tell that his son had just been crying for attention because he wasn't wet and he had been fed not even thirty minutes ago.

Harry chuckled down at his quiet, curious son, "Missed daddy did you?" the proud father rubbed his son's tony nose with the tip if his finger, "Missed you too baby but daddy had to sort some things out. I just want to be the best dad I can be, even if life isn't perfect." Harry sat in the chair as his son continued to stare at him. "You are so cute, I can't wait till you are older Nathy, and then we are going to have so much fun together and you'll have everything I didn't. Love, hope, limits and dreams and my son, my little love, I vow on my heart, soul and magic to be the best father you could ever want." With that Harry barely noticed the shiver of power run over him and his son because after all it wasn't more important than his son. Nothing was.

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Well I hope you liked that! and the next chapter should be about another week. And yes that's when you'll see Vet!Harry aha

Don't forget to review and/or check out my 'What next' poll if you have time!

CK