-Hey Yuyuko, good to finally had the chance to talk face to face. My name is Yukari ... -
The woman said with simple words, even I can't believe that anyone would be talking to me like this. I walked over and smiled with joy.
-Hello Yukari, I see you've heard me and know my story. Now I'd like to hear yours if you want to share it with me- I said with encouragement, I had never seen her before. She was not part of the women who neither worked in the temple nor was any of the priestesses who came to visit me a few times a year. But I felt something familiar about her I could not describe.
And suddenly this girl named Yukari, showed out of nowhere in the middle of the garden. She seemed to be a good person but rather mysterious. It was not clear to me how she got here thought.
-Well, if you want to know my story… I probably would explain a lot of things that are hard for you to understand- She said with some humor, trying to not sound offensive about it.
-I'll try as best as I can to understand everything you tell me. I have plenty of time around here you know? - I said trying to be funny; I did not know very well how to hold a conversation in with other people for too long.
-Well if I try to summarize my own story as much as possible, it would be the sad story of a poor woman who has lived alone for many, many years, watching the passage of time and seasons trying to make sense of what humans call life ... - she said with a sad smile as she turned down the little umbrella she was carrying, then took a step forward and slowly approached me.
I felt a chill to see that she came to me and started to recede while the girl approached. People usually do not dare to be near me, much less physical contact. Recalling some of what happened several years ago, I don't want to repeat the same bad thing.
-P-please, d-don't come near me, there-e is n-no -need ... - I said a little embarrassed, not wanting to sound aggressive, much less make it out, just not I wanted my first real conversation in years, ended in disaster.
-People say you can kill them whit just a glare or that you're a woman possessed by a god of death. Some say that you're a monster who takes the life of anyone who approaches you ... - She said while I tried to get back to my room, even if then I remembered that some of the guards called me "the youkai of death" although I am only human.
Suddenly I felt that the road ended and behind me a tree stood in my way of escape. I was trapped there and Yukari was right in front of me, so all I did was close my eyes and hope that nothing bad happens this time. Suddenly I could hear her soft voice over my ear, her face was so close to mine that I felt shivers on my neck.
- ... I want you to kill me ... – She suddenly said.
I immediately turn to look right into her eyes and yelled.
-I will never do that, I do not want to cause the death of more people, much less that of someone I just met- I said upset and sad. How could someone wish to die like them?.
- ... You can do it, only you can kill me because I can't die in any other way… please end my suffering... -
I interrupted her with all my courage and I assumed that would be reassuring, something that was denied to me. I hugged her tight and started to mourn over her shoulder. Then I heard her words again.
- ... Thank you ... -
She said as I felt her strength weakened on how she who leaned against me as if she was falling sleep. I pulled away from her and I could see her eyes closed and then she smiled, just before coughing blood that fell on my face and kimono.
I had done it again. I caused someone death, someone else whose life ended by my hands.
Suddenly I remembered the picture of that monk dying in front of me when I was younger, that give me the strength for not losing hope. I embraced Yukari again and slowly started walking towards the mansion, though it was less than thirty feet maybe less, I move very slowly as I had never picked up large objects or another person before, although she was not entirely unconscious and therefore supported her feet on the ground from time to time.
I don't know how much time passed, but I did it as fast as I could just to get to the stairs I used all my strength to lift her and move her through the hall. Luckily my room is close to the garden so with just another big effort I managed to gently put her over my bed.
Her face was pale but still she said some words with her weak voice. I got up and ran to the kitchen for water and carried it to my room on a cooking pot. I take a handkerchief from my clothes, and used it to wipe her face and neck of blood, but soon I noticed that my tears fell on her. I was desperate but inside I cried for forgiveness for what I had done.
-I want you to die. This is unfair, as you want to die by my hand I never want to do it again and yet it happened... -
-Life is better when you live ... life gives more satisfaction than death ...-
Please, please I…Don't want you to die- my voice slowly broke and tears covered my face.
- P-lease ... ... l-let me die ... please ... -
She said very quietly, she opened her eyes and raised her hand to my face. Her eyes looked calm and peaceful, perhaps hoping that her path will end soon and with it all her pain. I knew that feeling, just that night when the dagger cut through my chest.
I wish with all my strength to stop this curse and to save her life, even if I die instead of her I wanted that she find happiness someday. Both my heart and head began to ache and the scar on my chest hurt a lot.
I felt my life ended by ceasing to feel my heart beating, and everything went dark as I fell over Yukari. Maybe it was time for me to receive punishment, but at least I know that I tried to save someone from my curse.
- ... To sacrifice her life for someone like me? ... Why? -
I listened the girl's voice far away, I felt like the air blowing through the bedroom door as it touched my face. The woman keeps saying things but I can't open my eyes.
- ... The cruelty that people showed before proved that humans are the worst, they are all but species who knows to only cause pain and death. They live in delusions that are so ephemeral and weak that are almost as nothing as leave carried by the wind. I have caused so many wars and death in this world but still find no relief. But you, a human able to erase the existence of life have forgiven me? Someone she had just met and that I would have killed if things were not like now ... –
I was so happy, she had survived. Her words didn't felt bad or distressed, they encouraged me to try to wake up. I wanted to answer her and show her that life was more than pain and suffering, something more than the death of others, I want to show her that life was everything and that it was something precious.
I felt that a little strength returned to me and a soft, slow heartbeat began to give rhythm to my heart. I opened my eyelids a little heavy and turn my face to Yukari to look at her best, she was standing near the door. I opened my mouth and try to say something with all the strength I had in my weak body.
-If you cannot find the meaning of life… then live… Live to the fullest and enjoy the gift of life. No matter how bad the past was it's always better to live to pay for your sins than to die for nothing- I said as clear and strong as I could, though my voice was really something hard to hear.
Yukari stood by the door still watching me, not utter any words as I started to get up. When I stand there she walk to me, this time her eyes did not show anything.
-If my death can relieve some of the pain that is inside you, then I gladly give you my life- I said and smiled, maybe this time my heart would not beat again.
I closed my eyes and wait for the outcome.
I felt her arms clutched around mine and squeezed my back while I heard the sobs of the sad girl crying all the pain and sorrow she had carried for so many years. I embrace and comfort her hoping thereby to cure her agony.
We were both there for several minutes or several hours, I did not realize how much time passed.
After that Yukari released me and pulled away from me, she look away to the other direction and was silent even with tears falling from her eyes. Until that moment I realized that she was not affected by my ability again, maybe I was able to could control it now.
And again time passed, I kept looking at her, remembering and wondering how much pain she had suffered in the past, until a sound interrupted my thinking.
My stomach growled hard and I felt very sorry, as my hunger was noted.
Yukari only looked at me with sadness in his face, so I could only laugh. Laugh with joy and the fact that I break this supposedly serious moment. Her eyes lit up a bit and a slight smile crossed her face.
-Would you like something to eat? - I asked with the intent to start a conversation and maybe this time to know more about her.
-Sure, I would love it- Yukari said as she wiped out the tears.
-Then let's go, the kitchen is this way- I pointed out the door to the next aisle. The sadness and anxiety I felt at some point no longer exist and can assure that she felt the same.
-You have a beautiful hair. Its color looks good on pair with your eyes- she told me as a compliment as she walked beside me.
-Thanks, I try to take good care of it, so I keep it short, I brush and wash diary too…- I replied, my red hair and amber eyes were an inheritance from my mother, and I keep a haircut as she used to.
-By the way I am fifteen years, and you? - I asked with curiosity as she is a bit taller than me, so I figured she would be older than me.
-I have seventeen flowers of youth… I look younger right? - Yukari replied after a slight silence and smiled again.
-Of course... - I stopped and looked at her very happy.
- ... Thank you ... - I could not help but be thankful for her unexpected visit and the strange way the events took place, I could not find a better way to express what I felt at that moment, a mixture of happiness and relief. Finally I was talking to someone else while also stopped my own curse. Yukari look at me with a weird look, but smiled in a manner identical to me.
-Well, well, while we eat I hope you can tell me more about you- I said while walking into the kitchen, she nodded and followed me. I had many cravings and curiously it seems that my appetite had increased as I want to eat much more than before.